Damaged Goods

***Vic’s P.O.V.***

I have been home for two days and the only thing I’d been doing was eating, watching TV and cuddling with Mae. I got a paid week off of work because my boss heard about my seizure and he didn’t think it was safe for me to be at work after what happened. I agreed of course, because I could use a break. All I’d been doing for the past two days was cuddling with Mae. I was feeling a bit off and her presence just make things better. She knew how to cheer me up and I was very thankful for her. But she and Mike have been working hard to keep me out of the liquor cabinet and away from beer, and I’ve been kind of upset about that.

I haven’t talked to Dylan in the last few days, the last time I saw him was when he dropped me at home from the hospital. He had been texting me, but I didn’t reply. Not because I was still mad or anything, but just simply because I didn’t feel like seeing him and I was too busy with Mae.

“Mae,” I groaned, squeezing my arms around her torso.

She was laying on top of me and our legs were tangled together. We’ve been getting extremely close these last couple days, cuddling and whatnot.

“Yes?” She said tiredly.

“I’m hungry,” I complained.

“Want me to order some Chinese food?” She offered.

I nodded.

She sat up and began to untangle herself from my sheets. She was in just her bra and some Nike shorts. Her hair was all messy, the medium-length, purple stands were sticking up in all different directions. She looked really pretty and that didn’t help the fact that I had tiny little crush on her. I know I shouldn’t have any kind of feelings for her, but I did. I didn’t even know I could be attracted to a girl. I wasn’t sure if my crush on her was just a spark of curiosity that would eventually lead to a dead end, or something that would have me questioning my sexuality. Maybe I was bisexual, because I definitely knew I liked boys, well one boy in particular, but I had to get past my feelings for him. I don’t know, this whole sexual orientation thing was just a complicated, jumbled mess. Why can’t the world just go without labels and we can just all love each other?

“What are you thinking about?” Mae asked from across the room. “You’ve been zoned out for like 5 minutes. I was on the phone with the Chinese place and I asked you for your order and you apparently didn’t hear me, so I chose something for you.”

“Nothing important. Just over analyzing my feelings.” I mumbled.

“What do you mean?” Mae wondered, her face scrunching up just the slightest bit.

I was conflicted on the thought of telling her what I’d been feeling for her. I mean, if I did, I’d feel more free, but it could also give her mixed signals. I didn’t want her to be under the impression that I wanted a relationship with her, because that was not the case. I already had too many relationship issues going on at the moment.

“Tell me what’s up.” She said, coming over to lay beside me on the bed.

“Have you ever, like, questioned your sexuality?” I said quietly.

She rolled her eyes and giggled just the slightest. I was kind of confused on what she thought was amusing about that statement.

“Well duh.” She said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “And that’s how I found out that I liked girls as well as boys.”

I knew that every once in a while she would hook up with girls and bring them home from parties and whatnot but I assumed it was something she just did when she was drunk, I never really thought into it.

“Oh,” I said, biting at my lip.

“Why? Are you questioning yours?”

I nodded but I refused to make eye contact with her, I was a little shy when it came to this subject and it was kind of embarrassing.

“Why do you look so freaking embarrassed?” She giggled, hitting my arm lightly, “Everyone has at least one time that they begin to question themselves and they have to figure out what they like and don’t like. It’s good to experiment.”

“I think I might be attracted to you,” I said slowly, almost regretting the words as they fell from my mouth.

“Ooooooh really?” She teased in a playful tone, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Stop,” I groaned, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at her. “I’m serious. I’m just really confused.”

“What’s so confusing about it?”

“Because since the 5th grade I’ve always thought I was gay and now you come along and just fuck my brain up,” I sighed.

“Well maybe you should just experiment a little and you’d be a little more sure of your feelings.” She suggested.

“Like with you?” I questioned.

“Yeah, if you wanna.” She said, smiling the slightest.

“Um okay.” I said quietly.

I suddenly felt very small and scared.

“Maybe we could kiss a little?” Mae said awkwardly.

“Yeah.” I replied, slightly smiling.

She lifted herself up from the bed using her elbows and hovered herself over me while I was laying on my back. She leaned forward the slightest bit and looked me in the eyes.

“This is awkward,” I blurted.

We both began to laugh and it kind of lightened the mood a little bit.

“Shut up. I’m trying to be serious.” Mae laughed.

After we were able to collect ourselves she began to push my hair out of my eyes and leaned in. She gently pressed her lips to mine, her lips were really soft and I could taste the cherry flavored chapstick she always wore. I liked it, the kiss was nice and sweet and it felt good. I kissed her back gently, enjoying the close contact with someone other than Dylan. Mae lifted herself up without breaking the kiss, and swung her leg to the other side of my body so that she was straddling my lower half. To be honest, the only thing I kept saying over and over in my head was ‘dontgetabonerdontgetabonerdontgetaboner’. It would have been extremely embarrassing to get one at the moment. She pulled away after a couple seconds and looked down at me expectantly.

“How was it?” She said, biting her lip.

My first thought was that it was really good, but she didn’t quite measure up to Kellin. I know it was very wrong of me to compare them to each other. but there was no way I couldn’t.

“I liked it.” I smiled.

“Really?”

“Yes, a lot.”

She giggled and looked away from me, she was blushing.

“I did too.” She admitted.

We heard the doorbell ring and Mae shot up.

“Yay. The food is here,” She said, scrambling up from the messy bed and running down the stairs.

I chuckled at her eagerness and followed her down the stairs. By the time I had reached the door she was already telling the man goodbye and she had our food in hand. She handed me the bag with a smile.

“I’m gonna go get drinks, take the food upstairs.”

I did as told and went upstairs. I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels until I found something that I thought I would remotely like to watch. I opened the bag and separated our food. She soon joined me and sat in the bed, handing me a can of Dr. Pepper. I frowned and looked over to her.

“Why didn’t you get me a beer?” I complained.

“Because you don’t need a beer.” She countered.

“Yes I dooooo.” I whined.

“No you don’t. You’re only like 17 and you have signs of being an alcoholic.”

“So what?”

“It’s not even legal for you to drink yet.”

“It’s not legal for you either,” I countered.

“Well almost. I’m 20, so just one more year.”

“You’re so freaking old.” I laughed.

“Well a couple of minutes ago you were kissing all up on this old lady so whatever.” She laughed.

I stared at her with my mouth open and felt the heat rise to my cheeks.

“You’re so evil!” I responded. “Don’t make me feel weird about it.”

“Trust me, I w-”

We were interrupted by the door to my room being slammed open. I looked up, ready to yell ‘what the fuck?’ at whoever slammed my door open like that, but I was silenced by the sight of Dylan. I’d been ignoring him, and by the looks of it, he wasn’t very happy.

“Mae, go eat and watch TV in the living room, take my food with you. I’ll be in there in a second.”

“No, I don’t wanna l-”

“I’m good.” I said, cutting her off. “I promise.” I said, forcing a fake smile.

She looked at Dylan and then looked back to me one last time before gathering all of the stuff and exiting the room.

“So you think this is funny huh? Ignoring my calls and lounging around in bed with this half-naked girl.” He said, shutting the door to the room and locking it.

“I never said I thought it was f-”

“SHUT UP!” He yelled suddenly.

Oh shit. The crazy look was coming back. I knew this look, it’s the look he’d get right before he beat the shit out of me.

“You know how I get when you don’t answer my texts or calls.” He said, walking over to me.

I was still sitting on the bed and I was messing with a piece of thread that was hanging off of the quilt.

“First you let Kellin spend the night with you at the hospital and now this. Are you trying to make me angry?” He yelled.

I honestly wasn’t. I just needed a break and I didn't know how to tell him. He was getting too demanding and I needed my space.

“ANSWER ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU,” he shouted, grabbing a fistful of my hair and yanking me up from the bed.

“Oww!” I gasped. “Dylan, stop.”

I reached my hands up and began to claw at his hand in order to make him let go, but it wasn’t doing anything. I felt hot tears escape my eyes and I was getting scared, this couldn’t be happening again.