White Walls

Monday Morning.

I don’t think I’ve ever woken up dreading the day ahead of me more than I did this morning. Not only was I going to court to support my best friends’ divorce, but I was going with the worst hangover ever.
Last night I’d been over at Tate’s, leaving John and Lucas at home. I knew I could count on Tate to get me drunk without asking too many questions. She dropped me home just before midnight, allowing me to sneak back up to our bedroom and collapse into bed. John wasn’t sleeping in our room as of right now, basically because I had banished him from the slightest idea that he was welcome back there. Now he slept on a transportable mattress in his study. He kept the door closed throughout the day so Lucas wouldn’t notice anything was up. We were civil for his sake but when he wasn’t in the room, I didn’t say two words to John.

I still couldn’t believe what he’d done. I’d listened to the entire song since finding out and couldn’t stop crying. I know it was pathetic of me, but I didn’t care- it hurt too much to know that he thought that way about me at one point and instead of telling me personally, he put it in a song for the world to hear. He didn’t have courtesy to tell me in the first place and that hurt the most. Just the solid betrayal of that killed me.

I looked up when I heard a knocking on my door. It was undoubtedly John, because Lucas just pushed his way into any room, without even thinking about knocking. “What?” I called, too lazy to allow him in.

“It’s nine thirty! Tim’s gonna be here soon!” John called back.

I sighed, dropping back down on the bed. I’d forgotten that we’d planned to go to the courthouse together. It was a Monday, meaning we had work, but because the court appointment would clash, I wouldn’t be going in. Neither would Tate or Tim. But of course, Tim had to drop off a few things regarding the new employee training and intern stuff before making his way to pick John and myself up.

It was quite common, actually, that we’d all try and carpool when there were things we had to go to together.

Now, I was simply regretting it.

I pulled myself out of bed, still in last night’s clothes. It was the first night I’d spent at home since our fight, and I’m not going to lie- I missed him laying beside me. I made my way into our bathroom, closing the door as I heard him enter our room, probably to get his suit. I hated that I couldn’t gush all over him in his suit right now, but the thought of him currently repulsed me.

I almost threw up when I saw myself in the mirror. I pulled my dress over my head and winced. I was so thin it wasn’t even funny. When I saw Dr May last, we’d talked about putting me on a certain medication that would help me gain weight. I was adamant I could do it myself, but now…I was seriously doubting myself, which wasn’t a surprise.

I didn’t even allow myself a second glance in the mirror before I was in the shower and out of view of
the mirror.

I hated myself.

***

JOHN’S POV

I hated myself.

I sat on the bed and let out a deep sigh. I was losing her and I didn’t know what to do about it. I’d come clean with her like Lisa had said but it only backfired in my face. Okay, so I didn’t know she knew about These Four Words and it was a shit move for me to keep it from her so long and expect her to be okay with it. But in my defence, she could have been a little more open towards it. The counselling, not the song. I was doing this for us and she couldn’t even see that. I wanted to marry her and she couldn’t see past a little secrecy.

I heard the shower shut off so I jumped up and grabbed my suit from the closet before slipping out of our room, making sure to close the door behind me before heading back to my studio. She’d been making me sleep in there once Lucas had gone to bed every night, claiming it was either that or I go stay with Austin. Turns out Austin was living in a dirty, cheap motel that was best known for drug raids and a go-to spot for hookers.

It didn’t quite appeal to me.

I got dressed in my studio before leaving the room and making my way into the kitchen for a coffee. It was uncomfortably quiet in our house this morning and part of that was because I’d dropped Lucas off at my parents, planning to pick him up after the court hearing. I don’t know if Leighton planned on going with me or whether she was going back to the office with Tim, because we didn’t really talk all that much.

“Tim’s here.”

I looked up, her voice startling me. I turned around and my eyes widened at the sight of her. She wore a cream coloured pencil skirt with a matching top underneath a light pink blazer, her blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail, showing her beautiful face. Her cheek bones were a lot more prominent than I remembered, but she still looked gorgeous. She looked stunning.

But I couldn’t say anything about that, because she hated me about that stupid fucking song.

“D-did he text you?” I asked lamely.

She nodded, sending me an ‘obviously’ look. Without another word, she picked up her bag and walked towards the front door, not bothering to check if I had the keys or not. I grabbed them from the kitchen counter before following her out, loosing my mind over the way she looked in that skirt.

“Hey guys!” Tim called from the front seat of his truck. He too was in a suit. I guess it really was an occasion to dress up.

“Hey man,” I nodded, stopping by his window as Leighton climbed into his passenger seat. “Ash not coming?”

“Nah she couldn’t get away from work.” He nodded, before pointing to the backseat. “Get in, we’re gonna be late.”

“I probably should have gone with Hilary.” Leighton spoke up. “She wants me as a witness against Austin.”

“You’re gonna go against Austin?” Tim asked in surprise as I jumped into the backseat and we pulled out of the driveway.

She shrugged and nodded. “I’m going to tell the truth.”

Tim nodded before focusing on the road. “So how’ve you two been?”

“Good,” I nodded quickly, before Leighton could say otherwise.

She shrugged again and looked out of her window.

Tim sent me a look in the rear-view mirror to which I shook my head at. “So Lei, I’m going back to the office after all of this to give Elijah the low-down on the new interns. Are you coming back or taking the day off?”

“I was going to pick Lucas up from John and Jenny’s and just work from home. I haven’t really spent proper time with him this week.” She mused. “I miss the little guy.”

“Yeah that’s totally cool,” Tim nodded, “as long as you’re in tomorrow, we’ve got a huge meeting.”

“Yeah that’s fine,” Leighton nodded, before looking back out the window.

The rest of the ride was in pure silence. Tim didn’t even think to turn on the radio. I sat in the back, waiting in agony for it to be over. She was really putting me through hell.

We finally got to the court house, and found a bunch of our friends waiting outside. Hilary was there, but there was no sight of Austin. I hoped to god he showed up and didn’t let her down. She looked like she was barely holding it together as it was.

“Can you let me out? I’ve gotta speak with Hil,” Lei asked Tim as he looked around for a parking spot.

“Yeah sure,” he nodded, coming to a break.

“Thanks.” She smiled softly before jumping out and head over to everybody, leaving just me and Tim in the car.

“Dude what the fuck is up with you two?” He asked almost immediately.

I sighed and collapsed back into my seat. “She found out about These Four Words and hates my guts.”

“Oh shit!” He exclaimed, not finding this as detrimental as I did. “You’re kidding!”

“Not at all.” I spat through gritted teeth. “She hates me.”

“Shit dude, I’m so sorry.” He frowned, pulling into a spot.

I shrugged. “It’s my fault, I deserve it.”

“Well I mean, morally yeah, but still…that sucks.” He said, as we got out of the truck. “I bet she’ll be pissed at me too for not saying anything.”

“She shouldn’t be…but yeah she will be.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “Dude she won’t even let me explain.”

“Do you really think she’d want to hear it?” Tim mused, sending me a look as we neared the group. “We’ll talk later, man.”

When we approached the group, we greeted everybody and I couldn’t help but notice Leighton was missing. When I noticed Hilary was too, I figured they were together.

“Any sign of Gibbs yet?” Tim asked, looking around.

“Not yet,” Tate muttered, rolling her eyes. Okay so apparently all of the girls were on Hil’s team. “He better show up.”

“He’ll show, come on guys he’s not a bad person, he just made a few mistakes.” I reasoned, ignoring Tim’s amused expression. “I mean…we all make them.”

They knew I was a class A example of a mistake. I’m pretty sure at least half of the girls told Leighton at one point that I wasn’t worth the emotional distress and that she would be better off without me. I mean, I couldn’t say I didn’t disagree.

“Yeah and humiliating her in front of a full court house is going to be his next one if he’s not careful.” Parker retorted.

“Alright guys, we’re going in,” Leighton spoke as she approached, Hilary in tow behind her. She didn’t look like she wanted to speak to anyone, which I didn’t blame her for. “Is he here yet?”

I shook my head, wincing at Hilary’s reaction. “I’ll give him a call.”

“It doesn’t matter if he shows up or not, they’ll still pass it.” Hilary mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. She looked tired, and sad. She looked about as empty as Leighton did.

Everyone chose to follow the girls inside, with only Eric by my side as I dialled Austin’s number.

“You think he’ll show?” I asked Eric, who looked doubtful.

“He better. If he doesn’t…it just shows how little he values his family.” Eric shrugged harshly. Since becoming engaged to Jac, family became his top priority, which was actually kind of admirable, if not a little annoying.

“Guys!”

We looked up to see Austin making his way over to us. I hung up the call and slid my phone into my pocket.

“Dude, you’re late. They’ve already gone in.” Eric stated, sending him a look.

“I know, I got held up.” Austin mumbled, fixing his tie. “It’s not like I was just dying to get here.”

“You’re not hung over, are you?” I asked carefully.

“I haven’t had a drink in three days, alright?” He snapped, sending me a look. “I know the reality of today and I don’t need a drink to accept it.”

“Good,” I nodded, patting him on the back, an attempt to release his tension. “Let’s go, man.”

He let out a deep sigh before nodding and following us in.

The whole vibe of the courthouse was downright depressing. It was just the knowledge of what went on here that really unsettled your state of mind or any hopes you had of coming out of this with a good outcome.

What was even stronger, was the eye contact between Austin and Hilary as we waited outside the courtroom. He made the slightest movement, shaking his head at her as if he was pleading her to change her mind. I watched as her eyes filled with tears as she nodded at him, mouthing what looked to be ‘I love you’ before turning away for good.

“They’re gonna take her away from me,” Austin hissed into my ear, his hand gripping my forearm. “You have to help me, man. I won’t be able to handle that.”

“They’re not going to take her away from you,” I whispered, turning him away from the others. It’s not like they were paying him any attention in the first place. They were all just kind of stuck in the middle, not knowing whose side to pick. I think it was kind of awkward how Lei and I had clearly ‘chosen’ opposing sides. “You just need to stay strong man, and do everything they say- go to rehab, go to therapy, see a marriage counsellor, do it all, you got it? You’re fighting for your daughter right now, you can’t afford to breakdown.”

“You’re right,” he coughed through a shaking breath. He looked up in alarm as everybody started to file in. “Oh fuck.”

“It’s alright, there’s two more cases before yours, you’ve got time.” I assured him, patting him on the back before heading in.

I had no idea how I was going to pick up the pieces once the reality hit him hard.

***

LEIGHTON’S POV

“Let’s see…uh, Mr and Mrs Gibbs?” The judge called, looking over the papers in front of her. So far we’d only been here for an hour. Two marriages gone in an hour.

Hilary took a deep breath before standing from her seat beside her lawyer and greeted the judge.
John’s hand slithered into mine as we sat behind them in one of the wooden benches. I quickly rejected his advance and moved my hands into my lap. I don’t care what we were going through, I didn’t want his ‘comfort’.

“Mrs Gibbs, you’re filing for divorce against your husband?” The judge asked, looking over the top of her glasses at Hilary.

“Yes, your honour.” The way she said it so easily saddened me. I never in a million years expected it to turn out like this. I didn’t think it was possible for it to turn out like this.

“Mr Gibbs, you’re aware that divorce papers have been sent to you?”

“Yes m’am.” Austin nodded from beside his own lawyer.

“But you’ve refused to sign them?”

I looked over at him, intrigued for his reaction. Hilary had said he was hesitant about signing the papers, hence being the reason we were all here in the first place. That and the fact that she wanted full custody over Alexandra.

“That would be correct.” Austin confirmed, wincing slightly.

“Alright…now Mrs Gibbs, you’re filing for divorce due to infidelity? Is that all?”

Hilary nodded, her lip quivering. I knew how hard this was going to be for her, making her stand up there by herself and admitting to all of this in front of everybody. “Y-yes your honour. I’m also requesting full custody of our daughter.”

Austin’s head shot up. “Wait- you didn’t tell me that!” He shot across at Hilary.

“Well maybe you’d know if you weren’t hung over every time I tried to call you!” She snapped back, silencing him within a second.

“Order,” The judge demanded, sending them looks. “Mrs Gibbs, I understand you’re divorcing Mr Gibbs also over an incident that occurred a few weeks ago, is that correct?”

Hilary nodded in confirmation.

“Where you claim he put your eleven month old daughter in physical danger?”

Austin looked down in shame, all eyes on him. There was a few people waiting for their case after theirs, who looked just as shocked considering they didn’t know anything about the situation. I was starting to feel bad for him.

“Yes, your honour.” Hilary nodded, looking directly at Austin.

“I believe we have witnesses for this? Timothy Kirch, please rise beside Mrs Gibbs here.” The judge called.

Tim did as she asked, surprising most of us that he was even going up. Austin looked just as surprised, if not a little betrayed. Something he had no right of feeling. One of the security guards took him through the whole ‘tell nothing but the truth’ deal before Tim stood beside Hilary, looking more professional than we knew him for.

“Mr Kirch, please recount the event as you saw it.”

Tim nodded before speaking. “Well, I own a management company, and we were throwing a party to celebrate promotions and new clothing lines, and more than just knowing Hilary and Austin, Austin’s been very involved with the company as he is from time to time a featured musician with us, so I mean they were invited without a second thought, it was like a regular party that everybody is invited to,” Tim explained, quickly setting the scene. “Anyway, later on in the night, once a few people had had a few drinks, I noticed-“

“You’re telling me by knowledge, that people were consuming alcohol at this party?” The judge intervened.

Tim stopped in confusion, slowly nodding. “Yes, your honour, that would be correct. It was a controlled party, though. We throw them quite often.”

“And there was children at this party?”

I tensed up beside John, who winced.

“Yes, your honour.” Tim nodded, not showing any sign of weakness. I had to hand it to him, he was strong. If that was me, I’d be sobbing and apologising for being a horrible mother.

“So you believe it’s a good idea for children to be around this kind of activity?”

“Your honour, this was a work party, an event where getting intoxicated is frowned upon. Children are safe at these events because the large majority of those in attendance are in perfect condition. What happened that night has never happened before and will never happen again.” Tim assured, saving not just his ass, but the company’s within a matter of words. “The only children in attendance was Austin and Hilary’s daughter, and my best friends’ three year old son.”

“Alright, continue on.”

Tim nodded before getting to the hard part. “Like I was saying before, I noticed that there was some sort of argument going on between Austin and Hilary in the kitchen, away from everybody else. I approached the kitchen and they were screaming at each other. I don’t know what they were fighting about but Austin was extremely drunk when he had Alexandra in his arms-“

“He was only holding her with one arm!” Hilary interrupted, pointing at Austin. “He was holding a beer in the other!”

“Order!” The judge demanded once again. “Mr Kirch, is this true?”

“Yes, your honour, I meant that he was only holding her with one arm.” Tim nodded.

“Well please, Mr Kirch, do not stray from the truth in the slightest.” She said firmly.

Tim nodded once more, abiding by her rules.

“Alright, keep going.”

“So when I noticed that something serious was going on and that we had to intervene, I grabbed Leighton, because-“

The judge sat forward. “Leighton Johnson?”

Tim nodded. “Yes, your honour. She intervened the argument between Austin and Hilary.”

“Leighton Johnson please rise beside Mr Kirch.”

My eyes widened, my hands shaking as Hilary may or may not have forgotten to tell me that I’d be standing in front of an entire court room talking shit about her soon-to-be ex-husband.

“You’ll be fine,” John whispered in my ear.

I stood up and made my way over to Tim, standing beside him and Hilary. I could feel Austin’s eyes on me and it only added to the pressure. I went through the ‘tell nothing but the truth’ deal before turning to the judge.

“Miss Johnson? Is it or is it not true that you were asked by Mr Kirch to intervene?”

“That is true, your honour.” I nodded.

“When you got to the kitchen Miss Johnson, what did you see?”

Okay, here we go. You can do this, you can totally do this. “I s-saw Austin and Hilary screaming at each other. He was holding Alexandra with one arm, a beer in the other. He was too drunk to be holding her at all. Hilary was screaming at him to hand her over, but he refused. He was being abusive and I was scared he was going to drop Alex.” I explained, feeling like nothing but a snitch.

The judge looked up at me. “Abusive? In what way?”

Austin’s eyes narrowed at me, like he was silently threatening me. I didn’t want to do this anymore, I just wanted to go home and hide under the sheets with Lucas and possibly John.

“H-he pushed Hilary back. I mean I only got a scratch but that was because I was trying to grab Alexandra. He got defensive when one of us tried to get close. He was yelling at Hilary, calling her abusive names.” I said slowly.

The judge looked over at Hilary. “Is this true? Did your husband turn physical on you?”

There were a few whispers behind us.

“Yes, your honour. But I’m not pressing charges, he was drunk. He was out of his mind.” Hilary nodded, looking at her hands.

“Mr Gibbs, are you aware that physical violence towards your spouse can instantly remove your daughter from your custody? Permanently?” The judge asked Austin, who looked like he was about to break down.

“Of course not,” he choked, looking at his feet. “I didn’t…I don’t remember most of it…your honour I would never intentionally harm my girls, I hate myself every day over what happened- but you can’t take my daughter away from me!” He pleaded. “I’ll do whatever it takes!”

The judge turned away from him, looking back at me. “You said he harmed you too. You haven’t proceeded to press charges?”

I shook my head. “No, your honour.” It never even crossed my mind. I mean I wasn’t exactly best friends with the guy anymore, but I’d never take him to court.

“And was that all that happened that night? You ended up retrieving Mr and Mrs Gibbs’ daughter?”

I could see how much Hilary hated being referred to as Mrs Gibbs. She used to love that, she said she couldn’t wait to take his last name.

“Yes your honour,” I nodded, “I took Alexandra and the fight between the two was ended when a few of our friends pulled them away from each other. That was when we found out he cheated on her.”

Oh god did I sound like a snitch.

“Thank you Miss Johnson, Mr Kirch, you can be seated.” The judge nodded to the both of us.

Thank god. Tim and I made our way back to our seats as the judge proceeded on Austin.

“Mr Gibbs, when was it that you were unfaithful to Mrs Gibbs?” She asked him bluntly.

“While she…while she was pregnant with our daughter, your honour.” Austin mumbled, looking down in shame. His confession only provoked more whispers behind us, people that didn’t know the ins and outs of their relationship or how in love they started out to be.

“And you lied to her, for- how old is your daughter, Mr Gibbs?’

Eleven months. She turns one in a few weeks.” Austin said softly, sounding more paternal than I’d heard in a while.

“Did you have a relationship with the woman you cheated on your wife with?”

“Of course not,” Austin said immediately, shaking his head profusely. “No way. I don’t know why I did it, I was…I was scared, I think. It was all happening so fast.”

“Is this the first time you’ve cheated on your wife?”

“Yes, your honour.”

The judge looked towards Hilary. “Mrs Gibbs, is that true?”

“To my knowledge.” She nodded. “But if he’s lied about that I don’t believe a word he says anymore.”

Ouch. I could feel my heart twist at her words. I looked over at Austin to see tears filling his eyes. He ran a shaking hand through his hair. This wasn’t them.

“Hilary…” he murmured, looking at her from across the room. “Babe you know me-“

“I don’t know you at all.” She snapped. “You lied to our family. You don’t deserve Alexandra.”

“Mr and Mrs Gibbs,” The judge sighed, interrupting the two. “Have you thought about marriage counselling?”

“Yes. He won’t go.” Hilary nodded. “I personally feel it’s too late for that. I don’t wish to fix things, your honour. The betrayal is too much and I would feel more safe with a divorce.”

Safe.

“Safe?!” Okay, so Austin and I were on the same page here.

“Oh god,” John mumbled.

“Hilary you know me! I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t…I’ll do anything- your honour, I’ll do anything.” Austin pleaded.

Hilary turned to Austin with a cold stare. “You went back on our vows. The promises we made on
our wedding day. We created a child and you screwed another woman while I was pregnant! You can’t possibly think I trust a single fibre in your being! Why would I trust you with my daughter?!”
The courtroom fell silent. He’d lost. There was no chance for him now, and just about everybody knew that.

“Your honour,” Austin’s lawyer intervened, a hand on his shoulder. “My client is willing to do whatever it takes for the custody of his daughter. Whether it be therapy, counselling, rehab-“

“Rehab,” the judge mused with a nod. “I understand Mrs Gibbs, that you claim your husband has a drinking problem.”

“Yes, your honour. I believe it was genetic.” Hilary nodded.

The judge nodded. “I have medical tests and a written commission from Mr Gibbs’ mother claiming that his father was or is the subject of a drinking problem. Mr Gibbs, do you agree or disagree?”

“He’s a drunk, your honour.” Austin nodded in shame. “But I take responsibility for my own actions. Whether or not that’s genetic.”

“I see, and would you be willing to go to rehab?” The judge ordered.

Austin winced, hesitantly. “Will I get to see my daughter?”

The judge hesitated, looking over at Hilary. “I believe that in order to…assure your daughters’ safety, she would be better off with your wife. Full time.”

“But what if I get clean? You can’t take them away from me, your honour,” Austin pleaded, wiping his eyes. I don’t think he noticed the ‘them’ instead of ‘her’, but just about everybody else did. “I need to see my little girl grow up, she’s turning one, and she’ll forget me if I’m not-“

“Mr Gibbs,” the judge ordered, interrupting him. “You’ve physically harmed your wife, lied to her, committed adultery, and endangered your daughter because of a drinking problem. More so, you don’t have efficient living conditions to bring up your daughter as a single parent, nor the income. From where I stand, either you do it with your wife or you don’t at all. She has chosen the first option but you don’t seem to measure up to that expectation.”

“No…” Austin protested, losing the fight in him. Hilary bit her lip, unable to look at him as he broke beside her.

“I hereby declare Mrs Hilary Georgia Gibbs divorced from Mr Austin Chandler Gibbs. Full custody of Alexandra Lilah Gibbs goes to her mother, and any visitation rights have been suspended as of this point forward and will be reviewed at a later date. Mr Gibbs, by court, you must attend a minimum of ten counselling appointments and will be enrolled in a rehabilitation program to commence within the next week. We will review this case in a month for progress. Case closed.” The judge announced, slamming her mallet on the desk in front of her. “Next case!”

It all happened so fast and it hurt to watch. Hilary and Austin were taken out of the room by their lawyers to sign the divorce papers and the custody papers while the rest of us were lead to exit the building. I don’t know what I was supposed to feel after all of this was over, but can confirm I didn’t like it at all.

When we all spilled out of the courthouse, there wasn’t a lot of talking. Everybody was a little dumbfounded at what had just happened.

“You okay?”

I looked up at John as he approached me, a hand on my forearm. I nodded slowly, feeling my eyes well up with tears. I can’t believe it. They were officially divorced. My best friends’ marriage was over.

“A little upset,” I murmured as he pulled me into his chest. I didn’t pull away this time, wrapping my arms around his torso. “For them.”

“It’ll be for the best,” John insisted, mumbled his words into my hair. “Where do you wanna go from here? You wanna pick up the baby?”

“You know you can’t call him that forever,” I stated, raising an eyebrow at him as I pulled away.

“I know…” he sighed, rubbing his jaw. “I’ve still got a few years though.”

“Hey guys, we’re all gonna head off, we don’t wanna crowd them when they come out.” Eric said as he approached with Jac. “Tim’s gonna take Austin back, keep an eye on him.”

“Okay dude, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow than.” John nodded, giving him one of those guy hugs.

“Seeya babe, take it easy.” Jac sighed, giving me a tight hug. “We’ll catch up soon, alright?”

“Yeah,” I nodded slowly, giving Eric a hug before they left with the group. I turned to John. “Do you wanna drive back for Hil? She might be a little too emotional to drive.”

“Yeah sure,” John nodded, “then we’ll walk from hers to pick up Lucas and walk home.”

“Sounds good.” I nodded.

We nodded and waited quietly for them to be done. Tim seemed to be keeping his distance from us, playing around with his phone a metre or two away.

“Leighton…I’m sorry about the other day-“

I tensed up, pulling out of his grip. “Don’t.”

“Babe-“

“I said don’t.” I snapped, shooting him a glare. “We’re not talking about that now.”

“Well when can we talk? You’re shutting me out, it’s not healthy-“

“Don’t you dare talk to me about what’s healthy,” I hissed, turning away from him for good. “Go back with Tim, I don’t want to see you right now. I’ll pick up Lucas-”

“Leighton you can’t just-“

“What don’t you get?!” I exclaimed, not caring if Tim was listening. “You fucked up and I’m not ready to forgive you! Leave me alone!”

I didn’t hear another word from him and couldn’t help but feel like a total bitch. It didn’t help that my boss was around to witness it. I can’t believe I even forgot about everything for a minute. It’s been on my mind every second since the fight, and now I was just letting it slide so easy? I hadn’t even begun the recovery process yet, let alone thought about the idea of forgiving him.

Before we knew it, Hilary and Austin were being escorted out of the courthouse with their lawyers. Well, Austin was being escorted out. He had two security guards, one on either side of him, with one of them between him and Hilary. They were both red eyed and looking at the ground as they parted ways from their lawyers. Tim and John met Austin halfway, taking over for the security guards, whilst Hilary collapsed into my arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

“It’s going to be okay, Hil,” I sighed, rubbing her back. “Not yet, but it will be.”

“It’s over, Lei it’s all over.” She whimpered, clutching onto me like she would to Austin three years ago.
“I can’t believe we’re divorced.”

“It’ll be for the best Hilary, you know that.” I said calmly, trying to soothe her. It was difficult in the public eye with random people in suits judging you, but I tried my hardest. “This is what you need.”

“What I need right now is my baby girl,” she sniffed, pulling back slightly. “Will you come with me to get her? I need you with me.”

“Of course,” I nodded softly. “How about we pick up the kids, grab some food and stay in all day? Just us, Alex and Lucas?”

“That sounds perfect,” she choked, nodding quickly. “John won’t mind, will he?”

I shrugged. “That’s not important. What’s important is how you’re feeling. And our babies. Those too.”

“Alright, let’s go.” She nodded in agreement.

And so that’s how I spent the rest of my day. I camped out at Austin and Hilary’s, eating Chinese food and watching animated Disney movies with the kids. Hilary and I sat on the couch talking, while Alex and Lucas sat on the floor in front of us. I had a long talk with Hilary. Obviously she was upset and sad about the divorce because at the end of the day, that was her marriage gone. But she agreed and said she knew it was for the best. She’d expected a change in Austin and couldn’t wait any longer. She said she didn’t know if they’d get back together, but she wanted him to eventually be apart of Alexandra’s life, but only by her decision- and not for a good few months, allowing him the time to get clean. There was also the cheating thing, which she was trying to move on from. He’d completely betrayed her loyalty and destroyed her trust for him, he undoubtedly broke her heart, and he wasn’t able to repair that.

“I think…” she began slowly, once swallowing her food and looking down at Alexandra, “I think now we’re apart, I can find myself again, y’know? Ever since we got together, it’s been Austin and Hilary.
We’ve been inseparable, which is probably why when we got married and had Alex, he freaked out. I get it, it was all us, all the time. It was too much. I’m not excusing the cheating, but I get that he freaked. Hell, I freaked.” She admitted softly.

“So getting this divorce is definitely what you wanted?” I asked, looking over at her.

“Of course not,” she said, shaking her head and sending me a look. “I never wanted it, but I needed it. I needed it…to go find myself. Maybe now I can start putting all of my energy towards Alex and myself. I kind of forgot about me through all of this, always making sure I was impressing our families, being a good housewife…it’s time to reclaim my independency, y’know? I can still do that and be a good mother. As much as I want the traditional family structure with the loving husband and devoted father, clearly I wasn’t meant for that. Maybe this has happened for a reason, y’know? Maybe it’s supposed to be like this.”

“And you really believe that?” I murmured curiously.

She shrugged sadly, looking down at her carton of Chinese. “I’m starting too.”

That twisting feeling in my stomach only led me to believe that maybe the same goes for me. Was I not meant for that traditional family structure? Would I too end up a single mother?

Was this the beginning of the end of mine and John’s relationship?