One Heart With Two Owners

*Syn P.O.V.*

"You are pregnant?" I repeated the words over and over again.

But that didn't help me to realise this situation right now. I was about to become a father to probably the worst timing ever. It's not that I ever had dreamt about this moment and getting the news from my wife, but it was not the best moment right now. I was anything else than happy right now. I even couldn't think that this was actually true. It might be even a lie just to get me back though it wasn't making any sense to me. I was a little bit caught between that. If I would stay here I would be a really bad person for leaving my pregnant girl behind and if I would come with her I would lose Zacky probably forever.
I looked at his cold face, standing quietly there and waiting for a response. As much as I wished to make a decision right now I couldn't do it. I felt like I was drifted away again after finally choosing Zacky as my partner. Please could anyone just poke me and I wake up in my bed next to him. I was sick and tired from making decisions and being in all this misery. I wanted my old, happy and maybe even boring life back and the most important thing: I want Zacky as my partner, not only best friend.

"Yes I am" she said in her squeaking high voice looking at me really excited.

I sighed out loud, run with my hand through the hair and looked at both of them. Because I couldn't make a decision there was just one thing to do.

"I hope you don't mind me, Michelle, but I want to sleep before I will make a decision about this. I'm so confused right now, mixed with so much emotions that I can't focus on anything right now. I will give you a call tomorrow."

I tried to smile and showed her the way to the door then. I only said goodbye with no hug or kiss. It was just like I would say that to a stranger. Maybe my heart had already made a decision, it just had to reach my mind now.
When I went back to the living room I saw Zacky sitting on the couch, arms crossed and staring on the TV that was still turned off. I didn't know what to say right now because I didn't want to destroy the situation. The moment before Michelle was knocking was gone. We went back to a fucking damn friend’s mode.

"Why haven't you been going with her?" Zacky said after a little while without looking at me.

"Why should I?" I shrugged and noticed that it was actually a stupid question to ask.

"Why?" he turned around and couldn't probably believe I really had asked that.

"Are you serious with that? Do you think I would jump on Michelle's statement and go back home, pretending nothing happened?" I got closer to Zacky while pointing to the door "I might make mistakes, Zacky, but I don't make one twice. She left me after she found out about us, she throw me out of 'my' house and then she thinks she can come back telling me of her pregnancy in hope I would be bouncing of joy? No! Who even knows that this is true?! Maybe I'm not even the father, who the fuck knows that. But I know one thing, Zacky, I love you, only you, and takes a bit more for me to leave you after you gave me a shelter."

I was finished. His expression didn't really change and I didn't had much hope that he would answer to this so I went upstairs. He would need some time to think through that and hopefully see why I chose him over her.

In these kind of moments I hoped Jimmy would still be with us. He would listen to me right now and giving me new strength to fight for what I loved the most. Since he was gone I felt that a little part of me went with him. Maybe he wasn't on earth with us, but I knew a place where I always could go, where I could be closer to him: The Good Shepard Cemetery. So I grabbed my jacket that was lying on the bed and went downstairs again.

By walking down I saw that Zacky had grabbed his guitar to play a few chords on it. It wasn't a particular song, but he usually did that when he was thinking through a few things. I stopped for a few seconds to listen to that. I leaned on the wall, placed myself that he wouldn't see me and just enjoying him playing. Many people underestimated his talent, said he would just play in the background because he actually can't play one simple chord. We all knew it wasn’t true and since I’m gone I hoped he would get a chance to show the people his talent.
I already had defended him in school, when people attacked him, giving him names and so I continued during our time in the band.

“And all my life, I’ve been waiting for someone like you…to make me smile…to make me feel alive…and you’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted in life…you make me smile, and I forget to breathe…what’s an angel like you ever do with a devil like me?”

Quietly I was singing these lines to the song he was playing. I don’t know why I had that song in my head, I just tried to express my feelings. I felt secure around him, but now he should get a chance to think through about something. That’s why I was leaving the house quietly.

*Zacky P.O.V.*

I felt like I was the worst dick ever on this fucking earth. I knew that Syn loved me and wouldn’t leave me for Michelle again, but I was still afraid that this was just a dream. So many people hurt me before and I just built a wall around me to protect myself. It was pretty dumb and childish I knew that by myself but I couldn’t help it.
All I wanted was to be on his side, holding him and just dream ourselves far away. Like at some place where no one could disturb us, a place where we could live without being scared that we aren’t accepted of being a couple. That Matt would have his problems with this was quite clear to me but that he would let him go without fighting was a surprise for everyone.
Maybe he had no strength to fight anymore. Since Jimmy died we all had our doubts if this would make any sense to go on. Though we continued the little spirit in our band was gone. I could accept that or keep denying it. Syn left the band at a right time. So he would maybe avoid the absolute disaster for our band. Maybe it was the time to focus more on my clothes brand while he concentrates on helping other people making music.

I heard him leaving the house and there was just one destination where he might be going now: Jimmy’s grave.
Jimmy was our best friend but Syn was pretty close to him the whole time. They’ve shared a lots of secrets with each other, hang out all the time and pranked people in our hometown. He lost an attachment figure when Jimmy died and that’s why he was going to his grave all the time he needed to tell someone his problems.
So I decided to follow him since I’ve had no idea what I should be doing here. I wasn’t helping anyone there and I had to show him that I wasn’t that cold as he might thought I was.

The Cemetery wasn’t that far away and I already saw Syn kneeling down in front of Jimmy’s grave. That could get ugly later but that wasn’t our main problem right now. I was sick of that on and off relationship we’ve had the last days and I finally wanted to change that.

“Syn” I whispered when I was standing behind him.

He didn’t turn around but how I saw his hand on his face, probably brushing away his tears.

“I just wanted to tell you what asshole I was a bit earlier. But I just didn’t want anyone distracting us from the moment and the least person I wanted to see was Michelle telling you about her pregnancy. I don’t want to leave you again but I’m afraid I will lose you to Michelle again. You will become a happy family while I will be the lonely loser again. First time in my life I think I found the right one. I never really admitted my feelings to you, but it is only of I protect myself. I would be happy if you could come back home with me.”

I kneeled down holding his hands into mine. Now or never. I waited impatiently for his answer. My hands were slightly sweating in his hand, shivering a little bit and my heart pounded really fast.

“There’s no decision to be made, Zacky. You know that I choose you over anyone else. I just wanted to give you some time to realise that by yourself. If Michelle is really pregnant and I’m the father I will help her raising it but right now I don’t think this is really true. She’s addicted to a kind of lifestyle and that’s what she wants. Her parents stopped to be giving her any money months ago. I assume she needs someone financing her luxurious life. You don’t need to be scared since I will always be with you. No matter what. We went through good and bad times and that continues for probably the rest of our life.”

“Wow” I chuckled a little bit “When did you started to talk so trashy?”

He just shrugged and we both got up.

“Zacky, I got a message from Matt by the way.”

“What is he writing?”

“He told me how the tour went and wants me to come back. I don’t think it is a really bad idea since I would be closer to you then too. I can work for other bands when we are home, as a kind of side project you know. It is the thing we love the most.”

“So does that mean everything is solved?”

“I don’t know but I guess if he asks me to come back. We are no little kids anymore. You can talk and I guess I’m going to invite him for tomorrow if you don’t mind. It is no solution to go on like this. And no matter what I’m on your side. He needs to learn to accept that.”

I really had no idea what I should be saying to that. I was completely speechless. Syn had touched my heart and I pulled him to me to kiss him onto his lips. Not passionately or forcing, it was just a simple kiss but I put all my feelings behind that. It felt good tasting his lips again. I was pretty sure now he was mine now. Forever.