I'm Just a Puppet and She's Holding the Strings

"This... Is so not real," I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair.

"Well, it's not fake so it obviously must be real," Pierre raised his eyebrows at me.

"This better not be a wind up," I accused as I leaned back on the counter.

"Oh yeah," He rolled his eyes and shook his head, "I wouldn't joke about this Rach, I wouldn't risk hurting you, you know that,"

I smiled slightly at him.

"I can't believe it," I gasped.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't supposed to tell you so let's keep this on the down low, okay?"

"I will do, don't worry your pretty little head about it," I teased.

"You're all happy now aren't you?" He smiled.

"I am," I nodded as I stood up properly, "All thanks to you,"

"Well, that's how I roll, I'm lovely like that you see," He laughed, "I like it when you're happy and smiley, it makes me feel good and... Why have you gone into depressed mode?"

I looked up at him, realising that my smile had completely faded.

"I can't have him," I stated simply, "Damn it, I'd rather not have known,"

"Rachel, you knew that you couldn't have him from the beginning, what would make you think that knowing he liked you would allow you to have him?"

I rubbed my face with my hands and sighed, "I know... I just... Ugh, God I hate this,"

"Hey, come on, at least you know that he thinks about you," He tried to cheer me up.

I sighed dejectedly and shrugged, "It's not the same," I smiled sadly.

Pierre wandered over to me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a hug. I let my head fall onto his shoulder.

"What happened to your promise not to get depressed tonight?"

"I made it before I knew this,"

"If it makes you feel any better, if he wasn't getting married to Beth and he wasn't such a softie he would be with you already,"

"You think?"

"Mhm," He nodded.

"That makes me feel a little better I guess," I shrugged.

"I shouldn't really be telling you this either..." He trailed off.

I looked up at him, "What now? Chuck fancies me too?"

He laughed, "No, it's just um... You-know-who,"

I rolled my eyes at his attempt to be discrete, "Go on then, what?"

"I know that Beth makes him happy most of the time but if it was up to me, you should be the one with him. A couple that argues as much as they do over stupid things really isn't headed for anything but an end,"

"That shouldn't make me happy," I smiled, "But it does. But it doesn't at the same time because then Sebastien would be upset,"

He squeezed me to him, "Well in my opinion it's alright for you to be a bit happy,"

"You're just agreeing with me to make me feel better," I huffed.

"Yeah but I mean it as well,"

I nudged him playfully, "You're such a sweetheart," I grinned, pinching his cheeks.

"Get off me," He grimaced, slapping my hand away.

I laughed and curled my arms around his neck, pulling him into a proper hug, "Sometimes I wonder what I'd do without you,"

"You'd be a complete sludgy mess on the floor," He whispered as he snaked his arms around my waist and tightened his grip.

"Oh," A new voice joined, "Am I interrupting something?"

I pulled away from Pierre and turned to face the door.

"No, no," I smiled at Sebastien, "It's alright,"

"How did it go man?" Pierre asked.

"Did you not hear the door slam?" His eyebrow rose.

"She's left?" I frowned.

He nodded glumly and walked over to the counter, bunking himself up so he could sit on it and keeping his head down.

Pierre and I looked at each other before we looked back at Sebastien.

"You take this one," Pierre murmured to me as he walked past.

I looked up at him and frowned unsurely. He gave me a reassuring smile before he left the room, closing the door behind him.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair before I walked over to Sebastien and bunked myself up so I was sitting beside him.

He was staring at his hands which were together in his lap.

"I'm an idiot," He began.

"Don't say that," I frowned at him.

"Why? I am one,"

"How'd you figure that one out?"

"Because I always say the wrong thing,"

"Just because you always say the wrong thing doesn't mean you're an idiot," I stated, "And sometimes you're not even saying the wrong thing. If there's one thing I've learnt about you two it's that you speak your mind and she takes things too personally,"

He finally looked over to me and I smiled a little.

"Seriously Sebastien, no offence but she's a very overdramatic woman and sometimes I think she just argues with you because she can. Sometimes it seems like she does it so that you'll bow down to her every whim," I admitted.

I needed to stop being so bitchy about Beth. One day I'll say something that'll make Sebastien think I'm horrible.

"Listen to me," I began, shimmying closer to him so that the side of our thighs were touching, "I think that this time you need to wait for her to come back home. She needs time to cool off and if I've learnt anything from these past few months it's that she'll always come back as cheery as ever and still head over heels in love with you,"

I stopped talking and Sebastien stayed silent.

He finally heaved out a breath and moved his left hand from his lap.

I had to stop myself from shuddering and choking on nothing as he slid his hand down my inner, lower right arm and locked his fingers within my own.

He pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed my knuckles before he placed our hands back in my lap, keeping our fingers entwined together.

His thumb gently caressed my own as his eyes stayed on our hands.

"I don't know where I'd be without you sometimes," He sighed.

I smiled when I heard his voice- Both from just hearing him speak and from what he said.

"Well you know I'm always here when you need me," I half-smiled, still affected by him holding my hand.

"And you know that the same goes for you too, right?" He asked with a hopeful look.

"I do now,"

"I've always been here for you, ever since we were seventeen,"

I squeezed his hand and nudged him with my shoulder.

"Want a smoothie?" I offered, jumping down from the counter and reluctantly letting go of his hand.

"That depends on whether it's coming from the floor, the ceiling or the blender," He chuckled.

"The blender," I laughed.

"Then yeah I'll have one please,"

I nodded and dodged the splatters of smoothie on the floor.

"Do you have a mop by any chance?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"To clean this mess up,"

"Oh, don't worry about it, leave it. I'll make Chuck clean up, he made the mess,"

"Yeah, I know but it was an accident,"

"Either way he's still gonna clean it up,"

I shrugged, "Okay then,"

I took hold of some fruit, which the guys had already cut up, and threw a certain portion of each into the blender.

"Hey Seb?" I started after contemplating it for a minute.

"Yeah?"

"You know when we were younger?"

"Yeah,"

"How come you never replied to any of my letters?" I said slowly, trying to not sound very upset as I looked over my shoulder at him.

"What letters?" He frowned.

"I sent you about four or five letters when I was home and I text you too but I never got any replies,"

"Well, when I was on the beach on my last day of the holiday my phone got stolen so I couldn't reply to your texts. I hadnt had the chance to learn your number off by heart yet either so I couldn't tell you by phone," He explained, "And as for letters, I never got 'em," He shrugged.

There was a slight relief wave washing over me.

So he didn't ignore me.

"Why didn't you reply to my e-mails?" He questioned.

"E-mails?" I frowned in confusion, "What e-mails?"

He laughed slightly, "Guess you didn't get them then, I was sure it was right- RachelMo176@hotmail.com,"

I winced slightly, "RachelMMo167@hotmail.com," I corrected.

He sighed, "And here's me thinking you were ignoring me. I don't know which RachelMMo that I was e-mailing then,"

"I guess we just weren't meant to contact each other," I finalised, placing the lid on the blender.

"Until now," He added.

I looked back at him and smiled before I pressed the button on the blender.

I finished up with the smoothies and then poured some in a cup. I threw in a mini-umbrella, a straw and wedged a strawberry on the edge of the glass.

After dodging the mess on the floor again, I held out the glass to Sebastien.

"There you go,"

"Thanks," He grinned.

I looked at him hopefully as he sucked the liquid up the straw into his mouth.

"Is it alright?" I questioned.

He nodded profusely, "It's so good, I didn't know you could make smoothies,"

"Working in a bar doesn't mean I can only make alcoholic drinks, I can make non-alcoholic ones too," I smiled.

"Is there anything you can't do?" He chuckled.

Get you...

I sighed and shrugged before smirking, "No,"

He laughed and went back to drinking his smoothie as I began making them for the other four. Each of them having different fruits wedged on the rim of the glass.

"Guys, smoothies are done!" I yelled.

After a few minutes I heard a rabble of footsteps down the stairs and they soon came to the kitchen.

"Pick your poison," I grinned.

"What's the difference?" Chuck asked.

"Only the fruit wedges on the edge of the glass," I shrugged.

They each chose a glass and I watched as all but Pierre went over to talk to Sebastien.

I leaned against the counter and smiled when I saw them all enjoying their drinks.

"Makes sense that you'd give Sebastien the strawberry," Pierre spoke quietly to me as he played with the mini-umbrella and sipped at his drink.

I looked over at him with a raised eyebrow, "What?"

"You know what I mean,"

I frowned, "I have no idea what you're talking about,"

"Strawberries are an aphrodisiac," He stated simply.

"Oh shut up," I rolled my eyes.

"They are!"

"Only when they're with chocolate,"

"They're still part of one,"

I shook my head and pushed him.

"Hey watch it, I'll spill my smoothie,"

"I made it, I can take it off you,"

"You can try," He smirked smugly.

I shot him a glare.

"I hate you,"

"No," He denied, "You don't,"

"I wish I did,"

"No you don't,"

"Stop telling me what I think,"

"No," He laughed.

"Ugh, you do my head in,"

"No I don't,"

I slapped his arm and huffed.

He chuckled at me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into a side hug.

"You know you love me Rachel, you can't not love me,"

"Yes I can,"

He hit me gently in the side of my head with his forehead, "Get over it,"

I glared at him but I couldn't help but smile at the dopey grin he was pulling.

"See, you can't help but smile,"

"Shut up," I complained, my cheeks beginning to blush.

"I would but it's so funny," He teased, "Sebastien's looking at you," He whispered into my ear, his forehead still pressed against the side of my head.

My eyes shot up and I saw Sebastien's pale blue eyes locked on Pierre and I.

He sent me a small smile and I returned it before he looked away.

"Only one of the few times you've actually caught him," Pierre added quietly.

_A Few Hours Later_

"You ready to go?" Chuck asked as he stepped into the living room.

"Yeah," Chorused David, Jeff and Pierre.

"Come on then,"

"Hey Chuck?" I called.

He spun around and smiled, "Yeah?"

"Do you want me to drop Pierre off? I pass his house on my way home,"

"No it's alright, thanks," He grinned.

"Are you sure? It'll save you petrol,"

"I'll go with Rachel, Chuck. It saves you going out the way for me," Pierre added in.

"Alright then, go for it. Come on then you two," Chuck gestured for David and Jeff to follow him, "See ya Seb,"

The three boys then left and Pierre and I were escorted to the door by Sebastien.

"If Beth's not home by tomorrow night then you should call and make sure she's okay, concern will make her know you've been worried. Apologise and offer her something good to entice her if she doesn't want to come," I advised.

"When you say something good, you mean..."

"I don't mean you. I mean something that she doesn't usually have. She already has you,"

"Ah, gotcha," He nodded obediently, "See you soon,"

Pierre and Sebastien did their funky handshake thing and then he hugged me... With a friendly kind of hug.

"Thanks so much for all your help Rach, you're such a good friend. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you as a friend," He smiled as he pulled away.

I shrugged as my mind consistently concentrated on the word 'friend'.

I knew I was nothing more than that to him.

"That's what friends are for, right?" I reassured.

"Friends," He nodded, "Right," He agreed.

"See ya," I greeted before leaving with Pierre.

We got into the car and drove off, I noticed Sebastien's front door close form the corner of my eye.

After a few minutes of silence, I spoke up.

"You lied to me," I stated simply.

That wasn't exactly the best way to put it.

"What?" He frowned, laughing which was slightly leaning towards a hurt tone.

"Sebastien doesn't like me," My eyes stayed focussed on the road, I didn't even glance at him.

"Yes he does," He sighed.

"No he doesn't," I contradicted.

"Yes he does, he told me,"

"Then he was lying,"

"Why would he lie about that?"

"I don't know but he did,"

"Where's this come from all of a sudden?"

"Didnt you hear him back there? He's been going on about 'friendship' and crap to me all night! He was saying what a good 'friend' I was and how he didn't know what he'd do without me as a 'friend'. He even gave me a friend hug!"

Pierre snorted with laughter.

"It's not funny, I really believed you," I sighed sadly.

"It's the truth Rachel, I would never lie to you about that,"

"Then Sebastien would,"

"You name me one reason why he'd want to do that,"

"Maybe because he's clicked on that I like him and he's trying to get you to find out if he's right,"

"That's ridiculous," He scoffed.

"Oh is it now?"

"Yeah it is. I've known him for years, if he wanted to know if you like him he'd just ask me!"

"Well he knows how good of friends we are; Maybe he thought that you wouldn't tell him because you wouldn't tell a secret like that,"

"You're completely making this up now,"

"Well so is he!"

"Rachel for fuck's sake! He told me, it's true. Why in God's name don't you believe me?!"

"Because there's no proof!"

He flung his arm out and pointed out of the back window, "Go ask him!"

"Shut up," I frowned.

"No, I'm being serious, turn around and go ask him yourself,"

"I'm not gonna 'ask him myself'," I mocked, "It's not like he'd admit it and I'd just look like a complete idiot,"

"Yeah, 'cause that's new," He smirked.

I shot him a glare and slapped his arm quickly before returning my hand to the wheel.

"Hey!" He gasped.

"You deserved it,"

"No, I didn't, if you want proof then you should go and ask him,"

"I'm not going to ask him!"

"Fine, then I'll phone him and ask him myself," He pulled his phone out of his pocket and I quickly shot my hand out and slapped it so it fell to the floor.

"Rachel! What the fuck?!" He cursed at me and leaned over to search the floor.

"I'm sorry, just... Don't call him!" I ordered.

"If we don't ask him then how exactly do you intend to find out?"

I stayed silent.

"Exactly," He started dialling on his phone so I slapped it to the floor again.

"Rach!" He growled threateningly.

"I said don't phone him!"

He picked up his phone and I hit it once again.

He let out an exasperated, slightly irritated, groan which was muffled by his hands that were covering his face.

"You need to swear down on my life that you're not gonna phone him," I stated seriously.

He ignored me and bent down to pick up his phone.

I once again repeated my action.

"Rachel if you do that one more time I swear to God I'm gonna brain you," He threatened with a warning glare.

But I wasn't afraid of him.

"I'll stop it if you swear down on my life that you're not gonna phone Sebastien," I bargained casually with a slight shrug.

"Okay! Jeez, I swear down on your life that I'm not gonna phone Sebastien now will you stop attacking my phone!"

"Yes," I nodded, "See, that's all I wanted,"

"If this is broken then you're getting the bill," He spat.

"It won't be broken you big pansy," I insulted.

"Pansy?" He laughed, "Where the hell do you come up with these things?"

"I have no idea," I shrugged as I turned into Pierre's street.

"So are you just gonna not believe me about Sebastien then or are you gonna take my word for it?"

"I can't just 'take your word for it', no matter how much I trust you. I need proof," I sighed as I pulled over by his house.

"How're you gonna get it?" He frowned.

"I really don't know," I ran a hand through my hair.

"Why don't you just get a new boyfriend or something?" He suggested, undoing his seatbelt.

"What's that gonna do?" I asked with confusion.

"Well you obviously know a few things about relationships so I'm guessing you know a bit about jealousy as well,"

"Ooh..." I smiled knowingly, "I like where you're going with this,"

"If you get a new boyfriend and he gets jealous then you'll have your proof. If he doesn't then you'll know either me or him was lying, which I wasn't," He explained.

"But..." I paused.

"But what?" His eyebrows rose at me.

"But what if I find a guy and then I start to like him?"

"Well if Sebastien doesn't like you then keep on with the relationship," He shrugged.

"But what if I find a guy and I don't start to like him and then I find out whether Sebastien likes me or not and I wanna break up with him? I don't wanna hurt someone just because I wanted to see if someone else liked me," I admitted.

"Don't get an actual boyfriend then, get a pretend one,"

"How the hell am I gonna do that?"

"I dunno, hire someone,"

I shook my head with a dry laugh, "Pierre, I'm not gonna pay someone to be my boyfriend. It's a complete waste of money, it makes me seem desperate and I'm not gonna buy someone from a pimp,"

He laughed heartily, "You don't have to buy someone from a pimp,"

"Either way I'm still not hiring someone,"

He sighed, "You're so awkward,"

"Because I don't wanna pay money for someone to be my boyfriend?" My eyebrow rose at him.

"Yeah," He nodded with a smile.

"Well excuse me for having principles," I snorted.

He laughed slightly, "Well I can't think of any other way so you'll just have to not believe me," He shrugged.

I sighed, "Fine,"

"Unless..." It was like a light-bulb had just come on over his head.

"Unless what?" I asked with intrigue.

He looked over at me with a cheeky grin, "Do you wanna be my girlfriend?"

"Shut up," I giggled.

My giggling faded when he looked at me seriously.

"Oh, you're actually not kidding,"

"If this is the way you wanna go then if you think about it there's no downside," He spoke excitedly, "Because I'd be doing it to prove a point and you'd be doing it to find out something, we're not attracted to each other, right?"

I nodded, "Right,"

"So, when you find out what you want to know we can just pretend to break up as a mutual decision and it's not gonna change anything between us. If you think about it all the friendly stuff we do can easily be mistaken as flirting. And as long as we make it seem real and don't get awkward if we have to kiss or something to make it seem genuine then it'll all be cool,"

I took a deep breath and thought about it...

"It's honestly up to you though," He added.

I let my breath go and locked my blue eyes on his chocolate ones.

"So? What do you say?" He asked with a grin.

I bit my lip, "Okay,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "Let's do it,"
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I know I shouldn't take it
But I think I kinda like it
When she tells me that I'm dumb
And this may sound pathetic
But I think if we can make it
We'll go on and on and on and on
Love songs suck and fairytales aren't true
And happy ending Hollywood is not for me and you
So add it up and break it down
It's not that hard to figure out
You're crazy
And I'm crazy about you

Bowling For Soup- Smoothie King
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