Your Love Is a Razor Blade Kiss

What the fuck was wrong with him? Is he just fucking obsessed with Joni? What the holy hell?

"Joni!" I called after him, not caring who turned and looked at my outburst.

He really was not okay with people hitting him. It reminded him of his step-father and all the abuse suffered. I was prone to slap him every now and then, but that never set him off like a straight up punch to the face would. I could feel the hair along my hairline standing up like some pissed cat. What the fuck was wrong with that dom? Really.

Joni had me chasing him all around the fairgrounds. I knew he was just looking for a safe place to breathe, but I was angry enough after witnessing the events much less the aftermath. Now, I had bad memories to clean up.

My panicked friend eventually found an old wooden bench in the far corner from the amphitheater, where he plunked himself down and wrapped his arms around his torso. I walked up beside him, hovering before taking a seat on the edge of the table. All I could do until he opened up was listen to his haggard breathing. Joni's past could not just be thrown up on a plate, he needed to be willing to talk about it or there would be no conversation. Now, I considered myself a pretty smooth talker - eight years living as a street rat will teach you those skills - but I had never been able to force out anything about his human life that he did not want to tell me.

I had talked him into giving me his red skinny jeans, talked him into going to a carnival during a thunderstorm, even to literally jump off a bridge with me, but I could not cajole the past from him. It only made the situation even more stressful because I knew how painful it was for him.

That fucking asshole... I thought bitterly. I could practically feel my own spite oozing from my pores. I usually only got that worked up over humans.

Then, it occurred to me to wonder why I was so aggressive over it. Sure, he hurt my friend, but he was acting like a normal dom. They did not commonly put up with the weaker species' shit. Ricky had managed to make me forget that...

I sighed deeply. Ricky. He already had me spoiled.

He really should have just killed me.

I was thinking about sweet-talking myself into leaping from the highest ledge for a while. I had grown ambivalent to the life I lead in the worst possible way. I was sick of being a stray. I hated having to go skinny-dipping with stolen soap in place of showering. I was tired of sneaking around alleys, where I could die the instant I turn the corner into a gang of doms, and taking what I need from innocent people. I did not like thinking of everyone as my enemy. I did not want to justify my actions - the clothes that were never paid for, the food we never bought - anymore. I was sick of just barely surviving day to day.

However, there was Joni. He was eighteen when we met, I was almost twenty. He had run away from his guardian, a dom who wanted his hand, but Joni refused and fled out of fear. I sort of took him under my wing and taught him how to not get his ass kicked in the street. We became a formidable duo. Joni was really good at distracting people because he was loud and boisterous. I was always better at stealth, taking the cloth from the table without disturbing its contents kind of thing. Sure, Joni's mouth got him in trouble, and he would probably never be able to suck up his pride enough to learn the ways of the ass-kisser, but I could cover for that.

We worked really well together.

He was still young mentally. It was a wonder to me. I had lost that a long time ago and became a jaded adult. I was bitter and exhausted. However, it was all because of him that I was still bothering with daily life. The kid had suffered enough, he did not need my suicide on his hands. He did not deserve to be alone like that. I certainly was not going to leave him to that asshole, either.

That brought me back to the start of my ramblings.

That fucking... I sighed. Asshole.

I knew it was selfish, Joni needed me, but all I wanted was Ricky. More than anything, I wanted the reassurance of his scent. It was alluring, it called to me. I felt safe with him even if his friends were loud and made me nervous. And I did not know why. I never had the desire to be with someone romantically before. I supposed I had fantasies like anyone else, but I never actually felt that way for a real person.

I had never had a boyfriend before.

Joni had, he was a little heart-breaker, but he never got serious with them. I think he had trust issues, but he definitely had a sex life to talk about. I did not really put mine out there. One-night stands were normal for me from the very beginning. I was too afraid to date anyone, so I just slept around when I hit that time where my body was producing an excess amount of hormones for reproductive purposes. I still remembered my first time clearly if only because the dom in question had buttered me up and made me feel special, needy and got me in bed with him. He was kind and gentle, but I was terrified when I woke up in the morning. I recalled leaving without even a good bye and running back to my spot under the freeway. Then, I cried.

I was not quite sure why, but I still broke down every now and then. It must had been a frantic moment for Joni the first time I came back home, smelling like another vampire, and started crying on the couch. It just felt wrong somehow, and it made me feel dirty, unclean. I wondered what Joni had thought?

Then, I would wonder why I kept doing it even though it brought me so much distress. I would never have an answer for that.

"I don't know why he won't leave me alone..." Joni eventually spoke, his voice low.

"I don't either," I grumbled. "I don't even know who the fuck he is..."

"I don't really either...but..." He pursed his lips.

I turned my gaze on him. Joni had never held his tongue before.

"But?" I urged gently.

He finally looked up through damp lashes and watery blue eyes. I tilted my head to get a better look at the mark forming under his eye. I resisted the urge to prod it like I would had I been the one injured.

That fucking asshole.

"But I don't know..." Joni mumbled, sounding confused.

"Are you okay?" I kept him talking.

He just nodded, and I sighed again.

"He's a dick..." I grumbled.

"Yeah..." Joni sounded so distant.

It was times like those that made me want to go mad-fertile-mode on someone's unsuspecting ass.

"... It's okay, Joni," I reassured. "He's not...him. He can't hurt you anymore. Doms are just...reactive."

We both knew how most doms operated on knee-jerk reactions. It was commonplace wherein fertiles and humans alike got killed by doms for that reason. However, it was even more likely to see dom on dom violence. That happened a lot more than violence towards fertiles or even crimes against humans.

"I know, but it still really..." He trailed off, took a breath, "it was just like then..."

"Except he stopped, right?" I did not want to paint that motherfucker in a good light, but it looked as if I had to.

"That's the difference. He wasn't..." I grit my teeth, "...trying to hurt you, he just reacted like doms do and didn't mean it."

Oh, I feel sick...

Joni looked up at me, a new hopefulness in his eyes. I could not even feel bad because, despite what I liked to believe, I did not know for sure or not if it was a lie. I did feel disappointed, though.

I hate that motherfucker already.

"Temper, kid," and speaking of motherfuckers I hated.

"Fuck off!" I snarled.

The dom raised his hands in defense. His sudden halt and the look on his face told me he probably had never heard a fertile growl like that.

"Yours is downright feral, Jesus..." He muttered as Ricky came up behind him and passed him by.

That savageness drained the instant his scent hit me.

Fuck me...

"Guess you're glad you waited then," Ricky baited another of those knee-jerk reactions.

To my surprise, it was not taken.

"I was getting over the shock," the motherfucker covered.

Ricky ignored him rather artfully as if he had said nothing at all, was not even there as he approached me. My body warmed as I got the full sight of him all hot and sweaty after the show. His dark hair was more everywhere than somewhere, sticking to his skin and flat in the heat. He seemed unfazed but I was not.

I felt Joni's eyes on me. I spared a glance and met his accusatory stare. I wondered if my face looked as flushed as it felt.

"Is he okay?" Ricky voiced his concerns as the motherfucker gradually crept his way closer.

I growled at him. Back the fuck up.

Ricky reached out and put his hand on my chest, causing the sound to get stuck in my throat as I nearly choked on it. He inspected Joni for a moment before looking over his head to the motherfucker.

"You fix it," was all he said.

"What?" I was not sure I was okay with that.

The motherfucker let out an exasperated breath. 'Cause his day was so hard. Asshole.

His eyes narrowed on me, ruby slivers glaring death.

"AND STAY THE FUCK OUTTA MY HEAD!" I nearly jumped him, my eyes admitting a glow reflected in my friend's wide eyes.

Fortunately for me as I would have surely been killed, Ricky grabbed me and held me back. My edges began to settle as I melted into his arms. My breathing came out in quick pants that warned off anyone from making any fast movements. I was tracking everything. I might have exploded if someone ran past.

"Let him make up for what he did. You can still watch him squirm," Ricky told me soothingly.

"You're lucky I give any number of shits about you," the motherfucker threatened, walking up to Joni on the side farthest from me.

"Same," Ricky's lips quirked in a small, hidden smirk I would have missed had I not turned to bury my face in his neck. His skin was so hot...

"Here," the motherfucker took a tentative seat and offered his wrist to Joni. "Let my blood heal that."

Joni looked more than astonished, but my vocabulary was becoming gradually lesser the longer I stayed pressed against Ricky's body. He kept a tight grip on me in case I decided I did not like the motherfucker that close and tried to pounce on my death.

I saw my friend take the motherfucker's hand and hesitate. I did not see him bite into the vein because I closed my eyes to relish in my sanctuary. I lifted my nose and quickly pinched the pale flesh between my teeth. I felt his posture tighten, but he kept his composure. My fangs ached, wanting to draw his blood, but I maintained some form of sentience throughout the events. I was not sure Ricky would react as well to me biting him as he did before.

Regardless, the last thought on my mind was my antipathy for that motherfucker. I really could hold a grudge, huh?