Damaged Goods

***Kellin’s P.O.V***

“Alan please don’t make me go in there.” I pleaded, as he roughly wrestled with my hands, trying to yank me out of the backseat of his car.

“Kellin, I’m not leaving you in here. We’ll probably be in there for a while.” He reasoned.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll take a nap or something. I really can’t see him right now Alan.” I said, I was literally begging.

“Do you still love Vic?” He whispered so the others couldn’t hear.

“Yes.” I admitted sheepishly.

“Then this is the first step of reconnecting with him.” Alan said with a smile.

I sighed and hung my head low. Just because I missed Vic didn't mean that he missed me back. He probably didn't want anything to do with me. My heart was literally beating out of my chest. Everything seemed amplified and I couldn't find it in myself to stop shaking.

“C’mon.” Alan said before literally yanking me out of the car, almost causing me to fall on the concrete of the driveway.

I steadied myself and looked up slowly. All eyes were on me, including Vic’s, who were giving me a blank stare, he intense eye contact was making me feel awkward. He looked beautiful as ever. His long curly hair is a little longer than I remember. His brown, almond-shaped eyes still held that joyful spark in them. He was wearing a pair of skinny jeans that complimented his shape perfectly, and a sweatshirt that I did not recall him having before. I felt as if wind was knocked out of me. I did not really realize how hard this would be to see him again. Especially when he looks this good. The only thing I was waiting for was to hear his precious voice again. I wanted to let the low, endearing sound of his voice to envelope me and give me a sense of security.

After I looked Vic over, admiring every single part of his existence, a tall, muscular person standing near him caught my attention. To start off, this guy was exceptionally handsome. He was very tall, way taller than Vic, Alan and I and only a little taller than Austin. His skin was flawlessly naturally tan, which made me think he was mixed with some sort of Caribbean or Island race. Atop his head was short, curly, light brown hair that gave a nice contrast with his face and he had hazel eyes. Please don’t let this be his boyfriend, if he is then I'm never getting him back.

“Okay. We’re ready.” Alan chirped happily.

Vic then tore his emotionless stare from me and turned to the handsome stranger, taking his hand and starting to walk towards the door. Okay, he was holding his hand, but that does not mean that they’re together. Alan, Austin and I followed them through the doors of the house. When we walked in we were led to the living room. This was a really nice place, I wonder if Mike lived here with him.

“You guys can just get comfortable.” Vic said, motioning around the room.

I went to sit in a recliner in the corner of the room, while Alan and Austin took the loveseat and Vic and the stranger guy took the couch.

“I forgot to introduce you.” Vic said suddenly, talking to the mystery man. “Guys, this is Dylan.”

My head snapped up at the name. Dylan. Isn’t that the guy who he used to be in a relationship with years ago? The one who beat him everyday? The one who was responsible for a lot of the emotional and physical damage that Vic was carrying around.

I was shocked. I looked up at Vic with wide eyes, to find him staring directly back at me. He had no sense of remorse or sadness. A thousand questions were swimming in my head. Was that the same guy? Was he still hitting him? Were they a couple? Why would he ever go back to him? Vic ripped his stare away from me and Dylan loosely wrapped an am around Vic’s shoulders. I literally felt as if I was going to throw up. My hands and legs were shaking like crazy and I didn’t know what to do. I looked around and Alan and Austin were busy conversing with Dylan. I had to get out of this room.

“U-Um where is your bathroom?” I mumbled, cursing myself for stuttering.

“Babe, can you show Kellin where it is?” Vic said to Dylan.

Okay that stung. I wasn’t used to Vic calling anyone else “babe”.

“Yea, sure.” Dylan said, getting up and looking over to me.

I stood and began to follow behind him.

“I’ll take you to the one upstairs because the one downstairs is in the guestroom and Mae is in there at the moment.” He said.

Oh, so Mae is here. Great. We made our way upstairs and he was taking me through a small hallway.

“So you’re Vic’s ex?” He said lowly.

“Uh y-yeah.” I said, awkwardly pulling at my sleeves.

He made me really uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because he was really tall and he looked almost a little too perfect.

“Here’s the bathroom.” He said, pointing to the door. “You know how to get back to the living room right?”

“Yeah, thanks.” I nodded.

I don’t know how much time I spent in there, but I know it was a while. I have to admit, I let a few tears fall. I was a little overwhelmed at the moment and I was thinking of all the good memories Vic and I shared together. Everything that happened between us at the asylum and even after he helped me get out. I missed him so much and it was taking every fiber of my being to not break down and have an anxiety attack at the moment. I missed him so fucking much and it hurt me to know that he was just fine without me. Because I was not fine without him. I was having really bad anxiety and depression problems. My self-hate had grown from a small problem into a huge pit of hopelessness. I hated myself for ruining us, even though he did cheat on me with Mae. Maybe we could've worked it out and we would have been happy and together right now. I made the matter even worse when I began to hit him that day. It was all a mistake that I wish I could take back. I hurt him so bad. I was no better than Dylan.

I sighed one more time and began to rub the tears from my eyes. There’s nothing I can do now but try to talk him into putting up with me. Maybe just a little spark of love is still in there. I know there has to be, because the time we spent together was full of love and passion and I know something like that cannot just disappear into thin air. Something has to be there, and if I can just get him to feel an ounce of what he once felt for me then maybe we could go back to the way we were.

Once I left the bathroom I forgot which way I came, so I kinda just picked a way to walk. I slowly walked down the hallway. I heard loud music coming from behind one of the doors. It must be Mike. I wanted to knock and say hi but I wasn’t sure how he felt about me. He might attack me as soon as he sees me, not like I don’t deserve it. I did break his brothers heart and then punch him in the face when he tried to talk to me. Damn, I’m an asshole.

I made my way downstairs and somehow I ended up in the kitchen doorway. I looked inside and I saw Vic putting a boiling pot of water on the stove and pulling out some pasta from his pantry. I guess we were staying for dinner. I sat there and admired him for a bit. He looked so good, his hips swayed side to side when he walked around the kitchen. I adored the way he licked his lips every few minutes, the way his lips were slightly parted when he was thinking about what ingredients he needed to get next, the way he tucked his extremely long bangs behind his ear. This was my chance to talk to him alone.

“V-Vic.” I said, my lips quivering and voice shaking.

His head snapped up and he looked me in the eyes.

“What are you doing in here?”