Never Tear Us Apart

His fingers ached for the bottle. It had only been one day but the demons inside him were tearing him apart with pain and desire. Lifting his head he saw the slimline bottle within arms-reach. Surely one drink wouldn’t be too bad, one drink wouldn’t cause him to lose the small amount of self-control he had. Slowly straightening himself in his seat he ran his tongue over his bottom lips slowly as the voices inside coaxed him sweetly to grab the bottle and take a sip. With fumbling fingers the once superstar unscrewed the lid on vodka bottle before pressing the glass rim to his lips and taking a large gulp of the bitter liquid. Sighing relieved Zayn Malik sat back on his couch as the demons inside him ceased their movements, the pain vanishing almost instantly with the small hit. Zayn knew that it would be best for him if he put the bottle away however he couldn’t bring himself to part with it.

Since split with One Direction Zayn was swallowed into a deeper state of drinking, he had gone past the point of no return he lived and breathed alcohol. For the past two years he would wake up in the morning and be sucking on a bottle until he went to bed or passed out on the couch. His addiction started with the stress of management, the constant touring, interviews, and control that he and the others had no control over. The other four had been able to handle it but Zayn found it hard. The young man from Bradford had always liked his solace, his alone time, a moment to breathe and collect his thoughts, but the longer One Direction went on the harder it was to find these moments resulting in his stress.

The singer had found peace in other things, but his main two were drugs and alcohol. Zayn was always in a constant haze when he had a moment break doped up on a combination of weed and whiskey. Perrie his fiancé at the time stood by him through it all. That was until his life at home began to revolve around drugs and alcohol the blonde couldn’t handle it she tried on several occasions to break Zayn’s habit but this only ended in a screaming match between the two and more than often a broken ornament or dish.
Perrie spent several months watching the man she loved deteriorate, she watched as Zayn, a young man once full of life and love, became emotionless. The love Perrie had for the once superstar faded away as she watched him throw away his life hurling himself into a life of solitude. So it was only a matter of time before the blonde packed up and left however the raven haired singer didn’t see it coming so when he came home to find the blondes suitcases packed by the backdoor while she hurried through the house grabbing the last few items she needed.

Zayn had begged with her to stay swearing that he would change, he would give up the drugs, stop drinking and get himself back on track but everything he said fell in deaf ears. Perrie had lost her trust in him and the love that once burned between them had faded and fizzled out completely. Perrie had left leaving Zayn with a simple goodbye and bittersweet kiss before vanishing in a black cab car with everything that would remind him of her.

With the loss of the love of his life Zayn spiraled downhill quickly, his usage of drugs became dangerous not only because of the dosage sizes but the concoctions he created with an array of pills and the complementary bottle of booze. The singer was swallowed into a deep state of depression and had on several occasions tried to end his life but had always been pulled out of it by a phone call from one of the boys, a surprise visitor or something else that would pull his mind away from the desires.

“Zayn!” a female voice called through the darkness of his home. Zayn’s eyes drifted over to the entrance of the living room where he sat the bottle still cradled in his arm, quickly he tucked it into the crevice of the chair he was sitting in before straightening up slightly. He listened to the quick clicking of heels on his tiled floor before scuffing on the carpet that led into where he was positioned.

“Lena,” Zayn smiled when he saw the brown haired girl appear in the doorway. He noticed that she had a concerned look on her face but he simply smiled before speaking again, “Come here, I’ve missed you.”

“Have you been drinking?” Lena sighed folding her arms across her chest her hazel coloured eyes scanning over him.

“No…” he lied, but ruined it when a chuckle burst from his lips. Lena sighed as she walked over to the male, “Helena please,” he began as the young woman leant over the him and began to feel around the chair for the bottle she knew he had hidden from her.

“Aha,” grasping the clear bottle she ripped it out of the chair, a sigh left Zayn’s lips as his head fell back and his eyes closed in disappointment. “You said you were going to stop.”

“Lena it’s not that easy.”

“I know it’s not Zayn but you’re not helping yourself with all this secretly stashed grog!” she pointed out sharply, “how many more are there?” she asked her tone serious.

“None.”

Lena didn’t believe the singer, grabbing his chin she forced his head forward, his eyes snapped open caught by surprise at the girls force, “Look me in the eyes and tell me there is no more.”

“There’s no more!” Zayn growled hotly his dark eyes locking with hers. Satisfied Lena pulled away from the male turned and walked out of the room. “Lena…” Zayn called but there was no answer. “Lena what are you doing?” he questioned getting to his feet, even though he wobbled. Zayn staggered out of the lounge room and into the kitchen, “HELENA!” he yelled racing over to the female who was silently pouring the last of his alcohol down the kitchen sink. Quickly he shoved the girl away from the sink snatching his bottle back and sculling the last remnants as quickly as he could.

“Zayn I am trying to help you!” she emphasized.

“Well don’t! I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone’s help. Jesus Lena, you’re as bad as the boys! Just leave me alone.”

“No! I will not just leave you alone, we’re doing this because we care Zayn, you need to stop being so selfish and see that.”

“Selfish? how the fuck is this being selfish it has nothing to do with you or the guys.” Lena had tried to remain calm and collected about everything that Zayn was carrying on about but this was the straw that broke the camels back and she let fly.

SMACK

Lena didn’t realize she had hit Zayn until she noticed the red hand mark that began to appear across his cheek. Zayn had been caught by surprise at her hit leaving him startled and slightly dazed.

“How dare you! How dare you say this has nothing to do with us, especially the guys. Zayn if it wasn’t for them you would be six feet under in a fucking wooden box. Who found you when you OD’ed, who rushed you to the hospital who fucking sat with you the whole night even when they were told to leave. Don’t you dare say this has nothing to do with the guys, as for me? I am your best friend, your best fucking friend, do I not account for anything? Who was there for you when Perrie left? And who has been with you through thick and thin, through everything you have put them through?” there was silence, “ME! I have I was the one you called as soon as Perrie left, I was the one who dropped everything just to go over and make sure you were okay. I was the one who had to and still has to deal with most of your shit! Because your mother can’t, she physically can’t Zayn she is so fucking heart broken that seeing you and the state you’re in makes her sick with grief.” Lena stopped talking choking on a sob and wiping the tears from his cheeks. “So I am not going to leave you alone, I am not going to abandon you like you so desperately want me to do. No I am staying right here and I am going to help you through this if it is the last thing I fucking do. As for you, Mister Malik, you are going to try to fucking help yourself.”

Lena’s out burst had caused Zayn to became a mixture of emotions, heartbroken, angry, pissed off at himself, pissed off at the fact that he has hurt not only his friends but he has caused his mother to become sick.

“So I am coming back tomorrow and so help me god if you have another bottle of booze I will smash it over your head!” with that the brunette turned and walked out of Zayn’s home slamming the door behind her and getting into her car as she swallowed her tears and emotions putting on a brave face even though she wanted to break down and cry.