Remember Me

The air conditioner thrummed loudly inside. It was fairly dark except for the rows of Christmas lights hanging along the ceiling. Billie was right about the whole underage thing. There were a bunch of kids here. All varying from thirteen to nineteen. Quiet a few older people too, in their 40's at least.
I guess that they make an exception for the kids at heart. Billie pulled me along to an table right in front of the small stage that took of an portion of the floor space of the big building.
“They are one of my favorite bands who play here.” Billie said looking up at the stage where an casual garage band group jumped about onstage and singing their hearts out into the microphone.
I inclined my head toward the stage.
“They are Operation Ivy.” he grinned. Already enveloped in his own little world as he watched.
I nodded and turned to watch the rest of the set. They actually were really good. I watched in unmasked awe as they brought forth the culture of underground punk. 
Billie grinned at me when an new song started, it must be one of his favorites. He was looking up at the stage much like I was. This was the most exciting thing about my new life. Seeing this sort of stuff I'm guessing isn't an everyday thing out on the streets unless your aware of this nifty little club. I could see that from here on out we'd be spending a lot of time here at Gilman as long as I and Billie are friends. And that will probably be until the blood in my brain kills me. Let's just hope that it's got a slow flow. I forced the thoughts of demise out of my head and cleared it. Making sure that I only concentrated on the beautiful show in front of me. I shared another laugh with Billie and turned my attention back to the stage to be enveloped in the sounds of all the instruments coming together, each beat adding up indefinitely to the final fall.
They closed up their show and left the room buzzing with conversations. 
“It's fun here right?” he grinned. Lacing his fingers in my hands across the table unconsciously. I looked down at them and then away before Billie could read the awe on my face for everything I'd seen in the last twenty minutes.
“Me and my band play here sometimes.” he said.
I looked up at him to ask him to continue.
“Sweet Children. You probably saw us yesterday.” he said warily with and smile.
I grinned and leaned back. Voiceless or not, when I'm around Billie it's like we two have an telepathic connection with each others brains. I guess that's pretty useful to an voiceless mute like me.
“Hey Two DollarBill.” called an man, approaching Billie from behind with an grin.
Billie turned to look up at the tall guy. He grinned too and shook hands. If I'm not mistaken, that's the guy that was just on stage with Operation Ivy. I smiled too but softer than Billie.
“What'd you doing here?” he asked standing there with his hands on his hips.
“Watching you preform. You kicked ass today.”
The tall guy snorted “Oh come on, Sweet Children would wrap Operation Ivy. You kids are too good.”
“Right... Kids.” Billie said warily.
“Ah, you know I'm just joking with ya. See ya around BJ.” he grinned, walking away.
Billie shook his head, still smiling from the encounter. “Lovely ain't he?”
I grinned too and nodded.
We spent the whole next hour there. Billie looked up at the big clock on the wall. 
“My mom gets off at three, want to go for an walk?” he asked.
I nodded. It's amazing how he treats me like I'm an normally functioning girl. Not the freak his mom found on the corner that hisses at doctors...
He helped me to my feet and we headed out the door into the sun again.
He led me down the wooden plank steps that led down onto the sprawling sandy beach. To the left, at least an hundred feet away it was infested with forest life. Tall trees and scraggily shrubs running thin out to the tide. It was really neat to see something like this in sunny California.
He hesitantly took my wrist and led me to the shoreline. The water glistened white in the sun. The underlining color was aqua and the seaweed was an pallor green. I knelt in the sand and extended an hand to touch the surface of the cool water. This was amazing. He crouched beside me and watched the water as well.
“Here, want to go walk in the trees?” he asked extending an hand to help me out of the sand.
Nodded and excepted his hand and he pulled me to my feet.
We treaded the sand until we reached the firm, packed dirt trails that wound under the thick canopy of trees. We walked it slowly, taking notice of everything in nature. Even though the air was quiet, if you listen closely you'll see the forest was teeming with summer life. Birds chirping above the canopy. Bees flying about pollinating flowers on berry bushes, shrubs and the dog woods that's flowers were beginning to die back, but were harvestable.
An crick, very thin, but productive. Flowed away from the ocean. Carrying salt water into Rodeo. A few lost fish were here and there. Swimming about through the reefs of algae and an fallen log that made an makeshit bridge to cross. Billie crossed halfway, then turned to offer me his hand to pull me along with him. But that may have also been his security so if he fell into the shallow creek, I'd come too. And anchor more likely. We crossed to the other side. Billie lifted and hand to brush an few tall stalks of cattails out of the way to clear the path. We continued on. The farther in we went, the more the forest life quieted. Like it was anticipating something. It became eerie almost. The trees and bushes got thicker, letting less light hit the forest floor. And what had started out as an warm, sunny and humid walk was now an bone chilling stroll. An eerie breeze rustled up the dead leafs on the ground. The breeze continued along the trail blowing in our faces. Raising the goosebumps on your arms. I rubbed my arms to be rid of them as the trail seemed to slope down. An puddle of ocean water drifted in and out, disappearing through an sunny gap in the webbed branches. We jumped it and climbed up the next slope. Which ended in an clearing. Billie looked around us at the countless dead ends.
“Let's go that way.” he said pointing to where the branches were their thickest. But I suppose I trust him pretty well to follow an stranger into the grave unknowns of the open wilderness outside of Rodeo.
It was very thick at first, and there was no trail here in existence. But then we found footing in an silver trail of shimmering grass  blades. The breeze coaxed them to weave back and forth. We walked over the grass and followed it to see where it went. The grass seemed to be an trail. Or an long forgotten trail that the grass just took over. We followed it anyways. Because who doesn't like an good adventure?
When we came to the end of the line, it was an little meadow. An tall, wide weeping willow took center attention. Tall stalks of various flowers peeked out from under it's twisted roots and an thin stream ribboned under an long thick root, like an doorway. Shiny pebbles lined the smooth river bank and in front of the willow was an thick patch of shiny green grass. Like an beckoning pillow.
I took an involuntary step away from Billie to get an better look at the teeming little world around me. 
I would have gotten all choked up and tripped over my words for the right ones to describe the way this place feels to me now. But I guess it's just better all together that I cannot speak to say the wrong things and ruin this moment.
Billie magically appeared behind me again. Like an silent ghost he watched my reaction with no emotion on his face. Only an somber mask that told me had had been here before. Maybe a long time ago but it still meant something to him today. And judging from the way he is watching my reaction, he wants to know if I love it here as much as he used to. Maybe he can again...
“Do you love it?” he asked quietly. Hovering over my left shoulder like an threatening murderer. But I couldn't fear him because I've faired much worse.
I turned to him with shimmering tears in my eyes. I nodded. So desperately wanted to say how much, but that may never be possible.
I bit my lip and took an half step toward him. Wrapped my thin pale arms around his spine and leaned against him. Feeling the warmth of the sun heat up my exposed cheek under an lock of black hair. He hesitantly wrapped his arms securely around my back and crushed me tightly in the hug. I'd probably stay here until my heart beats out of time and just hug him here in the sun. Here in the meadow. He rocked back and forth slowly. As we did so, something happened. A sharp pain in my head. Like a sudden headache. Giving me this feeling in my head. Like something snapped and I see something. An vision flashing before my eyes. Bright and colorful and I fear it. I raised an hand from Billie's back and clutched tightly at my head as the pain echoed. I didn't hear him until the pain drifted away that he was steadying me. Saying “Whatsername? Are you all right? Whatsername.” with genuine concern. His voice buzzed in me head until I finally got my bearings and shook my head of the vision. It was something... I just couldn't make it out.
“Are you ok?” he whispered. Holding me upright otherwise I probably would have slouched and collapsed onto the ground. I pulled back to see his face. I nodded once stiffly. Then shook my head to assure him that I was fine.
He relaxed his face “Ok.”
I nodded one more time before leading him under the willow and sitting down at the trunk. He followed and stretched out while I sat crossed legged.
He hesitantly wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me next to him so I rested my head against his chest. Not much conversation would pass between us when I cannot speak, but the quietness was just fine.
I closed my eyes and the sun warmed my eyelids. The more time that passed, the less distant I felt to myself. Like I was becoming someone worthy of love and hate and life.
Here in the meadow, it was easy to forget that I may or may not have someone out there who is missing me. Wondering where I am. If I never came home and I became someone else entirely. I don't even know if they exist out there somewhere. But I think I've learned now that having someone to worry about you all the time isn't the most important thing ever. I seem to be fairing fine.
The sun hovered over head and I felt like we were coming to the end of being here. We'd need to be home when Ollie got back.
“Yesterday was our somethingish gig. I've lost count." Billie said quietly.
I looked up at him.
“And I'm glad you could attend Whatsername. Now we just need to get out there a little more besides playing at Rod's Hickory Pit.” he laughed shortly. I grinned at him as my best encouragement that he will be just fine. He and his band will succeed and be playing stadiums in no time flat. I believed in him that much. I just hope I'll live to see it.
“My mom will probably be home soon.” he said unwillingly.
“But I don't want to go. I love it here.” he said softly.
I smiled one more time and enjoyed the remainder of the time we had left here. No matter how much you love it here, you'll have to leave eventually. Just not right now.