Let My Love Open the Door to Your Heart

I'm leaning against the wall in the room texting Jade since Mike is over there with the guys. Lindsay came over and looks at me.

"What?" I ask.
"Who are you talking to?"
"Jade about Mike."
"ok, are you doing OK?"
"Yeah."

I smile at her. She sighs.

"I know you don't know a lot if my girls but you all are important to me,” She said.

I smile at her and she walks away where Crystal is. I shake my head and go back to texting Jade. Taylor came and sits down next to me. I give her a hug.

"Hey Tay," I said.
"Hey. You seemed happier at my and Spencer's wedding," She said.
"My parents and I fought."
"About this boyfriend you have?"
"You know about him?"
"Spencer asked when we came to visit them why you haven't been seen and Lindsay said between Mike, work, and the boyfriend that you to busy."
"When did you visit?"
"The off week."
"You want to see Spencer?"
"Are you going to give them a hard time?"
"Yes."
"I'm in."

I go over to Lindsay and she smiles at me.

"I need to go talk to Mike," I said.
"Why?"
"Spencer thought Blake was joking and took Mike's cookie. Mike is not happy and wants to go away from the cookie stealers."
"Got it. Taylor going with you?"
"Yeah. She knows where they are at."
"OK."

I walk to the guys’ room and text Jade to open the door. Jade opens it and smiles at me. He looks at Taylor and smile.

"Lindsay's brothers are gone for a bit too," he said.

We step in and Ryan smiles at me.

"Hey," he said.
"Remember that time you had friends visit you?" I ask.
"Yeah it was Spencer and Taylor."
"You’re in trouble," Spencer said.
"We text all the time," I said.

Ryan and Spencer look at each other then point at Taylor.

"What did you do?" Ryan asks.
"Just ask about her boyfriend," Taylor said.
"This is all on Lindsay," Spencer said.
"You two have brains and know I like spending time with you."
"I don't like it when you two spend time together," Ryan said.
"I'm sorry tonight we mess with Ryan like cold time,” Spencer said.
"Good idiots."
"So this boyfriend?"
"Yes boyfriend?"
"Roczen."
"Ken here?" Mike asks.
"No. You see him tomorrow" I said.
"We need to head back before Lindsay is freaking out,” Taylor said.

I nod my head and Spencer hugs me.

"We will take no as an answer when we go next time," he said.
"Good idiot. I like you."
"I don't like this,” Ryan said.
"Shut up she picks on us all the time," Jade said.
"Yeah,” Blake said.

I wave and go to the room with Lindsay again. I stay at the back since I already did my hair and makeup. Taylor came and sits next to me.

"Want to see pictures?" I ask.
"How long have you been together?"
"Daytona," I said.
"Aw. Show me."

I grab my phone and start showing her pictures that I took with Ken.

"When was this?" She asks.

I look over and see it's a picture from my birthday.

"My birthday. So a couple weeks ago," I said.
"You look hot. You need to be wearing things like this more."
"My brother is watching my son. He flips on something not as tight or low."
"Stupid brothers."

I laugh and talk to her about Ken some. Crystal came and we smile at her.

"Did Jeremy come?" Taylor asks.
"Yeah. What you too talking about?" Crystal asks.
"Kids."
"Who's kids?"
"Her son and Saige."

Crystal looks at me.

"Mike he is three. He is going to be the ring barrier," I said.
"Right. He ran when I was at the house one day."
"Yeah. He's shy."
"Like you."

I nod my head and she goes over to Megan.

"She doesn't like you," She said.
"Yeah, never really has. I don’t know why.”
"You and Jeremy Martian never had anything going on did you?"
"No. Our parents both thought that it be cute is we got together."
"But you didn't?"
"Naw. My dad brought it up Easter. There times I think he was doing it at the end of outdoors. I talked with Alex more. I always end up talking to Alex then Jeremy."

She smiles and we get in our dresses and go to the wedding. I walk down the wedding with one of Lindsey’s brothers. I look at Mike as he comes down. He goes to Whitney once Lindsay stands up. We get through and I go over to Mike and pick him up. He grabs my face and blow in it.

"You had fun with your Uncles?" I ask.
"And Spencer?" He asks.
"Yeah with Spencer too."
"It was fun. I like Spencer."
"Spencer is a cool guy. Do you Remember Taylor?"
"Tay-Tay," Mike said.

I nod my head and go over to Taylor.

"Hello Mike," Taylor said.
"Hi Tay-Tay," He said.
"You look good in your suit," She said.
"Thank you."

The four of us talked before Whitney takes Mike to the reception. I get in the buss that is to transport the wedding party. I sit down and start texting Ken. Spencer hands me a cup. I look at it and take a sip.

"Thanks," I said since its rum and Coke.
"Make up for not asking to see you more?" He asks.
"Yes but how should we embarrass Ryan?"
"I don't know."

We start talking and Jade looks at us making me think of a great idea.

"This is Lindsay’s fault too right?" I ask.
"Yes."
"You and Jade should give Lindsay a Sexy dance. It will be funny."
"We got to ask Taylor and him."

I grab my phone and text Taylor and Jade. They both text me yes. Spencer and I talk about it till we get to the receptions. We go inside and deal with them till we wit down. I smile seeing that Spencer and Taylor are with us.

"Where is Ken?" My dad asks.
"He ate something bad," Mike said.

My dad looks at him then me.

"He got food poising," I said since he got a little but it passed in the night.
"That sucks," Jade said.
"Why?" Taylor said.
"She has to drive and can't drink."
"She's only 19 Jade," My mom said.
"She moved to another country when she was 16 so is she really 19?"
"Jade stop," I said.

He looks at me.

"This is not the place. We are happy for Ryan and Lindsay," I said.
"Of course."

I smile and kiss Mike's forehead. Whitney and I talk with Mike till the party is starting. I look at Mike and know he wants to go to the hotel room.

"We going to go say bye to Uncle Ryan and Aunt Lindsay ok," I told him.
"Ok."

I get him and go over where Ryan and Lindsay are talking to people. I pick him up and Ryan smiles and grab Mike form me.

"Hey buddy," Ryan said.
"Bye," He said.
"Leaving?" He asks.
"It's loud," Mike said.
"Got it."

Mike waves his hand in front of Lindsey then hug Ryan.

"What you need?" Lindsay asks looking at Mike.
"I wave bye," Mike said.
"Oh bye Mike," Lindsay said.

She looks at me.

"Are you leaving too?" She asks.
"He needs to go to bed," I said.
"Yeah but your parents can take him home with them."
"Mommy puts me to Bed," Mike said.

Lindsay looks at him because there were slight elevation to show him being angry but I know he's not.

"Ok Mike."

I get Mike and hug Ryan.

"I’m happy for you,” I said.
"Thanks."

He kisses my head.

"You didn't mess with me with Spencer," Ryan said.
"Or did I?" I ask.

He looks at me then Lindsay.

"Of course you came up with the dance," Ryan said.
"Why did you do that?" She asks.
"I hang out with Spencer," I said.

I walk out to my family and Mike says by to them. I say by to Jade and Whitney. I go to the hall way and call ken.

"Hey," Ken said.
"Hey. Where are you?"
"I got turn around. It says five minutes."
"Ok call me and we meet you out there."
"Good idea. Bye."
"Bye."

I hang up and look at Mike.

"We forgot to say bye to Blake," I told him.
"Ken coming?"
"To pick us up. Let's say bye to Blake."
"Ok."

I get up and take him over where Blake is.

"Hey," He said.
"Hey we leaving," I told him.
"Can we talk?"

I nod my head and go to the hallway with him.

"I know what I don't like about Ken," Blake said.
"What?"
"He tries to be a dad to Mike."
"No he doesn't. He never disciplined Mike. He always asks me if things are ok."
"You barely discipline Mike."
"He's a good kid that's why."
"If he has to ask you for every single thing then it might not be good?"
"He doesn't ask me about every single thing just thinks like can Mike have a cookie. Things that people should run by their parents when they are there."
"What does that mean?"
"When I’m there and Mike asks for cookies you say no or yes without looking at me at times. You tried to tell me how to feed him and what's best for him."
"You are young."
"So don't you think being a good mom is the thing I worry about most and don't need my family to try to raise him?"

We hear footsteps and I see my dad.

"Hey dad," He said.
"What are you two talking about?" My dad said.
"Nothing" I said.
"Ok go inside,” My dad said looking at Blake.

Blake goes inside. My dad looks at me.

"Have you drank before?" He ask.
"Yeah when I was 14 and 15, I was drinking a lot. You and Mom just never notice it,” I said.

He looks at me.

"You were acting out a lot before you became pregnant,” He said.
"Yeah I saw that with Jade and Blake that it worked to get your attention form Ryan. When I’m winning didn't work anymore I moved on to what has worked with my brothers."
"What does that mean?"
"When I start wanting to be more feminine you pretty much ignored me in less I was on the bike. It was becoming infrequent so I did things to get you and mom to punish me but you guys never notice it or cared to discipline me."
"You would have thrown a fit. Your fits are not something I want to deal with."
"Yeah when I got pregnant I realized that you didn't want a daughter."
"That's not true but your fits are bad."
"Little fits didn't get your attention the big ones did."
"That is a lie."
"True the big fits didn't always get your attention either."

He looks at me and then Mike.

"You need to think about him and he needs father figure in his life," He said.
"I'm working on it."
"You should have let me and your mom raised him."
"You wouldn't be able to handle him."
"We raised four kids."
"Right."

I rolled my eyes and Mike look at him.

"Bye Grandpa," Mike said.
"Mike do you want to stay with me and Grandma?"
"No. I will live with Mommy."
"Right. What if Ken moved in."
"That be cool. He can take me widding with him and Adam."

I laughs and kiss Mike's head.

"How did you get him to like Ken so much?" He asks.
"He was Mike favorite 250 rider so was Marvin. They were team mates with Ryan so it worked out well. This was before I ever meet him."

My dad looks at me then at Mike who is laying on my shoulder knowing he's tired.

"Why don't you believe me?" I ask.
"Because I can't see you being this loving towards a child."

I sigh and look at my dad and know that my mom didn't tell him about anything I did after I got raped.

"Dad there was a drastic change. People notice it at my last race. I didn't do interviews since I heard the whispers. You never notice that the change. It was for two months but it was there," I said.
"You don't hate him."
"I felt dead and worthless. I was pregnant and I got the rights taken away so adoption will be finalize
and he can't ruined a family life buy trying to take his son away. I had a family lined up but I was a month early and I hold Mike and I felt my heart beat for the first time in eight months. God gave me Mike to live life again."

My dad opens his mouth a few times before he turns and walks back inside. I sigh and start heading out knowing Ken will be here soon. I hear footsteps. I look and see Spencer coming.

"Hey you leaving?" he asks.
"Yeah."
"Let me walk you out. You don't want to be alone."
"Ken will be here soon."
"Still don't want you to be out here alone."
"Thanks Spencer," I said.
"No problem."

We walk outside and I see Ken in the truck. He gets out and stops seeing Spencer since his arm is around my shoulder. Mike looks at Ken and smiles.

"Ken," Mike said.
"Hey," Ken said.
"Spec is here," Mike said.
"Right."

I smile and hug Ken and kiss his lips. He looks at me and smiles.

"You look nice," He said.
"That's sweet," I said since I hate the dress.

I hand Mike to Ken.

"Ken this is Spencer Dally. He's a family friend that is like a cousin to me. He's married to a girl name Taylor," I said.
"Tay-Tay," Mike said.
"Right. We meet a few times with you around the pit,” Spencer said.
"Yes we have."

Ken looks at me when the wind came since I move closer to him.

"You need to get in the car," Ken said to me."

I nod my head. Spencer hugs me.

"Your dad will come around. I think what you said got him thinking about things," Spencer said.
"Ok be."
"Bye."

He kiss my hair then Kiss Mike's and Ken open my car and close it then get Mike in his car seat then get in his seat and start driving back to the hotel.

"Hate the Dress?" Ken asks.
"I have boobs and that's it," I said.
"Well they are looking good."
"Right I forgot you like them."
"You give make them easy to look at."

I laugh and he drives to the hotel. I get out and get Mike out. We go to my and Mike's room. I get him to bed then get change in sweat pants and a tank top. I sit down and Ken looks at me.

"You are feeling ok?" Ken asks.
"I feel like my family is falling apart with me."
"You are telling them things you been holding back for four years almost. It's hard warp their heads around. The space you put up is good for them."

I look at him since Ryan and Jade both think that time is not good to resolve the issues.

"Who do you say that?" I ask.
"When me and my dad fought we stop talking. It made us both think about our actions. When I was on the podium at A1 and I saw him. I knew he got it. It didn't fist things right away but it lead to it."
"Thanks Ken."

He kisses my forehead before he let a sigh out.

"That means you need to work on your relationships too. You’re not Ryan, Jade or Blake. You have a different relationship because you’re their only girl and the baby."
"Princesses. Blake is the baby."

He laughs and smiles at me.

"You have to open the door to them," He said.
"I try."
"Good and I be there with you. You’re not alone anymore."

I feel the tears coming and he warps me in his arms.

"It's ok Jezebel," Ken said.

I nod my head and look at him. He smiles at me and kiss my lips. I pull away and lay my head on his shoulder and start playing with his fingers falling asleep in his arms.