You Found Me

I made it through every party alive without Garrett ripping my head out. Christmas parties, birthday parties, or just any casual party anyone decided to randomly throw... I think I've become an expert with avoiding certain people. Over time I gained knowledge that Garrett liked hanging out mostly in the living room or near the kitchen. He always finds Pat first when he walks through the door for the first time. He usually takes Jared and Pat home when they're done for the night.

That meant that I avoided the living room and the places around the kitchen. I avoided Pat every time I arrive at the party for at least 30 minutes. And I made sure I hung out with other people and not Jared and Pat when I know everyone's getting wasted. It all works systematically and unless someone gathers all of us in the same room, I rarely saw him around.

It wasn't easy when it was Christmas especially because it was just a small get-together at Daisy's place. There were about 15 people around, including the band and I. And I think Garrett did actually also try and avoid me then. But it was hard not to glance at each other especially when John kept joking about the awkward silence that took place when we were in the same room together.

And I'm thankful that it was almost back to normal in school except for when the people keep bugging me about my oh-so-handsome big brother and one bass player not talking to me. They all still tease me about the issue. Heaven forbid they actually make me forget about that. But if they weren't reminding me themselves, just looking at Garrett puts the memory back in my head. Even John told me that although Garrett gets overboard with the confrontations, he understood why he's mad at me.

It was somewhere between Pat and Garrett's birthday today and we're celebrating it at Pat's house. It was basically a celebration for both of their birthdays since it was only a couple of weeks apart. They were hitting two birds with one stone. (And they thought there was no way Garrett could kick me out or make me uncomfortable because it was also Pat's party.) So I was currently sitting in front of the marble counter on a high chair, because Halvo left me when one of his friends took him by the arm and snatched him up to play beer pong.

"You are very quiet tonight," Kennedy appeared on the other side of the counter with a smirk on his lips. He leaned his elbows on the brown marble and set his cup above the counter.

I returned the smirk and leaned forward, leaning my chin on my hand. "That's because I'd look like a whack job if I tried talking to myself."

"I'm here," he shrugged his plaid covered shoulders and smiled. "Did you bring our birthday boys their gifts?"

"I bought Pat a comb," I nodded, making him chuckle slightly. "And new set of earphones since he mentioned a month ago that he needed a new one."

His jaw dropped slightly as he laughed. "Not that I'm complaining but you bought Pat earphones? I didn't even a comb when it was my birthday!"

"To be honest, I didn't even know that your birthday was last September. I was still new here and nobody mentioned it was your birthday until it was lunch time," I defended myself, sticking my tongue out after my explanation.

He just laughed softly before taking a gulp of what was in his cup. "You do know that it is Garrett's birthday too, right?"

I stared at him incredulously before just rolling my eyes. "I remembered Pat's birthday. Of course I know it's Garrett's birthday today. And I did buy him a gift... I just don't have the guts to actually give it to him. But it's Garrett... Of course I remembered."

"Well, thanks."

"You didn't tell me when your birthday was!" I threw my hands up in the air in frustration. "I bet you don't even know when my birthday is." Everyone assumed it was on March. My name was misleading, but that wasn't the reason why they called me March. It was their anniversary month.

"June 21st," Kennedy said monotonously with a slight shrug, making my jaw drop on the floor. "Did you really think I wouldn't know?"

"I never told anyone except Daisy," I shrugged. "So you've got to be pretty stalker-ish to find out when my birthday is," I said, a teasing smile on my lips.

"Or I just really care," he shrugged, widening his eyes for a moment before just breaking out in a grin. "Why isn't it June though? Or any other name?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't have time to ask them because I was covered in blood and I just came out of my mom's body," I said sarcastically. "The not-being-able-to-talk-until-I-was-3 thing also got in the way so..."

He simply rolled his eyes and chuckled. "You want something to drink?" He nudged over to me and I nodded silently, glancing at my phone to see what time it was. It was currently 10:30 and the house was jam packed in full swing. He slid a cup over to me and when I peeked in it, there was red alcohol in it. I took a small sip and licked my lips when the sweetness hit me. "Too sweet?" He raised his eyebrow while he grabbed a bottle of beer and opened it for himself.

I shook my head and smiled. "Better than what you guys like to drink," I looked over at his bottle.

"You were never one to drink at parties," he said, lowering his voice. If I wasn't carefully listening, I'm sure that the music from the living room would make me miss what he said. "Is it because of Garrett?"

I stared at him blankly and looked down at my cup. I didn't really know myself, to be honest, so I didn't exactly know how to answer Kennedy. Part of me wanted to deny that the reason I drink at parties now was because of Garrett but I knew that it was the truth. Partially the truth. I started drinking because I thought I'd always feel a tad bit braver and relaxed. It would keep me occupied while avoiding that walking scowl around the house. And being sober wasn't the same. Not when I didn't have anyone to hang out with me like I hung out with him.

"No," I shook my head and pressed a smile. "It just makes me feel loose and braver," I shrugged my cardigan covered shoulders. I pouted my lips and sighed. "Can I ask you something?" I tilted my head at him and he raised his eyebrow. "What are you going to do in college?"

"What makes you think I'm going to college?" He asked, laughing as he took a gulp of beer. "Maybe I can be a teacher. Or a soccer coach, at least. I can do both if I take up Education, right? But we have this label checking us out in a few weeks. That's big," he said, his voice sounding obviously taken aback by what was happening to them.

John mentioned it last weekend. At one of their shows, someone was watching them and apparently, was impressed. And after that, that guy was just hoping that everything would fall into place when he takes a representative from the label and watch them. Words can't even describe how excited they were and I couldn't blame them. I was excited myself and I wasn't even a part of the band. I wanted to talk to Garrett about it, especially because I knew he was so worried with everything about being a part of the band. But I knew that he wouldn't really trust me to talk to me about that anymore.

"John's still going to go to ASU," I said quietly, making him smile.

"Yeah, I know. He told us," he nodded. "He said he'll find the time to push the band through. Y'know... If we do get signed."

"Don't be pessimistic," I scrunched my eyebrows at him. "If it makes you feel better, I just finished mailing my applications to different colleges. I just really hope I'd be able to get into somewhere out of this state with a scholarship."

"Why not go to ASU like normal people?"

"I don't want to stay in Arizona." It was straight to the point and I guess it surprised him because his eyebrows shot up. "Don't get me wrong, I love it here. Especially the people I got to meet here, but I want to get away."

"Garrett?"

I stared at him in disbelief. "Not everything is about Garrett, okay?" I said defensively, the tone of my voice louder and slightly higher. He just returned the stare and gave me a tight-lipped smile. I sighed and hung my head low. "No. Kind of. Partially. I wanted it even before he hated me. But after... I'm just sure I'm moving away."

"I'll never forgive you if you don' keep in touch with me."

"We're getting ahead of ourselves. I'm not even sure I'll get accepted."

"You're the one that told me not to be pessimistic. They'd be fools not to give you that scholarship," he reassured me, finishing up his bottle.

"And that label will be fools not to sign you guys up."

For me, my friends were the people that kept me sane here in Arizona (along with focusing on my studies). And I always thought that maybe I was crazy or it seemed too weird to say that 6 people are the one that keeps you going everyday. But I'm here and I think it's really possible because Kennedy's there to make me feel better and I was there to make him feel the same.

And for some reason, it gets me sad because I knew I belonged here in Arizona. But nothing was going to stop me from leaving.

***

"What are we, 12?" Daisy whined even though she sat on the wooden floor next to John and Jared. "Why the hell are we playing Truth or Dare?"

"Because why the hell not?" Halvo spat back, crossing his legs and sitting on the floor, pulling my hand to go sit next to him.

It was about 12 in the midnight and most of the people were gone, except for a few people who decided to hang around a little longer. There were 12 people in the circle and I didn't know the other 4 other people who were in the circle but I'm guessing they were pretty close to the guys enough to be dragged along with Halvo's game. I'm pretty sure John was on his way to being wasted and I know that Kennedy tripped his way down to Pat's basement. It was the one of the few moments I caught a glimpse of Garrett drinking. I know that he's had more than what he normally takes in if he ever decided to drink because he tripped while walking on a flat surface. I wanted to laugh because he got so clumsy when he was tipsy, but that would result in him blowing up on me again so I bit it back and pretended like nothing happened.

"Last time I played this, I got slapped by Eleanor Robins," John laughed, earning an eye roll from Daisy.

"What did you do?"

"I was hooking up with her at the moment and I kissed Jessica when I was asked who I thought was the prettiest in the circle," he shrugged.

Jared just hung is head low and shook it slightly, disappointed by his friend's actions. I just laughed along with others while Halvo set several cases of beer at his side of the circle. He began passing them around and I took one for myself even if I hated the taste. John came up with a twist though and it was to drink a shot when you chose truth because he thought it would be too boring. "Let's get this started," he grinned like a maniac and placed an empty bottle in the middle, spinning it.

It landed on Kennedy first and Halvo called him a pussy when he played safe and chose 'truth'. No one was really creative with the questions and we all just resorted to asking Kennedy who his first kiss was. It wasn't really anything interesting and it was a normal first kiss. We all thought the game was going downhill because it was getting boring, but nobody really stopped and walked away from the game.

When the bottle pointed at Halvo and he chose to take a dare, he was asked to eat whipped cream off of Jared's face. The ginger wasn't too happy about that and he cursed Daisy for coming up with the dare and we all laughed along as Halvo pretended to be some kind of tiger trying to eat the tons of whipped cream sprayed all over Jared's face, courtesy of Pat.

And it was all fun and games when John asked for a dude's number upstairs and when Pat prank called Pizza Hut until the bottle landed on Garrett, making my heart race. And I suppose it shouldn't, because it wasn't pointing at me. But I was just scared that someone would bring our issue up. I haven't noticed it before, but it felt like Garrett wasn't really up for the game when he just looked around with his face expressionless. I'm betting that everyone just insisted he join because it was his party too and he was supposed to have fun.

Alex, Jared and Garrett's mutual friend spoke up, a grin gracing his lips. "Who's the best kisser out of all the people you've kissed?"

I looked down at my lap and bit my lip. I honestly didn't want to hear his answer because even though I'm aware that I'm not really the best of the best when it comes to kissing but I already knew it wasn't going to be me. And it felt like cotton twine strangling me because I know for myself that he was my best.

"Remember Erica from 7th grade?" Garrett turned to Pat, a smiling slowly forming on his lips.

"Oh yeah! We had that group date over at the movies," Pat exclaimed, nodding his head with a beaming smile. "Didn't she arrive here at Arizona a couple of weeks ago?" Pat knitted his eyebrows together, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. "I didn't know you actually kissed her at that date, man."

"I didn't," he shook his head. "We met up two days ago," he said, sending Pat a mischievous smile.

That was all it took for my heart to break. He moved on.

Alex high fived him and Garrett had this smirk on his lips. Everyone else felt awkward and it was obvious based on how stiff everyone became after the question was answered. I could even see Daisy staring at me at the corner of my eye but I put on a blank face and tried to not to get affected. For a second there, I was very sure he glanced at me with that smug look and after that, I didn't want to mope around anymore.

It landed on John again and he was dared to go at the far corner of the room while Kennedy blindfolded him. We were supposed to pick someone to slow dance and kiss him for one whole song and nobody was allowed to tell him who he danced with. They contemplated on grabbing some random guy from upstairs to dance with him but Pat ultimately decided that Daisy go. And as much as she tried resisting, Pat and Garrett kept pulling her to stand up and she had no choice but to do it. "Consider this your birthday gifts mother fuckers," I quote, Daisy cursing them through a whisper. I thought it was obvious enough, but I knew that Daisy and I were almost the same height and I knew that the two other girls with us didn't have that much of a big height difference with us. It could've easily been a random girl upstairs too.

I wanted to scream and I wanted to roll over the floor because there wasn't anyone who I wanted for John more than Daisy. And I knew that they loved each other dearly, but I also knew that neither of them was going to make the first move especially because I knew John didn't want to ruin their friendship and Daisy still rejected the idea of John ever liking her.

When it was done, Daisy went back to her place quietly and pretended like she has been sitting there for the entire duration of the song and kiss. John had this look when Kennedy finally took his blindfold off. Like he was in a trance of something because he just kept blinking his eyes and staring at us.

"Okay. Someone tell me who I danced with," John spoke, his voice monotonous and serious.

"The whole point of that was for you not to know who you danced with, dumbass," Kennedy smacked him at the back of his head.

John glared at Kennedy before looking around. "Was it Sam or Mary?" Everybody ignored him and rolled their eyes. "Daisy?"

"It could be Ryan or Max," Garrett shrugged, tossing him a playful smile. "They're still upstairs."

"You're telling me that you got Ryan or Max to make out with me?" John looked at him, his mouth pressed into a straight line.

"Make out? We asked for a quick kiss," Jared laughed. "Guess Ryan or Max couldn't keep their hands off of you."

"That's what you get for being such a hunk," I pouted my lips at him which made him stick his tongue out at me. "John rolled his eyes and spun the bottle again. It landed on Garrett, making the latter groan.

The bottle was avoiding me and I would be happy for that, but I would be much happier if it avoided Garrett too. Because the next dare was for him to kiss the prettiest girl in the basement.

He bit his lip for a moment and glanced around the room.

"Don't you fucking dare kiss me, Garrett," Halvo glared at him, making all of us break out into laughter.

"Wasn't thinking of it, buddy." He locked eyes with me before he kneeled up and turned to his right. To say Sam was surprised was an understatement, but when she melted into his kiss and when her hands went up to his cheeks, I wanted to explode.

Sam was in our baking class and I knew that she talked to Garrett or Pat occasionally. I haven't really had more than a couple of words with her and the most interaction I've had with her was the night we had to bake cupcakes when she was about to leave the work to Garrett and I. And I knew I had no right to be jealous or mad, but it was brewing inside of me.

I looked away and finished the rest of my bottle before reaching for a new one and opening it. I took a swig the moment I opened it and it was already halfway done when I put the bottle down on the floor. I already felt the buzz and I already felt the warmness creeping up to me. I didn't even realize that Garrett was done with his dare and that the bottle was pointing at me when he spun it.

On a normal day, I would be nervous as hell. I'd be gulping every 5 seconds, nervous with what they would throw at me. I would've blushed like crazy and I would actually try and make a run for it. I had no idea if it was the booze working or if I was just too hurt from the dare Garrett did, but I stuck around and I was down with the game.

I could hear Jared mutter "oh boy" and the faint "ooooooh" by Alex.

"How about you go kiss the person who you think is the best kisser here," Daisy suggested, a smile hanging on her lips. She winked at me and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Except for me, 'cause y'know... That would be gross," John said, keeping a straight face while Daisy slapped him softly on the face.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled slightly. I didn't even think about it and next thing I knew, I was kissing Kennedy full on the lips. I could hear him setting his bottle down on the floor and his hands slipping up to my waist while we were working on our full make out session. My hands went to his plaid clad chest and I was straddling his legs while he made our kiss deeper.

"Earth to Kennedy and March, we're still here," Jared cleared his throat but neither of us stopped.

"Sis, I am seriously going to call Mom if you don't stop eating Kennedy's face."

"See if I care," I whispered between breaths, smiling into his lips.

"Well damn," Daisy giggled. "March got it right. Looks like Kennedy is the best kisser here."

I tugged on his brown hair slightly and I could feel his tongue request entrance in my mouth. His hands ran down my spine and it threw me off because it brought back a memory. Garrett did the same when we kissed so after a few more moments of trying to enjoy kissing the guitarist, I pulled away and placed my forehead on his with my eyes still closed and a smile creeping on my lips.

"Yes, okay? I think I just turned 19 and you two still weren't done," Pat whined but he had a smile on his lips. I sat back in my place and licked my lips, my chest slightly caving in and out because of the shortness of breath. My lips were tingling and for some reason, if given the choice, I didn't want to stop kissing Kennedy.

I could see the amused look on everyone's faces, except for that one frown that stood out. He didn't have the right to frown or scowl or feel anything about me kissing his bandmate. He clearly didn't care when he was kissing out classmate from Baking.

I tried my hardest not to glance at Garrett so I just looked at the bottle and spun it. I could feel his eyes burning holes at the side of my face and I just wanted to smile.

I knew this was me asking for a new set of problems, but I was tired of getting hurt because of one little mistake I did.

***

I was standing in front of Pat's front door with everyone ready to go and call it a night.

"Thanks for the comb and the earphones, OC," Pat slurred, throwing his arms around me and hugging me tightly.

"No problem," I laughed, pulling away. "Drink water, okay?" I stepped back and stared at the bassist standing in the darkness away from everyone. He was still gripping on a bottle of beer as he watched everyone say their farewells. I stepped forward mindlessly. I honestly didn't know what I was going to say and I just blurted something out when I reached him. "Happy Birthday, Garrett."

"Thanks, March," he said monotonously, taking a swig. "Go fuck yourself."

"You started everything. I just played along with your game."

"You aren't going to do shit but break Kennedy's heart."

"Go to hell," I spat, turning around on my heel and walking to where Daisy and John were going.

He wasn't going to get to make me feel bad anymore. I wasn't going to take it.

***

I really didn't need John giving me a lecture about hooking up with people.

But he decided that he needed to talk to me about the dare I did earlier but it was currently 4 in the morning and all I wanted was to retire to my sheets and just go to sleep because I was sure I'm going to get a massive headache when I wake up. Daisy had just dropped us off because she drunk the less earlier.

"You're going to end up hurting him, March," John said as he entered my room, leaning on the doorframe.

"I don't think he cares," I answered back in a serious and annoyed tone. "By the way he was so game to kiss Sam, I don't think he was even a bit hurt with what I did."

John let our a forced laugh and crossed his arms. "I meant Kennedy."

"What? No. He's not-"

"Don't even try to tell me that he isn't into you because I will push you out of the window, I promise you that, sis," John stared at me raising a finger at me. "He's head over heels with you even if he's been laying low with the feelings for a couple of months because of Garrett."

"Can I try and have feelings with him?" I asked, leaning my head on my palms. Kennedy was a good guy. He's almost instantly there if I needed him, he was my go-to when I need something or someone to talk to, he never left me, and he was everything a perfect boyfriend would be.

The only problem was I didn't exactly reciprocate the same feelings he had for me.

"If you want a disaster blowing up on your face, sure," John said with wide eyes as he shifted his weight to another leg. I just groaned and fell back on the softness of my bed. "Since when did you become a boy magnet? You weren't boy hungry two weeks ago."

"Didn't you hear?" I sat up and spoke, a lazy smile on my face. "According to Garrett, I'm a slut that's going to hook up with 4/5 of the band."

"You're nothing anywhere near a slut," he rolled his eyes and sighed, taking a seat on the chair in front of my study table. "But don't do this to Ken. You can't use him to move on from Garrett."

"I'm not using him to move on from Garrett," I said, looking down at my lap and rubbing the back of my neck uncomfortably.

"You're not?" John leaned forward and raised his eyebrows skeptically. "Then what are you trying to do? Get a guy because you're single? I didn't peg you to be that girl that always wanted a guy by his side."

"I'm not doing this because I don't want to be single, John."

"Then why are you trying to convince yourself that you like him even if you know that you'll never like him in a million years? Because you get to rub it to Garrett's face that you've moved on? Because you want to make him regret that he let go of you and won't give you a second chance?"

"Because he makes me forget about Garrett," I cut him off before he could say anything else. I sighed and covered my face with my hands. I thought about it for a moment before looking up at John. I knew that part of the reason why I was saying this because I was desperate to move on and because of the booze flowing through my veins. But I wasn't going to stop anyway. "And maybe everything else you said too."

John stared at me for a second and leaned back on his seat. "Don't lead Kennedy on, March." He stood up and made his way outside of my room. "Because if the band breaks up, I'm blaming you. I swear to God, I'm blaming you."