A Song of Change

Chapter 50
Tales and Dreams:
"Annabell," a voice whispered, followed by a light shaking of my shoulders. I squinted through my sleepy eyes, trying to see who was waking me up, but it was too dark to tell. Slowly I sat up, rubbing at my eyes as I did so. "What?" I asked before hands clamped down over my mouth. I squirmed against the hold of the person until they spoke, "Annabell, you have to stay quiet," Julian whispered into my ear, "We're almost out, so bear with me will you?" I nodded my head and after a few seconds Julian lifted his hands from my mouth. I scooted back from where I sat so that I could see him, and even then my eyes wouldn't allow it, it was much too dark where we were.
I squinted through the darkness, trying to make out shapes, but nothing looked familiar. "Where are we?" I asked after leaning in close to Julian. "At the moment, we are in a crate," Julian whispered a reply, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and drew me close, I realised then just how cold I was. I was still wearing my pajamas, a pair of knit shorts and a quarter sleeve top, and the wood of the box did little to trap in any heat. "Why are we in a crate?" I asked as I leaned into him, he was always warm, like a walking, talking heater. If I wasn't so scared right now, our situation would be almost comical. "Its the only way to hide us. The crate we're in is on a train that crosses the border. There will be people outside the border to get us out undetected," when I said nothing Julian rubbed my arm and placed a kiss on my forehead, "Everything is going to be alright, we always end up together in the end, don't we?" Julian whispered with a nudge against my shoulder.
I nodded my head before resting it on his shoulder, "You should get some sleep, I'll wake you up when we get close," Julian whispered as he brushed my hair back from my face. I snuggled in closer, closing my eyes. I could feel the rocking of the train now that I focused, it was like the train itself was trying to put me to sleep. "Julian?" I whispered against the pulls of sleep. "Hmm," he hummed, still brushing through my hair. "After we get settled into our new home, will you teach me to sing?" It hadn't been long since I found out about my pregnancy, but I knew that I'd like to sing my child to sleep just as Julian had done for me when I was so close to breaking. It had been a calming feeling, like I was weightless. All I wanted was to be able to do the same.
"Sure, Annabell. If you'd like I could tell you a story? Would that help you sleep?" He asked gently. I nodded my head, crawling into his lap and leaning my back against his chest to hear him better, we still had to whisper. "Hmm," Julian hummed to himself for a moment as he thought, "My mother used to read to me every night before bed. This was definitely one of my favorites." Julian shifted a little to get comfortable, before pulling me close to him, "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort..."

~a couple hours later~

"Annabell," Julian said, drawing me out of my sleep once again, only this time when I opened my eyes the sun was blaring. I looked around and saw that the earth was moving around me and became aware that Julian was carrying me. "You are a heavy sleeper when you're really tired, aren't you," Julian laughed as he carried me in his arms. My cheeks grew hot as I remembered what had happened the last time he had carried me this way. I shook my head, needing to bring myself back in the moment, "Where are we right now?" I asked looking around once more. There were no forms of life nearby except the two of us. It was just a long and wide expanse of bright green grasses and all forms of wild flowers, most of which I'd never seen.
"We're outside of that place now. We did it!" Julian yelled at the top of his lungs as he held me tightly and spun me in a circle, laughing wildly. "Really!?" I asked, holding onto him tightly. Julian put me back on the ground, a wide smile on his face. He nodded his head excitedly as he placed kiss after kiss upon my face. I jumped up, wrapping my arms around his neck as we laughed. "I can't believe it… this is just… ahh!" Julian continued to yell as he held me close. He fell to his knees in that moment, pulling me with him, "All those years, and I finally made it," I could feel wet droplets hitting my shoulder and pulled back to see tears falling down his face.
He had a bright and happy look on his face, and yet he continued to cry. "Julian," I whispered as I whipped his tears away, "What's the matter? I thought you would be happy?" Julian held onto my hand that cupped his face and closed his eyes as he took in a breath. "I am happy, really I am its just… I wish that Andy could be here with us. I wish he could see you, you'd just love him, I mean how could someone not. Andrew is… was amazing," Julian opened his eyes, his grey eyes conveying things I didn't even understand, "I just wish things could have been different."
I felt a pang in my heart at that last sentence. He had gone through so much as a child, seen so many things that I couldn't even begin to understand, and yet he had been able to pick himself back up. I couldn't help but feel selfish with him. If all the bad hadn't happened, we never would have met. I know its cruel to be grateful of the hardships that he went through, but I can't help it because they brought him to me.
"I'm sorry to say this, but I wouldn't change a single thing in your past. Everything that happened to you and your brother was terrible and I wouldn't wish it for anyone, but if it hadn't happened… I wouldn't have you now. I wish there could have been some other way, but I'm too selfish to truly want anything to change. I hope you can forgive me, but…" Julian stopped me there with a kiss. When he pulled back his face was dry from tears and he had an understanding look on his face. "I'm sorry," he said as he rested his forehead on mine. "I'm sorry too," I replied.
After a few seconds, Julian pulled back and offered me his hand after standing, "Come on, I have something to show you." I gladly accepted his outstretched hand and we walked hand in hand through the empty field. After a while I spotted something up ahead that soon started to take the form of a house. "Where are we going exactly?" I asked as I kept my eyes on the house. This all felt oddly familiar. "Do you remember how I told you that my family lived just on the outside of the divider?" Julian asked as he glanced down at me. I nodded my head, as I waited for his explanation. "Well that," Julian said as he pointed to the house that was now only a few feet ahead of us, "is where I used to live. Its where we are going to live now."
I glanced up at the house, realising now why it was so familiar. This house was almost exactly like the one in my dream, even the field matched the one in my dream. I felt a wave of cold wash over me as I realised that I had been dreaming of Julian's old house for weeks now.