I'm Just a Puppet and She's Holding the Strings

Sebastien's P.O.V

The second I closed the door behind me, I almost burst into tears.

I kept it inside, praying that I had the strength to stop myself from running back in and kissing her.

The only thing that was keeping me from that was knowing that she didn't want me.

I rubbed my hands over my face and headed downstairs.

"Seb, are you alright?" Pierre asked as he saw me come down the stairs.

Nodding vaguely, I sighed and cast a glance back up the stairs.

"Are you ready to go then?" Chuck questioned.

"Yeah," I cleared my throat, "Yeah let's go,"

We all headed for the door and I put my hand on Pierre's chest to stop him.

"Not you," I began.

He frowned, "Why?"

"Because Rachel needs you,"

"But... The wedding-" He gestured towards the car.

I shook my head, "The wedding can go on without you but Rachel needs you. I don't mind if you're not there for me but if I can't comfort her then you should. I really care about her and I can't have her upset,"

"But why can't you do it?"

"Because I can't go back in there," I shrugged, walking forwards towards the door.

He shot out his hand and grabbed my arm, "What happened? I thought you wanted her,"

"I do,"

"Then fight for her," He urged.

I sighed and briefly looked in his eyes, "She doesn't want me to,"

"Are you kidding me?! She loves you!"

"If she loves me so much then why did she tell me to get married to Beth?"

"Because she cares more about other people's happiness than her own," He replied, "Come on Seb, think about this,"

"I have. I've just served her everything I have, I told her that I'd give everything up for her but she said no. She sent me to get married and that's what I'm going to do,"

"You can't give up on her,"

"I didn't," I admitted, "She gave up on me,"

He let go of my arm and crossed his own.

"Look after her for me," I whispered.

"I guess I'll have to, won't I?" He sniped.

My eyes fell to the floor, "She just relinquished me of that responsibility,"

And with that I left the house.

Pierre's P.O.V

I'd never held so much irritation for him right then.

I wanted to slap some sense into him. I wanted to shake him by the shoulders and tell him that he's being stupid.

Half way through I was talking to him, I realised that I was supposedly going out with Rachel.

But when he didn't pull a face I figured Rach had already told him the truth.

I closed the front door and walked upstairs, hovering outside Sebastien's bedroom as a pang of pity hit me when I heard a quiet sob.

For a moment, a very split second, I hated Sebastien for doing this to her... But you can't help who you fall in love with.

After preparing myself, I twisted the handle and wandered inside coming to face Rachel with her knees hugged to her chest, her body as small as she could possibly make it.

When she heard me step inside, her head shot up, her puffy red eyes meeting my saddened brown ones.

I smiled slightly at her and I knew she could read that I knew what happened in my eyes.

Her body shuddered slightly as she took a shaking breath and fiercely wiped her tears as if that would somehow calm her down.

It didn't work- the tears were still running down her face- but it gave her the opportunity to speak with less sobbing in her voice.

Except I could see the pain in her eyes.

That small yellow streak was gone, like the light in her eyes had flickered out the minute Sebastien had left the room.

"What are you doing here?" She whimpered, "I thought everyone left,"

"They did,"

"So why haven't you?"

"Sebastien said you need me more than the wedding does so I'm staying here with you,"

"I'm fine," She sniffed, frantically smearing the mascara stained tears from her eyes.

"You're blatantly lying to my face there,"

"I know," She nodded bursting out into a fresh flood of tears.

I hurried over to her and took her in my arms, hushing her and rocking her in a failed attempt to calm her down.

"I'm such an idiot," She blubbered.

"Don't you ever say that," I scolded, pulling away from her and lifting her chin so I could stare into her overflowing eyes.

"I am though, I didn't even put up a fight for him- I just let him walk out,"

"That doesn't mean you're an idiot," I shook my head, trailing my thumb across her cheek to get rid of some of the tears, "He's the idiot for walking out, just because you didn't stop him doesn't mean you're the stupid one,"

"I told him to go though. I told the man I love to go and marry another woman- That means I'm an idiot,"

"No babe, it doesn't. It means that you care about everyone else more than you care about yourself,"

"Because I'm-"

"Rachel, will you shut up? You're not an idiot, no matter how many times you call yourself it; you're never going to be it,"

"But-"

"No," I spoke sternly, "You are an intelligent, funny, exciting, stunningly beautiful woman and Sebastien Lefebvre is a fucking idiot for walking out of here without a fight,"

She cracked a smile and I kissed her forehead.

"God, I still can't stop crying," She chuckled, tears still cascading, "And it still really hurts," Her chuckle dissipated and we were back at square one.

I sighed and pulled her close to me, whispering reassuring words into her ear.

Rachel's P.O.V

Ten minutes later, I still hadn't run out of tears.

I was begging them to stop but they wouldn't.

"Pierre," I cried, "Could you take me home?"

I felt his lips against the top of my head.

"Of course I can sweetheart,"

I sniffed hard and ran a hand through my hair, "Do you think he has any tissues in here?"

He shrugged, "Let's have a look,"

He squeezed me tight and then let me go to search through the cupboards.

As he did one side, I did the other still snivelling and wiping my eyes on the sleeves of my shirt.

"There's none over this side," I sighed, pushing another tear from beneath my eye, "Any luck?" I asked, turning around to see Pierre rummaging through a cupboard.

"I could just get some tissue from the toilet," The thought came to me and I headed to the door.

"Shit!" Pierre yelped as I heard the noise of cardboard hitting the floor. I turned around and saw an old shoe-box's contents spilt over the floor.

I frowned as I caught a glimpse of something hidden within the mass of papers.

Pierre hurried to gather them all up.

"Wait, wait," I stopped him.

"What?"

"What's that?" I pointed to the mess.

"What's what?" He raised his eyebrow at me.

"That," I pointed more urgently and wandered over to pick up the item of interest, "Holy crap," I gasped.

"What is it?" Pierre peered over my shoulder, "Oh! It's you and Seb," He gently took the picture from my hands.

"When was this taken?" He asked.

"Eight and a half years ago," I replied, noticing my tears had somewhat dried.

"God," He breathed, "You've changed so much,"

I smiled slightly, "I know,"

"This was when you two met on holiday, right?"

"Yeah," I nodded, slightly dreamily.

"You two look so close,"

"Well I am pretty much sitting on him,"

"No, I don't mean physically close, I mean emotionally close,"

I sighed, "We were. Very close,"

I slowly took the photo back before I dropped it back into the box.

"But young love is destined for nothing but heartbreak,"

"That's not true," He denied, "Lots of couples who fell in love young are married and still strong,"

"Okay, let me rephrase that. Young love for me is destined for nothing but heartbreak. I'm surprised he's kept it all these years," I shrugged, tidying all the other papers back into the box.

"It's not young love anymore," Pierre stated.

"What?"

"You're not kids anymore Rach, you're both adults so this isn't young love- It's full blown, head over heels, heart-aching, soul-mate love,"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, "Darling, give it a rest. The game's over; I lost. Now we both have to deal with it," I smiled despondently, cupping his cheek in my hand, "Now where did this box go?"

"Third shelf," He muttered, hauling himself to his feet.

I let out a dejected sigh as I placed it back on the shelf.

I allowed my fingers to trail over the top of the lid before I closed the cupboard door and smiled at Pierre.

"Let's go then," He announced, slinging his arm around my shoulder.

It took us ten minutes to get back to Pierre's house and I went straight to the kitchen to switch on the kettle.

"I think I know what you do when you get upset or something," Pierre stated as he took off his suit jacket and placed it on the back of a chair.

"What?" I asked, getting two cups from the cupboard.

"You're a nervous tea drinker," He smirked.

Subconsciously, I let go of the kettle.

I turned around, "And you're what the Spanish call a completo ciruelo,"

He raised his eyebrow, "What?"

"A complete plum," I grinned.

He rolled his eyes, "Thanks," He replied, adding a small chuckle as he undid his shoelaces.

I shot him an innocent smile, "So you don't want a cup of tea then?"

"No," He shook his head, "Thanks,"

I re-boiled the kettle and headed out of the room to get changed into something more comfortable.

After getting into my room and taking off my shoes, I pulled open the wardrobe to find something comfy to wear.

But as I scanned my clothes, my eyes landed on the dress that I was intending to wear for the wedding.

I pulled the dress from the rack and eyed it carefully, running my fingers over the material.

Thoughts began to fill my mind.

I reminisced back either years ago to when Sebastien and I first met.

I thought about the amount of times I hurt him in some way or another and yet when I told him to go and get married I'd never seen pain like that in his eyes before.

I thought back to our last night together, when he got us lost in Greece at around nine pm.

The night of our first kiss.

The night he asked me if we'd ever see each other again and I told him I didn't know.

And I hope with all my heart that we would but I also hoped that it wouldn't be under these circumstances.

I sighed and sat down on the bed, still gazing at the dress.

When I was seventeen I knew for sure that I didn't want to lose him.

And now, at twenty-five, I knew that I'd lost my chance with him but I also knew that I didn't have to lose the change of a very strong friendship.

I didn't have to lose him completely and I wasn't going to.

So I got up from the bed and opened the door.

"Pierre!" I called, "Get your shoes on and get ready,"

"Huh? Ready for what?" He shouted back.

"We're going to the wedding,"

It took Pierre all of fifteen seconds to get himself up the stairs and by then I'd already stripped down and stepped into my dress. Yeah, I'm that quick.

As he burst through the door, I slid the straps on my shoulders and zipped the back up as far as I could reach.

"Oh, so you were actually serious?" His eyebrow was raised in a quizzical fashion when I turned to face him.

"Yeah, get ready," I repeated, grabbed my shoes from by the wardrobe.

"Do you care to give an explanation or am I just supposed to do what you say?"

"The second one," I grinned, "I'll explain when we're on the way,"

"You do realise that we're going to be really late,"

"Well we can just sit in the back and walk in quietly, hopefully no-one will notice,"

"That's not going to happen but I'll go with it. I'm ready when you are,"

"Give me two minutes and I'll be downstairs," I smiled.

He nodded and headed out of the room.

But as he stepped into the hallway he paused and looked over his shoulder.

"Rach?" He began.

"Yeah?" I answered, standing up to get comfortable in my shoes.

"You're not going to the wedding so you can stop it are you?"

I laughed, "No,"

He sighed, seemingly relieved, "Good,"

I wouldn't have the guts... I thought as I watched him leave.

I speed-walked into the bathroom and grabbed my make-up bag from the counter.

Quickly, I applied my usual stuff and pulled the clamp from my hair, allowing it to fall into my shoulders.

Miraculously, it looked alright and after running a brush through it, I was ready.

I grabbed my bag and got myself downstairs where Pierre was waiting.

"Could you finish off my zip?" I asked.

"As long as we can walk and zip," He nodded, grabbing the keys from his pocket.

We eventually got ourselves to the car, struggling to actually walk, zip and lock the door at the same time.

"How long will it take to get there?" I questioned as Pierre pulled out onto the road.

"I'm not sure, but it's not far," He reassured, "Text one of the guys and ask what's going on,"

I pulled out my phone and text David, receiving a reply a minute or two later.

'From: David

Beth's running late. The car went the wrong way and got stopped by the accident that held up Seb's car.'

'To: David

Do you know how long she's going to be?'

'From: David

She's almost here. About five minutes I think. Why?'

'To: David

Just trying to figure out if we'll beat her there or if we're going to walk in late.'

There wasn't a reply after that and we pulled up outside the church around three minutes later.

"Are you ready for this?" Pierre asked as he turned off the engine, "I mean, are you sure you want to watch this?"

I cast a glance up to the church and then back to Pierre.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I nodded, noticing a wedding car pull into the church, "Here's Beth, we better get in there,"

I sent him a small smile when he gave me a knowing look.

"I'm fine," I chuckled slightly, "Trust me," I spoke as I unbuckled my seat belt and got out of the car.

"Rach," Pierre called.

I ducked my head back into the car, raising my eyebrows expectantly, "Yeah?"

"You look beautiful," He flashed me a slightly embarrassed smile.

I blushed and couldn't stop a grin from spreading, "Thank you, so do you,"

He laughed and got out of the car, following behind me as I walked towards the church.

I watched Beth begin to have a heated discussion with the driver who looked like he was about to punch something.

Beth's bridesmaids ushered her away and gave the driver a harsh word or two before he got in the car and parked somewhere else.

Beth caught a glance at me and she smiled sweetly. I returned the gesture and felt Pierre slide his hand into mine.

He pulled me into the church as Beth prepared herself outside.

We wandered inside together and Sebastien's brother turned to see who was coming in.

He looked rather impatient but he nudged Seb and that caused him to look over.

His eyes widened slightly as he saw me.

I smiled and waved at him. He seemed slightly shocked but he waved back.

Pierre and I took a seat on the end of a back pew.

He put his arm around my shoulder and I leaned into him slightly as I heard the wedding march begin.

The room stood up and everyone got into their positions.

And as Beth stepped into the church, I heard many gasps from those in the pews and I felt Pierre's hand rest on my waist.

Beth was grinning and beaming at everyone who was gathered and I looked over at Sebastien to find that he wasn't looking at the beautiful bride that was on her way to meet him at the altar... He was looking at me.

I smiled at him and turned back to face Beth.

Eventually, she reached the altar and everyone took their seats.

Pierre's arm wrapped around my shoulders again and I shuffled a little closer to him again.

"Before we begin, does anybody here know just cause why these two people should not be joined in holy matrimony?" The vicar asked.

Beth and Sebastien both looked into the room full of onlookers, none of which said a word.

I slid my hand back into Pierre's and he kissed my temple.

"Then we can begin," The vicar started, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..."

He continued on as I stared at the couple at the front.

I was actually sitting here watching him get married.

And right now, I couldn't remember the reason why.

I knew that I still wanted Sebastien in my life and I knew that I loved him more than anything in the world but that still didn't explain why I was sitting here, watching this.

My heart was pounding severely.

"Is your heart beating as fast as mine right now?"

"Even faster,"

I sighed, my eyes slowly beginning to fill up with tears.

"Do you, Bethany Adams, take Sebastien to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part?"

My stomach turned, "I can't do this," I whispered to Pierre.

"I do," Beth's voice echoed around the room.

"What?" Pierre frowned.

"I thought I could watch him do it but I can't, I'm sorry, I have to go," I mumbled, quietly getting up from my seat and heading towards the door.

"And do you, Sebastien Lefebvre, take Bethany to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part?" The vicar repeated as I reached a metre and a half's distance from the door.

There was a hesitation and so I cast a glance over to the altar.

Sebastien took a deep breath and gulped making me take a few more steps towards the door.

And as my foot crossed the threshold, there was an answer.

"I'm sorry,"

My head shot back to the couple.

Oh shit.

Seb dropped Beth's hand.

"I don't,"

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Maybe I didn't know how to show it
Maybe I didn't know what to say
This time I won't disguise
And we can build our lives
And we can be as one

Blue- If You Come Back