Everything I Didn't Say

It was late afternoon when Alexa struggled inside her home her hands full with several shopping bags and William who was snuggled against her shoulder as his eyes fluttered open and closed. The child fought to stay awake whereas his sister was fast asleep curled up in Arilia’s arms. Alexa heard the door click signalling it was unlocked, shoving it open she placed her bags against the wall before walking into the lounge room.

“I’m just gonna go put Will down then I will come and get Ella from you,”

“Babe, I think I can put her in her crib,” Arilia chuckled lightly at her friend. Alexa smiled nodding her head.

“I suppose you can,” she stated playfully earning a look from her friend. Walking down the hallway she entered the twins room walking over to the rocking chair she sat down and gently began to rock as William slowly drifted off to sleep. Her dark eyes followed Arilia as she placed Ella in her cot pulling her blankets up around her gently running her hands over her sleeping face.

“She looks like you Lex,” Arilia stated turning to look at her friend a kind smile spread across her face.

“She looks a lot like her dad as well,” Alexa smiled. The silence between the two was comfortable as Alexa continued to rock her son until her dark haired friend pointed out he was fast asleep.

Slowly the brown haired mother got to her feet and walked over placing her sleeping son in his cot gently pressing a kiss to his fore head and pulling his blankets up around him. Walking over she pressed a kiss to her daughters fore head smiling at her. Quietly the two friends left the sleeping children and walked back out into the lounge room where Flynn and Clare were snuggled up on the long couch.

“Who wants to watch Sword in The Stone?” Alexa asked earning two smiles from the children. Quickly she placed the DVD into the player, pressing play when the selection screen came up. Alexa fell into a chair while Arilia sat next to her two children that were fighting to keep their eyes open.

By the second scene Flynn and Clare were asleep snuggled up to each other, Arilia snapped a photo smiling before sending it to Ryan.

“Do you want a rug for them?”

“Yeah I have one on their bag.”

“I’ll get it,” Alexa said getting to her feet and walking toward the front door where Arilia had dropped her bag, seeing the blue cotton rug on top she grabbed it and her other bags taking them back into the lounge room. “Here you go love,” she handed the blanket over as Arilia chucked it over the two.

The two friends sat in silence for several minutes before Arilia broke it.

“So…” she began turning to look at Alexa who was now seated comfortably on one of the lounge chairs.

“Why do you think you are having these dreams?”

Alexa sighed shrugging her shoulders, “I don’t know, I have never had these dreams before, but recently BAM! I am dreaming about him.”

“Are these dreams… sexy dreams… I mean it has been a while…” Arilia stated looking at her friend a smirk spreading across her face.

“Arilia!” Alexa gasped feeling as a warm blush spread across her cheeks.

“So they are…”

“No!” the blush on her cheeks deepened and the brown haired woman knew her friend was lying.

“No judgement, but you have to tell me what happens in them… I’m your best friend and deserve to know about these sexy dreams and what they entail.”

“I’m not telling you,” Alexa stated firmly but she couldn’t stop the embarrassed smile that stretched across her face.

“Oh come on Lex don’t be such a spoil sport,” Arilia pressed her friend, Alexa sighed defeated.

“Fine I will tell you, but it’s not all rainbows and puppy dogs.”

“Just tell me!”

“Alright, alright.” Alexa began. “Well it always starts off with me waking to three loud bangs at the front door. Sometimes it’s raining outside and others it’s a perfect night. Anyway, I answer the door and I don’t have a chance to say or do anything before he is kissing me…” Alexa trails off at the memory, at the feeling of the singers lips on hers. “His hands are all over me, and it’s just like when we first started dating, urgent and fierce. Like we can’t get each other naked soon enough. Some dreams he carries me to my room and others he just lays me down on the couch and things get really heated.” Alexa can feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment as she retells the intimate moments of her dreams to her friend.

“Like how heated?” Arilia asked turning into a fifteen year old teenager.

“Use your imagination,” this earns a devilish smirk from her friend.

“I could never see you being all heated and hot with a guy.”

“What?” Alexa spluttered, “What do you mean?”

“I dunno, I always saw you into the slow, gentle, careful love making.” a snort falls from Alexa as she shakes her head at her friend. “Anyway what happens next?”

“He hears Ella crying, and he always looks confused for a few moments before his features change into angry and he just gets up and leaves, he doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t stop when I try to get him to. I always wake up before I can physically stop him and tell him about the twins. That’s why I always wake up in so much pain, I never get the chance to tell him about our children, and he always looks so angry, so betrayed and it cuts me open.”

Arilia stays silent, not sure what to say to her friend. “For years I have wanted to tell him but that will result in cameras everywhere, media shooting questions at both of us and I don’t want Willam and Ella to have to face that. As much as I want Louis to know I want to keep my babies out of the viciousness of being famous and all it entails. I know that sounds so selfish but can you blame me?”

“No, I can’t.” Arilia agrees as she looks at her two sleeping angles. “but I think you need to tell Louis one day. He deserves to know that he has two beautiful children.”

“Yeah I know,” Alexa nodded turning her head to look in the direction of her babies room, a gentle smile spreading across her face. “I’ll tell him, when the time is right.”