But We Were so Perfect

I stared at nothing as I was too busy thinking about Nixon. I was out on my balcony with my head in my hands as I leaned on the railing. I sighed and and rubbed my temples. I don't even know what to think right now.

Suddenly there was a tap on my shoulder. I quickly turned my head and was surprised to see John there. "Hey man, you look pretty rough" he said "what happened what's wrong?" I shook my head and placed my forehead on my shoulder.

"I fucked up." I mumbled.

"With what?"

"Nixon."

"What happened?" I was silent for a moment. I didn't even want to say it.

"He walked in on me and micheal in bed." He suddenly grabbed my shoulders and and pushed me at arms length away from him. His eyes were wide and his jaw was slack.

"Are you serious?!" I just looked at him.

"How did this happen!? What were you thinking?!"

"I WASNT! We went out to a club last night and then..." I sighed and pressed the heel of my hands into my eyes until I was seeing crazy flashes of lights.

"What are you doing to do?" He was almost calm now.
dream."

"I don't fucking know." I said "what is there that I can do? He probably fucking hates me and won't want to see me anymore."

"That's you're own problem." John said and i glared at him. He is being very helpful. "Ok, you were together for 5 years, you probably know him better than anyone else." I nodded.

"What is something that you could do to make it up to him?" Suddenly his phone went off and he picked it up and read the text.

"I have to go, man my mom needs me to help her and my dad move to a different house." I nodded and walked him to the door.

"Fix it." He said as he slipped through the door. Now I'm alone...

I didn't have work today so I decided to just sit on the couch and think of ways to talk to Nixon.
--
**nixon

I woke up to an arm over my shoulder. I started to panic and looked around the room. It was my room. I looked behind me and saw Jaime sleeping soundly, his arm draped over my shoulder. We were both clothed and then I sighed in relief when I remembered that he was just comforting me last night before we both fell asleep.

I lifted his arm carefully and set it on the bed. I slowly got out of my bed and walked to the bathroom and quickly stripped before stepping into the shower. I didn't even need to shower, I just wanted a quiet, calming place to think and wallow.

I saw down under the stream of hot water and held my knees close to me and rested my chin on them. I held my left hand out and looked at the engagement ring that I haven't taken off since Danny put it on me.

I slipped the ring off and fiddled with it in my fingers. Now that I think of it, Danny didn't have his on when I caught him yesterday. Tears started pouring down my face and joined the stream of water and was carried away down my body and to the drain. I wish I could be like those tears, just quickly slip away and never come back.