Take Me Home, Country Roads

Cap and I went out riding every day.

Sometimes Johnse and Roseanna came with us, sometimes Robert E, or even some of the younger kids. A couple of times Tom Wallace or Alex Messer or French Ellis joined, meeting us along the road and deciding to tag along. Most of the time, though, it was just the two of us.

We always ended up at the meadow above the lake, riding through the tall grass, faster and faster each day I gained more experience. When we were alone, we would stop and lie in the grass and talk for what felt like hours. I was sure that Lavicy and Anse and Johnse (well, everyone to be honest) knew something was up – but no one said anything.

Well, maybe that was because there wasn’t much going on. Cap and I sent each other glances, gentle touches here and there, and he found a way to kiss my cheek every night, but that was really it. Even when we were alone up in the meadow, Cap barely gave me more than a chaste kiss or a soft hold of my hand. It was infuriating…but at the same time, I didn’t want to push it. We were becoming better friends…he was actually my best friend, when I thought about it…and I didn’t want to ruin anything by being a ‘loose woman’ or whatever their Victorian minds might dislike. It also gave me more time try and figure my own situation out, though I wasn’t making much progress.

That being said, the sexual tension was unbearable. I had no idea how Cap was handling it, but I could barely stand half of the time he left me at the top of the stairs having just kissed me, his breath lingering on my cheek. The jelly-like feeling in my legs and tightening of my lower abdomen had nothing to do with the amount of horse riding I was doing.

I had asked Roseanna what she and Johnse did – or at least I tried to ask.

We were laying in bed one night and the little girls had fallen asleep. Roseanna was asking me about New York and my family and friends, and I felt that we were at the stage in our friendship that gossip about boys would be appropriate. Especially since she straight up asked me if there was anything going on between Cap and I.

“We are taking it slow,” I had responded carefully, but knowing that I could trust her. “But I…I really think I have strong feelings for him.”

“That’s for the best. Don’t wanna rush nothin’ and get yourself into trouble.”

“I know that, but it’s really hard,” I admitted, blushing slightly. “I just…I want to be close to him…physically…and I know that it’s important to everyone that there isn’t any hanky panky or whatever but...how do you and Johnse handle it? Do you run off to his drip still?”

Roseanna’s cheeks flushed and she looked away from me. I didn’t think she would respond at first, that I had crossed a line. My friends back home always discussed these sort of things, usually in pretty crass terms with no embarrassment whatsoever, but Roseanna was not like that.

“We have…lain together as a man and a woman do,” she replied quietly, though it sounded as if she had never regretted anything more. “I love him, Emma,” she said, turning to me, her eyes glistening.

I felt awkward for causing her to feel that guilty. I really just need to shut my mouth. “I know, Roseanna.”

I didn’t bring it up again after that.

By the middle of July, I was a pretty good rider.

So good that I decided I wanted my own horse. Naturally.

“You what?” Cap asked, as he hoisted a hay bale down from the loft in the barn. “You just started ridin’.”

“But I’m always having to borrow one, either Star or Johnse’s mare or I’m stuck riding one of the cart mules which is just embarrassing.” I hung onto the ladder as he climbed down, giving him a pleading look. “I have money, I could buy one myself, no problem.”

“It ain’t just about buyin’ it, Ems. You gotta house it, feed it, tack it. You gotta make sure it’s broken in properly. You gotta ask Pa if he’s willin’ have another horse when the barn’s full enough as it is.”

I stepped up to him with a sweet smile. “And would you possibly help me persuade Anse to let that happen?”

“Ugh, I don’t know, Ems.” Cap moaned and stepped away from me.

“Please, Cap!” I begged, following him as he moved towards the door. “I don’t have anything of my own here and I’m tired of having to depend on other people if I need to go somewhere. I need some freedom and I’m willing to do all I need to do to make this happen.” He stopped and looked at me.

“Weren’t you the girl who didn’t even want to learn to ride not too long ago?”

“Chalk it up to what a wonderful teacher you are,” I smiled, knowing I was about to get my way. “I’ll even let you help me pick one out. I’ll need your expertise.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep, because we all know what a fine judge of character you are.” I stood on my tiptoes as if I were about to kiss him, but hovered just out of his reach. I was about to use the sexual tension in my favor.

He sighed, staring at my lips. “Fine, fine. I’ll talk to Pa.”

“You’re the best,” I replied, finally giving him a quick kiss.

The next week, we were on our way to Mate Creek to the horse sale with everyone. I hadn’t expected it to be a family affair, but part of the reason we convinced Devil Anse was with the help of Lavicy, who wanted to go into town. It had taken some persuading (and my offer to not only buy the horse but also pay for its feed and board), but finally he had grudgingly agreed.

The horse sale was a big deal, so it seemed – I had never seen Mate Creek so busy – but I ignored the swarms of new faces, instead focusing on finding myself the very first thing I could call my own here, something that would give me an inkling of freedom.

“It’s not just the horse, you know,” Cap repeated his words from before, walking alongside me, his hand brushing mine every once in a while. “You’re gonna need a saddle and bridle at the very least, not to mention taking him to a farrier. And then you’re gonna - ”

“Can we at least find the horse first and then worry about all this?” I asked impatiently, as we wound our way through the crowds toward the stalls. Cap shook his head good-naturedly at me.

“Sure thing, Ems. Sure thing.”

We had broken away from the rest of the family, save Johnse and Roseanna, almost as soon as we arrived. The little children wanted to go see the trick-riders, while Anse headed off the tavern with his brother Elias and Uncle Jim. Johnse and Roseanna had wanted to go off their own ways, but I asked them to stick around, mostly because I still didn’t think it was appropriate for Cap and I to be alone. If we were, I wasn’t sure I could control myself around him. We walked along the rows and I eyed each horse. I knew nothing about horses, hence the reason Cap was there, but I was hoping that one would just sort of jump out at me.

Roseanna and Johnse had wandered ahead of us, just to have a bit of alone time.

“What about this one?” Johnse asked as we approached him. He was standing at a dapple gray horse, petting it on the head. “He’s a mighty fine like, if you ask me.”

“Mighty fine ‘cept for the lame leg,” Cap replied, kneeling down and peering around the animal.

“How’d ya know it’s lame?” his brother challenged as I walked away, looking casually to my left and right, hoping that something would happen…and then it did.

“Ah! Cap…Cap…CAP!” I yelled at him, wincing in pain having been jerked backwards by the braid. “It’s got my hair! It’s got my hair!”

Johnse, Roseanna and Cap came rushing up to where I was standing next to the stall, a massive black horse casually holding my long braid in its mouth, bouncing its head up and down playfully. I would have found it endearing if I wasn’t worried about my hair being torn from my scalp by the roots.

“Woah there,” Cap said, reaching out to pet the animal. With a terrifying snort, the horse dropped my hair and reared violently, flaring its nostrils in Cap’s direction. We both stumbled back away, shocked by the reaction.

“Well that one’s just plum crazy,” Johnse said, as Roseanna clung to his arm like a genuine damsel in distress. It would have annoyed me if it weren’t her actual personality.

“What the hell’s wrong with it?” Cap asked, looking curious. He stepped forward again, slowly, and the horse snorted angrily, kicking its front legs against the fence door.

“Somethin’ clearly, it’s not even half the price of the others.”

I peered at the horse with interest. It was all black, darker than Anse’s devilish stallion, save for the three white dots down its nose. Its eyes were fearful, not angry, as it started at Cap and Johnse, who were trying to read the sign.

“Says its was brought up by Carl Levanger. Makes sense it’s got a mean streak; Carl’s a harsh bastard. Beats his animals senseless.” Cap shook his head sadly as he looked at the horse. “Shame. This here’s a fine lookin’ colt.”

They started to move away, but I was intrigued. I approached the horse again, raising my hand cautiously to its head. The horse didn’t react, at least not like it had to Cap and Johnse. Instead, he pushed his nose into my hand, sniffing me with interest. Gaining confidence, I stepped forward completely, running my hand along his sleek neck, as he ruffled my hair with his nose. I laughed; it was like he was hugging me in his own way.

“Wait,” I called out to them. “I want this one.”

Cap ran his hand through his hair, looking back at me in disbelief. Roseanna looked worried and Johnse just smiled in amusement. “You can’t get him, he ain’t been broken in right. Won’t never be a good ride.”

“But look,” I pouted, hugging the horses neck. “He likes me.”

“Listen, Emma,” Cap started walking back over to me. As soon as he got within reach, however, the horse snapped him, completely ignoring the fact that I was still standing there. “Ya see? That there horse ain’t no good.”

“Roseanna, come here,” I said quickly, getting an idea. “Come pet him.”

She looked at Johnse quickly, but he just shrugged. Slowly she walked over to me, her eyes never leaving the horse. “I don’t know, Emma…”

“Just come here,” I said again, watching both of them closely. Roseanna inched closer, her hand shaking as he reached up to touch the animal. He stared at her calmly, sniffing her hand as she held it out to him. A moment passed.

“See,” I grinned, hugging his neck again. “He’s not damaged, he’s just smart. Doesn’t trust men.” The Hatfield brothers looked at each other, while Roseanna and I cooed over the horse, which seemed to love the attention.

“He is mighty sweet,” Roseanna gushed, as he nudged her playfully.

“You can’t get a horse no one else can ride,” Cap tried to reason, but my mind was made up.

“Roseanna and the girls can ride him. Besides, he’s half price,” I replied, pulling his tag off the post and looking for the stall manager. “Means I can get everything else I need and pay your dad in advance. And if I’m wrong about him, then you get to say ‘I told you so’.”

“You shittin’ me right?” Carl Levanger asked, before spitting his tobacco chew at my feet. “You know pretty lady, this here horse is a defective. Ain’t gonna be no good for ridin’, best to stick a plow to it and work it till it’s dead.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” I replied, with more confidence than I should have had, considering my lack of equestrian knowledge. Cap and Johnse stood behind me as my muscle, but I wanted to do this on my own. “Thirty dollars was the price, well, here’s your money.” I handed him the bills and he counted them.

“Alright,” Carl replied, clearly thinking he was getting the better end of the deal. He walked to the gate and went to open it, but the horse reared again and let out a horrible roar, the presence of his former master too much for him to handle. As Carl reached for his lead, the horse lashed out, biting Carl square on the forearm.

“Why you son of a bitch,” Carl growled, looking at his bleeding wound and grabbing a cow-tail whip off of its hook. He went to hit the horse, but I jumped in front of him before Cap could stop me, adrenaline pumping through me.

“Stop!” I yelled, as I placed myself between him and the animal.

“He needs a beatin’,” Carl replied angrily, trying to get around me. I grabbed the horse’s lead and he almost immediately calmed.

“Well he isn’t yours to beat, not anymore.”

Cap stepped in at that point, shoving Carl back by the shoulder. “We appreciate your generosity in sellin’ us this here horse, Cousin Carl. Mighty nice of you.” His tone told Carl to move along.

The man snorted and spit again, dropping the whip to the ground and stomping off, thirty dollars richer.

“Don’t touch that,” I ordered Johnse, who had bent down to pick the whip up. “We won’t be needing it anymore.”

Johnse looked to his brother, but both he and Cap knew that I was not moving from my position. I turned and ran my hand down the horse’s neck.

“No one is ever going to hit you again, I promise.”

Minutes later, I was walking down the main row of the fair, my new purchase trailing obediently along behind me. Cap and Johnse kept their distance, and I watched in amusement as they looked at the horse with unmasked jealousy – both Roseanna and I pressed kisses to his neck and head.

“Well, look at you,” Ellison greeted as we arrived at his stall, lined with bridles and saddles of different makes, showing off his work. “Miss Emma Anderson, I do say you’ve got yourself a mighty fine animal there.”

“Thank you, Ellison,” I replied with a smile and a pointed look at the boys. “This here is Orion and he needs some tack.”

“Orion?” Johnse asked.

I didn’t quite know when the constellation had been named, or if it was even something I could explain to them. The three white dots in a line had given me the idea, so I just went with the myth. “It’s Greek mythology,” I replied. “Orion was a great hunter, incredibly strong. The son of a god.”

“Was he ornery, too?”

I shot Johnse a look to shut his mouth, and then turned to Ellison. “He’s doesn’t really seem to get along with men, only Roseanna and I have had any sort luck with coming near him.”

As if on cure, Cotton ran around from behind the stall, straight up to Orion.

“Cotton – no!”

“Is this your new horse, Emma?” He asked, as he stroked Orion’s neck. The horse looked at him calmly. I blinked and looked at Johnse and Cap, who both looked a little insulted. Ellison chuckled.

“I’ve seen that happen before. Some horses who ain’t broken in right have a grudge against those they associate with their beaters. Usually women and children ain’t seen as threats. I think I’ve got some things here, won’t need to take his measurements if you don’t mind not havin’ something custom.”

“Not at all,” I grinned, happier than ever with my selection. Orion was perfect.

Only, not every one seemed to think so.

Outside the tavern an hour later, I was struggling to lift the saddle onto Orion’s back. He was massive and I couldn’t reach over him or lift the heavy thing on my own. Every time Cap tried to help, Orion bucked his head and snorted in upset. Lark and French laughed at me as I struggled, only stopping when Cap punched Lark on the shoulder.

“We’ll figure this out, ‘Rion,” I said in determination, grabbing a stool from the front porch of the tavern. Using it to give me height and leverage, I finally managed to get his saddle on, tightening it like Cap had taught me on Star and the other Hatfield family horses. Stepping back, I looked at him with pride. “See?” I asked the boys, who merely sipped their whiskey and shook their heads in amusement.

“Miss Anderson!”

I looked across the street to Walt, the owner of the general store waving at me.

“Miss Anderson, your orders have arrived.”

“Oh, awesome. Cap, watch my horse, will you?” I took off across the street, leaving my Cap standing there, holding Orion’s lead and looking nervous.

I entered the store, the bell ringing as the door pushed open – and slammed into a dark haired girl standing near the entrance.

“Oh!” she said in alarm, glaring at me as I stumbled in, all excited because of my earlier purchase.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” I apologized quickly with a smile. “I didn’t see you there.”

“Clearly,” she replied snidely.

“Okay then,” I said slowly, deciding just to walk away before my mouth got me in trouble, but she looked me up and down then with interest.

“You ain’t that Yankee girl that moved in with the Hatfield’s not too long ago, are you?” She asked and judging by the look on her face, I wasn’t quite sure what to answer. The truth seemed like the best and only option.

“That would be me,” I replied, moving to the counter, hoping to end the conversation. She didn’t get the hint.

“Well ain’t that something. I’m Nancy McCoy, my cousin Roseanna’s been stayin’ with Johnse for some time now.”

“Openin’ her legs, I bet my life,” a swaying, bearded man added, stumbling over. His breath reeked of whiskey.

“And this here’s my brother Jefferson,” Nancy introduced, looking at the man affectionately. I did my best not to look disgusted, both at his smell and at their behavior.

“Nice to meet you both.” It wasn’t, really. I paid for the books, not missing the fact that Nancy was standing there, eyeing me as if she had some secret plan that I didn’t know I was apart of. I glanced up at her.

“Can I help you?”

“Don’t know, can you bring my pappy back?”

“Uh…what?”

“Hey, Emma?” Johnse Hatfield burst into the store. “Oh, hey Nancy.”

“Hey Johnse.”

“Um, Emma, your horse just took a nasty bite out of Uncle Jim’s shoulder…you might want to get out there ‘fore he does somethin’ you don’t like.”

“Say no more,” I replied, grabbing my books and running out the door, partly to get away from that awkward Nancy McCoy and partly to make sure Jim Vance didn’t put a bullet through my horse’s brain.

He was shouting and kicking up a storm as Cap and Elias held him back, trying to get at Orion with the butt of his pistol. As I ran up, I shouted for them to knock it off.

“Leave him alone,” I said, grabbing Orion’s lead and settling myself between the agitated horse and irate Jim Vance. I was scared of him, sure, but I wasn’t about to back down here.

“That there is a son of a devil horse,” Jim bit out, spittle flying towards me. I stood my ground. “’Bout near took my ear off.”

“You aren’t even bleeding,” I replied in annoyance, feeling a bit better when Jim’s face turned an even deeper shade of red.

“Let it go, Jim,” Cap ordered, shoving his uncle one more time and readjusting his shirt.

“What’s goin’ on?” Anse asked, walking up with Lavicy and their younger children. “Ya’ll keep embarassin’ me in public like this I might just take to whippin’ some of ya.”

“Your ward,” Jim said, the second word sounding like dirtiest thing he could think of, “done gone and spent your hard earned money on a damn crazy colt.”

Anse smoked a puff of his pipe and looked at me. Orion was nudging at my hands, wanting me to pet him. He then looked at Jim, who was disheveled and with a very visible bruise forming on his shoulder, where he was holding his shirt down to show the evidence.

“Weren’t my money she spent,” he finally said to Jim. “And if it’s crazy, well, she’s the only one who’s gonna deal with it.” If I didn’t know any better, I could have sworn I saw a hint of a smile as he looked at the fury on Jim’s face.

**

“I’m king of the world!” I yelled as Orion galloped through the meadow, faster than I had every gone before.

I hadn’t taken long for me and my new horse to find a rhythm – riding every day will do that. I didn’t care if I had to wake up before dawn, I was riding him. Cap had told me that eventually the horse would become an extension of myself, that the slightest touch could command and communicate – he was right. Orion and I…we clicked. It was weird and cheesy and something best kept to a Disney movie, but I felt it. We both loved the feeling of the wind in our hair, the rumbled of the ground beneath us, the sun in our eyes. If I didn’t at least see him by noon, Orion made his displeasure known, disrupting all the other horses. Anse was fed up after a week and warned me that if I didn’t keep him under control, he’d be selling him the next chance he got. So, of course, I used it a more of an excuse to go out riding longer.

And Cap was right there with me every single day.

Through our rides and lazy lounging in the meadow, I learned so much more about Cap. Every little detail about him endeared him to me more and more…the attachment was growing and I found myself reveling in the feeling of becoming so close to someone.

He was the most well-read in his family, always with a book on his person, some paper and a pencil as well. He would write down words he didn’t know to ask his Uncle Wall about later on.

Cap ran his hand through his hair whenever he was embarrassed or anxious.

Uncle Jim had bought him his first pistol. Johnse had only just gotten his, and Anse didn’t think Cap was old enough.

He hated corn, though it was one of his family’s main crops. It got stuck in his teeth.

And he absolutely loved West Virginia. He loved the rivers and the hills and the fields and the trees and the sky. And his love for his home was rubbing off on me.

“You’re gonna break your neck, girl,” He laughed as he raced along side me. “Got a bit of a daredevil on my hands!”

I pulled back on the reins, bringing Orion to a stop as we reached the middle of the meadow. It was hot, really hot, and the sweat trickled off down my neck. I dismounted, letting Orion wander off on his own with Star to graze in the shade. Those two horses got on like peas and carrots, much like their owners.

With a dramatic sigh about the heat, I flopped down in the cool grass, spreading my skirts around me hoping to let some breeze blow up and cool me further. Cap lay down beside me, his shirt halfway unbuttoned. The glimpse of his chest hair and the tiny beads of sweat glistening on his tone torso…umf.

I forced myself to look away. “Hey, do you think we can visit Johnse’s drip still tomorrow?” I asked. “I still haven’t been to see it.”

Johnse had been out of the house the past few days, working at his still and making deliveries to different parts of Logan and Mingo counties. Apparently his moonshine was some of the best around, and he was definitely proud of the high demand it was in. Roseanna was acting strange, but chalked it up to not feeling well. I just assumed she missed Johnse.

“He’s comin’ over for supper tonight and I gotta work tomorrow, but how about later in the week?”

“I guess that works,” I replied, slightly disappointed. I only needed Cap to show me where it was once, and my impeccable sense of direction could handle the rest. Visiting Johnse would give me an excuse to get out of the house – I wasn’t quite sure how much longer riding lessons were going to help me get out of house and garden work.

“What do you want to do, Cap?” I asked, thinking more about Johnse and his dream of opening his own distillery.

“What d’ya mean?”

“Like, with your life? Johnse has his still. Do you plan on taking over the timber business after your dad?”

He sat there silent for the moment, staring up at the clouds. Sitting up, he folded a piece of grass and stuck it between his lips, letting out a high-pitched whistle. I waited for him to respond.

“Ideally, no,” he finally replied, resting his arm on his knees which were pulled up to his chest. “But I ain’t got much of a choice, I reckon.”

I stayed in my position, but turned my head to look at him. “You always have a choice, Cap. If you could be anything, what would you want to be?”

He shrugged. “Don’t know. I mean, I’ve always liked what Uncle Wall does. Bein’ a lawyer and such, keepin’ the peace. But I don’t got enough schoolin’ for that.”

“It isn’t too late. You could always go to college and study to be a lawyer if you wanted to.”

Cap sighed and looked at me. The smile he gave me told me the conversation was over, that he had resigned himself to the life his father was planning for him. He laid back down, somewhat deflated, and my guilty conscience kicked in again.

“Christ, it’s hot,” I commented, standing up and unbuttoning my blouse. I could feel Cap’s eyes on my as I stripped it off, and started on the buttons of my skirt.

“Ems, what are you doin’?”

“Cooling off,” I replied casually, wiggling the skirt down my legs, until I was just standing in my light, white chemise. It was a relief to be out of the heavy cotton, and I looked over my shoulder at Cap, who was staring unsubtly at the silhouettes of my legs through the thin fabric. “Like what you see, Hatfield?”

He didn’t respond, only dragged his eyes up to meet mine. Looking at him, lounging on the grass, his chest and collarbones exposed, that quirked smile on his lips…it was too much to for one girl to handle. I wasn’t planning on going all the way, just to show him that I wasn’t the delicate flower Roseanna was.

I walked over to him, kneeling down and straddling his waist.

“Ems…” He started, but was silenced as I pressed my lips against his. He tasted amazing – like whiskey and good tobacco and pure, country man. I kissed him harder, biting his lip until he gave me access to his tongue. As soon that happened, something switched inside his brain.

Cap’s hands suddenly found themselves wandering my body with a firm, determined focus. They were on my thighs, then my waist, making their way up to my breasts as though he could read my every thought and desire. He flipped me over onto the grass, kissing me deeply and pressing his body into mine. His desire was fairly obvious as well, pressing itself against my thigh.

I got a rush thinking about what I did to him, knowing that he found me so attractive, so appealing, and not just in a physical way. How he’d restrained himself so far had proven that to me.

I pushed my pelvis upward, trying to convey how much I wanted him too, boldly sliding my hand down his body to the front of his trousers.

Cap pulled away suddenly, sitting up and leaving me alone in the grass, confused and embarrassed.

“We shouldn’t, Ems,” he said, breathing heavily. I blushed furiously, unable to believe how dumb I was. Of course, we shouldn’t.

I apologized, sitting up and scooting away from him, grabbing my shirt and pulling it back on with shaky hands. It felt like I had been doused with cold water.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said quickly, adjusting himself. “It’s my fault too and it ain’t…it ain’t like I don’t want to. I just don’t wanna screw things up with you like Johnse did with his girl.”

“I got it, Cap,” I replied, sharper than I meant to. “It’s fine.”

The ride home was awkward, to say the least. Awkward and quiet. I shouldn’t have been so weird about it, I know. A girl should appreciate a man being a gentleman, right? But I was so sexually frustrated at this point, I just wanted to smack him and tell him to screw me senseless, fuck what anyone else thought. That wouldn’t go over well, though, so rather than risk it I just kept my mouth shut completely.

I left him in the barn to handle the horses, wanting nothing more than a glass of whiskey for myself. But when I entered the kitchen, I stopped short, seeing a forlorn Johnse sitting at the table. He looked as if he’d been crying.

“Johnse?” I asked, my disappointing afternoon with Cap vanishing instantly from my mind. “What’s wrong?”

He looked up at me, eyes bloodshot. “It’s…it’s Roseanna, Ems. She’s gone.”