Suffocated

Chapter 4
Romance & Hatred
Finally, the day of the dance was here. My mom dropped me off at Valary's so her & her sister, Michelle could do my hair. Michelle was going, too, but she was going with Brian. Jimmy & Johnny were going to hang out together later.
"Prom's are overrated." In the words of Jimmy.
"So what color is your dress?" I asked Michelle.
"Red." she smiled.
"Like Matt's suit, Brian's has colored accents, too." Valary said, curling my hair with her curling iron.
"Brian also has a surprise for all of us, too." Michelle smiled as she put did my eyeliner.
"What is it?" Valary & I asked her in unison.
"Well, it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you. Besides, I don't know anyway. You know he wouldn't tell me in fear of me telling you two." After Michelle finished my make up & Valary did my hair, they finished doing their make up & their hair.
"Hey, have fun tonight. Please come home safe." Johnny texted me.
"Thanks, Johnny. I'll be fine. I won't be out too late." I texted back with a small smile. About 45 minutes later, we all heard a knock at the door.
"Ready girls?" Valary looked at both me & Michelle.
"Let's do this!" I smiled, checking my hair a final time in the mirror. Michelle & Valary's mom answered the door & called up the stairs for us.
"We're coming down." Valary shouted back. Valary went first, then Michelle, & I went last. As I walked down the stairs, my heart started racing as I saw Zacky waiting for me, standing beside Matt & Brian. His eyes got really big & a huge smile spread across his face. Zack looked so handsome in his black suit with his green tie & green vest. His black hair was combed back neatly & he was actually wearing black dress shoes instead of his usual red & black Converse. When I finally was standing in front of him, he whispered, "You look absolutely amazing."
"Thanks." I blushed as he put my emerald green corsage on my wrist.
"Now, are you all ready to see my big surprise I have for us all?" Brian asked us.
"Not before I take some pictures." Michelle & Val's mom said, breaking out her camera. We posed for some pictures. Some of us standing individually, some of us as one couple, & then some of all three of us couples together.
"Now, can we go mom?" Michelle whined, playfully.
"Have fun, kids. Be safe." she said, hugging all of us.
"Thanks, Mrs. DiBenedetto." I smiled, giving her a last hug before we walked out.
"Taylor, you can call me Debbie. You're like a daughter to me & a sister to the girls. Love all you, kids." We all walked outside, arms linked with our dates & our jaw's dropped. Brian had somehow gotten us a black limousine.
"Ya like?" he asked us, opening the back door we could get all get in.
"Dude, this is awesome." I smiled as Zack followed me into the backseat. Matt & Valary sat on the side seat, Brian & Michelle sat more towards the back, & Zacky & I sat in the seat across from Brian & Michelle.
"My dad hooked us up with this." Brian smiled.
"Is that...is that champagne?" I asked him.
"Ha ha ha. No, actually. It's non alcoholic wine. My dad thought it'd be a nice touch since we aren't legal to drink yet." Brian laughed, grabbing some glasses from under his seat. He gave us all a glass & poured some wine for us all.
"Here's a toast to us. This Senior year has been amazing & awful at the same time. We definitely have made some great memories we can look back on years from now. I'm glad I get to share this night with my beautiful girlfriend & my awesome friends. Cheers, guys." We all clinked glasses & sipped our wine. On the way to the prom, we laughed & talked like all best friends do. Then I noticed Zacky was leaning back in his seat, just staring at me.
"What?" I asked him, confused.
"Nothing. Nothing at all." he grinned, putting his arm around me which made me blush.
"I believe we have arrived ladies & gentlemen." Brian announced as he opened the door. We all climbed out as the other people standing around outside waiting to get in ooh'd & aah'd around us.
"Rackam! Hey, man. What's up?" Matt greeted Cam as he walked over with his date.
"I thought you weren't coming." I asked him.
"I wasn't planning on it, but my girlfriend practically begged me." Cam said, putting his arm around the skinny blonde chick he was with. We stood there talking for a few minutes before they finally started letting people in.
"Come on, beautiful." Zack winked at me as he led me inside by the hand. I followed him & the others soon came after. Once we were all inside the gym, we found a table to sit at.
"Do you want some punch or something?" Zacky asked me.
"Yeah, sure. That'd be great." I grinned at him. Valary & Michelle just looked at Matt & Brian.
"Okay. I suppose we'll go too." Brian sighed, nudging Michelle playfully.
"I'll be right back, babe." Matt told Valary as he stood up with Brian & kissed her forehead.
"The place looks really great, doesn't it?" Michelle said, looking around.
"Yeah. I agree." I grinned, looking over at Zack. He was talking to the guys & they were laughing, having a good time. I could feel my heart racing & my face getting red from blushing. When they walked back over, Zack handed me my cup of punch & sat down next to me.
"Where'd Cam go?" Zacky asked everyone.
"I'm sure he's around here somewhere." Brian sighed, sitting down beside Michelle. Once again, we were all sitting at our table, just talking when people started dancing. One by one, everyone got up. First it was Matt & Valary, then Brian & Michelle. I didn't think anything of it until I heard him start talking to me.
"Do you wanna dance?" Zacky asked me
"I'd love to." I grinned, looking over at him. He stood up & held out his hand to me.
"Madame?" I took his hand, blushing like crazy & we walked out to the dance floor together. They were playing some stupid rap songs so we went over to where Matt, Valary, Brian & Michelle were dancing. They played a few more rap songs & then they played a slow one. Everyone started dancing with their date, but Zacky & I just stood & stared at each other for a few seconds. He took my hand in his & I put my other hand around his waist. We were a little far apart until all of a sudden I felt someone push me into Zacky bringing us closer together. I turned around & Brian was looking around whistling.
"Oh, hi there." he waved. Turning back to Zacky, I noticed he was grinning. A lot. I rested my head on his shoulder & we danced around & around the floor.
"I don't know about you, but I'm having a great time." he whispered in my ear. Feeling his hot breath on my ear made my heart beat faster. I held him closer, tighter & I could feel him do the same to me. After we slow danced, I walked back to the table to sit down, Zacky following me. Everyone just stared at us.
"What?" we said in unison.
"You two are just too cute together." Valary laughed, getting her camera out of her purse & snapping a picture of Zacky & I smiling. I sipped some more punch & looked around the room, enjoying the scenery when Zacky stood up.
"Hey, Matt, Brian. Let's go find Rackam."
"Sounds good. We'll be right back, ladies." Brian said, kissing Michelle's forehead before they walked away. I turned around & they were talked amongst each other. Zacky was acting a little nervous. Matt was nodding with a smile & Brian patted Zacky's back, proudly.
"What are they really up to?" I asked Valary & Michelle.
"I was just thinking the same thing." Michelle laughed, sipping her punch.
"Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be really sweet." Valary grinned.
"Or they're planning to get into trouble. They're going to find Rackam. That's never a good idea. Ha ha ha." I said.
"She's right." Michelle added.
"Well, come on. I think I need to go fix my make up." Valary sighed, standing up. We followed her to the bathroom & we were fixing our make up in the mirror when Valary got a text.
"Oh my god." Valary chuckled.
"What?" Michelle asked her, fixing her eye liner.
"Rackam was kicked out for trying to spike the punch." Val said.
"Wow. Well, that's Rackam for ya." I chuckled, fixing my hair.
"So do you think he'll kiss you tonight?" Val asked me.
"What? Why?" I replied, confused.
"Hello? You're his date. Not to mention, he likes you. He's practically been drooling over you all night." Michelle said, looking over at me.
"No. I'm not kissing him. I can't."
"Why?" they both asked me at the same time.
"Johnny. Duh. Do you know what Johnny would do if he found out?"
"He'll get over it." Valary shrugged.
"Everyone always says that. He doesn't & he won't. I don't think he can." I sighed, looking at the floor.
"Don't let Johnny get in the way of you being happy." Valary told me, pulling me in for a hug & Michelle joining in. I couldn't help, but smile a little bit. When we walked back out to our table, the guys were talking & laughing. I sat down next to Zack as he put his arm around me. I looked over at him & he just winked. Prom was almost over & it was getting closer & closer to being time to vote for a prom king & queen. When the current song was over, the DJ made an announcement.
"Hope everyone's having a good time out there. This next song is dedicated to Taylor Seward from Zacky Baker." Thunder by Boys Like Girls started playing.
"Come on." he grinned, taking my hand & leading me to the middle of the floor. I could feel my face turning bright red.
"Do you always blush this much?" he asked me, taking my hand & putting his other hand on my waist.
"No. It's just when I'm around you." I chuckled.
"You mean a lot to me, Taylor." he whispered.
"I know. You mean a lot to me, too, Zack. This is really sweet of you to do."
"I know it is. I just wanted to see your face turn red again. It's cute when you blush."
"You're silly. It's not cute." I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"I think so." he grinned, pulling me closer. His face was inches away from mine. I suddenly had forgotten to breathe as he was looking into my eyes. His green eyes seemed to penetrate my very soul.
"Taylor, can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"Will you-" But then the song ended & the principal got up on stage to announce the king & queen. Zacky & I walked back to our table where the other's were just sitting down.
"Do you guys wanna get out of here? I don't know about all of you, but I couldn't give a shit less about who the king & queen is. Tonight, we're the kings & queens." Brian said.
"I'm with Brian." Matt agreed. We all headed out to the limousine & decided to go to get some milkshakes at Steak'N'Shake. Once we were inside, we all piled into a booth except for Matt & Valary who sat on a couple chairs beside our table.
"So what are you gonna get?" Zack asked me, looking over his menu.
"I'm getting a chocolate & Strawberry milkshake. I could go through about 2 or 3 of these things."
"Ha ha ha They are pretty good. You wanna share one?"
"Yeah, sure." I grinned, scooting closer to him. He took notice & leaned back in his seat, resting his arm on the ledge above our seat. When we got our shakes, Zack stuck 2 straws in our glass & we started sipping it. Valary couldn't help, but to snap a picture of us. She took some more pictures of Brian & Michelle & her and Matt, too. We stayed out for a few more hours & then we started heading home. We dropped off Matt & Val first, then we started heading towards my house. As I got out of the car, Brian whispered something into Zacky's ear. He just grinned & nodded. Zacky walked me up to my door & we stood there for a few seconds before either of us said anything.
"I had a great time tonight." I grinned.
"Me, too. I'm glad you came with me. This was a really great night." he said, putting his hands in his pockets & leaning against the door frame.
"Well, I should probably go inside. I'm pretty tired."
"Taylor, wait." he stopped me. I turned my head to face him. He stood there in front of me, nervous as hell. Then he leaned over & kissed me. I wanted to push him off, but I couldn't. I wanted this. For a while. Then...
"Zack, stop. I can't do this."
"Let me guess. Johnny?" he sighed, looking at the floor.
"I'm really sorry. I've been dying to kiss you tonight, but I..." my voice trailed off.
"Taylor, forget him. I know he's your little brother, but he's got to let go."
"I'm sorry. I have to go." I said as tears started forming in my eyes.
"Taylor, wait." he tried stopping me again, but I'd already closed the door.
"Damn it, Johnny!" I heard him yell as he walked out the car. I couldn't help but burst into tears & collapse on the floor. Johnny must've heard the ruckus because he ran down the stairs & helped me off the floor.
"What happened? Are you okay?" he asked me.
"Fuck off, Johnny. Ugh I fucking hate you!" I screamed as I ran up the stairs & slammed my door shut. I heard footsteps walk up the stairs & a light knock on my door.
"What?" I growled, lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling.
"What happened?" he asked me, quietly.
"I can't be fucking happy because you can't fucking let go. Do you know how many people have fucking told me to forget you & that you'll just get over it? But you won't. You can't seem to let go."
"Taylor, I'm sorry. I just want you to be safe."
"Johnny, you're 15. I'm 18. Worry about your damn self. Leave me the fuck alone."
"What if I can't? I love you, Taylor. You're my big sister. You're one of my best friends."
"Just get out. Just leave me alone." I screamed, standing up & pushing him out of my room. There was silence & then I heard his bedroom door shut. I put my back against the door & slid down it, bursting into tears again. I'd had enough. I was done. I changed my clothes & decided to run away. I grabbed my backpack from my closet & emptied the contents out on my floor. I threw some clothes into it, my iPod & some charging cords, my phone & the charger, & some other useful stuff I might need. Sitting down at my desk, I wrote a letter.
'If you're reading this, I'm already long gone. I'm never coming back & I'm starting a new life elsewhere. Don't bother trying to find me. I'm going ghost so good luck. Maybe I'll come back someday, but I doubt it. I'll miss you all. Especially you, Zacky. I'm sorry if this comes as a shock to you all, but I need to get out of here. I know some of you will miss me. I'll miss all of you, too. I hope you're happy, Johnny. You're the main reason that I'm leaving. I need to be happy & I need to find myself. I just can't do that with you constantly looking over my shoulder. You'll never change & I can't deal with that anymore. I'm sorry everyone, but I have to do this. Goodbye - Taylor'
I took one last look around my room & then my eyes landed on a picture of Zack & me hanging out at the mall a few years ago. I started tearing up & grabbed the frame off my dresser, putting it in my backpack. I then walked out of my bedroom door, down the stairs, & out the front door as quietly as I could. I walked down the street on my way to the nearest bus station to get the hell out of here. I couldn't wait to leave this state.