One Night Stand
eight/ten.
Zayn’s Point of View
Goddamn it. You are such a fucking idiot. You think you’re so fucking smart and cool with “you need me, I don’t need you” attitude but you’re dumbass with not a single good thing in your life. I think back at how Adara looked at me in her bedroom. She looked at me like she was disappointed and disgusted all with the same breath. Her eyes filled with tears as I sat there and lied straight to her face. You actually made her cry. That is new low – even for a heartless jackass like you. I wanted so desperately to grab a hold of her and never let her go. Instead I played it cool and decided to keep my poker face up.
So all you wanted was to get in my pants whenever you felt like it?
I guess so.
How stupid could I be? If Adara never looked in my direction again I couldn’t blame her.
I know you felt something more here.
I don’t know how I can make it anymore clearer to you Adara.
This is just how you react in situation you’ve never been in. You’re trying to push me away. You need to be talking to me instead of slamming the door in my face.
And she was dead on. The last thing I wanted to be doing was arguing with Adara over some girl who meant absolutely nothing to me. Harsh but true. Adara was all that I could think about for the last few weeks. Nothing or no one but her.
This is how I am. Take it or leave it.
What a stupid ass thing to say.
What happened to the Zayn that came in here pouring his heart out onto the floor? The one who said how I was the best thing in his life right now and how he never wants to lose me?
He was wasted.
People tell the truth the most when they’re drunk.
Well I said what I thought I needed to say to get what I wanted in the moment.
That could not be any farther from the actual truth. Every single thing I said to Adara was honest. Drunk or not I meant every single word.
So that’s all I am to you? Was everything you said a lie?
I’m sorry that I disappointed you.
I couldn’t even look at her anymore. I knew if I took one more glance I couldn’t even get through the words. Everything was happening so fast and it was like I couldn’t shut myself up.
There’s no reason that we should disappoint each other anymore, right? This is all new to you so I’ll make it as simple as I can. We’re over. I’m breaking up with you. I never want to see you again. Get the hell out of my house.
Those words. Those fucking words shook me to the core. I never really been in a relationship before so I definitely never been dumped before and it hurt like hell. It felt like this constant pain in my chest that I couldn’t escape. It felt like I had been ran over by a semi truck going 110 miles per hour. Fifty times. I kept replaying it all in my head not able to shake it. Her face. Something behind her eyes told me that she was serious and never wanted to lay eyes on me again. Her voice. She tried her hardest to stay strong but I could tell that she was failing. Her voice cracked a couple of times near the end of it all.
Fine. You’ll let me back over in a few days anyway.
That should go down in the worst comebacks after a breakup ever. It felt like the proper douchebag thing to say but I felt like shit after the words left my mouth.
No I made that mistake too many times already.
That mistake. She just proved the point that you’ve been trying to make yourself all along.
…
It had been three and a half weeks without seeing or hearing from Adara. I tried to call her but she would always reject my calls. I tried texting but she never replied. I was starting to think she had my number automatically blocked. I went by her place a few times either I got no answer or her roommate threatened to call the cops on me if I knocked on the door again. I went to the club every single night to see if she would be there but she never was. It was like she had just vanished or dropped off the face of the earth. I unlock my phone and go to the contacts where only her named lied with the exclusion of my sisters and mom. I didn’t need any other people stored there. This is what got me in this mess in the first place. Well after my smartass arrogant mouth. I look at the six-pack in front of me. I couldn’t even touch it. What was the point of drinking? She still wouldn’t come back. Smoking too for that matter. I rip the cigarette from my lips and put it out on the coffee table tossing it aside. All I wanted was Adara back in my life. It was starting to seem like mission impossible. Somehow I ended up at my mom’s house a few hours later. Doniya answers the door surprised yet pleased.
‘Mom around?’ I ask after playing with my sisters for a while.
‘She’s in her garden.’ Waliyah answers.
‘I’ll be back.’ I stand to my feet and cautiously walk out to the backyard.
‘Zayn?’ my mom questions dropping the green garden tool from her palm.
‘Hey mom,’ I speak slowly making my way over to her, ‘It’s me.’
‘Oh Zayn,’ she cries happily, ‘I haven’t seen you in so long? It’s been so so long.’
‘I know. I’ve missed you.’
‘Oh and I’ve missed you too sunshine.’ She wipes her tears away after pulling off her dirty gloves. ‘What do I owe this visit?’
‘I just wanted to see you. It’s been a long time since I got a bit of your advice.’
‘Come on inside. There’s some leftovers in the kitchen.’
‘Oh mom, you really don’t have to. I jus-…’
‘Come on. You look like you haven’t eaten in ages. You’re all bones.’
‘Alright.’ I cave in following her to the small kitchen.
‘What can I help you with?’ she wonders sitting across from me at the table.
‘There’s this girl.’
‘Really? Since when has my son talked with me about a girl?’
‘She’s different. Her name’s Adara.’ I begin to fill my mom in the full story leaving out a few of my mistakes. ‘So what can I do?’
‘Just tell her how you truly feel Zayn.’
‘I’ve tried. She won’t return my calls or texts.’
‘Try sitting down and writing something. Show her you care by taking the time to write it down.’
‘Write it down? Like a letter?’
‘Well what do you think we did before all of these fancy phones that tell you what you want to do before you have the slightest idea yourself?’
‘Write it down.’ I repeat to myself running a hand along my chin. ‘Thanks mom. I really needed this.’ I say after washing out my dishes to avoid a lecture.
‘Anytime sunshine. Come back soon. The girls and I miss having you around. We’d love to meet this girl that’s got you so over the heels.’
‘I’ll try. Wish me luck.’
‘You don’t need it.’ She smiles as she watches me walk back to my Jeep.
I get back to the apartment and grab a free journal from the cabinet and an ink pen. I sit there and write to Adara telling her just how I felt.
Goddamn it. You are such a fucking idiot. You think you’re so fucking smart and cool with “you need me, I don’t need you” attitude but you’re dumbass with not a single good thing in your life. I think back at how Adara looked at me in her bedroom. She looked at me like she was disappointed and disgusted all with the same breath. Her eyes filled with tears as I sat there and lied straight to her face. You actually made her cry. That is new low – even for a heartless jackass like you. I wanted so desperately to grab a hold of her and never let her go. Instead I played it cool and decided to keep my poker face up.
So all you wanted was to get in my pants whenever you felt like it?
I guess so.
How stupid could I be? If Adara never looked in my direction again I couldn’t blame her.
I know you felt something more here.
I don’t know how I can make it anymore clearer to you Adara.
This is just how you react in situation you’ve never been in. You’re trying to push me away. You need to be talking to me instead of slamming the door in my face.
And she was dead on. The last thing I wanted to be doing was arguing with Adara over some girl who meant absolutely nothing to me. Harsh but true. Adara was all that I could think about for the last few weeks. Nothing or no one but her.
This is how I am. Take it or leave it.
What a stupid ass thing to say.
What happened to the Zayn that came in here pouring his heart out onto the floor? The one who said how I was the best thing in his life right now and how he never wants to lose me?
He was wasted.
People tell the truth the most when they’re drunk.
Well I said what I thought I needed to say to get what I wanted in the moment.
That could not be any farther from the actual truth. Every single thing I said to Adara was honest. Drunk or not I meant every single word.
So that’s all I am to you? Was everything you said a lie?
I’m sorry that I disappointed you.
I couldn’t even look at her anymore. I knew if I took one more glance I couldn’t even get through the words. Everything was happening so fast and it was like I couldn’t shut myself up.
There’s no reason that we should disappoint each other anymore, right? This is all new to you so I’ll make it as simple as I can. We’re over. I’m breaking up with you. I never want to see you again. Get the hell out of my house.
Those words. Those fucking words shook me to the core. I never really been in a relationship before so I definitely never been dumped before and it hurt like hell. It felt like this constant pain in my chest that I couldn’t escape. It felt like I had been ran over by a semi truck going 110 miles per hour. Fifty times. I kept replaying it all in my head not able to shake it. Her face. Something behind her eyes told me that she was serious and never wanted to lay eyes on me again. Her voice. She tried her hardest to stay strong but I could tell that she was failing. Her voice cracked a couple of times near the end of it all.
Fine. You’ll let me back over in a few days anyway.
That should go down in the worst comebacks after a breakup ever. It felt like the proper douchebag thing to say but I felt like shit after the words left my mouth.
No I made that mistake too many times already.
That mistake. She just proved the point that you’ve been trying to make yourself all along.
…
It had been three and a half weeks without seeing or hearing from Adara. I tried to call her but she would always reject my calls. I tried texting but she never replied. I was starting to think she had my number automatically blocked. I went by her place a few times either I got no answer or her roommate threatened to call the cops on me if I knocked on the door again. I went to the club every single night to see if she would be there but she never was. It was like she had just vanished or dropped off the face of the earth. I unlock my phone and go to the contacts where only her named lied with the exclusion of my sisters and mom. I didn’t need any other people stored there. This is what got me in this mess in the first place. Well after my smartass arrogant mouth. I look at the six-pack in front of me. I couldn’t even touch it. What was the point of drinking? She still wouldn’t come back. Smoking too for that matter. I rip the cigarette from my lips and put it out on the coffee table tossing it aside. All I wanted was Adara back in my life. It was starting to seem like mission impossible. Somehow I ended up at my mom’s house a few hours later. Doniya answers the door surprised yet pleased.
‘Mom around?’ I ask after playing with my sisters for a while.
‘She’s in her garden.’ Waliyah answers.
‘I’ll be back.’ I stand to my feet and cautiously walk out to the backyard.
‘Zayn?’ my mom questions dropping the green garden tool from her palm.
‘Hey mom,’ I speak slowly making my way over to her, ‘It’s me.’
‘Oh Zayn,’ she cries happily, ‘I haven’t seen you in so long? It’s been so so long.’
‘I know. I’ve missed you.’
‘Oh and I’ve missed you too sunshine.’ She wipes her tears away after pulling off her dirty gloves. ‘What do I owe this visit?’
‘I just wanted to see you. It’s been a long time since I got a bit of your advice.’
‘Come on inside. There’s some leftovers in the kitchen.’
‘Oh mom, you really don’t have to. I jus-…’
‘Come on. You look like you haven’t eaten in ages. You’re all bones.’
‘Alright.’ I cave in following her to the small kitchen.
‘What can I help you with?’ she wonders sitting across from me at the table.
‘There’s this girl.’
‘Really? Since when has my son talked with me about a girl?’
‘She’s different. Her name’s Adara.’ I begin to fill my mom in the full story leaving out a few of my mistakes. ‘So what can I do?’
‘Just tell her how you truly feel Zayn.’
‘I’ve tried. She won’t return my calls or texts.’
‘Try sitting down and writing something. Show her you care by taking the time to write it down.’
‘Write it down? Like a letter?’
‘Well what do you think we did before all of these fancy phones that tell you what you want to do before you have the slightest idea yourself?’
‘Write it down.’ I repeat to myself running a hand along my chin. ‘Thanks mom. I really needed this.’ I say after washing out my dishes to avoid a lecture.
‘Anytime sunshine. Come back soon. The girls and I miss having you around. We’d love to meet this girl that’s got you so over the heels.’
‘I’ll try. Wish me luck.’
‘You don’t need it.’ She smiles as she watches me walk back to my Jeep.
I get back to the apartment and grab a free journal from the cabinet and an ink pen. I sit there and write to Adara telling her just how I felt.