In the Shallows

"Daryl fucking Dixon!" I was hot on Daryl's trail into the stables, I crossed my arms tightly across my chest as I gave him the dirtiest of all looks, "God so help me, I will use my new found strength and glue you to a fucking tree." I groaned as he continued to ignore me, I quickly stood in front of him, "Stop!" I stripped the saddle from his hands and threw it on the ground, "Just stop!" I ran my hands through my hair as he finally looked me straight in my eyes, I started to whisper, "I know what it means looking for Sophia, Daryl. I really do. I can see it in your eyes. But, you stabbed yourself, fell down a fucking hill into rocks, and you got shot. Please don't do this."

Daryl's blue eyes hardened as he pushed past me and picked up the saddle, I just groaned in frustration. I watched closely as he started the horse ready for him to ride, my head turned towards Carol who rushed in, she gave me a strange look before walking up to Daryl.

"You can't." She said, walking up towards him.

He grunted out, "I'm fine."

I squinted my eyes as he answered Carol, "You're not fine, Daryl. You're going to hurt yourself-"
Carol cut me off, "-Hershel said you need to heal." She gave me an apologetic look and I raised my hands up and back up slightly. If Carol wanted this moment, then so be it.

Daryl continued to ignore eye contact and started to saddle up the horse, "Yeah, I don' care."

Her voice was so sweet and innocent and I suddenly wondered what my voice sounded like in moments like these, "Well, I do. Rick's going out later to follow the trial."

"Yeah well, I ain't gonna sit 'round and do nothin'."

Carol crossed her arms, "No, you're gonna go out there and get yourself hurt even worse." She sighed at his silence, "We don't know if we're gonna find her, Daryl." That not only made Daryl stop in his tracks but it made my jaw drop to the floor. Since when the hell did Carol give up hope? "We don't." She shifted in her stance at the look he gave her and if I were her, I would have quickly taken back what I said. I knew that look. "I don't." Carol said softly.

"What?"

"Can't lost you too." Oh how sweet. I couldn't help but feel that little green monster every woman has in her, bubble up to the surface.

Daryl stared at her for a few more moments, his eyes squinting and his mouth twitching. He took a step forward and dropped the reins on the ground, if looks could kill, his would have killed us all. He started walking towards me but then without a doubt there was his rage and he pushed the saddle cover over. I stood up straight and almost rushed to his side but Carol beat me to it the second he heaved over in pain. "Jus' leave me be!" He straightened up with his hand still on his side, his face was dark and his words even darker, "Stupid bitch."

My jaw dropped again, I looked over towards Carol who had the most pain stricken face I had ever see in my life. I made a slight noise in my throat and quickly sprinted towards Daryl, "Hey!"

He growled out, "Leave me 'lone Lex."

"Hey!" I said again, but he continued walking, "I get that what Carol said pisses you off but calling her a bitch because of it was not right!" I gritted my teeth as I firmly grabbed at his arm, "Daryl!"

I had to no time to react to the harsh shove I felt against my chest and in seconds I had fallen onto the ground. I cringed at the sudden pain that pulsed its way through my wrist. I rubbed it and narrowed my eyes up at him who stood still pissed off but with a shocked expression. I heard Carol running towards me, she bent down, "Alex! Are you alright?"

I nodded, letting her help me up, "Peachy." I gritted my teeth as Carol inspected my wrist.

"Oh, let's get you to Hershel. It's swelling up real bad." She motioned for me to follow as she kept her gaze away from Daryl.

"Lex, wait."

I held onto my wrist, spinning around, I marched right up towards him, "Never in the years have I known you have you ever ever laid a hand on me or push me for the matter." My chest was heaving with anger, aside from the obvious pain that was pulsing its way through my wrist but I was hurt internally. "You're right, this world isn't meant for us. Don't ever speak to me again." And with that I spun back on my heels and caught up with Carol, I fought the urge to look behind me. Daryl had too much pride to follow after me if he wanted too.

Carol chewed on her lip, "What are you gonna tell the group?"

I shrugged, "That I fell, the last thing this group needs to worry about is some redneck losing his lid." I sighed, "I doubt he'd ever do that to anyone again, but we don't need Shane or anyone egging him into it."

She nodded, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, "Did you mean it?"

"What?"

"Mean for him to never talk to you again," she looked over at me with questioning eyes, "I mean, you two have been super close since we've known you guys."

I blew upwards, "I don't know. I'm physically and emotionally hurt and I'm so mad, so so mad." I hissed at the pain, "I don't know, maybe it's best if we don't speak."

"You can't really mean that, can you?" She interjected, a frown appearing on her face, "I see the way he looks at you, Alex. It's the kind of look I wish my own husband gave me at least once. I think that's sort of why I'm drawn to him. My husband beat me black and blue and yes Daryl at first glance seems like he'd do the same but he don't. He does the opposite, he protects the ones he loves."

I snorted, "It ain't really protecting, it's more like not allowing you to anything."

She laughed, "It's still more than what Ed did for me."

I shrugged and gave a small smile, "Well then how about we switch names and bodies and you can deal with him." I scoffed a little, "Take it all. All the memories, the fights, the worry, everything." I glanced towards Carol who gave me an astonished look.

Carol pressed a smile and linked arms with me, careful to not bump into my wrist, "You don't mean that."

"It's up in the air."

"No." She firmly stated, "Mistakes are made in all kinds of relationships. Like I've said, I've been abused. Daryl wanted to take that back the second he did it. Ed always meant it." Carol swallowed hard, "You might think this won't effect him, but it will. The night you, Glenn, and T-Dog came here to the farm, it drove Daryl up the wall. He wouldn't sleep and he spent most of the night out in the woods looking for Sophia. And when it came time in the morning for all of us to make a sign for her, it was already done. He wanted to get here faster than anyone because he-whether or not he wanted to admit it, he needed to know you were okay."

I pursed my lips, staring up into the sky, I tried to get myself to forgive him but I couldn't. Not only had he physically hurt me but he had sworn to me that he would never put his hands on me in that kind of way. True it was an innocent little shove that made me fall onto my back but it was still aggressive and I was not okay with that. I wasn't afraid of him either. I just didn't think I could forgive him for this one. No matter the apologies.