Miserably Loving You.

This whole dating thing in secrecy was strange, the whole dating a boy two years younger than me was odd, and the whole dating my sister’s best friend was just the cherry on the fucking weird cake… But I loved it. I devoured the attention Gage was so willing to give me when we had a second alone, and I cherished the small knowing looks we would give each other when we were blessed with a small time frame to actually look at each other for longer than just a few moments.

I felt horrible at the same time though, I couldn’t tell anyone about us… Not like there was anyone I could tell, but that also meant Gage- who actually had friends- couldn’t tell anyone either; and it was all because we were afraid of my barely thicker than a stick sister. If she didn’t take us being together well… Then we were through. Both Gage and I knew that she would make our lives unbearable if she didn’t agree with us, so until we found a proper way to tell her… We were stuck like this. Which any normal person would hardly dating. I mean we didn’t leave the house, he snuck in and out of my room, and hand holding hardly ever happened... So I couldn’t help but feel like shit for that since from the extent of my knowledge, I was Gage’s first boyfriend. This should be special for him, not some dirty secret. I didn’t have any thoughts of a future for us, not that I was opposed to them, but it was way too early to even think about that sort of thing. Especially since we were about to be in two completely different areas in life… But I didn’t want to think about that now. We needed to make it through Violet first before we even began talking about that.

I smiled at Gage briefly from across the cafeteria as he and Violet slowly approached. I knew he caught it by the way his cheeks flushed, but he quickly recovered as Violet groaned and checked her pockets. This was clearly a sign that she had just realized that she left her money on the counter this morning, but luckily she has an amazing older brother like me who snagged it for her.

“Dammit, I can’t believe I forgot again.” She groaned again once they approached the table. “Looks like I’ll be mooching off of you guys again today.”

“Or, and this is just me spit balling here, maybe you could starve today so that the pain of hunger could remind you to grab your money in the morning?” I laughed before pulling the couple of bucks from my pocket and tossing it to her. “Or maybe you were just graced with this amazing brother who will remember to check for you. I mean either or.”

Violets face lit up before she scrambled over to me and hugged me. “Thank you! I was afraid I was going to die today. Let’s go get in line now! I can feel my stomach eating itself!”

Gage and I rolled her eyes at her normal melodramatic self, but followed her anyways. Once we were in line I propped myself against the handrail that separated each line and smiled at the two kids in front of me. My sister was completely oblivious to the fact that Gage wasn’t paying attention to her but instead was blushing profusely… Probably because I was openly gazing at him, but I mean who knows. He could be blushing for other reasons.
When we finally made it through the line I made sure to keep both Gage and I a few paces behind her so that I could quickly hold his hands in attempts to let him know that he was all I had been thinking about today. It was a short lived hand hold, but it was just enough for me for now.

“So Gage, what do you want to do this weekend? I was thinking maybe we could check out that new movie or something.” Violet said, completely leaving me out; which wasn’t unusual for her, but was kind of always poorly planned on her part. She knew Mom usually left during the weekend at least for one of the days to spend time with her boyfriend, so she only had me to drive her around… And leaving me out usually didn’t put me in the mood to waste gas on her, which she knew, but this time I wouldn’t mind seeing as a dark theater would be a pretty safe place to hold Gage’s hand or have at least some physical contact with him… I just had to play like I minded to keep up appearances though.

“Yeah uh… I was thinking we could stay in this weekend?” Gage said, almost wearily as he glanced over at me.

“What do you mean stay in this weekend? We stay in every weekend!”

“Uh, not last weekend… We went to the party or did your alcohol induced daze make you forget?” He said, trying to hold back a giggle.

“That was hardly even a party! I want to do something fun! I want to get out of our houses!”

“Fine!” Gage laughed. “You’re not going to drop it, so fine; we can go see a movie!”

I couldn’t help but laugh as well, I knew he was trying to spare my feelings, but he didn’t know my sister as well as I did.

“I was thinking that maybe Leighton would drive us too?” She suggested, and I feigned a groan. “You could just walk around the mall or watch a different movie; you don’t have to stay with us.”

“Yeah, I’d rather not.” I chuckled before gently nudging Gage’s foot under the table with my own. “But, I’ll go with you two, but we’re buying snacks ahead of time. I’m not going to be stuck with another sixty dollar snack bill.” I laughed.

“Ugh, it’s not even like it’s your money!” Violet groaned. “So you load the dishwasher and mow the lawn-“

“And clean the house, and plow the snow, and do the laundry, and vacuum, and the list goes on.” I laughed as I interrupted her. “I do all of your chores, my chores, and moms errands. That’s why I get paid. It’s not a real job, but it’s my job.”

“So see, you said it yourself! You do my chores so half of that is my money!” She laughed, clearly finding herself more amusing than Gage and I did. “Oh come on Leighton! You don’t need the money! It’s not like you need to take anyone out or anything! Spend it on me!”

I could feel Gage and I both tense up when she said that but I just decided to ignore her. There was no use fighting with her, I’d end up buying snacks even if we brought food with us, and I really didn’t mind, but again, I had to put on a show.

After lunch one of Violets other friends called her over and she looked back at us wearily before sighing. “Leighton, I uh, I got to talk to her…” She glanced at Gage who looked half mortified and half like he was trying his hardest to send her some sort of mind warning… Or maybe he was just about to combust, it was hard to tell. “Could you walk Gage to class?”

“Uh… Yeah? I suppose so.” I chuckled. “Are you afraid he’ll get lost without you?”

“Yeah, uh, something like that. I’ll catch you guys later, sorry Gage!” She hugged him quickly before running of with the girl who I just noticed looked pretty distressed. I cared for a second, but then I realized that this was one of those rare times I’d get with my boyfriend so any previous care about that nameless girl was quickly wiped away.

“So, what was that about?” I asked as I led Gage towards his class.

“Uh, nothing. She’s just being stupid.”

“Mmm, you know, lying isn’t a great way to start off a relationship.” I chuckled, somewhat kidding. I mean if he had his secrets, then I had to respect that. Something’s I didn’t need to know right now, and he shouldn’t feel forced to tell me right away.

“I’m sorry, she uh… I just don’t want you to get mad or hurt. She just knows those guys who pick on me won’t mess with me if someone else is around.” He blurted out. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to lie! I just, I don’t want you fighting them and getting in trouble.”

“Oh shit, Gage…” I sighed, now feeling bad for unintentionally guilting him. “When did they start bothering you again?”

“Last week… Please don’t do anything. I don’t want you getting in trouble or hurt!”

“That won’t happen.” I sighed again and put my arm around his shoulder and pulled him close to me. “Please let me know if they bother you again.” Gage nodded in response and stopped right at his classroom door.

“So… You really don’t mind taking us to the movies?” He asked, finally breaking this somewhat weird silence between us.

“No of course not. Well you no, Violet kind of, but it’s just more time I get to spend with you so it’s the price I’m willing to pay.”

Gage smiled and glanced around the hallway before popping up on his tippy toes to kiss my cheek.

“Well thank you, I’ll uh… See you after school?” I shook my head no and smiled.

“No way, I’ll be here waiting to walk you to your next class. I’ll see you in a little while.” I left then, and smiled at the dumbfounded look on his face.

I told him I wasn’t going to get in trouble or get hurt so this was the best I could do for now that obliged by his wishes.

At the end of the day I met up with him and Violet by my car, I couldn’t make it to their class on time since mine was on the other side of the school, but I felt comfortable enough that Violet would deter any idiots from them. Much to my surprise Gage was standing alone outside of my car with a panicked look on his face, but as soon as he saw me he seemed to relax a little bit.

“Where the hell is Violet?” I asked once I got a bit closer.

“She said that Michelle needed her.” He mumbled.

“It better have been for open heart surgery because that’s the only reason I could see my sister leaving your side like this, especially when she knows about those assholes.”

“It’s okay, really. No one bothered me.” I raised my eyebrow in disbelief, but he didn’t sway his answer one way or another so I let that part go.

“Alright, next time text me and stay in your classroom or something. I don’t want to chance them catching you alone.”

“Leighton-“

“No, I’m serious Gage.” I interrupted. “I’m not letting you get hurt like that again, and since you won’t let me beat them up this is the best I can do.” I glanced around for Violet or anyone else who would care to tell her what they see before planting a kiss on Gage’s forehead. “Let’s go though; I guess our plans have kind of changed for tonight.”

“W-what do you mean?”

“I mean Violets gone; now you and I have the perfect chance for a date night.” I said, keeping my voice as nonchalant as I possibly could, but it was hard when Gage’s eyes lit up like that.

“R-really?!” He looked like he was about to pass out so I opened his car door for him and helped him inside. “W-we don’t have to go anywhere now that Violet isn’t here to make us.”

“Oh we’re still going out tonight.” I chuckled and closed his door before getting in myself. “And we can get all of the snacks at the theater, just to rub it in Violets face when she gets home tomorrow.”

Gage was clearly beyond excited, and I was too, I mean this was our first real date together, and though it wasn’t anything to write home about, it was definitely still something at least. When we got back to our houses Gage insisted on changing so we went our separate ways, which meant that I should probably change too.

None of my clothes screamed first date, in fact all of them were pretty fucking boring, but I decided that Gage didn’t like me because I was flashy and exciting, so I went with something with just a little more color than usual. Okay so maybe I just went with a maroon long sleeved shirt, but at least it wasn’t my usual baseball tee. Before leaving my room I grabbed one of my dressier top coats my mother insisted on buying and sighed happily when it still fit. I grew like forty feet over the summer so there was no telling if anything would ever fit properly.

Gage was walking up to my house right as I was leaving and I couldn’t help but to smile at him, his frame was so small, but the sweater he was wearing looked like it would be able to fit me. Though I would probably never verbally admit it, I loved when Gage would wear those weirdly patterned oversized sweaters. He just looked so… Well snuggly.

“You look warm.” I chuckled and pulled him into a quick hug. “You ready to go?”

“Y-yeah, you look really nice!”

“Thank you,” I chuckled and led him back over to my car. “You look absolutely adorable as well.”

“Thanks!” He looked down at his lap once he got into the car, and I knew he was trying to think of something else to say. I knew he was carefully picking out each and every word he was going to say so I just leaned in and kissed his cheek to prevent him from stressing himself out too much.

“Relax.” I whispered playfully before closing the door. He seemed to listen, well at least a little bit, but it was way more than I expected him too so I was pleased either way.

The ride to the theater was fairly short, and I happily held Gage’s hand the entire way there. He looked a little nervous still, and I wasn’t entirely sure why, but I figured it was safe to say he was nervous about people seeing us.

“Hey, you know I’m not ashamed to have you as my boyfriend… I don’t like keeping you like a dirty secret.” I said once we got into line. “This whole secret thing is because of Violet, not because I don’t want to parade you around.”

Gage looked up at me and nodded. “Uh, I know. I just, I… Okay so I didn’t know really. I uh, wasn’t sure. I mean I figured but-“ He looked as if he were about to blow a gasket so I took his hand and smiled encouragingly. “I just didn’t want to rush if you weren’t ready.”

“Why wouldn’t I be ready?”

“I don’t know, this… I mean, people could see and might tell Violet, and I don’t want her to ruin anything.” He mumbled. “I waited so long…” He stopped mid sentence and looked down. “I uh, never mind. I’m glad you don’t want to hide me away. I don’t want to sneak around either.”

He was definitely withholding something, no one just stops a sentence short like that, but getting him to talk was kind of like pulling teeth so I just let this one slide. He probably needed a moment to breathe so thankfully we were next in line to get our tickets so I didn’t seem like a completely dismissive asshole just incase he did actually want me to pry a little more.

Thankfully we had gotten to the theater early enough to snag some decent seats in the back where no one would bother us, or at least I thought that would have been the case, but before I could even get relaxed the theater completely filled to its capacity and Gage and I had absolutely zero privacy. I wasn’t going to let this stop me from enjoying this somewhat alone time with my boyfriend though, so I moved the armrest out of our way and put my arm around him. I made sure there was enough slack so that he could make himself comfortable, and was pleased when he did that almost immediately; and since my arm was stuck behind him and he was holding the popcorn, he took the initiative to feed me. It probably would have been way easier if I held the snacks, but I liked this; and occasionally when he wasn’t paying attention when he’d hand me up popcorn I’d nip his finger which would make him actually look at me, so of course I’d take that brief opportunity to snag a kiss from him. He started to catch on to the pattern though, so I noticed he “didn’t pay attention” more frequently, which was fine. It just meant more kisses for me.

“This movie is stupid.” He whispered. “We should have actually gone to the one we wanted to see.”

“Yeah…” I chuckled quietly, completely agreeing with him. We had a hard time deciding whether to see this one or some action film, but we decided this would be a better choice since it started earlier and we could rub it in Violets face. “Damn it Violet.”

“I’m sure we could sneak into the other one and catch the rest of it.” I looked down at my boyfriend in shock. Little Gage had a bad boy in him? But before he could read too much into my facial expression I nodded and led the way out quietly.

I let go of Gage’s hand and clung to the walls as if I were in some cheesy stealth scene from some Mission Impossible like movie, I might have even attempted and failed a summersault or two. Gage’s laugh was entirely worth the sore hip I now had; which made sitting in the uncomfortable theater chair that much more miserable, but this theater was significantly less crowded so I guess it all evened itself out.

“This is way better.” Gage whispered again, quickly wrapping himself up in my arms again. “And we only missed about five minutes!”

“Yeah that was really good timing on our parts.” I laughed and was quickly shh’d by the couple in front of us, and I could feel Gage tense under my arm, but I just rubbed his side as comfortingly as I could. I don’t know why he tensed, maybe he thought I was going to say something back, maybe he thought I would have done something else, I don’t know, but I didn’t and I think that actually made him pretty happy.

The movie wasn’t actually that great, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as the first movie had been. I just wasn’t into action movies ending with romance. I loved explosions and fight scenes, the kissing and weird soft core porn scenes were just cringe worthy.

Gage seemed to be pretty impressed with the movie so I didn’t bother mentioning how I really felt, it wasn’t a bad movie so what was the point in being negative about a little thing?

We debated on whether or not to go get dinner, but he wasn’t hungry and I wasn’t particularly in the mood for anything other than junk so we just ended up walking around the mall adjacent to the theater for a bit before meandering our way back to the car.

“Thank you for the movie.” He said. “And thank you for being willing to switch theaters with me… That first movie was horrific.”

“Yeah it was.” I laughed. “So thank you for being a little deviant tonight.” Gage’s cheeks flushed and turned the brightest shade of red yet, and he tried his hardest to hide them with his sleeve covered hands; which just made his little odd rebellious behavior earlier that much stranger. So maybe I wasn’t the only mysterious one.

“Switching theaters isn’t that bad!” He giggled. “Violet makes me do it all the time with her, so I guess I just didn’t think much of it!”

“Of course she’s the bad influence.” I laughed. “Tainting my sweet Gage; I’ll have to have a talk with her!” I said, and I could feel my stomach turning on itself. I had never been this mushy and weird with anyone else before. No one else made me want to baby them or say “cute” stupid things with them. But Gage’s sheer innocence and pure adorable behavior must be taking a toll on me. So before I could think any further into this, I leant over and captured his lips in a quick kiss before he could hide his face again. “So did you want to stay over still? We could watch more movies and eat more junk?”

“Uh, yeah! I’d like that!”

“Good, I was hoping you would.”