Sequel: Radiate ›
Status: Finished // Currently edditing/correcting the mistakes.
As I Follow This Little Lies
But In The End It's Right.
Things became more and more awkward in Sydney's marriage then it already was. They didn't talk about what she told him the day when they were going back from the police station, after the incident in the mall. She felt that what she said, came out wrong, but what point was in explaining this? Of course they spent time together.. and talked, but it felt different. They were lost, though. Both of them didn't really know if that was good or bad change in their life's, after a year and one, two months... If they were to divorce, their excuse would be 'we spent not enough time together'. Shit happens...
Bands were pretty good. Green Day played a couple of shows at Gilman's. They thought about recording another album if everything went well. Billie already wrote some songs. Sydney couldn't complain also, but they were still a 'no name' band, organizing, searching for their own style.. With Allison, Sydney wrote couple of songs, worth taking time on composing music to it. Sometimes there were problems with vocals or they simply didn't agree on something... song was supposed to be slow or sound heavier... guitar didn't fit the song... In the end they would work it out. Sydney, writing her songs, was inspired by her love life, Allison by events like politics or everyday life. Both girls loved hanging out with Matt and their drummer Dave.
Dave couldn't be compared to Tre, since they were complete opposites. Dave had long brown hair, brown eyes and was 184 cm high. He was a silent person. Very responsible too.
When Sydney returned home in the late afternoon, there was no one beside Billie, who was playing his guitar, Blue. Sydney walked into the living room and listened to him playing some song. He was so into it that he had no idea she was with him in the room.
"That was cool." she commented as soon as he stopped playing and noticed her sitting on an armchair.
"Thanks" he replied, putting Blue down near the couch that he was sitting on. "Back from band practice?"
"Yea. It was great.." she smiled weakly. Billie nodded his head and looked at the window. Sydney looked down, thinking what she could say, but didn't think of anything good enough. Billie tapped his fingers on the couch, playing some melody. He didn't look at Sydney and she didn't look at him too. The silence was becoming worse and worse and it seemed there's nothing to do about it. After 10-15 minutes Sydney was lost in her thoughts and Billie looked at her from time to time, wondering if he should tell what was on his mind. He wasn't sure, if it was a good thing to do. Billie only knew he didn't want this going till the end of his life. Maybe.. they were just not meant to be? Maybe they'll find happiness and whatever they wish with someone else?
"I thought about all of this" Billie suddenly said, mentally smacking himself on the head. I wasn't supposed to say that yet.. damn.
Sydney looked at him with raised eyebrow. He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. "I... don't know what to do to make you happy. I guess.. I got the feeling you're not happy." he said becoming quieter with every word "I'm not happy"
"What?" Sydney muttered.
"We're arguing 80% of the time, you don't trust me at times, you don't tell me everything. What if.. we both.. I was selfish. I can admit that. I just, maybe.. I didn't want anyone else to be with you. Yeah. I didn't think about the future and anything.. I only thought that I wanted to be with you... I wanted to know everything about you, be there for you forever.." her eyes went wide as he spoke. "...then it all got complicated.. Tour, another one, us getting away from each other.." Sydney stared at him, having a bad feeling about this whole thing. He ran a hand through his hair and looked at her.
"I mean that...I think we should...we can't stay together,we.."
"You-you want a divorce?" she asked in almost a whisper.
"I..I guess that..Yes." he coughed and stood up. "That..will be the best. For both of us."
"Fine." Sydney replied calmly, staring intently at the carpet.
"What?" he asked shocked, looking at her disbelieving.
"You'll get what you want, Billie." he walked over to the window with a gloomy expression on his face.
"It was coming." she added. "I guess..it's better it happened now and not later.."
"Yea... I have to go now... I-I'll see you later." he went to the kitchen to get his car keys. Walking to the doors he looked at Sydney, still sitting in the armchair, with emotionless expression upon her face. It seemed, that the news didn't affect her as much as he thought it would. It was easier than he thought. Easier to say. So, why did he feel this weird feeling? Why wasn't he happy at all?
30 minutes after Billie left, Sydney finally realized what happened. She went to their room and started packing her stuff. They were getting divorce. She couldn't stay here any much longer and let him see what it did to her. What if he changed his mind then? No. It wasn't fair. She understood he did a mistake and he wanted to repair it.
She sobbed quietly, knowing no one will fill this place. No one will replace Billie. She felt just like her heart was smashed into a little pieces and there was no one to help her. The feeling was so horrible, it felt like she was closed in a room without doors and windows and couldn't catch her breath. She already knew this will be hard without him. Whole life without his love. She had to live it. Survive.
As she finished packing, she called Matt to pick her up. He was confused, but she didn't want to talk about this stuff on the phone. Sydney packed her kittens stuff. Ready to leave, she was sitting in the kitchen, not expecting anyone to appear in the house so early.
Sudden noise near the door, made her fall of the chair and look around the kitchen for something she could use in case...
"OW! Who put it here!" Mike exclaimed. Sydney sighed and walked over to the doorway.
"Mike!" Sydney smiled at him, as he got up and eyed the bags on the floor.
"You was cleaning stuff and now you're throwing everything out?"
"No." she rubbed her neck, avoiding eye contact. "I'm moving out."
"What?! Why!"
"We..." she looked at him, after a second regretting it, seeing his confused expression. "We're getting d-d-divorce!" she broke into tears. Mike wrapped his arms around her, shocked hearing the news. After knowing her better, he liked her and became good friends. He knew, why Billie married her and couldn't imagine anyone else in her place.
"You had to get something wrong, Syd." he said "Billie wouldn't..he loves you and-"
"T-th-there's no-thing to d-do ab-about it" she stammered, pulling away from Mike and wiping her tears. "H-he decided."
"Damn. He wasn't serious. He couldn't be." Sydney smiled weakly.
"Well, now everyone were right."
"No. Don't say this." Mike said seriously, for the first time regretting ever saying this marriage won't work out. "Don't give up so easily."
"Wow.. you sound so convincing.." she crossed her arms. "You'll see.. Billie did a good thing.. for the both of us. It can be good."
"Listen to yourself. You're trying to lie yourself and it's not working.. Why don't you wait for Billie, you both will expl-"
"No, it won't work." she chimed in, tears appearing again in her eyes.
"You're so stubborn." Mike shook his head. "Both of you. I just hope you know what you're giving up on."
"Of course I know." she muttered and walked over to the window. "Oh, Matt's already here. I have to go."
"I'll help you. At least that I can do for you." she nodded with a small smile.
Mike helped her carry everything to the car and then she got into the car with Freaky in her arms. "Hey, Matt."
"Syd? What's going on? Did h-"
"It's mine decision." Matt frowned, looking at her.
"And what made you do this?"
"Divorce." his jaw dropped to the floor and he stared at her.
"Will you already start the car or should I call a cab?" she said annoyed, when he stared at her like that.
"Gees.. Chill out." He rolled his eyes. "You know, you always ran away from problem. Does he know you're leaving?"
"No."
"Damn. What the hell are you doing? He'll really think the divorce is the best way out after this."
"I don't care anymore.. We already talked." Matt sighed and shook his head.
"Sure you don't care. You just cried, thought what you did wrong and gave up." Sydney hugged her kitten and sighed.
"He's unhappy with me. I don't want to see him like this."
"And then you're unhappy." Matt started the car and drove away from Billie's house. "Damn. You're a complicated woman."
"I am?" Sydney chuckled. "Well, shit happens."
"Yea, but please make sure you won't whine about Billie all the time okay?" Matt glanced at her. "I don't like him and I'd rather not know about your love life."
"Sure.."
"Sydney? Are you sure it's a good thing?" he asked "You love him and you give up?" She rolled her eyes and eyed Matt. Sydney laid Freaky on her laps and stared ahead at the road, thinking.
"Time will show."
"Just don't end up as old lady without husband..." Matt smirked.
"Oh, damn.. what will I do without that idiot?" Sydney said in an overly dramatic manner.
"I hope you won't die…"
Bands were pretty good. Green Day played a couple of shows at Gilman's. They thought about recording another album if everything went well. Billie already wrote some songs. Sydney couldn't complain also, but they were still a 'no name' band, organizing, searching for their own style.. With Allison, Sydney wrote couple of songs, worth taking time on composing music to it. Sometimes there were problems with vocals or they simply didn't agree on something... song was supposed to be slow or sound heavier... guitar didn't fit the song... In the end they would work it out. Sydney, writing her songs, was inspired by her love life, Allison by events like politics or everyday life. Both girls loved hanging out with Matt and their drummer Dave.
Dave couldn't be compared to Tre, since they were complete opposites. Dave had long brown hair, brown eyes and was 184 cm high. He was a silent person. Very responsible too.
When Sydney returned home in the late afternoon, there was no one beside Billie, who was playing his guitar, Blue. Sydney walked into the living room and listened to him playing some song. He was so into it that he had no idea she was with him in the room.
"That was cool." she commented as soon as he stopped playing and noticed her sitting on an armchair.
"Thanks" he replied, putting Blue down near the couch that he was sitting on. "Back from band practice?"
"Yea. It was great.." she smiled weakly. Billie nodded his head and looked at the window. Sydney looked down, thinking what she could say, but didn't think of anything good enough. Billie tapped his fingers on the couch, playing some melody. He didn't look at Sydney and she didn't look at him too. The silence was becoming worse and worse and it seemed there's nothing to do about it. After 10-15 minutes Sydney was lost in her thoughts and Billie looked at her from time to time, wondering if he should tell what was on his mind. He wasn't sure, if it was a good thing to do. Billie only knew he didn't want this going till the end of his life. Maybe.. they were just not meant to be? Maybe they'll find happiness and whatever they wish with someone else?
"I thought about all of this" Billie suddenly said, mentally smacking himself on the head. I wasn't supposed to say that yet.. damn.
Sydney looked at him with raised eyebrow. He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. "I... don't know what to do to make you happy. I guess.. I got the feeling you're not happy." he said becoming quieter with every word "I'm not happy"
"What?" Sydney muttered.
"We're arguing 80% of the time, you don't trust me at times, you don't tell me everything. What if.. we both.. I was selfish. I can admit that. I just, maybe.. I didn't want anyone else to be with you. Yeah. I didn't think about the future and anything.. I only thought that I wanted to be with you... I wanted to know everything about you, be there for you forever.." her eyes went wide as he spoke. "...then it all got complicated.. Tour, another one, us getting away from each other.." Sydney stared at him, having a bad feeling about this whole thing. He ran a hand through his hair and looked at her.
"I mean that...I think we should...we can't stay together,we.."
"You-you want a divorce?" she asked in almost a whisper.
"I..I guess that..Yes." he coughed and stood up. "That..will be the best. For both of us."
"Fine." Sydney replied calmly, staring intently at the carpet.
"What?" he asked shocked, looking at her disbelieving.
"You'll get what you want, Billie." he walked over to the window with a gloomy expression on his face.
"It was coming." she added. "I guess..it's better it happened now and not later.."
"Yea... I have to go now... I-I'll see you later." he went to the kitchen to get his car keys. Walking to the doors he looked at Sydney, still sitting in the armchair, with emotionless expression upon her face. It seemed, that the news didn't affect her as much as he thought it would. It was easier than he thought. Easier to say. So, why did he feel this weird feeling? Why wasn't he happy at all?
30 minutes after Billie left, Sydney finally realized what happened. She went to their room and started packing her stuff. They were getting divorce. She couldn't stay here any much longer and let him see what it did to her. What if he changed his mind then? No. It wasn't fair. She understood he did a mistake and he wanted to repair it.
She sobbed quietly, knowing no one will fill this place. No one will replace Billie. She felt just like her heart was smashed into a little pieces and there was no one to help her. The feeling was so horrible, it felt like she was closed in a room without doors and windows and couldn't catch her breath. She already knew this will be hard without him. Whole life without his love. She had to live it. Survive.
As she finished packing, she called Matt to pick her up. He was confused, but she didn't want to talk about this stuff on the phone. Sydney packed her kittens stuff. Ready to leave, she was sitting in the kitchen, not expecting anyone to appear in the house so early.
Sudden noise near the door, made her fall of the chair and look around the kitchen for something she could use in case...
"OW! Who put it here!" Mike exclaimed. Sydney sighed and walked over to the doorway.
"Mike!" Sydney smiled at him, as he got up and eyed the bags on the floor.
"You was cleaning stuff and now you're throwing everything out?"
"No." she rubbed her neck, avoiding eye contact. "I'm moving out."
"What?! Why!"
"We..." she looked at him, after a second regretting it, seeing his confused expression. "We're getting d-d-divorce!" she broke into tears. Mike wrapped his arms around her, shocked hearing the news. After knowing her better, he liked her and became good friends. He knew, why Billie married her and couldn't imagine anyone else in her place.
"You had to get something wrong, Syd." he said "Billie wouldn't..he loves you and-"
"T-th-there's no-thing to d-do ab-about it" she stammered, pulling away from Mike and wiping her tears. "H-he decided."
"Damn. He wasn't serious. He couldn't be." Sydney smiled weakly.
"Well, now everyone were right."
"No. Don't say this." Mike said seriously, for the first time regretting ever saying this marriage won't work out. "Don't give up so easily."
"Wow.. you sound so convincing.." she crossed her arms. "You'll see.. Billie did a good thing.. for the both of us. It can be good."
"Listen to yourself. You're trying to lie yourself and it's not working.. Why don't you wait for Billie, you both will expl-"
"No, it won't work." she chimed in, tears appearing again in her eyes.
"You're so stubborn." Mike shook his head. "Both of you. I just hope you know what you're giving up on."
"Of course I know." she muttered and walked over to the window. "Oh, Matt's already here. I have to go."
"I'll help you. At least that I can do for you." she nodded with a small smile.
Mike helped her carry everything to the car and then she got into the car with Freaky in her arms. "Hey, Matt."
"Syd? What's going on? Did h-"
"It's mine decision." Matt frowned, looking at her.
"And what made you do this?"
"Divorce." his jaw dropped to the floor and he stared at her.
"Will you already start the car or should I call a cab?" she said annoyed, when he stared at her like that.
"Gees.. Chill out." He rolled his eyes. "You know, you always ran away from problem. Does he know you're leaving?"
"No."
"Damn. What the hell are you doing? He'll really think the divorce is the best way out after this."
"I don't care anymore.. We already talked." Matt sighed and shook his head.
"Sure you don't care. You just cried, thought what you did wrong and gave up." Sydney hugged her kitten and sighed.
"He's unhappy with me. I don't want to see him like this."
"And then you're unhappy." Matt started the car and drove away from Billie's house. "Damn. You're a complicated woman."
"I am?" Sydney chuckled. "Well, shit happens."
"Yea, but please make sure you won't whine about Billie all the time okay?" Matt glanced at her. "I don't like him and I'd rather not know about your love life."
"Sure.."
"Sydney? Are you sure it's a good thing?" he asked "You love him and you give up?" She rolled her eyes and eyed Matt. Sydney laid Freaky on her laps and stared ahead at the road, thinking.
"Time will show."
"Just don't end up as old lady without husband..." Matt smirked.
"Oh, damn.. what will I do without that idiot?" Sydney said in an overly dramatic manner.
"I hope you won't die…"
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