You Found Me

"Time to practice," John said the moment he entered my room. He was already dressed up for tonight's gig and I was just about to go out and take a quick shower myself to get ready.

I tilted my head at him and looked at him curiously. "Practice?"

He nodded. "With how you're going to clarify to Kennedy that you don't have feelings for him."

I rolled my eyes at him and groaned, wanting to push him aside and go straight to the bathroom. But he blocked the doorway, keeping me inside my room. "H-he already knows that."

"Not after that dare he doesn't," he shook his head, giving me a disappointed look.

It was the absolute truth. We hadn't talked about that night. We actually hadn't talked that much at all. Our conversations were limited to home works, tests, and small matters like dates, times, and people. Neither of us brought the night of Pat and Garrett's celebration. And if I wasn't going to bring it up, the both of us would have to suck it up because very much like my brother, I hated confrontations.

Why did I kiss Kennedy that night? I'm just going to go ahead and state the obvious and say that it was because I got pissed at Garrett for shoving it in my face that he kissed his old schoolmate and that he kissed Sam. I can make up some bullshit reason and say that it's because I actually wanted to kiss Kennedy. Maybe I did, because I was tired of liking someone that didn't like me back, but the anger and pain I felt because of Garrett was more accurate and true.

"T-then, what am I supposed to say?" I crossed my arms and scowled at him from where I stood.

"Practice on me," he pointed his two thumbs at himself, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I'm so not playing John-doll today," I rolled my eyes again and tried pushing past him but he didn't budge. "John, let me out. I still have to get ready for tonight."

Tonight was the moment of truth. They were going to perform for the label's rep and find out if they were going to get signed. And I wasn't about to ruin their performance by getting their guitarist down, how urgent the truth may be. If that meant that I was going to have to postpone breaking his heart, I was more than fine with that.

I glared at him for a moment before brushing by him and walking to the bathroom.

"Why do you still like Garrett?"

I stopped dead in my tracks and closed my eyes. I let out an airy breath before turning around to face him. He was still leaning on my doorway and I still wanted to punch him.

"He treats you like you're nothing. He hates you. He blows one little issue into the size of Texas and he's irrational. Why do you still prefer him over Kennedy?" He stepped forward and looked down at me. If he was joking earlier, it was obvious that he wasn't now. He had this bitter tone that I didn't understand why he was using at me.

"Because I like him," I simply said, biting my lip and avoiding his look. "You wouldn't ignore Daisy even if she got mad at you, right?"

He shook his head slightly and pursed his lips. "No. Daisy and I are different. I have the decency to-"

"You have the decency to do what?" I spat, glaring right at him like I could punch holes through his head with my eyes. "To hook up with other girls and forget that you have actual feelings for your best friend? That's very decent of you, John."

He gazed at me for a little while before he rolled his eyes at me. "No. We're different. You're hurting Kennedy."

"You don't get to play professor with me when it comes to hurting people, okay?" I raised my voice, pointing at him. "Because truthfully, John, what you're doing isn't really any better than what I'm doing."

We had a glaring contest and we didn't move in our spots. He kept glaring holes at my head and I did the same with him until we heard a crash and a moan coming from the stairs. He looked back and I peeked behind John, only to see someone who fell face down on the carpeted floor.

Halvo looked up at us with a sheepish smile and sat down on the floor, clutching his lower leg. "I tripped at the top step of the stairs..."

"How long have you been there?" John turned around completely to face the boy sitting on the floor and crossed his arms.

"Around when you were talking about decency..." He answered, looking at us nervously. He stood up with a groan and dusted himself off. He glanced at the both of us before sighing. "You can't seriously act this childish with each other."

"She started it."

"He started it."

"I've never been more wrong," Halvo rested his head on his palm and shook it slightly. "Wake up. You're both miserably failing when it comes to relationships. Don't fight about this because you both have shit to figure out for yourselves."

It got quiet between us as I looked at my feet and glanced over at the taller blonde. His gaze has softened and the annoyance in his features were gone.

"I dropped off your old Biology book downstairs, John. I'm not going to the show tonight. I'll see you two on Monday," he nodded his head at us before turning around to go down the stairs and out of the house again.

We stood there in silence as I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry," I muttered as I turned around to go to the bath room.

I could hear a faint "I'm sorry too" as I walked away followed by the sound of a door closing. While the water ran on my skin, the truth struck me hard as I realized that both John and I were really horrible with relationships. And we both didn't have the right to tell someone off because we had our own problems that we have to deal with. I tried forgetting about all of it for the entirety of my bath which was about twenty minutes before I was met by reality again when I stepped out.

I was going to have to fix this somehow.

***

Daisy and I waited anxiously on the parking lot of their show's venue tonight, waiting the representative's decision if they were going to be a part of their label or not. I was contented with their performance tonight and I'm pretty sure the crowd was too. I knew that a whole lot of those kids didn't even know them but they performed good enough for them to jump around and actually cheer for the guys.

She was leaning on the white van that Pat brought along for his drum kit and all their instruments, her nails drumming on the metal. I paced the length of the van, wanting the wait to be over already. They were all excited and nervous earlier, especially John but his performance tonight was way better than his performance the first public show I saw him perform in. He actually faced the crowd and he got them going. I hugged Jared and Pat good luck before they went on stage and I just shot Garrett a small smile, something he didn't return. He just took one good glance at me and looked away as if looking at me would turn him in to stone.

I gave Kennedy a big hug and told him to just have fun on stage. It was brief but sincere... But still rushed. Part of it is because we haven't had a decent conversation in several weeks. But I'm just going to say that it's because he was about to go perform in front of the biggest crowd they've had yet.

I thought about him a lot for the past couple of weeks. Too much that it distracted me from finishing my problem sets and essays immediately. John's words rang vividly through my ears. If the band breaks up, I'm blaming you. That would never be my intention in a million years. The last thing I wanted to result from this big pile of mess was them breaking up. I had the worst plan ever in my head that night. I wanted to force myself to like the guy who liked me. I wanted to use him to forget about the guy that I still genuinely liked a lot. And that's where it's fucked up. Kennedy was more accepting. When he found out, he was more than willing to be a shoulder to lean on. Garrett? Well, Garrett just made it seem like I ran over his dog intentionally. Or I called Ryan Adams a loser. Whichever would result into him hating me more.

It was different with the bassist. After his little problem with Kat, we became good friends. Good enough for us to talk every night and hang out with each other whenever we're in the same vicinity with each other. Close enough for me let my guard down again after Kean. I understood why he was getting worked up about me hiding. He trusted me and I didn't even bother telling him my real last name.

The moment they poured out of the door from the venue, Daisy and I froze on our spot, our eyes glued at them walking towards us. There wasn't any sign of joy or sadness and it made me anxious to know what had happened.

They all stood in front of us with blank faces when they finally got to the van. John took a step forward and crossed his arms, looking back at the guys then at us. He shook his head slightly and smiled softly at us. "I mean... You know... We're getting signed."

My jaw fell on the floor and Daisy started jumping up and down, flailing her arms around.

"No way!" She shouted. "NO WAY!"

"Yes way," John grinned and nodded as she jumped over to him and wrapped her arms around him.

When Jared beamed over at me, I ran and he engulfed me in a big, warm, cuddly bear hug as I muttered a "I feel like a proud mother" on his shoulder. I high-fived Pat and punched John slightly on the arm before glancing at Garrett and smiling tightly. He smiled (barely) back. He had his hands shoved inside his pockets and he offered the tight-lipped smile back but he didn't glance at me for more than a second. It was still a better response than a frown or ignoring me, so I took it.

I threw my arm around Kennedy's shoulders and looked up at him. "Told you you'll kill it."

"Wouldn't have played good if it weren't for our number one fans," a slight chuckle escaped his lips as he slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to his side.

Everyone seemed sold on John's idea where we just go to some place and get food to celebrate. I quietly slipped out of Kennedy's grip and wrapped my arms around myself.

It was colder than usual tonight and I decided to stalk at the back of the group while walking to where we were going to eat. Everyone was happy and nobody could wipe the grin off of their faces. I felt happy for them too and one of the best thing's I've ever witnessed was them excited about getting signed, but something got me down. I wasn't sure what but I shrugged it off, not wanting to ruin the great night everyone was having.

I looked down at my feet while I was walking to get distracted and I shoved my arms inside the pockets of the jacket I had on. I concentrated on not tripping because I'm sure that I stumbled on flat ground 3 times already because I was deep in my thoughts. But I guess I should've paid more attention to my surroundings because next thing I knew, I bumped into someone's back, causing me to stumble back and shake my head slightly.

"Are you okay?" The tall brunette turned around with a weak smile on his face. We were about to cross the street and if he wasn't standing where he was standing, I'd be in the middle of the street waiting for a car to hit me.

I stared at him for a moment before nodding my head. "Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I was out of my head."

"You want to talk about it?" He offered a tight-lipped smile. He gestured for me to start walking since the rest of the group was already crossing the road. When we got to the other side safely, he turned back to me and raised his eyebrows at me.

I shook my head and forced a smile, looking in front of me. I could still feel his gaze lingering on me, but I ignored him. I tried keeping myself focused while walking. It took every ounce of concentration not to trip but I did anyway with Kennedy gripping my arm that it could cut my circulation.

"Why are you extra accident prone today?"

When he let my arm go, I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck nervously. "We need to talk."

We started walking at a much slower pace, making a gap with the other guys who were messing around, probably still surprised about the success that happened earlier. The fun that was going on with them was the complete opposite of what was happening with me and the guitarist by my side. It was awkward and weird and everything that shouldn't be when I was with him.

"That night..." I muttered, referring to the night of Pat and Garrett's birthday celebration. "I was out of it and I..."

"You didn't mean the kiss," he mumbled, smiling over at me. I didn't get why he was smiling because it was quite obvious in his eyes that he wasn't glad. "It's okay."

"That's okay? Really? That's nowhere near okay," I rolled my eyes and joked, trying to lighten up the mood. He laughed softly looked back at me. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying sorry. You don't like me that way," he shrugged. "What am I supposed to do, force you to like me? I can't do that, March. Especially not to you."

"How can you be okay with this?" I asked, scrunching my eyebrows at him. "I led you on. I shouldn't have but I did in great desperation to get over that douchebag walking there," I nodded over at Garrett who was talking silently with Pat.

He threw his arm on my shoulder and pulled me closer. "Because I always knew I never had a chance with you. I already thought about how I won't be able to reach you or get close to you. I didn't expect anything to happen. You can't say that you led me on because I didn't really think we were going to get anywhere."

I turned my head to him slightly and narrowed my eyes at him, looking at him suspiciously. "You're lying."

"No, I am not," he shook his head with a sneaky smile on his lips.

"Why do you always have to make me feel better even if I'm the one who's the bad guy," I breathed out, crossing my arms and looking straight. I knew that he kept talking to Daisy and occasionally, John about me and this issue and I knew that he was saying this because he doesn't want me to blame myself.

"Because the last thing I want is you to feel bad about all of this," he answered, his voice soft and quiet. "Let it go, March. I'm trying to," he took one good look at me before peeling his arm off and walked a faster pace to get to the others.

And I also did try after that. After that short and brief talk with Kennedy, I was just willing to move on and forget about everything. Forget that there was ever any issue with me and Kennedy and I'll try not to care about Garrett not giving a single fuck about me.

***

The next few weeks were pretty boring for me but very exciting for the guys. They planned and met with the label and they spent a lot of their time convincing their parents that this was what they really wanted and that they really wanted to do this. As far as I knew, almost everyone's parents were mostly okay with what they wanted to do. The only problem was, John and Jared still had to go to college and Pat and Garrett still had to finish high school. Other than that, there wasn't really a problem.

They started planning everything out and they were almost out every weekend or after school. That left me and Daisy to study quietly by ourselves. Her goal was to pull her grades up a tad higher before she graduates and my goal was to get grades that could put me at the top of my year. I've been slacking off for the past few weeks but I ignored the distractions and occasionally just hung out with Daisy and if they weren't busy, the guys.

Tonight was one of those nights and we decided to spend the night over at Daisy and do a movie marathon since she complained that it's been a long time since we had one. Everyone cleared their schedules and made sure that they were going to free that night. No studying, no meeting, and no band practice.

I sat on the couch, fumbling with my phone and trying to keep myself busy while everyone was doing their thing. Daisy was talking to John about something (probably another girl problem John has), Kennedy, Pat, and Jared were arguing on what movies we should decide on, and Garrett was the only one helping Julienne prepare the food we were going to eat all night long.

I was set on ignoring everything and everyone until the movie really started, but seeing Garrett go out of the kitchen with multiple bowls in his arms and cups in his hands, I stood up to help him because I'd feel pretty bad if he dropped them all on the floor. He sighed when I took the cups from hands and he looked at me for a brief moment with a tight-lipped smile before spinning on his heels and going back into the kitchen. I was about to go back to fiddling with my phone but when he walked out with his arms full again, I just rolled my eyes and took the plates and the bowls from his hands. After that, I followed him inside the kitchen and helped putting the food out to the living room. After a couple of trips, Julienne gave me the last batch of cookies she was preparing while Garrett had 3 more bottles of Coke in his arms.

When I fell back into my seat, John spoke up. "We should do this more often if it gets you and Garrett together and working as a team again."

"Shut up, John," I rolled my eyes and sunk back into my seat, my eyes going to the screen of my phone again.

"Seriously," he teased, trying to keep his smile off of his face. "Good teamwork."

I pursed my lips and glared into a space, feeling annoyed by John. Then my eyebrows raised at a sudden thought and I smirked at John before turning to the 3 guys arguing about the movies. "Hey guys, I want to watch the second The Grudge 2."

"Wait, what?" John's neck whipped to where the three guys were than back to me.

"Sounds good," Pat agreed and the others nodded along. I bit a laugh back when I saw John looking around like a bird, unsure of what to do. He hated gore and horror. This was just payback for all the teasing.

That movie passed by like a breeze and they decided to watch My Sassy Girl afterwards because John was complaining about having nightmares for at least a decade. But in the middle of the second movie, I began wondering why we call it movie marathon if everyone ended up sleeping anyway. John was sleeping with his head tilted back on the couch while Daisy's legs were thrown on his lap while she slept on the remaining space. Kennedy fell asleep face down on the carpeted floor with Pat beside him and Jared snoring slightly on the recliner.

Garrett was leaning back on the foot of the couch where Daisy was sleeping and I could see his eyes closed so I decided to call it a night and turn the movie off and start cleaning up the mess everyone left. I started off with Pat's place, picking up the paper plates and the paper napkins and then to Jared's but by the time I was off to clean up John's pile of mess, I heard a something crumple and it made my heart jump, startling me and making me have a mini-heart attack.

"Looks like someone's scared from watching The Grudge," he said softly and I could see the smug look on his face even if it was dark.

I rolled my eyes and continued collecting the trash everybody dozed off on. When I looked back at him and saw that he was standing like a statue, I rolled my eyes again. "If you aren't going to sleep, you might as well help me clean this mess up, you know."

"Because my priority in life is to help March O'Callaghan, yeah right," he retaliated but when I ignored him for a few moments, he started picking up trash anyway. I wanted to smack him right at the back of his big head but I kept myself calm and relaxed.

I went to the kitchen quietly and tried not to trip on anything since it was too dark and I was too much of a lazy person to open the lights. I threw the plates and the stacks of paper cups in the bin but when I turned around, I ran into someone (Garrett, obviously since he's the only one awake). I remember the same scent of his bed and his car and the night when we baked together at night. If we weren't mad at each other, I'd hug him. But that wasn't an option right now.

"Watch where you're going," he sputtered. He passed by me and threw his share of trash in the bin.

I glared at him through the dark. "If you haven't noticed, it's freaking dark."

"Why didn't you turn the lights on then?"

"You're the one that ran into me. I didn't need the lights. You did." He was whispering, but screaming. Like he was trying his hardest not to get into a full blown rant about how I bumped into him but he's really going at it. It got me ticked off.

I winced and rolled my eyes at him. "Sorry, Garrett. Did you get a fucking fracture? I'm sorry for running into you," I spoke loudly even though I was worried that I might wake the others."

I brushed past him but he scoffed and stopped me when he spoke up."No. You don't get to make me feel like I'm a jerk because you're the bitch."

"I'm a bitch?" I turned around and although I couldn't see him, I tried to make out his face so that I could glare daggers through his face. "Why am I a bitch? Please enlighten me."

"You know what you did."

"And heaven forbid you let me forget. It's been several months, Garrett." I said quietly, calming down the rage inside me. The line Kennedy told me rang clear through my brain so I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "Move on, Gare. We're all trying to."

"The fact that you think it's easy to move on and to recover from what you've done makes this all so interesting," he said, not letting me slip and pass by. "I'm glad I won't be seeing you as often after junior year."

"Good for you," I said and turned around finally from him to go back to the living room.

As much as it stung, I couldn't let him see that I was affected. I tried putting on a brave and nonchalant face whenever he was around. I tried not letting him under my skin but it was hard when he was really trying to annoy me. And I'm sure that it didn't make me angry. It made me more sad. I knew that there was no way I was going to make it up to him ever because no matter how hard I try, the mistake of me not trusting him was more of a punch in the face.

Everything was ruined. Time doesn't always heal all wounds.