Canon

I stare at the plane ticket Niall left me in my clammy palms as the flight attendant instructs us to turn off all electronic devices. I was looking at a twelve-hour flight where I was set to land in Dublin. Niall sent me a message saying that he would be outside the airport as soon as I landed. I supposed to look for a black rental car when I got there. My phone sounds once more as I go to turn it off. It chimed and dinged the entire ride to the airport. The taxi driver was evidently annoyed, with the harsh sighs he made ever so often. It was my dad. Again. Then my mom. Again. Each left several long texts along with short-winded voicemails. I didn’t want to leave my house like that but I had no choice. I sigh settling down in the window seat reminiscing earlier today.

I woke up early in the morning to drive Niall and Greg to the airport. Once I made it to Niall’s house, he was sitting across his bed slipping his feet into a blue pair of Adidas. He was dressed in a pair of grey sweats and a black sweatshirt along with a blue hat, which shielded his messy hair. He yells at Greg to hurry up, who was in the shower in the next room. Denise waited patiently in the living room, silent, holding back tears. I felt bad for her; she really didn’t want Greg to leave even if it was for a few weeks. Niall and I pulled the luggage out to my car while Greg says goodbye to his lilac beauty. Soon enough the three of us were in the car as Niall drove to the airport. He slides directly into the “thirty minute” parking space and we all get out. I follow the two brothers inside of the nearly vacant airport.

‘Do you think that it’s weird that we’re not completely torn up like Greg and Denise?’ I whisper gesturing over at Greg who anxiety chewed on his nails. ‘They were practically glued to each other.’

‘Nah,’ Niall shakes his head running a hand over his slight stubble, ‘I think it’s not weird because the two of us, just know. You know that I’m going to miss the hell out of you and that I will be back whenever you need me. You know that I will not let a single night pass where I don’t call you to hear how your day went. There aren’t any doubts with us. I think that’s why. It’s not this goodbye for us, it’s I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.’

‘I’m still going to miss you.’ I speak after awhile looking over at Niall, who stared blankly at the tile floor.

‘That is precisely why I got you something.’ He replies pulling an envelope handing it to me, ‘it’s a voucher – you can use it any time while I’m gone. Everything is paid for, just take it to the front and they’ll print your ticket for you. I’m going to be there for two weeks so you have fourteen days to meet me in Ireland.’

‘Niall, I c-can’t take this.’ I place the envelope in his lap shaking my head, ‘you really shouldn’t have.’

‘Keep it.’ Niall retorts placing a kiss on my lips, ‘I better get going but I will you call when I land, all right?’

‘All right.’ I stand to my feet along with Niall, ‘I love you.’ I wrap my arms around Niall’s toned waist holding him close. From the corner of my eye, I could see Greg smirking in the corner of the room.

‘I love you.’ Niall repeats, ‘take care of yourself. Remember call if you need anything.’

‘Okay. Have a safe flight, bye Greg.’

‘Later Lizette.’ Greg waves from a distance already leading the way to the terminal.

‘Bye.’

‘Bye.’ Niall is sure to give me one more kiss before following his brother.

…

Yeah, I did cry just like Denise on my way home. I wish that it was one of those movie-like one lone tear but I actually lost it. My shoulders shook and my head quickly throbbed. I knew that Niall coming back but all I could seem to think about was him being gone right now. That’s when things changed, for the worst. I walked into the house and dropped my keys in the dish by the front door. My parents were sitting down at the table for breakfast with Elijah giggling in his high chair.

‘Where have you been? Are you just now getting into the house?’ Dad questions as he drops his fork against the glass plate causing an annoying clinking sound to fill my ears.

‘No, I made it home with plenty of time to spare before curfew last night. I just took Niall to the airport, that’s where I’ve been.’ I speak, filling enraged with the disappointment from last night and this sudden interrogation.

‘I don’t like this attitude that you have right now.’

‘Well, I didn’t exactly like how you treated someone that I care about last night. I guess that we’re just doing things to piss off each other now.’

‘You will not talk to me like that. You do not get it, do you? That boy is nothing but trouble. He’s going nowhere and he’s doing nothing. I am not going to let you sit here and destroy everything you’ve strived for.’

‘You don’t even know him!’ I shout in return, ‘I am sick and tired of having this never-ending fight with you! I am sick and tired of you depicting every single aspect of my life. I am sick and tired of being your puppet instead of your daughter for Christ’s sake! You never talk to me, you’re always talking at me. No one make’s my decisions for me, not Niall and not you!’

‘I don’t even know who you are anymore.’ He shakes his head with clear signs of disappointment.

‘This is who I’ve always been but because of you I’ve always listened to every word you fed me. I can’t be this perfect, always right person, like you dad. I can’t.’

I walk upstairs without letting another word fall from my lips. The white envelope Niall gave me rested on my dresser. I could practically hear the envelope whistling like a pot on a burning, red-hot stovetop. My hands felt warm as I allowed my fingers to graze the smooth paper material. Before I could talk myself out of it, I was on the phone with the tax company. I leave a note on my desk before slipping out the side door and rushing out to the taxi. That’s how I ended up on this plane going twelve hours across the world to Ireland.

…

It was after four in the morning when I finally made it to the airport in Dublin. I drag my suitcase and purse while looking around the empty airport. I reposition the bag on my shoulder while struggling with the suitcase. I couldn’t sleep on the flight due to the anxiety that was rushing through my veins right now. Partially, because I was actually in Ireland with Niall and didn’t know how this was going to go but mainly because the thought of my parents up worrying right now made me feel unbelievably sick. I needed to call them soon as I found a cellphone that actually worked here.

‘Looks like you need help.’ Niall smirks taking my belongings from me and kissing my forehead, ‘is everything okay?’

‘At least I’m with you now.’ I answer simply following Niall to the shiny black car that awaited us.

I slide into the passenger seat while Niall puts the bags into the back then jumps in beside me. With a quick flick on Niall’s wrist the car roars with life.

‘How was was your flight?’ Niall wonders looking down at me in the darkness.

‘It was long, but okay. Thank you.’

‘I really don’t like when something’s bothering, do you feel like talking about it?’

‘Well, I got in a fight with my dad this morning and snuck out while they weren’t around.’

‘You what?’