Different Dimension

Zack shoved his hands in his pockets as he headed out of his dorm building, shivering slightly in the cold January air. It had been a week since he got back from the winter break, and things still weren’t right with Martin. Zack had been trying to ignore it, almost so he didn’t have to process it, but Martin had texted him a few minutes ago, asking him to come over. And it sounded ominous, which didn’t help Zack’s nerves at all. Who could blame him for thinking the worst?

It didn’t take him long to reach Martin’s building, too wrapped up in his thoughts to pay attention really, and before he knew it he was standing in front of Martin’s door. Why was he so nervous to see his own boyfriend? Zack just couldn’t shake off the uneasy feeling Martin’s text had given him. He definitely shouldn’t be feeling this level of anxiety. He’d never been this nervous around anyone before – and now was not the time to start.

So taking a deep breath for courage, Zack knocked on the door. Within seconds, Martin opened it, smiling widely when he saw him. So far so good?

“Hey! That was fast!” Martin said happily.

Zack was a little stunned as Martin tugged him forward into a soft kiss, Martin just kicking the door shut behind him. What the fuck?

“So you’re not going to break up with me?” Zack blurted.

“Why on earth would I do that?” Martin frowned.

“All you said is ‘We need to talk. Come over’. Not exactly reassuring, Martin,” Zack grumbled.

Martin blushed slightly. “Okay so I could’ve worded that better. I just really do think we need to talk,”

“About what?” Zack asked hesitantly.

“About the fact that things haven’t really been okay between us since I accused you of having feelings for your ex?” Martin offered, wincing.

Wow. That was blunt.

“No, they haven’t,” Zack murmured.

Zack couldn’t lie and say he hadn’t noticed how strained their relationship had been since the first day back from Winter Break. He’d been giving Martin some space, some time to get over the fact that Zack was still best friends with his ex, and to be truthful he needed some space himself. The accusations had hurt, and he needed a step back from the intensity of their relationship to get over that.

But a week like this? A week without the easy comfort that Martin used to give him? It was horrible. And Zack just wanted it to be over. Not their relationship, oh no, but this awful tension that wasn’t there before.

Martin sighed. “I want things to be okay between us again, Zack. So can we please just talk?”

Zack just nodded. It was obvious that Martin needed this just as much as he did.

“Thank you. I know you seem to think otherwise, but I’m not the most pleasant of people and it takes a lot for me to trust someone. But you make it so easy. Being with you makes me so genuinely happy and there are no words for how grateful I am. You make me want to be a better person, all the time,”

Zack couldn’t stop the wide smile that spread across his lips. That was the sweetest thing Martin had ever said to him. That anyone had ever said to him, to be honest. Especially Martin.

Martin swallowed heavily, but smiled back.

“I don’t want you to ever think, for one second, that I don’t trust you, because I do. I’ve just got a lot of insecurities, which I know you think are ridiculous, but they are there. And I could see how much he cares for you, how truly he loves you, and it hurt me,”

“Martin, you know I’d never…”

“I know, I know,” Martin nodded, smiling softly as he interrupted, “And I believe you. I just don’t know how to make it right so you’ll trust me again, how to get us back to how we were,”

Zack chewed his bottom lip, looking down at his lap in silence, until Martin shifted forwards so their legs were pressed together.

“Please say that we can get back there?”

“I want to, I do. But you accusing me of still having feelings for Matt and insinuating that I’d cheat on you with him? That hurt me more than anything, Martin. You can’t do that to me. You can’t hurt me like that,”

Martin’s eyes pricked with tears and he nodded, only making Zack feel worse.

“I miss you so much. I miss you being free and happy around me, being your usual dorky self. I miss spending all my free time with you. Shit, I even miss Paul scolding me for ‘corrupting his freshman’. I just…I hate that I messed us up,”

“I miss you too,” was all Zack was able to say.

Because he did. Zack missed all those things and more. He whimpered as Martin leant his forehead on his, closing his eyes so he didn’t have to look at Martin’s sorrow-filled eyes. How could this boy, this one boy, affect his emotions so much? How was it even possible.

“I miss you, because I think I’m falling in love with you, Zack,” Martin said softly.

Zack inhaled sharply, body rearing away from Martin’s. Martin…Martin was falling in love with him. Holy shit.

Martin saw the shock in Zack’s eyes and panicked.

“I-I know we’ve only been together officially for two months. But I can’t help the way that I feel. I understand if it’s too soon but…”

Zack froze as Martin continued to rant, words washing over him. This…This was intense. This was…fuck, how should he respond? Did he feel the same way?

Of course he did. This was Martin.

“…and you make my day just by walking in the room, your smile making all my negativity just melt away and…”

He pressed a finger to Martin’s lips, interrupting him. “I’m falling in love with you too,”

Zack couldn’t deny that he loved how Martin’s eyes lit up, and he dropped his finger to see Martin smiling nervously.

“Really?” Martin asked hopefully.

Zack just nodded, biting his bottom lip briefly. Yes, he hadn’t put the intensity of his feelings under a firm label before, but he knew what they meant. And he meant it with every fibre of his being – he was falling in love with Martin. Martin.

He knew that they’d be okay now. Now that they’d admitted how they truly felt, now he’d gotten past Martin’s strong walls to reveal the vulnerability he hid, they would be okay.

“Are you okay?” Martin asked, smiling, one hand rising to cup Zack’s face.

“Yeah, just processing,” Zack admitted, making Martin laugh.

Zack pressed a gentle kiss to Martin’s palm, eyes never leaving Martin’s, earning a hitched breath from his boyfriend. But it wasn’t just a breath of surprise. No, it was much more than that, if Martin’s blown pupils and flushed cheeks were anything to go by.

Martin wanted him. Wanted all of him. Fuck, it was so easy to tell, just from that simple kiss.

What did Zack want? Obviously he was no stranger to gay sex, and everything he and Martin had done together had only left him wanting more…but was he ready for this? Were they ready for this, after everything that had happened recently? He couldn’t deny that he’d thought about it before, about how much he wanted Martin, because hello he was a teenager. It only took one suggestively placed hand to get Zack ready and raring to go, and Martin just exuded sex appeal. But were they ready?

Zack took one look at the earnest expression on Martin’s face, how much he wanted Zack paired with a soft tender look of adoration, and his mind was made up.

“What’s wrong, Zack?” Martin aske softly.

“Can we, um…”

Zack trailed off, trying to gather his confidence.

“I want you. I want to have sex with you,”

Martin swallowed heavily, making Zack blush slightly. Did he really just say that? He knew he tended to speak his mind without thinking more often than not, but he’d never been that blunt before.

“Are you sure?”

Zack smiled slightly at the unspoken words. Are you sure that we’re ready? It was that care and concern that made Zack nod.

“Yeah, I’m sure,”

Martin made a helpless noise, before pressing a soft kiss to Zack’s lips, a slow kiss that left Zack shivering. Fuck, how this boy affected him.

“You have no idea how much I’ve thought about this, about us,” Martin breathed, kissing down Zack’s neck.

Oh wow. That was a nice revelation.

Now he gets Martin to talk when they’re intimate.

“Oh yeah? What have you thought about?” Zack grinned.

Martin laughed, planting his hands on Zack’s chest and pushing slightly to make Zack lie down flat, Martin covering his body with his own.

“Thought about how good you’re going to feel, how hot and perfect you’ll be,” Martin murmured, kissing down Zack’s neck again, nipping at his collarbone.

Zack couldn’t help but moan softly as he thought about it too, eyes slipping closed as Martin slid his hands up Zack’s t-shirt, pushing the offending material up to his armpits to reveal his bare chest.

“Thought about how good you’re going to feel, how well you’re going to fill me up,”

Yeah, that would…wait, what?

“Thought about you’re going to pound into me, using me however you want,”

Okay, what?

Zack opened his eyes and propped himself up on his elbows, staring down at Martin in confusion. Martin continued to mouth along the skin above the waistband of his jeans, until he noticed that Zack had frozen.

“What’s wrong? Am I going to fast?” Martin asked, frowning.

“No, no, I just…I thought you’d be fucking me,” Zack admitted.

“I’m not a top, Zack, not really,” Martin grimaced.

Oh.

“I’ve, uh, I’ve never topped before,”

Martin’s grimace turned to a fond smile. “Do you want to?”

“Do you want me to? I mean, you’re older and probably have more experience…”

“Being older doesn’t mean I automatically top,” Martin pointed out, “You’re, like, a receiver’s wet dream, so strong and caring, with your body so ripped and perfect,”

Zack just blushed. His boyfriend was offering himself completely – Matt had never even given him the option. Like, ever. It just showed how incredible Martin was, to be honest.

“I’d like to. But I don’t know what I’m doing, not really,” Zack winced.

Sure, he’d had a lot of sex with Matt – he knew the logistics. And sure, he’d watched a lot of porn – he knew what went where. But actually doing it?

Martin just grinned. “Lie on your back. I’ll take care of you,”

Holy shit.

How had the evening turned from an assumed break-up to sex? Well, Zack wasn’t going to complain. Zack grinned back as Martin straddled him, eagerly peeling off his t-shirt as Martin peeled off his own.

“Fuck, you have no idea how good you look, lying there, ready for me to ride,” Martin groaned, circling his hips.

“Not ready yet,” Zack smirked, reaching for the zipper of Martin’s jeans, fingers brushing over the bulge of his crotch.

Martin just moaned.