A Case of Unknown Identity

“This milk is frozen,” Gerard says looking at his milk container angrily.

“Oh come on it’s not that bad,” Frank answers.

“No! Like it’s legit frozen!” He open the carton wide, holds it upside down, and a milk colored block of ice falls onto the table with clack.

“Wow, it’s actually frozen,” Brendon says looking truly interested.

“I told you!”

“Okay, I knew school lunch was bad but I never thought they’d serve milk-sicle’s,” Frank says, looking at the rectangular ice on the table.

Frank sighs, and taps his fingers quietly on the hard surface, but he’s lost in thought again. Last night had been one of the greatest of his life, that’s for sure, but now he’s torn up over the whole Lucas dilemma. He still doesn’t know how much the guy knows, if anything at all.

He stares down at his fingers absently. He’d had to borrow a pair of gloves from Gerard, with skeleton patterns on them, because there was bruising on his knuckle from where he hit Lucas.

Frank’s still confused where the adrenaline he had yesterday even came from. He’s not normally violent. He’s not exactly a monk or anything but he doesn’t go around beating the shit out of people like Lucas does. Maybe that kid has permanently bruised knuckles. Wouldn’t that be a good signal to his parents or teachers that he’s a bully?

“Hey loverboy, lost in thought again?” Mikey says pushing Frank in his seat. He turns to look at Mikey right beside him and shrugs.

“Dunno man,” He answers, “that milk is really blowing my mind.”

Gerard snorts then looks at the milk again, which he’d put back into the carton so it didn’t melt all over the table.

“Because that’s what’s really important here, isn’t it? Glacial dairy products,” Brendon points out.

“What’s really on your mind?” Gerard asks.

“Nothing it’s just,” Frank sighs, “I don’t know. What Lucas sad yesterday is kind of scary. What if he knows?”

“Knows about you and Gerard?” Pete asks, looking confused.

“Exactly! What if he knows and he’s going to use that against us?”

“How would he do that?”

“I’m not really trying to plot out the details, okay? I just know that he’s not going to be happy about me punching him,” Frank answers.

“Speak of the devil,” Mikey says, pointing to the entrance to the cafeteria where a blond boy with a black eye walks between the tables, followed by his meat-brained sidekick. He’s headed straight for their table.

“Oh joy,” Frank says looking anxious.

“So I see you and your faggot friends are still here,” Lucas says approaching the table with an air of intimidation surrounding him, even with his shiner.

“Well no, we decided to burst into atoms by the mere thought of you,” Gerard answers, derisively.

Lucas spits back in the same tone, “Nice to see you haven’t lost your wit in the midst of such idiocy.”

“Don’t speak about my friends like that,” Gerard answers, not looking at Lucas.

“Don’t tell me you’re actually going to stick up for them?”

“They’re my friends, why shouldn’t I?” He continues, still not looking at Lucas.

“And boyfriend,” Frank manages to say, though it’s terrifying to actually speak the words out loud. Gerard looks at him surprised but Frank raises his eyebrows with confidence of some sort, which he’s no at all sure he will ever be able to muster ever again. He feels like an ant compared to Lucas.

“You’re actually...?” Lucas asks and the look on his face is of complete disgust.

“Yeah,” Gerard answers smiling at Frank, “yeah, didn’t expect that did you? Plot twist on your little scheme? The loser boy isn’t supposed to be in love, but, hey, shit happens.”

“That’s revolting.”

Frank wants to say, ‘you’re revolting,’ but he decides against it.

Gerard certainly doesn’t have such trepidation, “And what makes you say that?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know that’s sick.”

“Not everyone in the world is a prick like you Lucas,” Gerard replies, turning to look at Lucas for the first time.

“Oh, but I’m not the only one who recognizes the repulsion in your little relationship.”

Frank grits his teeth, “Just because you’re a bigot doesn’t mean that everyone else is. It’s the 21st century. So many things that people thought would never happen are normal now. Woman can vote, and we have interracial couples! What makes gay rights any different than that?”

“You’re under the impression that there’s people who care about you, which there aren’t. No one cares.”

Gerard stands up and stares Lucas down even though they’re roughly the same height.

“Fine than, Lucas. If I’m so wrong, and ungodly, then hit me,” Gerard dares, “hit me! Go on. I know you’re not afraid to! Just punch me, and show me how wrong I am.”

Lucas looks uncertain, “What point are you trying to prove?”

“I’m trying to prove that people care, and if you don’t believe me, than punch me in the face,” he answers coolly.

“How many people do you think care?” Lucas asks exasperatedly. He turns to Trevor to see the pride glowing on both their faces at the lack of a response. Lucas is under the impression that he’s apparently winning whatever argument they’re having.

“I care!” Gerard says.

“One person, wow. How terrifying.”

“I care,” Frank says, standing up looking at Lucas.

“Look at that Gerard you just doubled your army,” Lucas snorts.

“I care,” Brendon whispers, and looks at Mikey who nods in agreement. Mikey’s encouragement is enough to make them both stand up and look at Lucas.

“We care,” they say together.

Frank feels himself smile at that, and watches Ray stand up beside Mikey and repeat the words. Lucas looks surprised at the five boys standing and looking directly at him and his cohort. Gerard raises and eyebrow as if to say, ‘told you so.’

“Your little friends? That means nothing to me, Gerard. Five is inconsequential.”

“Six,” Patrick adds, standing up.

“Seven,” Pete corrects.

Lucas looks murderous and he says, loudly, a little too loudly, “You don’t get it do you? No one cares about your gay agenda. No one cares if you’re happy with your sin. No one cares!”

“And I’m telling you that you’re wrong. You’re the one who doesn’t get it!” Gerard shouts back, and they’re starting to get the attention of the entire cafeteria, “People are not that judgmental. People care!”

“Who!” Lucas screams back, “Who? You and your demented posse?”

A girl, that Frank has never seen nor spoken to before stands up and says, “I care.”

Another girl does the same, and then a boy, then two girls, then two boys. More and more people stand up and look at Lucas. Everyone either sick of Lucas’ bullying, or just plain fed up with people like him.

Frank looks around the room at the faces he recognizes and some he doesn’t. His old table mates, Alex, Jack, Rian and Zach. Pete’s friends, Andy and Joe. The kid with the scarves that Brendon would so turn gay for, Ryan. Several dozen more people as well, that Frank doesn’t know, and it’s the most gratifying thing he’s ever seen in the world. People do care. Everyone on their feet cares, and that’s amazing.

“People care, Lucas. You’re the anomaly. Not me,” Gerard says, grinning.

Lucas looks uncomfortable but maintains his prideful composure, “Whatever. You and your little boyfriend mean nothing to me.”

He turns to walk away but Frank starts before he’s out of earshot, “At least we love each other though. Who on earth do you think would actually care about you? It’s hard to love something that is only capable of hate.”

“Is that what you’re calling logic nowadays? Hate?”

“No. Logic is the ability to rationalize that other peoples happiness doesn’t have to affect your own. Logic is the understanding that you can be happy without being mean. You only hate, Lucas, and that’s what gives you such a detrimental cavity in the war against ignorance.”

“Happiness sprung from hate is not happiness at all,” Frank adds.

Lucas says nothing, he just stares at Frank and Gerard whose eyes are locked on each other’s gaze. After a minute he walks away to the applause of a few people around them. Lucas isn’t going to go away forever, and they both know that. He’ll always be there to try and rain on their parade, but he has no power over them, and that’s what’s different.

They’re both aware of everyone’s eyes on their table but Gerard and Frank are the only two people in the room right now.

Frank looks at his boyfriend.

He looks at Watchman.

And at Theodore.

But most of all, he looks at Gerard.

The boy who makes him feel like he’s flying. Lucas may be a dick, but he will never stop Frank from loving Gerard. Lucas has now power over popular opinion either.

Gerard is what he wants. Gerard is the person that makes Frank feel like he’s the best person he can be.

Seeing Gerard, or being near him is always the best part of his day, and his days are usually pretty shitty, but that boy makes him happy. He’s probably the only things that never fails to make him happy. His love for Gerard is nothing short of magical.

It’s not perfect and he knows it’s not perfect, because there will always be people who tell them no, but it is, at least, pretty damn close.