Beyond the Sea

“Sophie, your so stupid.” I groaned and threw my head back onto the seat. Jay and I were both on our way to meet everyone else at the dress boutique for my fitting. Litterley two minutes ago I told him about everyhting That happened between Nathan and I, he was obviusly frustraded over my decisions.

“How could you be so fucking stupid. You had the chance right then and there.”

I inhaled a sharp breathe in and slumped into my seat. “Don’t remind me.”

“Exactly Sophie, you made the wrong fucking decision.”

I snapped my around to face him. “I told you to not fucking remind me okay. At the moment it felt like it was a good decision to make him suffer. But now I just feel like a complete idiot.”

“And you should.”

“Shut the fucking hell up.” he shrugged and bit hit bottom lip.

“I’m only telling you the complete truth.” I threw my hands in dismay and just chose to ignore him and concentrate on my phone instead.

“Are we still going to continue with ‘this’?” I lifted my head up from my phone and turned to him raising an eyebrow.

“What, you don’t think that I’m still gonna want him back?”

“In that case I’m taking it as a yes?”

I nodded my head. “Abosultly it’s just taking a different course and I’ll just have to deal with it.”

He rolled his bottom lip down and nodded while focusing his eyes back onto the road. I have absoultly no idea how managed to make everything get this out of control. At first I thought that maybe this wasn’t such a hard idea. But now it’s just so difficult. I had everyone thinking that Jay and I were a couple. Nathan thinks that I dont even want him anymore. I was lying to everyone.

I was lying to myself.

“Stop looking so tense Sophie.” I turned my head and saw that Jay was looking on the road but talking to me.

“What?”

“I can tell you’re worried. But don’t let any of this get into your head.”

He was right, I was worrying over this way too much. If all of this works out then I does, if it doesn’t then it just doesn’t. I just need to be extra careful from now on. Because just by the littlest of things, eveyting could just explode.

“You right Jay. I’ve just gotta let life take it’s course.”

“Thats my girl.” he procededed to drive, however this time he lifted one hand and started messing around with my hair. I swatted his arm away and punched his arm jokingly.

——-

“Sophie, finally. Your an hour late.” Jay and I both walked into the boutique to find everyone else there and Kelsey was being fitted. Michelle ran over towards me and pulled my arm, dragging me towards the other.

“Sit.” she demanded while pointing towards the seat next to Max. I sat and tilted my head towards the others.

“Hellooo.” they all tuned their heads in my direction and nodded while smiling.

“Why the hell are late Sophie Leigh?” she asked while placing a hand on her hip and looked at me sternly.

“Blame Jay.”

“Oh shut it, now get ready she’s gonna measure you in five minutes.” with that she walked away to what I presume her on own fitting. I turned my head and placed a hand on Max’s shoulder.

“I feel incredibly sorry for you right now.” I joked, he laughed and shook his head.

“The sex is worth it though.” I scrunched and shook my head. Cheeky little bastard.

“Sophie, your turn.” I groaned and saw that Kelsey was now stepping out of the dressing room calling me.”Do I really have to do go.”

“Unless you want your head ripped off, then I would most defiantly go.” she said while taking a seat next to Tom. I kicked my legs onto the floor and started my way towards the curtains that led to what a presume the fitting area. I opened the curtain and saw two women standing there with a tape measure and a dress in the other.

The first lady began to strip me down only leaving me only in my undergarments, harsh.”What bra size are you?”

“34 C.” I told her while she tom note of it on a piece of paper. She took the tape measurer and began measuring every inch of my body. Waist, chest, thighs, arms. Everything!

“Okay, now put the dress on.” she handed me the dress. I took a couple of minutes to examine the dress and it was beautiful. It was a lace aqua shift dress. It was flirty but sophisticated at the same time.

I pulled the dress on over my body, and put on the nude pumps that the women handed me. I flattened the dress down and I smiled. I couldn’t of been more happier to be involved in Michelle’s wedding, it was only three days away and couldn’t of been more excited for it. Michelle was marrying the right guy, I knew she loved him so much, nothing could ever tear those two apart.

“Okay, looks good. Now just go out those curtains and go show the bride.” she pointed towards the curtains and I nodded making my way over. I took a deep breathe in and walked out.

Everyones heads turned up and smile at me amazed. I couldn’t resist the urge but to look over at Nathan. His eyes were littlerly flown out of the sockets. I mentally smirked to myself.

“So?” I said while twirling around. I turned back around and saw that Michelle was tearing up. I smiled and walked to her crouching down. I started wiping her tears away and attempted to soothed her.

“Whats wrong, I asked worried.” she shook her head and started wiping the tear a away and smiled. “I just cant actually believe I’m going to become Mrs. George in three days.” I pulled her up and took her onto my embrace giving her a big bear hug. She pulled away and held me by my shoulders. “But enough about me, let’s see this dress on you.”

I stepped back and curtsied. She giggled and clapped along with wolf whistles coming from the guys and girls. I rolled my eyes and looked back at Michelle he was pointing at me while biting her nails and a look of concern was written across her face. “Whats wrong?”

“You’re too tall”

I furrowed my eyes together and bit my bottom lip, not sure of what she was saying. “Pardon?”

She nodded her head and began walking around me, almost telling me I was okay. “Your too tall for your partner.”

I shrugged my shoulders and just stared at her. She turned her body towards the guys and started pointing at them one by one.

“Why not Jay?” I asked. She shook her head and said. “Jay already has a partner, she’s a lot taller than you.”

She stepped towards Tom and Nathan and just stared at them. Both of them looked terrified like she was going to attack them any minute. I looked down and started playing with the brackets that were on my wrist.

“What about Nathan?” my head shot up looked towards her direction. I Tried not to look too stunned my this and kind of just shrugged at her. I felt my heart stop beating as Nathan just looked at me coldly. “What about Dionne?”

“It all works out perfect. Shes shorter than you so shell be a perfect match.”I let out a dry laugh, feeling uneasy over this situation.

Im going to fucking walk down the isle with him.

She dragged Nathan up by his collar and stood him next to me. We both stood side by side, awkward tension between us. “Perrrrffect.” she said and smiled.

“Can I go get dressed now?” I asked wanting to leave this place and run away. She shooed me away with her hands and I scurried into the back room. Once I was there I noticed that both of the women had now left, to another appointment I presume.

I stared at myself in the mirror and let out a deep breathe that I haven’t realized that I’ve been holding in. I leaned against the wall and just let my mind go blank. Something that I haven’t done in a while. All of the time I always had so much on mind. Now was the only few moments that I had to worry just about me, and only me.

I stepped out of the dress and heals and placed them onto the seat next to me. I changed into my regular clothes and just fixed myself into the mirror making sure I looked okay.

I opened the curtain and saw that everyone was still sitting on the couches. I walked towards Jay and sat next to him.mi leaned in towards him. “What are we sitting for?”

He leaned back into me and whispered. “Dionne’s getting trying on a wedding dress.” I felt a lump start to form in my throat and my stomach started turning.

“Just keep calm Sophie.” I nodded and leaned my head onto Jays shoulder. We were all tiled to the right so that way no one could seem me. I let a couple of tears fall, not knowing if I was able to sit through this. Not being able to see Nathan’s reaction to seeing his future wife in a dress, I closed my eyes and shut the world out. I felt Jays hand start soothing my knee. I let out a shaky breathe and started wiping away the tears that started falling down.

“Open your eyes.” I heard Jay whisper against my head. I opened one eye and saw Dionne standing there with a white dress. Im felt my heart leap out of my chest right then and there. She was glowing, she couldn’t of been any more beautiful. I leaned forward just a little but enough to see Nathan’s face.

His face was glowing, he had then biggest smile ever and he just looked so in love with Dionne. His eyes were glistening as he watched every feature she made, every turn she made. The way she laughed he would smile to himself.

I but my lip and leaned towards Jay. “I can’t do this anymore, I’m going.” without that I gathered my stiff and simply walked out. I heard my name being called behind me, but I just kept on walking until I was finally outside. Once I was outside, I took of my heals and started sprinting. My feat traveled, not even knowing where I was going. I bumped into people, but I could care less.

Eventually my feet found there way to a park and I found a tree and slid down in. I threw my bag and heals next to me. I placed my head into my lap, and let all of those tears fall loose. All of the feelings that were stuck inside if me, where now falling loose. Finally.

“Sophie!” I heard my name being called but I didn’t look up, I continued on crying. Trying to hide away fro. The world.

“Sophie, what the hell!” I looked and saw that Jay was standing there out of breathe and angry. But once he saw me his features softened up. He sat next to mr and pulled me into his arms. I leaned my head against his cheat on just sat their in silence, something I haven’t done in such a long. Nothing could ever take this pain away.

“I’m leaving Jay, I can’t do this.” he pulled my face up to make him look at him. “Your joking right?

I shook my head. “No, I need to go back to New York. I need to forgot about all of this, I need to forget about him.”

“No, you can’t do that!”

I groaned and threw my hands into the air. “I can do whatever I want. There no point in my staying here anymore. My palm has clearly backfire. I’m never getting Nathan back.”

“Think about Michelle, think about the wedding. How would she feel if you all of sudden left. This is supposed to be her big day and and then it’ll be screwed because of you.”

He was right, I couldn’t just leave and make my best friend suffer. She needed me more than ever right now, and I was supposed to be there for her.

“As for Nathan. You might think that, but if it doesn’t work in the next couple of weeks. Then all of this will be done. I promise.”

“You promise?” I held out my pinky and looked at him. He rolled his eyes and whispered I promise while placing a kiss on my temple and locking pinky’s with me.

“Come one let’s go, the others are worried.” I stood up and gathered my belongings.

“Wait Jay what should I tell them?”

“Just tell them Delia was calling you or something. They think that you just walked out. They didn’t see you running away.”

I nodded and started walking out of the park with Jay when all of sudden he stopped dead in his tracks. “Sophie I need to tell you something.” I loomed at him a look of concern washed over my face. “What is it?”

He reached for something in his pocket and pulled out two pieces of paper. He held them in his hands and took a deep breathe in. “The other day, I passed my the studio to pick something up. I walked in and Nathan was there, bit I think he fell asleep because he was sprawled across the couch. I elated over where his laptop was and there was nothing there. Then I spotted something in the garbage can, it was two pieces of paper crumpled up. I opened them and saw that he was writing a song, but I think you should read it.”

He handed me over the pieces of paper, I opened them up and saw that there were erase marks everywhere but the words were still clearly written.

Dreams
That’s where I have to go
To see your beautiful face anymore
I stare at a picture of you
And listen to the radio
Hope
Hope there’s a conversation
Where we both admit we had it good
But until then
It’s alienation I know
That much is understood
And I realize

If you ask me how I’m doin
I would say I’m doin just fine
I would lie and say that you’re not on my mind
But I go out
And I sit down
At a table set for two
And finally I’m forced to face the truth
No matter what I say
I’m, not over you

Damn
Damn girl you do it well
And I thought you were innocent
Took this heart and put it through hell
And still your magnificent
I, I’m a boomerang
Doesn’t matter how you throw me
Turn around
And I’m back in the game
Even better than the old me
But I’m not even close without you

If you ask me how I’m doin
I would say I’m doin just fine
I would lie and say that you’re not on my mind
But I go out
And I sit down
At a table set for two
And finally I’m forced to face the truth
No matter what I say
I’m, not over you

And if I had the chance
To renew
You know there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do
I could get back on the right track
But only if you’d be convinced
So until then

If you ask me how I’m doin
I would say I’m doin just fine
I would lie and say that you’re not on my mind
But I go out
And I sit down
At a table set for two
And finally I’m forced to face the truth
No matter what I say
I’m, not over you
Not over you
Not over you
Not over you

I looked up at Jay, and my hands were trembling. He just looked at me and nodded. A smile rose across my face.