Hell Above

“Jaack, get off!” The blonde insists for the umpteenth time that morning, drawing the other man’s name into a whine as he attempts to wiggle his way out from under Jack’s weight.

Jack giggles sleepily from his place on top of Alex, nose tucked into the crook of the blonde’s neck and arms draped lazily by his sides on the mattress. Alex can feel the vibration of Jack’s laugh against his throat, grinning despite his fussing at the sensation. He rolls his eyes, shifting in the sheets as Jack presses further into him.

The younger’s eyes slip closed again, this really adorable grin still present on his lips. “Jack, c’mon I gotta go.” Alex protests, only half honest in his attempts to actually disentangle Jack from on top of him.

Jack shakes his head, refusing to falter in his effort to keep Alex in bed with him as long as possible. This squabble between the two had somehow managed to become quite routine over the past few weeks. Nearly every morning, Jack thinks up some way to keep Alex from heading to work (it’s usually just rolling on top of the elder when he tries to get out of bed, because Jack is by far not the most enthusiastic or creative person before noon).

The only time that he’s succeeded so far was one brutally cold morning earlier in the month where an unexpected cold front had blown in the night before – needless to say it hadn't taken much convincing for Alex to ditch meeting clients in favor of a warm bed and a cuddle buddy as cute as Jack that time.

Right now though, the blonde seems to be relentless in his decision to go. Jack lifts his head off the elder’s chest, fixing Alex with his best attempt at a pout as a last resort. Alex simply rolls his eyes, leaning up on his elbows and kissing the younger.

Jack sits up then, pulling Alex up with him by the collar of the old t-shirt the elder is wearing, one of Jack’s he’d snagged from the bottom of their shirt drawer. Jack kisses him, smiling when Alex’s tongue licks out against his closed lips. The younger complies easily, all uneasy clouded thoughts about Alex leaving soon to meet his clients gone as he opens his mouth to let the elder in.

There’s this brief tightening in his chest, some weird fuzzy sensation that lingers just long enough to hurt when Alex pulls back and smiles at him, eyes wide and warm and familiar. Jack’s grown used to this feeling around the blonde over the years, thinks it’s somewhere between feeling at home and feeling in love. He loosens his grip on the front of Alex’s (Jack’s) t-shirt, letting his hand drop to his side as he tries to force back the words he wants to voice so fucking badly.

Jack drops his gaze to his lap, fingers tugging thoughtlessly at the hem on his boxer leg. Alex must have noticed his mood change, seen the corners of the younger’s lips turn down ever so slightly. The elder brings his hand up, curling his fingers under Jack’s jaw and forcing their eyes to meet.

Jack is saved from speaking when What Gets You Off picks up sound from his phone, Vinny’s self-chosen ringtone altering the younger that the Italian just unknowingly saved him from ruining his and Alex’s relationship by admitting something totally stupid. He groans, despite the mental thanks he sends to Vinny, as he reaches over and picks up his cellphone to answer the call.

“Hey.” Is his best attempt at a greeting, it’s only 10:07 for fuck’s sake and Alex is giving him this look that’s clearly silently asking if he’s okay. Jack just nods, slipping off of the elder’s lap and allowing the other man to stand to his feet while Jack settles on the edge of the bed, facing the window that’s practically throwing daylight in his face.

“Jack-o.” Is Vinny’s response, the ever enthusiastic tone very much present in those two syllables. Alex leans down and presses his lips to the side of Jack’s cheek, smooth lips meeting rough stubble, leaning up and throwing a shy smile Jack’s way before heading off to shower.

“It’s really early, Vin.” Jack voices, averting his eyes from the en suite doorway that Alex had just passed through to the too bright window in front of him. He can see the city from his position on the bed, traffic and people and things that Jack doesn't want to deal with, doesn't want Alex to go have to deal with.

Vinny chuckles through the phone, and despite the unhappiness that had managed to wedge itself under Jack’s skin in the last few minutes he still smiles at the sound. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I know.” Jack lays back down, feet still dangling off the edge of the mattress. “I wanted to ask you if you’d wanna do something soon. Like, you, me, and Xander have a boy’s day or something?”

Jack’s lips curl up at the Italian’s words, a real and genuine smile taking over his face. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

There’s a brief pause on the other end of the line, silence that Jack assumes is actually just Vinny nodding instead of answering, and then the other man is asking, “Okay. Are you okay?”

Jack closes his eyes, free hand coming up to run through his unbrushed hair as he sighs. “I’m just – I don’t know.” He hears the shower shut off in the bathroom.

“You know you can tell me anything, right Jack?” It’s the first time Vinny has called him by his name in quite a while, and the way the Italian’s voice dropped all of the light, airy tone it had held really stands out somehow as Jack thinks over the words. There’s a certain weight to them that Jack can’t place. He’s about to speak again, but then there’s a dip in the mattress beside him.

He opens his eyes to meet honey ones, Alex’s expression still worrisome as he looks down at Jack from his seated position on the bed. He doesn't say anything, just leans over and presses another kiss to Jack’s lips, pulling back after lingering against the younger’s mouth for just a moment.

Jack is quick to curl his hand behind the elder’s neck, pulling him back down for a second kiss before letting him go, mumbling “Be careful.”

Alex simply nods before getting off of the bed and leaving the room.

“I know Vin.” Jack reassures finally, returning his attention to their conversation when he hears the apartment door shut behind Alex.

He hears Vinny sigh, and then the Italian says, “Is it you and Alex?”

It sort of throws Jack off, hearing Vinny refer to Alex by his actual name for once as well. He doesn't reply right away, instead twists around on the mattress so that he’s lying on his side, phone pressed against his head on the side not against the bed. After thinking through his words, he speaks up again.

“Yeah, it’s more me and less Alex, though. I guess I just don’t really know what to do.”

Vinny is quick to ask, “Did something happen?”

“No, it’s just – shit, I have all these feelings and I want to tell him so bad, Vin. I can’t though, I can’t risk fucking everything up because I’m too impatient to keep it unsaid.”

Vinny sighs again. Jack briefly wonders if he’s actually annoying the Italian, but then said man is speaking over his worries. “I don’t think it would fuck anything up. Alex isn't stupid, Jack. He knows that you feel something more than what you’re letting on, I think he’s known for a while, in all honesty. I just don’t think he really wanted to accept it until he realized he felt the same.” The Italian recites this all in such a tired monotone. They've been through this exact conversation many times before, more so in the weeks since Alex and Jack crossed the threshold over best friend territory.

“He’s not in love with me.” Jack deadpans.

“I just don’t think you should doom it all without even considering the possibility.” Vinny counters.

“Vinny, you and I both know that Alex doesn't –” Jack begins, tone firm and growing in intensity, but he’s cut off, the beep of his phone signaling another incoming call.

Jack sighs, pulling the cellphone away from his face and reading over the number flashing on the screen before setting it back to his ear. “Hold on, I’ll call you back okay?” He says, waiting for Vinny to hang up before accepting the second call.

He rolls over onto his back again, using his thumb to accept the call, and running a hand through his tangled hair. “Hi, mom.”