Wonderless

Missy stared at HP in surprise. She could barely see his face in the moonlight. Despite the electricity between them that evening, she had not expected HP to feel the same overwhelming urge as she did. Before her brain could engage and restrain her, Missy was nodding shyly and edging closer and closer towards the painfully attractive man next to her. HP moved forward as if he was going to kiss her cheek, but at the last minute he raised a hand to her face and turned her head so that their lips could meet. The kiss was only brief but as Missy pulled away she felt dizzy. How could something so wrong feel so right?

HP appeared to be thinking the same thing and Missy allowed him to pull her back into another deeper, longer kiss. As their mouths collided, any inhibitions Missy had felt about spending time with HP drifted away. This was what she wanted, she thought, running her fingers through HP's soft curls. It took her by surprise at how similar his hair felt to Zack's.

"I've waited four years to do that again." HP breathed softly once they had untangled themselves from one another's arms. "And it was even better than I imagined."

Missy blushed and took his hand. "Well I'm glad you did it." She admitted, smiling nervously. "Four years feels like forever ago." She added.

HP nodded gently and Missy felt an unnerving desire to go back in time and change the past. She would change it so that she and HP had never been parted. Not that she would ever admit this to him.

The kiss had been amazing but both of them wanted more. Without the need to exchange words, Missy and HP made their way back to the car and drove silently to the nearest hotel. It felt a little dirty to Missy, but going back to either of their homes was impossible.

By the time they got to their room they could not keep their hands off one another. Four years of love and lust had erupted between them and HP pushed Missy up against the door and kissed her passionately. She could not deny how good it felt to be this close to him again. Their lips crashed together as his body pressed up against hers and she moaned out for more. HP pulled back and looked at her for reassurance. Missy knew this was wrong but she couldn't stop herself as she nodded at HP for him to carry on.

Missy stood very still in front of HP and let him lift her dress over her head. She felt vulnerable standing there in her underwear but HP pulled his own shirt off and took her into his arms. His hands felt cold against her bare skin but she could feel her heart racing as she moved his hands to her back and her bra strap. In a second the clasp came away and Lexi let her bra drop to the floor. She couldn't remember the last time she had been naked in front of someone. She had never undressed like this in front of Louis, but somehow with HP, her insecurities dissolved and she felt relaxed in his company.

Missy unbuttoned HP's shirt and he let it slide off his shoulders. She couldn't help but let out a tiny gasp at the sight of his toned and tattooed torso. She placed her hands gently on his chest and felt his heart pounding through his ribcage. Before she knew what was happening, their bodies collided on the bed in a fit of passion and she felt HP's hands explore every inch of her body.

The next morning Missy awoke to a huge headache. She may have drunk too much the night before but she was well aware of what had happened between her and HP. She glanced across the bed, half expecting him to have vanished over night but was pleasantly surprised to find him sleeping soundly next to her with one arm draped across her stomach. Her joy in seeing he had not left quickly turned into guilt as she realised that in sleeping with HP she had cheated on Louis. What disturbed her most however, was the fact that she did not regret it and this hit her like a ton of bricks, making her feel physically sick. There was no denying that the sex with HP had been fantastic, especially after going so long without getting any, and she almost wished she could relive it with a sober mind.

HP stirred beside her and she noticed that they were both naked. Her skin shivered as HP's hand caressed her stomach. He was waking up.

"Ugh." He moaned, cuddling up to Missy. He was evidently hung over and she wondered if he realised who she was.

HP slowly opened his eyes, greeting Lexi with pools of sparkling brown. His mouth opened slightly as he recalled the events that had led to them sharing a bed. Missy remained silent and still, biting her lip nervously.

"Fuck." He exclaimed, but he was smiling and had not removed his arm from her waist.

She couldn't tell whether or not he was experiencing any regret, or if he was feeling guilty for betraying Jasmine. They lay in silence for what seemed like a lifetime. Apparently they were beyond words.

Eventually HP broke the silence. "Last night was amazing." He had a huge grin plastered across his face. "Are you ok kultaseni?"

Missy nodded; surprised to hear him call her by the nickname he had for her. She was still unable to find her voice. There were so many things she wanted to say to him. She wanted to tell him how last night never should have happened. She wanted to admit to him how much she had enjoyed it. She needed desperately to say something that would make the situation ok, but the words eluded her.

"Say something, please?" HP asked, starting to look a little worried.

"I'm sorry." She choked. Her mouth was dry and those were the only words she could manage.

"For what?" he asked, moving his arm so that he could stroke her hair that lay wildly over the pillows. Missy remained rooted to her spot in the bed.

"I don't know." She admitted, tearing her gaze away from his eyes. The hand running through her hair was comforting.

"You have nothing to be sorry for!" he told her, rolling over so they were now face to face. "Tell me that last night didn't feel right?"

She couldn't. Every aspect of last night had felt so right it was incredible. Her silence confirmed HP's thoughts and he pressed his lips on to hers. This time they were both sober and although Missy could taste the stale alcohol on his breath, he was still amazing

Finally she found her voice and looked HP in the eye. "I can't deny that it felt right, but that doesn't change the fact that we both have partners. This should never have even happened in the first place. It's messed up."

"Sure it's messed up, and yes, it shouldn't have happened, but it did and nothing you can do will change that. You know you wanted this to happen deep down." HP's eyes were sparkling and Missy thought she might melt.

She let out a sigh and allowed HP to pull her into his arms, despite her reservations. They lay together quietly for a while.

"What happens now then?" she asked tentatively, aware that her skin was on fire and trying not think about his naked body under the sheets.

HP pulled her closer. "You call the shots." He whispered, continuing to stroke her hair.

This was exactly what she did not want. She didn't want the responsibility of deciding where they went from here. She had no idea of what she really wanted. Right now she wanted to be with HP, but was that really a long term solution? Did they stand any chance of making a relationship work after their history? Missy did not want it to jeopardise their relationship with their son.

"I don't know." She sighed, pushing her face into his chest in the hope that she could dissolve into him and not have to face reality.

"Tell me what you're thinking." He said, stroking her cheek. But what was she thinking?

"I'm thinking so many different things." Missy told him. "I'm thinking of Zack and Louis and Jasmine. I'm thinking of last night and how good it felt. I'm thinking of you and everything that's happened between us. I'm thinking of what if everything goes wrong and we hurt each other again or what if nothing happens and I regret it. I want you to tell me what to do HP. I can't make this decision on my own."

HP stared at her and Missy could tell he had understood everything she had said. He seemed to be processing these thoughts as he remained quiet for several moments. It was an impossible situation. Rather than provide her with an answer, HP took Missy's face in his hands.

"Maybe this will help." Once again their lips crashed against each other. Missy shuddered as she felt his tongue run across her bottom lip. She parted her lips and they kissed passionately until they were gasping for breath. As they kissed, all sense and reasoning escaped Missy's mind and at that moment in time she knew she wanted him. It would work out somehow. How could it not when they had Zack uniting them? It was in his best interests for his parents to try and make their relationship work.

These thoughts were completely crazy, Missy realised. This was the boy who had broken her heart; the man she had lied to for four years, they guy who had specifically told her to stay out of his life. Why had her feelings changed? Maybe she had always felt this way about him.

"I'm not gonna lie to you Nieti, these past few weeks have changed my life: finding out I have a kid and having you back in my life. My head is fucked up right now and I'm not really in the position to make any big decisions."

Missy nodded. It was weird to hear her friend speaking such sense. Maybe something could work?

"But..." he continued. "I know I want you in my life. I never wanted you to leave in the first place. Now you're the mother of my child and I want Zack to have a proper family."

"HP." Missy smiled. "That's all I've ever wanted for him. But if us being together doesn't work, surely it's better to stay apart?"

HP nodded. "But how can we not try? For his sake. I know it seems like a big gamble, but we've been getting on so well."

HP looked down at the incredible woman lying in his arms. Two months ago he had still hated her for leaving. Now he felt like the luckiest man in the world to have her back in his life. During the past weeks everything had changed and he felt as if anything was possible. He knew that he had betrayed Jasmine, but had he really ever loved her? She was just company and a pain in the ass at that. He had never felt for her what he still did for Missy. Getting rid of Jasmine would be an issue, but Bam was prepared to sacrifice anything to make things work with Missy.

"I agree." Miss replied quietly, wrapping her arms around HP. "It's crazy but with you anything was always possible."

HP laughed and kissed the top of her head. Missy could resist the temptation no longer and found herself pulling HP on top of her. Their passionate kiss resumed as they explored one another's lustful bodies.