Status: I know that im bad at summeries but please give this story a shot! It may seem a little confusing in the begining but if anyone has any questions whatsoever feel free to ask away! Enjoy the story!
A Song of Change
Chapter 32 What If
Chapter 32
What If:
Julian kicked the door shut behind him before walking over to the bed. He placed me gingerly on the bed, smiling at me with that goofy grin of his. My heart was beating fast as I waited for him to do something but instead of calming it raced even more when he moved.
Julian crawled up the end of the bed, hovering above me on his hands and knees. We weren't even touching and yet his closeness was almost overwhelming. I couldn't move let alone think straight with him like this. My throat felt as if I hadn't drunk anything in days when I tried to speak. "Julian?" I whispered, glad that my voice was clear enough to understand.
I stared up at him with wide eyes. His chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace and his cheeks were colored a light pink. His grey eyes seemed darker than normal and his soft, full lips were slightly agape as if he were about to say something.
"Do you want to do this?" Julian whispered, not moving a muscle as he stared down at my eyes. Realisation hit me after those six little words. I had known that this was now a possibility between us but hadn't given too much thought to when it would occur.
I loved Julian and I know that I would love to start a family with him as well but was I really ready for all of this? Looking at him now, I can clearly see that he is ready for this step but at the same time he would understand if I wasn't. Julian was giving me the choice to take such a big step as husband and wife and it scared me deeply.
Sure lots of couples do this the first night they were officially married but what if I messed up. Would Julian's feelings lessen for me if I disappointed him, surely he wouldn't, but there was still the possibility. "What if I'm not good enough for you," I asked the question that was holding me back, all while avoiding his eyes.
"No, Annabell, you could never do that," he said outraged at my statement, "you are absolutely amazing and there is nothing that could ever change that. Annabell please. Please just look at me," he said bringing a soft had to my cheek. Slowly I turned my face back to him to see his grey eyes so full of love and adoration and I knew how wrong I'd been.
"Annabell it would be impossible for you to ever disappoint me, so please get rid of those god awful thoughts. I'd never force you to do anything you don't want to do but I don't want you saying no all because you got the completely false idea that you could ever not be good enough for me," his cheeks were bright and his eyes never faltered from mine, "Annabell you couldn't have been more wrong. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me," he finished before placing a soft kiss on my forehead.
"Okay," I said now that I had more confidence about this. The situation still scared me but I know that I would be able to get through it with Julian just like we have made it through every other obstacle together.
What If:
Julian kicked the door shut behind him before walking over to the bed. He placed me gingerly on the bed, smiling at me with that goofy grin of his. My heart was beating fast as I waited for him to do something but instead of calming it raced even more when he moved.
Julian crawled up the end of the bed, hovering above me on his hands and knees. We weren't even touching and yet his closeness was almost overwhelming. I couldn't move let alone think straight with him like this. My throat felt as if I hadn't drunk anything in days when I tried to speak. "Julian?" I whispered, glad that my voice was clear enough to understand.
I stared up at him with wide eyes. His chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace and his cheeks were colored a light pink. His grey eyes seemed darker than normal and his soft, full lips were slightly agape as if he were about to say something.
"Do you want to do this?" Julian whispered, not moving a muscle as he stared down at my eyes. Realisation hit me after those six little words. I had known that this was now a possibility between us but hadn't given too much thought to when it would occur.
I loved Julian and I know that I would love to start a family with him as well but was I really ready for all of this? Looking at him now, I can clearly see that he is ready for this step but at the same time he would understand if I wasn't. Julian was giving me the choice to take such a big step as husband and wife and it scared me deeply.
Sure lots of couples do this the first night they were officially married but what if I messed up. Would Julian's feelings lessen for me if I disappointed him, surely he wouldn't, but there was still the possibility. "What if I'm not good enough for you," I asked the question that was holding me back, all while avoiding his eyes.
"No, Annabell, you could never do that," he said outraged at my statement, "you are absolutely amazing and there is nothing that could ever change that. Annabell please. Please just look at me," he said bringing a soft had to my cheek. Slowly I turned my face back to him to see his grey eyes so full of love and adoration and I knew how wrong I'd been.
"Annabell it would be impossible for you to ever disappoint me, so please get rid of those god awful thoughts. I'd never force you to do anything you don't want to do but I don't want you saying no all because you got the completely false idea that you could ever not be good enough for me," his cheeks were bright and his eyes never faltered from mine, "Annabell you couldn't have been more wrong. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me," he finished before placing a soft kiss on my forehead.
"Okay," I said now that I had more confidence about this. The situation still scared me but I know that I would be able to get through it with Julian just like we have made it through every other obstacle together.