Miserably Loving You.

Christmas was a complete success. Finally something went off without a single blunder. I made a mental note to scold my mother for the present she gave Gage, but other than that after she left we just hung out and smothered each other in affection. Once dinner time rolled around we decided to go eat with his family so they could at least see their son for part of the holiday.

New Years Eve was here though and Gage and I were alone again. Both my mom and her boyfriend and his parents were out for the night. They asked if we wanted to come along, but we decided to hang back for obvious reasons. Neither one of us wanted to share a room with our drunk parents, and... Well drunk old people in a hotel room on a holiday just... Well sounded like something Gage and I would get in the way of.

We definitely felt safer at home.

"Leighton!" I heard my mom shout from downstairs which probably meant that Gage was here, so I ran down there and smiled at the boy who was all dressed up for our stay at home Holiday. "Well don't you look like a bum."

"I didn't know we were going out!" I laughed and spun Gage around who was now thoroughly embarrassed.

"We aren't! I'm not dressed up!" He groaned. "I just... Threw something on."

"Sure you did." My mom chuckled before heading towards the kitchen. "I left the number for the hotel on the fridge just in case you can't reach me on my cell for whatever reason. I also bought a bottle of champagne, and it better NOT be here when we get back. You two boys have a good night." She shot Gage a wink before kissing my cheek and leaving. I guess they were all meeting at Gage's house since her boyfriend wasn't here, but whatever.

She left me with a beet red boyfriend, so her plans were the least of my concerns.

"She's too much." He groaned. "I can definitely see where Vi got her overbearing intrusiveness though."

"Yeah you'd be surprised how alike those two are." I laughed and pulled him into my arms. "I'm going to go put some real pants on though... And maybe a cleaner shirt... And maybe I'll just take a shower. Yeah I think that's what I'll do."

"Alright babe, I'll be down here. Hurry!" I nodded and kissed him quickly before running upstairs.

I felt like such a shit boyfriend for not doing this before, but I hadn't slept much for the last two nights without Gage so I just wanted to try to rest as much as I could before he came over but... Well now here we are.

I showered as quickly as I could and made myself smell as nice as possible before getting dressed in reasonably nice clothing. I didn't go as far as a cardigan like Gage had, but I figured a long sleeved shirt was better than my usual shirt and zip up.

Or maybe it was the same thing basically... I don't know. I just thought I looked a little nicer. Especially with my sleeves pushed up and the way the material clung and bunched around my torso; but again, what ever.

When I started heading downstairs, I heard music playing softly and Gage humming so I quieted my steps and crept down the rest of the way. Once I was down there I smiled at my boyfriend who was feverishly hanging up dollar store decorations.

He was shaking his hips slightly along with the beat of whatever song this was as he stood on a chair and hung streamers from the ceiling, and I couldn't help but to smile. He was so innocently cute it hurt.

But before I could get too wrapped up in that, I snuck up behind him and grabbed him by his waist, jerking his body back against me before setting him back up right. He squeaked loudly and nearly fell over after I let him go, but luckily I stayed right behind him so he just kinda ended up leaning against me.

"Shit, Leighton what the hell?!" He gasped as he grasped at his chest. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I tried to hold back my laughter but the sound of his voice right now was just too much for me to handle. He seriously sounded like a spooked old lady.

"Sorry!" I choked out and helped him back up. "I didn't think that would startle you that badly." Gage huffed in response and shook his head. "Oh come on, don't be mad! It was funny!" He crossed his arms and turned around to face me.

"How long were you behind me?" He asked with a small pout gracing his face.

"Long enough to see you shake your cute little butt." I snickered and put my hands back on his hips so I could gently twist him side to side.

"Noooooo! God, Leighton! That's so embarrassing!" He groaned again as he adverted his eyes from me.

"No, that was cute." I said simply as I looked up at him. "Everything you do is cute. Like when you talk in your sleep or when you stare at me when you think I'm not paying attention, it's all ridiculously cute."

"You're not making me feel any better!" He whined as I helped him off the chair. "Anything else I should stop doing?"

"No! Don't stop doing those things, I love all those things." Gage paused briefly and I thought I may have chose the wrong set of words, but he just smiled at me and wrapped his arms around my neck. Well, kind of. He linked his fingers together behind my neck since that's as far as he could reach while I was standing straight up, so I hoisted him up the rest of the way and he wrapped his legs around my waist.

"So I shouldn't mention that you drool on me while we sleep, or that you make cute noises when you're having a good dream?"

"Do I really?" I asked and smiled since I definitely knew what those noises were about. If he could see the dreams I had been having... Well, I think we'd end up discovering a whole new shade of red on his cheeks.

"Mhm! You also pull me back against you when I move too far away at night too."

"That sounds about right." I chuckled and brought Gage into the kitchen. "So what's with the decorations?"

"It's New Year's Eve! I just thought it would make another night at home seem less like just another night at home!"

"Are these nights at home getting boring? We can go out you know!" I said as I set him down in the counter. He gave me a incredulous look before rolling his eyes.

"No, I'm not getting bored! Plus if we went out I'd have to beat up any and all people who looked at you." I chuckled at the thought of Gage hitting any one before going into the fridge and pulling out the champagne. "Hey! Don't laugh, I'm totally serious!"

"Oh, I'm sure you are." I said as I walked back over to Gage and pulled glasses down from the cabinet behind him. "I can just see you punching a 13 year old girl. Priceless." He smacked my chest and started laughing so I smiled. Good, he didn't take offense to that.

"Shut up, I'm totally tough." He flexed his skinny arms as I popped the bottle open. "You're not even looking!"

"Oh, oh so sorry!" I finished pouring the champagne and turned my full attention to him. "Go on, show me what you got."

"Noooo, now it's weird!" He whined and took one of the glasses. I watched as he stared at the glass and swished the liquid around in it.

"We don't have to drink babe." I said softly and his eyes darted up to mine. "We can just pour it out and sleep all day tomorrow with pretend hangovers."

"No, that's not really the problem..."

"Mh, so what is?"

"I just... You're happy right?" I cocked my head to the side confusedly. Was I acting unhappy?

"Yeah... Why?"

"Like, with everything?" He was hinting at something, I mean he was giving me those tv sitcom wide eyes and obvious nod, but I just wasn't picking up what he was putting down.

"Yes Gage, I'm happy with everything." He stared hard at me for a few seconds before sighing and taking a sip from from his glass. "Why?"

"I don't know, I mean... You're not a virgin... I am, and your mom kinda keeps pushing things..." Oh... Oh I'm stupid. This was about sex. Oh...

"Ignore my mom. She just likes seeing you blush." I said as I quickly finished off my glass. "Do you want to have sex?"

"Yes of course! Well, I think so..." His cheeks were bright red so I tilted his chin up and kissed him softly. We both set down our glasses once those soft kisses deepened, I tried to let him take the lead with these but by the way he holding back I could definitely tell that tonight wasn't going to be our night.

Which I was far more than okay with. I wanted him to be completely, one hundred and fifty percent sure that he was ready and that I'm the person he wanted to share this with.

I felt his hand ball up the fabric of my shirt before smoothing it out, so I pulled away and looked down at him.

"What are you thinking about Gage?"

"Why you stopped kissing me mainly." He giggled and tried pulling me back. "Maybe if... Maybe if we weren't in the kitchen I'd be more comfortable?"

"Where would you prefer to be?" He looked around and shrugged before hopping off of the counter and taking my hand.

"I... Just... No more questions!" He chuckled and pulled me upstairs.

Once we were in my room he pulled me over to my bed where we started kissing again, and for a couple of minutes I thought that I may have been wrong earlier. The way he tugged at my lip and pulled me down against him was definitely way more than he had be giving me downstairs, but once I reached for his pants he started shaking. Not a lot, but enough for me to notice.

So I kissed away from his lips after I took off his shirt, I trailed the kisses down his chest and kept going lower. When I got to his waist, his breathing was pretty heavy so I glanced up at him to see if I could keep going. He was looking down at me with the biggest look of bewilderment I had ever seen. I really didn't think he could get any cuter today, but boy was I wrong.

"What's that look for?" I asked as I pressed kisses against his hips.

"I uh..." I ran my hand over his crotch just to see where we were at and he was definitely constricted in these pants so I unzipped them before looking up at him. "Isn't this my job?"

"What?" I chuckled and Gage swallowed what seemed to be a huge lump in his throat. "Baby... I don't think tonight's going to be our night. We've only been dating for a few months, so this pace is more than okay, I just... I don't wanna leave you hanging." He nodded so I took that as a "continue" gesture and kissed his stomach a few more times before shimmying both his pants and his boxer-briefs down just enough for me to be able to do what I wanted to do. I figured the more he was covered, the more comfortable he would be.

This was the most intimate he and I had been yet, and well, it has been a long time since I had done anything like this. I kinda wanted to jump right into a blow job since well, honestly I was pretty fucking nervous too, but I wanted this to be more exciting than just a quick suck off.

So I worked my way back up to his lips and kissed him slowly to calm him down as I stroked him. I used the little bit of pre-cum as a makeshift lube until he started squirming. I didn't know if he needed/ was ready for more than just the half assed hand job while we made out, but instead of embarrassing him by asking I broke away and went back down to his waist. He was breathing heavy again so I started off slow and tested the waters by kissing down his shaft. His dick twitched a bit and he made a little noise of approval so I took it a little further and ran my tongue back up his member.

"Leighton, baby, please..." He grunted and shift his hips closer to me so I smiled down at him before enveloping him in my mouth.

I had to use my hand for what I couldn’t fit comfortably in my mouth since Gage was a little lengthier than I had imagined. I mean, I pictured Gage naked quite a few times during this relationship but I never really could pinpoint what I envisioned this portion of his body being like. But never the less I started bobbing my head slowly and his breath hitched once I began massaging my tongue against his dick. Though it had been a really long time since I had done anything like this, I still kind of knew what I was doing; and him being a moaning mess proved that.

I loved that he didn't feel the need to hide those noises from me. I kind of thought he'd be a bit shyer about that sort of thing, but once it all started going he had his fingers tangled in my hair and was guiding me with how fast or slow I should go. It honestly drove me wild but this was his time now, we'd get to me another day.

He didn't last too long though, and he also didn't warn me before he came, which again was okay, but the gag noise I made from the surprise of it hitting the back of my throat definitely wasn't flattering.

"Shit I'm sorry! Are you okay?!" He asked as I wiped my mouth, and I nodded as I tucked him back into his pants. "I'm so sorry, I... I-"

"Baby, it's fine!" I chuckled and glanced at my alarm clock. It was only nine now so I hoped Gage still had some energy left to stay up for the rest of the night.

"So, do I?" He motioned to my crotch and I shook my head before laying on top of him. "But I figured blow jobs were kinda my job...?"

"Is that what you were talking about earlier?" He nodded and I couldn't help but to smile as I buried my face against his neck. "No baby, that's not your job in our sex life. It's all about what either person likes and are comfortable with. I have yet to meet a person- well guy, who wasn't a fan of them so we can share that job." I pressed my lips against his neck and wrapped my arm around him as he processed everything.

"Oh... Huh, that's way less black and white then I thought. I figured since you were more manly... You know?"

"Mmm I can understand why you'd think that, but we're not a cheesy porno. We'll figure out our own groove."

"I like the sound of that." He chuckled and turned his head so he could kiss me, and I felt kinda bad for not washing out my mouth first, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Hey Gage?" I said once I broke away and he looked at me confusedly but said some sort of response I didn't really hear. I don't know why I stopped or why I said his name when I spoke since that was kind of weird... We were the only two here, but... I just... I had to get this out. "I love you."