I’m Coming Home

The train pulled out of the station, the wheels clicking loudly. The sound was almost lost in the sound of the rain pounding down on the concrete.

I stood in the wetness for a few minutes, listening as the noise from the wheels disappeared before the train was out of sight. But from the thickness of the rain, that slipped into darkness just as easy.

There was a phone hanging on the outside of the station; it wasn’t really a station but more just a shack where the attendant stood from noon to five every day. Because it’s not every day someone comes in from the west or leaves to the east.

I stepped up to the phone, digging into my pocket for change. I drew my sweater up around me, trying to hide myself from the harsh downpour, as I punched in the deadly familiar number.

It rung four times before I was greeted with a sniffle.

“Hi,” was all I could say.

The line went dead.

I huddled in on myself against the shack.

It was fucking cold, the rain like little icicles against my exposed skin. I reached for the pack of cigarettes in my back pocket, failing twice to light it because the rain put out the little flame of my lighter.

I managed through two cancer sticks before I saw the lights in the distance. A third was had before the truck stopped on the other side of the train tracks, headlights blinding against the nightfall.

I picked up my bag and tossed it onto my shoulder as I crossed the tracks. I pulled open the door and jumped in, dropping the bag at my feet. I reached out to the vents in front of me and warmed my fingers up from the heat pumping through.

The drive was quiet, except the burning sound as I inhaled from another cigarette. When the truck pulled up to the house, I hopped out and made a run for the veranda.

“Lion, you can’t run from the truth forever!”

“No, but it’s raining and I’m cold,” I yelled over the roar of the rain. “So if you don’t mind.” I pushed open the screen door and headed through the foyer to the stairs.

This entire house looks different from how it was the last time I was here. The walls had been painted a putrid yellow; now covered in floral wallpaper. Paintings hung on the walls leading down to the bedroom, a grandfather clock at the end of the hall that chimed the hour.

I pushed open the door to the bedroom, only to see that everything in here was the exact same way as before I left. The gray sheets were ruffled, slept in; I had to wake up the only person in town who wouldn’t say no to me.

“I, uh, couldn’t change this room after you left.”

I pushed my light orange-blond hair from my face, entangling my fingers into the darker fur behind my ear. “Well, you always were one for nostalgia,” I smiled.

“You must be starved. Look at you, all skin and bone.” He experimentally poked my sides.

I pushed him away. “I’ve been jumping trains since Wednesday last week.”

He nodded, slowly counting the days in his head. “Well, I can make you something to eat.”

“Really, Raven, you don’t have to.”

The door clicked shut behind him. I took this chance to pull my soaked clothes from my thin body, resting them over the chair in the corner. I tugged a dry tee shirt over my chest as he came back in with the food.

“How long are you in town for?” he asked, biting his lip harshly.

“Until I need to leave. You know how it is, Raven.”

He sighed. “I know. I just wish you would stay this time.” He didn’t realize he was doing it, but he was pouting that cute little pout that made me stay the very first time. “Anyway, I brought you some roast beef and roasted potatoes.”

“Your mother came over tonight?” I laughed, jumping to pull the dry pajama bottoms up my legs. I snapped the waist against my skin.

“Actually, yours did.”

“Yeah? And what did she have to say?” I smirked.

“It’s a shame you don’t stay.”

I walked over to him, taking the plate from him and placing it on the dresser. “Raven, you know I can’t.”

“I know. But it’s a nice dream.”

I leaned up and kissed him lightly. “You were always the dreamer of the two of us.”

He moved away and picked up the plate. “I really do wish you’d eat.”

I took the plate and sat down on the bed. He walked over to my wet clothes and piled them over his arm. He walked out, shutting the door behind him. I sighed as I cut at the roast beef. Ever dramatic, that man was.

After I finished eating, I put the dish back onto the dresser and stared at the bed. I drew the covers back and settled between them, turning the light off in the process.

It was always like this when I came back; he’d feed me and then retreat to the living room to fall asleep on the couch with the T.V. on. Until the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep.

I rolled over so I was laying parallel to where he would’ve slept. The pillows smelled like whiskey and cigarette smoke, the sheets still warm from where he’d been laying not a half-hour prior.

It was moments like this when I wish I hadn’t left that first time. It was so familiar. Just the smell of him, the feeling of Raven curled up around me, knowing that he’d been there the next morning.

But that is also what scared me. The finality of having his arms holding me against him, the happy sighs he’d emit during the night. It was all so much. But all the more comforting.

I tossed and turned well into the early hours of the morning. Around two, I pushed the covers back and made my way downstairs. I made sure to ignore the fifth step down, as it creeks loudly when stepped on.

As I had expected, he was asleep on the couch with a thin blanket pulled to his chin. I carefully sat down next to his hip and pressed my hand gently into his stomach.

He woke up with a start, gripping at my shoulders tightly. “Jesus Christ, Lion,” he hushed. “You scared the hell out of me.”

I leaned down and pressed my lips to his cloth-covered chest. I heard him sigh above me. I kissed the exposed skin on his neck, then his jaw. “I missed you.” I pulled away to look at him.

He sat up, hand reaching around my neck to pull me back so our lips touched. “I missed you too.”

I stood up and started back upstairs to the bedroom, glancing over my shoulder to make sure that he was following me.

He caught me around my waist as I reached the doorway. He pushed my back against the door and kissed me passionately. I wrapped my arms around his neck and lifted myself into his arms. He made sure I was secure in his grip before shoving the door open and stumbling into the room. He tossed me onto the bed and climbed over me. He ran his hands up my chest, taking off my shirt in the process.

I pulled him down by his shirt, connecting our lips again.

He moved down my body with his mouth, sucking marks into my skin so I would remember that I was his. No one else’s. On his way down, he stopped at the raven tattoo on my oblique. He nuzzled the tip of his nose over the black ink before kissing it.

I lifted his shirt off, exposing the lion on his side.

I smiled at the memory of when we were eighteen and got the tattoos. He had stolen his parents’ liquor and took me into the next town over, where we sat on the highway overpass. We got drunk before deciding to get the tattoos.

His fingertips moved down to the pajama bottoms I was wearing. The cool skin that touched my sizzling dermis pulled me from the memory. He looked up at me with so much care and adoration, silently asking me if I was okay with this. With him.

He kicked off his pants and boxers, settling back with me as he hitched my leg over his waist.

It was slow and easy; nothing like the other times that I came home. His kisses showed me how much he needed me there with him. His movements were made to bring me maximum pleasure. Everything was perfected, as if he were afraid if he didn’t give me everything of his, I’d leave for sure.

The heels of my feet pressed into the squishy flesh of his back, tightening around him as I hit my peak. My back arched into his chest tenderly, surely wanting to be as close to him as I could.

As we came down and relaxed against each other, his arms wrapped around me, making sure I couldn’t leave in the middle of the night again. I’d give him that much.

“I love you,” he whispered, brushing his lips against my sweaty forehead.

I curled up into the familiar words, sighing in content. “I love you too.”

The sound of rain pounding on the rooftop lulled us into sleep, pressed against each other like we really needed the other.



I carefully wiggled out from under Raven’s arm, all heavy and weighted, and untangled myself from the warm blankets. The cold air viciously bit at my exposed skin as I reached for my boxers laying on the floor. I tugged them up my legs and searched out a shirt. I tiptoed toward the door.

“I ain’t stupid.”

I jumped at the sudden voice coming from the bed. I turned just as he sat up against the headboard. “I just have to use the bathroom.” I went back over to him and pressed my lips to his. “Do you really think I’d leave in only boxers and a shirt?”

“You’ve done it in less,” he countered.

“I’ll be two seconds. I promise.” I quickly ran to the bathroom and relieved myself before heading back to the bedroom, ready to just curl up against him for a few more weeks.

He looked thankful when I returned and shut the door behind me. I crawled up the bed to him and kissed him.

“See?” I teased.

“How was I supposed to know?”

“You’re supposed to trust me, Raven.” I tunneled my hand through his jet black hair. “I’m not done with you yet.” I leaned up and kissed him again.


I stood outside by the tree we used to climb when we were young and ignorant. It was raining again; the little tink! tink! tink! of it hitting the gutter with the patter against the leaves were the only sounds surrounding me. I took a long drag from the cigarette hanging between my fingers.

Raven watched me from behind the screen door, convinced that this was the last time that he was going to see me for another year or so.

I looked out over the endless fields between me and the next house, unsure if I could actually leave my home again. I turned to face Raven, who’d moved out to the veranda, squinting against the rain to see me.

I took another drag.

I stepped out from underneath the comfort of the tree, letting the rain drip down on me in buckets. I kept my gaze on Raven, even as rain hit my face, my eyes.

The intense stare I received was almost too much; I looked down as I took the dead cancer stick from between my lips and dropped it to the ground.

Raven stepped off of the porch and joined me in the rain. “You’re going to catch a cold.”

“Don’t you want me too? Aren’t you afraid I’m going to leave you again?”

“I always am, Lion,” he conceded.

I looked up at the clouds, rain splashing directly in my eyes a few times.



“Lion.”

I looked up at a spent Raven.

“Please don’t go,” he begged, his face void of expression.

I walked up to him and kissed him. He kissed me back just as desperately as I did, pulling me flush against him.

I left as he slept that evening, comfortably naked and blissed out between in the sheets. I took one final look at him as I stopped at the door, before disappearing into the night again.