Guilty Pleasures

Manhattan, NY.
My plane touched down at the Manhattan Regional Airport after a stopover in Kansas City. I'd leased a car beforehand and took a cab to the dealership where it was waiting for me. The cab driver moved my belongings from the trunk of the yellow car and put them into the trunk of the midnight blue Nissan Altima.

I'd rented a room at Windsor on the Park. Tomorrow I'd spend time getting used to the time change and making calls; one being to check if my dresser, lamps, and other belongings that were too big for a hotel room had arrived in the storage unit I'd rented. I wasn't in that much of a hurry to search for an apartment; other things came to mind that took priority over comfort.

The car's GPS told me I'd arrived at my new home for the month. I pulled into the parking lot, and as I checked in at the front desk, my mind conjured up and brought forth with clarity, a conversation with my boyfriend two days ago when I was still in Los Angeles...

Richard walked from the bedroom where he'd been relaxing and found Wil in the same spot he'd been for the last five hours—at the computer.

"I'd like to talk to you if you have a few minutes to spare." His voice was strong and steady and attracted Wil's attention right away.

Wil stood in front of Richard and snaked his arms around his neck. To Richard, those arms felt like two boa constrictors tightening and knotting around him.

"Not here." Richard said and motioned to the dining room. He sat and faced Wil across the table to give himself much needed distance. The table also served as a blockade in case Wil became furious, not that he was physical, but eight years together was a long time and Wil wouldn't let him go easily.

Before Richard began explaining what this was all about, he brought to mind a young man's face: his radiant white smile, full lips and sky blue eyes. Richard melted away in those eyes, an ocean of many shades of blue hidden within them. He was at home there. There was also that sparkling, outgoing personality. The memories set Richard at ease and allowed him to go ahead and do the right thing for Wil and himself, whether Wil felt it was beneficial or not.

He folded his hands on the table while deciphering Wil's expression. This would be hard. Wil wore a smile that crinkled the area around his pretty eyes.

"What did you want to talk about?"

Richard wet his lips and told him upfront. "I applied for a new job and I start in a couple of days."

Wil almost rose out of the chair, but Richard stopped him.

"Congratulations! Is it better? Of course it is. You wouldn't apply to somewhere worse." Wil laughed.

"The job is in Manhattan, New York. I'm going to pack tomorrow and I figure we can divvy up our things. What I can't take with me, you can keep."

"What?" Wil leaned forward and tried to take his hands, but Richard moved then to his lap before Wil made contact.

"I can't marry you."

"Why the hell not? We took that cruise and things were great! We reconnected."

"I agree, we did, but it only took us a couple of weeks to fall back into the rut that we were in before. I'm not happy and I know you're not. I think this is best for us."

"For us? So you get to decide what's best for us. Well I have some input, I think what's best for us is staying together!"

"Why is it best?" Richard asked exasperated. "Seven years with you was wonderful. This last year—not so much. I can't go on like this. We both deserve better."

Wil choked but pulled himself together. "Is there someone else?"

Richard didn't know how to answer that. He was interested in someone, but he was unsure if it would work out.

"Answer me, dammit!" Wil's face contorted with his anger and insecurity.

"No," he lied, albeit a small one.

"Richard, I want us to be like we were before this shit started. Before we lost touch and stopped communicating. You remember, before?"

"We can't go back to before. Before didn't work. How do you think we got in this mess to begin with?"

Wil stood up and walked to him, taking a seat on the end of the table, caressing Richard's cheek as he spoke with his infamous sexy tone, "We can do it differently. We won't fall into the same tiresome situation." Wil's fingers brushed down Richard's face and cupped his chin. "Let's finish this in the bedroom, handsome."

Richard raised his hand and took Wil's away from his face. "Having sex isn't going to fix us."

"We have to act like a team in order for this to work."

"A team? We’re not playing doubles tennis, man." Richard replied sarcastically.

"A couple. I meant a couple. Damn, don't get so defensive." Wil complained with a crease between his eyebrows.

Richard watched Wil's throat, adams apple jogging up and down with his excessive swallowing whereas his own throat had dried up.

Wil's exhaustive sigh brought Richard back to the present and he experienced a fair amount of guilt for snapping at him. Wil was trying his best to understand and Richard was on Wil's back for it.

The stilted dialogue was uncomfortable. They'd argued before, but at the moment, they were picking on each other for every minor infraction, every little error.

"You can't be surprised," Richard stated, "You knew this was coming. Things went wrong long ago. We need this, Wil."

"I knew we were having problems, but I never would have thought you'd break up with me."

"Wil, I want you to be happy. You and I haven't been happy, really happy, in a long time."

"And that's my fault?"

"I didn't say that." It was in one ear and out the other with Wil. "I'm saying we've grown apart and we have different interests now. We've both changed."

"If that's what you want, Richard. I won't keep fighting for what you think isn't here." The grimace on his face creased his forehead.

"I'm sorry, it's gone. I can't give any more. I have nothing left." Richard persuaded Wil to accept their fate. He pushed his chair back and stood to hug Wil. "I'm going to take a walk to let you relax. I won't be out long."

Wil nodded and nibbled on his lip. "Good, because I kind of hate you right now."

Richard kissed his cheek. "I still love you, but I'm not in love with you. You'll always remain special in my heart."

"Go now, before I start blubbering like a baby." Wil wiped his eye and dropped his gaze.

Richard took a step away, then turned back. He was going to ask if Wil was okay, but he knew Wil would lie and say yes. There was no way he'd be okay and Richard would be a jerk for asking such a thoughtless question. The sight of Wil's body shuddering as he soundlessly wept broke Richard's heart and soul.

Richard left in a rush to remind himself why he'd broken up with Wil before he succumbed to wanting to comfort his boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, no ex-fiancé, and suggest they try again. Once out of sight, he broke down crying at the loss of his best friend.

"Enjoy your stay Mr. Parker."

"What?" I asked, staring blankly at the hotel staff member who'd checked me in and handed me the key I was clutching in my right hand.

"I merely said that I hope you enjoy your stay," the bald, mustached man repeated.

I was still in a slight daze. I was really here and had left my home and Wil in L.A.!

"Oh, yes, you too." I happened to catch his confused expression before I bent down to grab my camera bag. I couldn't very well have left it in the car. The contents cost thousands of dollars.

After I hefted my suitcases and gear into my hotel room on the first floor, I laid out flat on the bed, spread eagle, and nodded off. Jet lag is a bitch.
∞∞∞∞∞∞
Screw the time change, I thought to myself when I woke. I sat up in bed, still clothed from the previous day and went to the bathroom, which appeared clean at first glance. Until upon closer inspection, it wasn't that clean, being a lower priced hotel. I'd have to remember not to sleep under the sheets. Bedbugs were prevalent in places such as this.

I washed my hands and my face and dried off. I took my time unpacking my clothing and transfering them to the drawers, and then tossed the ever present bible on the table near the window. It was time. Fear tried to grip me in its icy claws.

The high end apartments weren't far from my hotel, but I still needed to put the address I'd taken out of my wallet into the GPS. There were cars everywhere, honking and impatient. I didn't mind the congested traffic as it gave me time to gather my thoughts.

"You have reached your destination," the female voice told me. I took a right and parked.

Breathing out a sigh, I said to myself, "Apartment number 621." I looked up at the tall building and headed to the front doors where I explained to the door attendant who I was and whom I was there to see. He let me in without questioning me. I suppose since I was nearly forty, he didn't think I was a threat to anyone.

The elevator whisked me to the sixth floor and I stepped out onto the dark red carpet with beige walls. Inexpensive paintings and pictures were affixed to the wall so they couldn't be removed, not that anyone would want them, but they did liven up the hallway.

Standing at the golden numbers 621 bolted to a steel door, I reconsidered. I should have showered and changed or at least prepared something to say, but I'd been too excited. So, instead of chickening out, I raised my arm and took a sniff of my underarm; pleased to find that I didn't reek. I put my car keys in my pocket next to my cell phone, fixed my collar and hiked up my jeans. Inhaling, I raised my fist and knocked on the door. The steely sound echoed in the hallway. My hand went to my hair and combed it before anyone answered the door, then I knocked again.

The door opened and a bored voice asked, "Yeah?"

My mouth dried up. He was wearing tiny underwear that barely covered him—that was all—just white, itty, bitty nylon and spandex briefs. His head was down and he was yawning with a wide-open mouth, foregoing the courtesy of covering it.

"Kit?" I looked into the room beyond him and saw floor to ceiling windows, a TV, a couch; everything you would normally see in a living room and a pricey kitchen to the right.

"Hm?"

His head remained ducked because now he was now rubbing both eyes. I must have woken him.

I waited not so patiently. I wanted to scoop him up and kiss him senseless. He took note of my loafers and raised his head, his gaze rising up my body, until he set his eyes on my face. A look of surprise overcame him for a brief moment before he jumped into my arms.

"Richard Parker! This is such a wonderful surprise. How are you? What are you doing in Manhattan?" He stepped out of our embrace to look at me, grinned, and hugged me again. "God I missed the hell out of you."

I chuckled and let him ramble on. Finally, I had to ask, "May I come in?"

"Shit yeah! Where's Wil?" Kit poked his head out and looked up and down the hall.

"In L.A.," I replied, "I left him." We walked to the living room.

Kit pointed to the couch. "Have a seat, or help yourself to the fridge if you want. I'm gonna put some clothes on, unless you prefer me like this." His provocative voice teased.

"I don't mind. As long as you're not uncomfortable," I said tightly to hide the want in my voice and sank to the couch.

"You're kidding." He laughed and pointed a finger at me, shaking it. "After all the effort of flirting with you on that cruise, you finally say you don't mind? You're unbelievable, Mister Parker."

"I rather like looking at you. Besides, your bikini had less material than your briefs do. You're practically fully clothed in those." I chuckled and rubbed my leg nervously.

Kit sat near me on the couch with his legs tucked under his rear. He picked his fingernails then boldly cast me a look. "How did you find me? I'm unlisted."

My gaze swept up and down his tanned, lean body. His nipples were hard and he'd broken out in gooseflesh. I'd fantasized thousands of times to the image of when he'd been naked in his ship's cabin as well as mine.

"I looked you up on Google and found the underwear company you work for. I called them and they gave me your agent's name. Next, I called her and mentioned that I worked for one of the big magazines that wanted to do a feature on you and that I'd like to get in touch with you to see if you're interested. She gave me your number, but that isn't what I was after, so after I hung up I called her back and told her that an answering device said that the number I was trying to reach had been disconnected. Naturally my plan worked; she didn't question me when I asked for your address and voila—here I am."

His brows shot up and a grin slowly spread on his face. "You're so sneaky! It sounds like something I would do." He patted my knee and asked, "How long are you here for? Is it for work?"

"Yes, I start tomorrow." I looked about, seeing a guitar leaning on the wall in the corner of the room. "Do you play?"

His eyes swung to where I was looking. "I know a few songs. I do it to relax and for enjoyment. So, do you want me to give you a tour of the better parts of the town?"

I concentrated on his face. "No, I came to see you."

"What about?" Kit nibbled his lip and I figured he was anxious, that or trying to control himself from jumping me.

"Well..." I hemmed. "I thought, um, I'd take you out for lunch today—my treat. Are you up for it?"

He laughed. "How about I take you out for lunch? I know all the best places to go."

"I'd love to." I used my deep voice to confirm, then I leaned to the side and held the back of his head while I reeled him in and put a kiss on his soft lips.

"Richard!" Kit stood up as fast as he could.

I stood up too, thinking I'd offended him. "Did you make up with Dirk?"

"No, I'm over that porn attention seeker."

Then what was it, I wondered. "Are you seeing someone?"

"I've been out with some guys."

Maybe I should have called instead of showing up here unannounced. I'd have saved myself from being humiliated. Of course he's dating. He's a fucking model! "Are you serious about one of them?"

"No. I needed a warm body. It was just sex. It didn't mean anything."

My expression told him that I was appalled, but not for reasons he would think. It was a moral standard of mine that whenever I was intimate with someone I had to have feelings for the person. I was old school, but proud of it.

"Don't judge. You come to my home to ask me out for lunch and then kiss me? You're in town to do a job and then you'll leave like you did after the cruise. I don't want to go through that pain again. I was miserable when you chose Wil over me. I still am actually." He crossed his arms, glaring at me.

"I won't leave." I said and stared at his cock tightly enclosed in briefs and felt mine twitching to life.

"So you say." Kit took a defensive stance.

I raised my gaze to him. "I'm at the Windsor on the Park; it's not far from here."

"I'm familiar with it. Look, I know it was wrong to chase you all over that ship and try to get you to sleep with me. I should have respected you and Wil, but you can't come here and do the same thing to me. What about what I want and need? I don't want a fling, as much fun as they are. I like you too much to be with you just once—It'd be unfulfilling knowing you're leaving me again."

"I don't want a fling either." What was he getting at? I took a step forward and he took a few back and guarded himself with two hands in the air to stop me.

"It's best if I get dressed." He turned halfway to leave.

"Wait. I think you misunderstood me. I'm living at the Windsor on the Park. I have a new job here in Manhattan. I start tomorrow."

"And Wil?"

"I told you, I left him." All at once, it dawned on me. He thought I left him in L.A. to come here for a temporary assignment. "Kit, he and I broke up. I left him."

I wished I had a camera to take his picture after I told him. His face lit up like a damn Christmas tree. So beautiful. He rose on his tiptoes and sprinted to me on the balls of his feet.

"You better not be dickin' with me or I'll punch you in the nuts!" he said, laughing and hugging me tightly. My hands roamed over the skin on his back. I buried my nose in his hair and inhaled. He smelled of sleep.

"What does this mean for us?" He drew back and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"I thought we could start off slow and date while we get to know each other."

He smirked at me. "Slow? I suppose I can try."

His sly response made me laugh. I know he'd try his hardest to get me in his bed and I'd have fun dodging him, knowing I could give in without restriction.
∞∞∞∞∞∞
Kit sat on the floor cross-legged while moving his fingers on the chords and strumming the guitar with his thumb. He kept his head down, watching his own fingers, making sure he hit the right strings and sang with a gentle, tenor voice.

"Somewhere in her smile she knows
That I don't need no other lover
Something in her style that shows me

Don't want to leave her now
You know I believe her now

You're asking me will my love grow
I don't know, I don't know
You stick around now it may show
I don't know, I don't know"

The last note went on for a few seconds and when it ended, he looked up at me with a smile. I clapped wildly and praised him.

"You have a wonderful voice and that song—one of my favorites."

"I'm out of practice. I messed up the notes a couple times."

"I didn't notice. I thought it was brilliant."

He blushed. "Aw, you're just saying that to get into my pants."

"Hm." I leaned forward. "Is it going to work?"

His rich laugh affected me. I was so glad I decided to come out east to look him up.

"I thought you wanted to take this slow?"

"I may have spoken without thought," I said, eyes skittering over him. His skin was youthful and faultless.

"Uh-huh." Kit set his guitar aside and stood up. He straddled my legs and sat on my lap with his arms wrapped around my neck. "I think my serenade got under your skin and now you find me irresistible."

"That's certainly one way of looking at it," I hinted and placed my hands on his hips. I slipped my fingers in the waistband of his underwear and caressed his warm skin.

"You're giving me goosebumps." Kit came closer to my face.

"You're giving me something else," I said and jerked my head back when he tried to kiss me. Laughing at his puckered face, I squeezed him closer and kissed him. I pressed my lips to his and closed my eyes after I saw the look of temptation in his. My senses came alive: my lips tingled, my nerve endings crackled and his hips rolled back and forth. My sex was full and ready to burst. I wanted to throw him down on the couch and make love to every part of his body. I put my hands under his ass and lifted him, dropping him next to me on the couch.

I moaned and heard my sensible side speak up, "Let's go for breakfast instead of lunch."

"But I want breakfast in bed." Kit stroked the side of my neck with his fingers.

"Perhaps someday."

"Today!"

"Today is not someday." I tapped his nose. I don't know why. It was something an adult does to a child, and he wasn't a child. Yet, he pouted.

"I wish today was that day, but you're right. I'm hungry." Kit dashed to his bedroom. "I'll take you to this restaurant that has a huge buffet; it's cheap and has good homemade food," he yelled from his room.

"That sounds great." I stood up and fixed my shirt and the rest of my appearance so I'd be presentable.