Suffocated

Chapter 5
Remenissions
~ 8 Years later~
"Taylor, I need three beers for table five." Trent asked, walking past me.
"Got it." I nodded. I was bartending for The Wet Whistle, my side job to make some extra money. By now, I was 26 & I was living in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Ever since I left home, eight years ago, I've been on my own. I still hadn't talked to Johnny, my family, or my friends that I used to have. I always wondered from time to time what things were like back home, but I wasn't curious enough to go back just to find out. Now my main job, I really loved. Most of the time I was writing lyrics for bands or musicians or I was helping them to write their own lyrics. It helped pay the bills a little bit, but what I couldn't cover doing that, I did working as a bartender. I wasn't doing too bad for myself considering what I'd been through. I finished working my shift, grabbed my coat from the back, & headed out to my car. Once I was back at my apartment, I threw myself on my couch. I started thinking about Zacky. I wondered if the guys were still friends. I wondered what Zacky's life was like now. I wondered how Johnny was doing. Pushing the thoughts from my head, I got up, walked over to the kitchen & poured myself a drink. A tumbler of Jack Daniel's whiskey always seemed to distract me from my everyday stress. The next day, I went back to work at The Wet Whistle. It was about 10 o'clock, half an hour before I was due to end my shift. I was pouring a guy a couple of whiskey shots when I looked up & my stomach dropped through the floor. I felt all of the color drain from my face.
"Hey, could we get five Guiness beers?" It was Brian.
"Yeah, sure. Hang on a second. Go find a table & I'll have Trent bring them over to you guys." I said, trying not to flip out. I filled the five glasses, got Trent's attention, & told him to take the beers to Brian's table.
"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." he asked, worriedly.
"Yeah. Is there any way I could get off early?"
"What? Why?"
"Trent please." I begged.
"Taylor, Joe's not supposed to be here for another thirty minutes. You know that. I can't handle all these customers by myself. Sorry." he frowned, filling the tray with the glasses of Guiness. Fuck. I just had to try to survive this. Please do not notice me. Do not recognize me. Time had slowed down to a crawl. I stood there at the bar, serving some beer & shots of various alcohol while I was watching Brian & his table at the same time. He was with Johnny, Matt, Zacky, & Jimmy. Zack was the last to catch my attention. He looked so much hotter than he did back in high school. His hair was a crimson red, short, & spiked. He had a septum & snakebites now & both of his arms were covered in tattoos. Johnny's hair was blonde & black, short & spiked, Brian had a nose stud & his arms were covered in tattoos, Matt had a lip ring on the bottom of his lip to the left, his arms were covered in tattoos, & Jimmy had a big neck tattoo & his arms were covered in tattoo's also. They had changed a lot since the day I left. I tried to keep busy by pouring some shots & serving the customers more beer. I finally had about ten minutes left when Johnny looked in my direction. Our eyes met & I looked away, keeping busy by wiping down the bar. Then he stood up & walked over to me. Shit.
"Hey, you look familiar. Have we met before?" he asked me, leaning on the bar.
"Nope. Lived here all my life." I said, not looking up at him.
"You've been to one of our shows then, right?"
"No. I don't get out much. I work all the time."
"What's your name?" he asked me.
"Look, I don't have time for this. Are you going to get a drink or what?" I said, looking at him. Then his eyes got really big.
"Taylor? Is it really you?" I hesitated before I spoke.
".....No. My name is Tara. Sorry." I sighed. Then Trent came out at the worst possible time.
"Okay, Taylor. Ready to go home? Joe's here to take over for ya." Damn it, Trent. I just hung my head.
"It IS you! Oh my god!" Johnny smiled.
"Go back to your fucking table. I'll be there in a minute." I sighed. He looked a little puzzled, but did what I told him. I grabbed my coat from the back & reluctantly walked back into the bar area. Trying to sneak past them to the door, they stopped me.
"Taylor, come here. Sit down with us." Johnny said.
"Hi, guys." I sighed.
"You don't sound very happy to see us." Brian said, noticing my unhappiness.
"Look, I know it's been some years, but I ran away for a reason. I didn't want you to find me then & I don't want you to find me now. Just leave me alone. I gotta go."
"Hi, Taylor." Zacky finally said before I stood up. I looked at him, looked at the floor, & felt so guilty.
"I gotta go. I'm really sorry, guys." Tears started forming in my eyes again. I ran out to my car & as I was unlocking it, I heard footsteps running behind me.
"Taylor, hey. Look, I don't know what happened that night. I don't know if it was me kissing you that night, Johnny being protective of you, I don't know. We've all missed you, though. Especially me." I heard Zacky's voice say. It had started to rain & I started shivering.
"Zack, I can't go back. I've made my decision. I'm not going back." I said, without turning back.
"Please. At least come in, sit down & talk with us. We've all missed you like crazy. Valary & Michelle cried for a couple of days after you left."
"Really?" I asked him, turning around.
"Well, yeah. Their mom, too. You're like family to them. So what do you say?" he asked me, holding out his hand for me to take it. I just pushed past him & walked inside. Sitting down at the table, all the guys looked at me.
"So how have you been, Taylor?" Matt asked me, sipping his Guiness.
"Not much. I have my own apartment now. I work here as my side job, but my main job is a lyricist. I write lyrics for bands & musicians & I also help them write their own lyrics if need be."
"A lyricist? Wow. Pretty impressive." Brian grinned.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Jimmy asked me as Zack walked in & sat down next to Brian. I could see he was whispering something into his ear.
"No. I don't have time for a relationship. I'm focused on other things right now, anyway."
"You must work a lot, huh?" Johnny asked me.
"I have to make a living. So yeah. How's mom & dad." I asked him. They all became really quiet all of a sudden.
"Taylor, I don't know how else to say this, but she got Cancer while you were away & she died."
"How long ago?" I asked him, straight faced, but shaken inside.
"It'll be two years next week."
"I'm sorry, Johnny. I should've come back. I should've been there for you."
"Hey, you know what? I should've let go a long time ago. If it weren't for me, you'd have stuck around & you'd have been happier. I'm sorry, Taylor."
"Johnny, you can't expect everything to be fine & go back to the way it was overnight." I told him, looking over at him.
"I know, I know. But if you're willing, I'd like to patch things up. We actually just finished touring. Would you want to come back to Huntington Beach with us?" Johnny asked.
"Johnny, I don't know." I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose.
"Please. If only for a few days, fine. We've all missed you. Afterwards, you can come back here & you won't ever have to hear from us again if you want." I thought about it for a minute or so.
"Fine. BUT this does not mean that everything is cool between us." I sighed, looking Johnny dead in the eyes.
"Fine. Fine." he said, sipping his Guiness. I looked over at Zacky & his beer was already gone.
"I'll go get you guys some more beer. It's on me." I said as I stood up, taking Zack's glass.
"Thanks." he burped. I walked up to the bar & asked Joe to give me a tray of five Guiness beers. He set me up & I walked back to the table with the tray in hand, sitting the glasses down on the table.
"Thanks." Zack said, quietly. We talked for a few more hours & they drank a few more beers.
"Well, we should probably get going." Matt said, standing up.
"Yeah. That's probably a good idea." Brian added.
"So how are we going to do this? It's not like I can leave work for a few days." I told Johnny.
"I don't see why you don't just pack up & move back home or even back to California."
"Because I have a job here. I have an apartment. I have everything that I need here." I told him.
"It's not like you have to live in the same city as us. There are other surrounding cities, ya know." Johnny argued.
"Are you trying to convince me to move back?" I said, looking at him, knowingly.
"You know you miss it there." Jimmy nudged me.
"I have been thinking about it." I chuckled.
"See? All the more reason for you to come back." Johnny grinned.
"I don't know. That's a big decision. Besides, I have a lot of stuff now."
"We're done touring. If you let us crash at your place, we can help you move." Matt chimed in.
"But I'll be breaking my lease. I don't have that kind of money."
"Well, we do now." Brian smiled, proudly.
"Well, it looks like my mind's been made up for me, I guess."
"That's the spirit." Jimmy shouted, excitedly. I had a feeling this was a really, really bad idea, but I did kind of miss California.