Story of a Girl

I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!! Today was just too much for me. I'm leaving the band. I'm leaving and I'm NEVER, EVER, coming back. I can't be associated with them anymore.

"Guys...can I talk to you?" I ask walking into the lounge.

Everyone turns their head to face me...everyone except Zacky. He just continues to look forward.

"I've done some thinking and...I'm moving to New York." I say. Zack finally faces me.

"What? Why? Nikki no." Val says.

"I just...I just need to get away for a while." I say.

"Your sure?" Matt asks.

I close my eyes and nod my head as I try to keep back the tears. I don't want to leave my friends...but it's for the better. For them...and me.

"Alright..." Matt swallows.

I tuck my hair behind my ears and quietly turn around. As I pack my stuff for New York, I find black hair dye. I've always wanted to use this, but never did because Zack loved my hair the way it was. But you know what...It's time for change. Plus...It'll annoy the shit out of Zack.
I call Val to the bathroom and she helps me with my hair.

An Hour later

"Can I look now?" I ask.

"Yes." Val says handing me a mirror.
"It came out better then I thought it would." She laughs.

"I love it. Thank you." I say putting the mirror down.

Val smiles and wipes her hands free of black hair die. I stand up off the toilet and walk into the hallway. I think I left my Blink 182 sweatshirt out there. I walk to the front of the bus, where my sweatshirt lies on the dashboard. I look out the front window...is that Zack out there? I throw my sweatshirt over my shoulder and quietly open the door to the outside.

Must be your skin that I'm sinking in
Must be for real cos now i can feel
And i didn't mind
It's not my kind
Not my time to wonder why
Every thing's gone white
And every thing's gray
Now you're here now you're away
I don't want this
Remember that
I'll never forget where you're at
Don't let the days go by
Glycerine, Glycerine...

"She's gone." Zacky sniffs leaning in on his guitar.

He couldn't even finish the song...the one he use to sing to me, just me. He looks up into the night sky. A tear falls down his cheek and then he curls up again. I just wanna hold him in my arms and tell him that I love him. Easier said then done. With tears building in my eyes I reopen the door to the bus and walk to my bed. I sit down and hold my head in my hands. Even though I "broke his heart", he still loves me...and I'm leaving tomorrow. I wish I were dead. This should be my death bed.