Status: Enjoy reading
The Second Step: Sophomore Year
Back to Square One
Well yesterday pretty much sucked.
My ex-bestfriend finally reconciled with me after about 2 and 1/2 weeks of barely even speaking to each other because of an argument we had. My feelings towards her are very mixed up, but I was glad we started talking again. We planned to hang out yesterday and I was so excited to reconnect with her. We were going to have lunch at the mall then find a quiet place in barnes and noble to sit and talk. It sounded like a really fun time and I was so excited to have just one chill day in my busy summer (btw summer started like 1 and 1/2 weeks ago).
But of course... she had to flake the day of. She says its because she might be catching a cold, but I don't really believe that bull because she just said she was doing stuff yesterday morning. So I am not exactly sure why, but she had to bail on the one thing I have been looking forward to. This caused me to feel incredible amounts of anger towards her to the point that I actually yelled at one point. This brings me back to my point earlier about how my feelings toward her are very confusing. Whenever I am with her or talking to her I am happy and all seems well, but as soon as I lose contact with her I start to resent her and I become very pessimistic. In the two weeks before her and I reconciled I was initially very sad and resentful, but after making some new friends I started to gain a more optimistic outlook on life. But now that she was found her way back in my life that peace of mind seems to have evaporated. I'm just not sure what to do. Whether to try to accept her back in my life along with the emotional confusion that comes along with her, or to try to move on and develop my relationship with my newfound friends.
I guess I have emotionally regressed back to where I have been the whole year. Back to square one (You like that title reference?). Well for now I will just busy myself with the tasks at hand for the summer. And these tasks are bountiful. I will have a very very busy summer. I have math homework for my HL IB class next year, I am doing a peer tutoring program for incoming freshmeat, I have a couple vacations, I have summer league for my high school basketball team, and I also have AAU basketball. Speaking of AAU I have my first tournament tomorrow in Rocklin. Should be fun. The only problem is I haven't been to many practices because of track and field so I don't know any plays and am very rusty. Well who cares I'll just do my best.
Oh I also might be meeting some old family friends for dinner while I'm there. We haven't seen each other in over two years and I kind of used to be in love with one of their daughters who is going to be a senior. She was my first love so this will be interesting. Maybe something will happen, maybe not. Let's find out.
My ex-bestfriend finally reconciled with me after about 2 and 1/2 weeks of barely even speaking to each other because of an argument we had. My feelings towards her are very mixed up, but I was glad we started talking again. We planned to hang out yesterday and I was so excited to reconnect with her. We were going to have lunch at the mall then find a quiet place in barnes and noble to sit and talk. It sounded like a really fun time and I was so excited to have just one chill day in my busy summer (btw summer started like 1 and 1/2 weeks ago).
But of course... she had to flake the day of. She says its because she might be catching a cold, but I don't really believe that bull because she just said she was doing stuff yesterday morning. So I am not exactly sure why, but she had to bail on the one thing I have been looking forward to. This caused me to feel incredible amounts of anger towards her to the point that I actually yelled at one point. This brings me back to my point earlier about how my feelings toward her are very confusing. Whenever I am with her or talking to her I am happy and all seems well, but as soon as I lose contact with her I start to resent her and I become very pessimistic. In the two weeks before her and I reconciled I was initially very sad and resentful, but after making some new friends I started to gain a more optimistic outlook on life. But now that she was found her way back in my life that peace of mind seems to have evaporated. I'm just not sure what to do. Whether to try to accept her back in my life along with the emotional confusion that comes along with her, or to try to move on and develop my relationship with my newfound friends.
I guess I have emotionally regressed back to where I have been the whole year. Back to square one (You like that title reference?). Well for now I will just busy myself with the tasks at hand for the summer. And these tasks are bountiful. I will have a very very busy summer. I have math homework for my HL IB class next year, I am doing a peer tutoring program for incoming freshmeat, I have a couple vacations, I have summer league for my high school basketball team, and I also have AAU basketball. Speaking of AAU I have my first tournament tomorrow in Rocklin. Should be fun. The only problem is I haven't been to many practices because of track and field so I don't know any plays and am very rusty. Well who cares I'll just do my best.
Oh I also might be meeting some old family friends for dinner while I'm there. We haven't seen each other in over two years and I kind of used to be in love with one of their daughters who is going to be a senior. She was my first love so this will be interesting. Maybe something will happen, maybe not. Let's find out.