Summer Has Come and Passed

I think I had spent about 2 or 3 hours on the phone that day, catching up with Mike. I nearly screamed into the phone when I heard Mike’s friendly voice on the telephone when I called the number back. I knew the long distance bill wouldn’t be pretty but that was a price—no pun intended—I was willing to pay.

He said he’d call me later on today to continue catching up.

I honestly was perched at the side of my bed biting at my nails waiting for the phone to ring; it felt like centuries since the last time I talked to Mike, I sadly had lost contact with him after a while along with the others.

I huffed, seeing as though the phone wasn’t going to ring anytime soon, and lay back on my bed, papers strewn all about. I had called myself ‘cleaning’ and ‘organizing’ papers; however I just ended up tossing them every which-a-way on my bed. I raised my leg to reach underneath it to pull a paper from underneath my butt.

“Goddamn it.” I hissed as the paper sliced my middle finger.

“Better wrap that up,” Ashley suggested once she entered the dorm, a book tucked under her arm. “Paper cuts—nasty little things aren’t they.”

I snorted. “I’ve been banged up plenty times before,” I said, inspecting my slightly injured finger. “I think I’ll live.”

“Banged up, eh?’ Ashley queried, raising an eyebrow. “You kinky little bitch.” she laughed.

I laughed as well and tossed my pillow in her direction. “God you’re terrible.”

“I know,” she winked. “That’s why you love me 'init.”

I snorted. “Suuure.”

She crossed the room and picked another book from the small shelf over her bed, tucking that under her arm as well. “You love me, V,” she stated, walking to the door. “You know it!”

I tossed another one of my pillows at her, but she closed the door before it could hit her. I chuckled, picking myself up from my bed and collecting my two pillows from the floor, tossing them back onto my bed. I groaned when one of them got stuck and wedged between the small space of my bed and the wall. I plopped down stomach first on my bed and wiggled my arm in the tight space, my hand brushed over something else stuck down in the cramp area.

I pulled out my arm and in my hand was an envelope; I sat upright on my bed and inspected it, noticing that it had been opened already. I furrowed my eyebrows and opened it, pulling the letter out; it looked like it had been ripped right out of a notebook. I unfolded it and scanned my eyes over the words, a lump beginning to form in my throat.



I was in a pretty rotten mood, brought on by the fact that I was completely and utterly exhausted due to the fact I stayed up two nights in a row writing and then re-writing my Psych paper. I was laying on my side, propped up on my elbow, my head resting in my hand, dozing off.

I could almost taste the sweet and decadent slumber I was about to drift away into. Well, that is until the door had swung open with a bang, startling me awake with a loud snort.

“What—What—Huh?” I rambled on confused and dazed a little.

“V!” Ashley screeched, walking into the dorm. “There’s a raaad party tonight at the Delta Lambda Phi frat house. You gotta come.”

I groaned and lolled my head backward on my pillow. “No,” I disagreed, “I gotta finish this paper.”

Ashley stomped her foot, obviously not happy with my response. “You have been cooped up in this place far too long,” she argued. “You need to let your freak flag fly tonight.”

“I need sleep.”

“Sleep is for the weak” she retorted.

I flailed my arms about.“Then I’m weeeak,” I wailed. “I’m weak, weak, weak.”

“Sleep when you’re dead.” she said groaning once again.

I flipped myself on my stomach, propping my calves up, looking at Ashley tiredly. I was wishing she’d take pity on me.

“You’ll have fun going by yourself—just be careful” I warned.

Ashley puffed her cheeks out, huffing, defeated. “You better come to the next party.” she threatened.

I held my hands up in surrender. “I promise. Scouts honor.”

She blew out another huff as she dug her hand inside of her coat, pulling an envelope out and tossing it at me.

“Hey--!” I cried out.

“I, being the gnarliest person on the planet, took the liberty of getting your mail for you.” she boasted.

I rolled my eyes at her. “Thanks.”

“Yeah,yeah yeah.” she said before she left out of the dorm, the soft click of the door sounding.

I grabbed the envelope, turning it over my eyes glued themselves to the words scribbled on the front.
Words that said, ‘Oakland, California’ and ‘Billie Joe Armstrong’ I immediately ripped it open.

Vienna,
I don’t even know why I’m writing to you, I guess because unfortunately you ran through my head a little while back. I shouldn’t be writing to you, but I am. I got your info and all that to send this letter from your mom. She was surprisingly helpful; I didn’t even think she’d open the door for me.

I guess it goes to show you that people can change and surprise you, huh.

V, I’m writing this to you because I wanna say goodbye properly. Took me a couple months to do it, but I’m doing it now.
I don’t like not having closure, you know that.

Or maybe you don’t know, maybe you forgot by now. Whatever.
I hope you don’t get frostbite on your ass up there in the big apple.

Goodbye for good, V.
--Always, Billie Joe



My legs were shaking, my arms were shaking, my hands were shaking, and my entire body was. This nauseating feeling crashed right into me like a semi-truck. I was struck, I was stunned, I couldn’t move. I wish I could say I couldn’t feel anything, but I could, I could feel the nausea, I could feel the headache and the pang in my chest.

I couldn’t decipher at that moment what my emotions were and how I felt, I didn’t know whether I wanted to go out and hit something or someone, or sit here and cry and scream. I just didn’t know.

Why would I have kept something like this around? Why would I sabotage my own-self? Why would I hurt myself like this?

Why?

Why?

That’s when the switch inside of me flipped, and at that moment I knew what my emotion was: Anger. Pure anger and hatred, and within a second, my hands were ripping the letter into millions and millions of pieces, grunting, seething, and cursing.

Then the phone began to ring, pulling me from my crazed frenzy. I composed myself as I wiped a stray angry tear from my eye. I answered the phone once I had agreed to accept the charges.

“Hello?”

“Hey V!” Mike’s cheery voice said on the other line. I forgot he was supposed to call me. “I catch you at a bad time?”

I cleared my throat, tossing the remaining pieces of the letter onto the floor. “No,” I said. “I was just cleaning and getting rid of some trash.”