Family Portrait.
You can't hear me cry.
She stepped in to the small shower cubical feeling vulnerable she glared down at her exposed flesh for a few seconds hate and disgust making her blood boil, she felt dirty carrying the weight of her secret on her shoulders, she turned the shower on the steaming jet stream flecking her skin with small red marks,
"They don't make water hot enough"
She mumbled to herself as she allowed a few small tears to fall she spent the next 45 minutes scrubbing herself raw until her skin couldn't take anymore, she felt ashamed by her weak pain threshold she had more tattoos than she could count spending hours being prodded with needles for the sake of vanity but couldn't take a few minutes of scrubbing for the sake of her sanity, she sat on the floor and pulled herself in taking a few deep breaths before switching the shower off and stepping out of the cubicle,
"Merle! Lilys in there!"
The catch on the door clicked her heart raced as it swung open, she clutched the towel to her small frame breathing rapidly as he stood staring at her with a twisted grimace on his haggard face
"Oh sorry darlin'" His voice suddenly dropped to a whisper "Just had to see it again"
He winked and left the room proud at himself for asserting his hold over her He flopped down on to the sofa next to his baby brother,
"Youre a lucky man Daryl, she is smokin'"
"You're disgusting"
Night fell quicker than expected, Daryl watched Lily as she curled on the sofa tucked neatly in to one corner wearing his t-shirt and lounge pants, he loved just watching her watching her nose screw up in concentration watching her mouth turn up slightly as she was trying not to laugh at one of his stupid puns, his favorite time to sit and watch was when she was sleeping, in the dead of night when she was lost in the realm of her dreams he lay awake next to her taking every inch of her in, from her long wavy hair to her neatly pedicured toes, he could honestly say there wasn't an inch of that girl that he didn't adore, even more so now that she was carrying his child, a tiny little being to love him forever.
She stared forward aware that Merle was only a few inches away from her, it was hard not to be close to someone in the trailer, cosy she called it she refused to call it small it made her feel claustrophobic, her body still ached her back throbbing from being thrown to the floor her stomach burned and her hips where grinding painfully each time she moved,
"Lily?...Lily? you in there baby?"
She wasn't sure how long Daryl had been calling her but she turned to face him acknowledging he was there, he looked nervous, did he know? she didn't tell him she made sure she hadn't did Merle twist things? made it sound like she came on to him?
"I've loved you for a long time baby you know that and you've come so far from the pretty little thing that ambushed me at he gas station, but there's something I've gotta know Lily will you be my wife?"
She looked at his hopeful face bile rushing up to her throat the familiar sting of tears hit her eyes,
"No...No I can't"
She rose and left the room abruptly with out saying another word, Merles gruff laugh filled the silence,
"Oh well Darylina you tried"
"whatever"
he stood on the rickety porch of the trailer inhaling deeply from a cigarette before flicking it off in to the distance and punching the metallic side of his home, He marched in to the small shared bedroom and closed the door behind him making Lily jump and look straight at him,
"What then? what do you want from me?!"
He demanded
"Nothing Daryl now just aint the time for a proposal not with him around"
"So you want a bastard baby?"
"No not at all I want Merle out of the picture"
"He aint going any where hes my brother! If any ones goin its you!"
His breath caught in his throat as he realised the depth of the words that had just escaped him, he glanced over at her fractured expression
"I gotta go"
He turned and left the room quickly her heart fell in to her stomach she jumped up to stop him
"No Daryl please don't go, I need you here"
"Why? you dont wanna marry me why all the sudden objections?"
"Please Daryl stay"
He shook her off and kept walking without looking back he climbed on his bike the engine roared to life and he tore away, she could do nothing but stand and watch as he left her alone, she stood staring at the road waiting for him to turn and come back but as the sound of his engine faded in to the distance it was abundantly clear he wasn't coming back for a while.
"They don't make water hot enough"
She mumbled to herself as she allowed a few small tears to fall she spent the next 45 minutes scrubbing herself raw until her skin couldn't take anymore, she felt ashamed by her weak pain threshold she had more tattoos than she could count spending hours being prodded with needles for the sake of vanity but couldn't take a few minutes of scrubbing for the sake of her sanity, she sat on the floor and pulled herself in taking a few deep breaths before switching the shower off and stepping out of the cubicle,
"Merle! Lilys in there!"
The catch on the door clicked her heart raced as it swung open, she clutched the towel to her small frame breathing rapidly as he stood staring at her with a twisted grimace on his haggard face
"Oh sorry darlin'" His voice suddenly dropped to a whisper "Just had to see it again"
He winked and left the room proud at himself for asserting his hold over her He flopped down on to the sofa next to his baby brother,
"Youre a lucky man Daryl, she is smokin'"
"You're disgusting"
Night fell quicker than expected, Daryl watched Lily as she curled on the sofa tucked neatly in to one corner wearing his t-shirt and lounge pants, he loved just watching her watching her nose screw up in concentration watching her mouth turn up slightly as she was trying not to laugh at one of his stupid puns, his favorite time to sit and watch was when she was sleeping, in the dead of night when she was lost in the realm of her dreams he lay awake next to her taking every inch of her in, from her long wavy hair to her neatly pedicured toes, he could honestly say there wasn't an inch of that girl that he didn't adore, even more so now that she was carrying his child, a tiny little being to love him forever.
She stared forward aware that Merle was only a few inches away from her, it was hard not to be close to someone in the trailer, cosy she called it she refused to call it small it made her feel claustrophobic, her body still ached her back throbbing from being thrown to the floor her stomach burned and her hips where grinding painfully each time she moved,
"Lily?...Lily? you in there baby?"
She wasn't sure how long Daryl had been calling her but she turned to face him acknowledging he was there, he looked nervous, did he know? she didn't tell him she made sure she hadn't did Merle twist things? made it sound like she came on to him?
"I've loved you for a long time baby you know that and you've come so far from the pretty little thing that ambushed me at he gas station, but there's something I've gotta know Lily will you be my wife?"
She looked at his hopeful face bile rushing up to her throat the familiar sting of tears hit her eyes,
"No...No I can't"
She rose and left the room abruptly with out saying another word, Merles gruff laugh filled the silence,
"Oh well Darylina you tried"
"whatever"
he stood on the rickety porch of the trailer inhaling deeply from a cigarette before flicking it off in to the distance and punching the metallic side of his home, He marched in to the small shared bedroom and closed the door behind him making Lily jump and look straight at him,
"What then? what do you want from me?!"
He demanded
"Nothing Daryl now just aint the time for a proposal not with him around"
"So you want a bastard baby?"
"No not at all I want Merle out of the picture"
"He aint going any where hes my brother! If any ones goin its you!"
His breath caught in his throat as he realised the depth of the words that had just escaped him, he glanced over at her fractured expression
"I gotta go"
He turned and left the room quickly her heart fell in to her stomach she jumped up to stop him
"No Daryl please don't go, I need you here"
"Why? you dont wanna marry me why all the sudden objections?"
"Please Daryl stay"
He shook her off and kept walking without looking back he climbed on his bike the engine roared to life and he tore away, she could do nothing but stand and watch as he left her alone, she stood staring at the road waiting for him to turn and come back but as the sound of his engine faded in to the distance it was abundantly clear he wasn't coming back for a while.