Misplaced Words

I laugh as I lift Lizzy above my head for one of the million pictures we have taken today as a group. I can see the nervous smile on her face as I pretend that my arms are shaking. I am glad we hired a professional photographer to capture this moment. I also hoped that he could try and keep us focused on the list I gave him. It's working, well, sort of. We still got some major goof off pictures, somehow even managing to get Ally in a couple of them. Which was harder then you think. We tried to recreate some classic moments too. It was so much, reminding me why I choose to surround myself with this group of people but, it was also very exhausting. So when the families started pushing in for pictures with their kids I was glad to be out of the way. I decide to make my way over to Jack.

“I am proud of you. You have done so much here, really grown as a man and as a musician.” I pat his back when I reach where he is standing. “I am honored to have someone as amazing as you play alongside of me.” We hug and I try not to cry. I mean, it’s not like I won’t be seeing him anymore. I end the hug and give him a big smile. “It’s going to be so weird not having you close by.”

“I know dude, but at least we will still see each other at practice.” Jack hits my arm and laughs.

“Of course and at the many gigs to come,” I look around and spot his mom. “Is she is taking care of little man tonight?”

A plan forming in my mind, we have to make tonight a night to remember since we don’t know when we will all hang like this again. Especially, since Pierce the Veil is leaving the state all together.

“Yes,” he smiles, I know he knows what I am thinking.

When the conversation moves to Lizzy, I feel myself getting sad. I don’t want to talk about the dashed hopes of my family starting soon. I don’t want to put a damper on his day or on mine. I see Jack looking behind me, so I turn around to see what’s going on. I see Tania and Lizzy are running towards us with bright eyes and wide smiles. The mere sight of my fragile flower sends my heart soaring. I love her so much; I am just happy that she is mine. I couldn’t imagine my life if Vic would have won her over instead of me. The thought alone makes my stomach churn.

“What’s up?” I ask, curious about her happiness.

Lizzy and Tania shout in unison, “I’m pregnant!”

“Wait, wait what?” I feel like I can’t breathe. Is this real? “Whose pregnant?”

Jack is already holding Tania and rambling excitedly about how he hopes it’s a girl. My girl grins at me broadly, taking my hands into hers’. I can feel myself crying, and I know that they are happy tears, even though I haven’t fully processed what just happened. I try to think back and see if there were any clues I missed. Sure she was throwing up, in fact, so much so that I was worried that the cancer had returned. I even spoke to her doctor yesterday to see if he could run some test and see if she was okay. This never crossed my mind, not after everything we went through, and especially not after she wept to me about her movie falling through. I thought for sure that the whole family thing would have to wait two, maybe even five, years before I ever heard these words.

“I am pregnant Kells. We are having a baby.”

“I am so happy.” I pull her into my arms and spin her around.

“Babe,” she groans when I put her down, “I don’t need any help getting nauseous.”

"Wait, are you happy? I mean your career."

"I am very happy, filming starts in two years. That's plenty of time to adjust and work things out so that the baby is taken care of. Besides, I will do tons of smaller roles until then. In fact, I have the one that starts filming next week. We'll be fine."

I smile even more, "That makes it better."

Roxy hugs her from behind, “I am so happy for you dolcezza. I can’t wait to meet your little one.”

How could I miss that glow she has?

“You knew?” I look at Roxy.

“I suspected,” she shrugs, “so I got her a pregnancy test. She gave the extra one from the box to Tania because she suspected she was pregnant. As it turns out, they both are. Go figure, I gotta say I am a little jealous that you get to be pregnant at the same time as my best friend, but,” she shrugs while speaking to Tania, “the next one.”

“Well I am happy, because I am going to need you to baby me and you wouldn’t be able to do that while pregnant.” Lizzy laughs and hugs Roxy.

I can feel myself buzzing, I have never felt so alive before. I am finally going to have a little one of my own, a baby that is made from me and Lizzy. My heart swells up; this is the most perfect moment of my life yet. I wrap my arms around Roxy, Lizzy and Tania, soon after Jack joins the group hug.

“Even more reason to celebrate tonight,” Jack says to me, “and to get wild while you can.”

I laugh and pull out of the hug, “I have to tell everyone.”

I run off to tell the guys passing by Vic and Ally on my way.
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I hug Ally after she says her little speech and force myself to call her Ally bear. Naomi would have wanted me to be kind to her. Truth be told, I wanted to tell her to go screw herself, because this is such a typical Ally move, taking the easy way out. It’s so easy to make up now that I am leaving to New York to record and she doesn’t have to see me. I hope I am hiding my anger well because I am sick of this game we play, I am not sure I can ever really be friends with her. In fact, I am not even sure if we were ever really friends. I mean she supposedly loved me that whole time, so our friendship didn’t have any pure motive. She always wanted something more, while also being too afraid to actually pursue it.

Besides, what makes her think I would forgive her that easily? Just because I was ready to put my life on hold for her once, doesn’t mean this will go away that easily. Anyway, what she said earlier this year was true. I did always pick someone else over her and she would pick someone else over me. We don’t work, we never would. Not even as friends because we never talk about anything important. Even when Naomi died we never spoke about it with each other. We just told a story every once in a while, between swigs of beer and drunken nights. I think of the warmth of her hand on the back of my neck and a part of me breaks. I am so tried of being hurt by her and hurting her in return. When the hug breaks, she gives me a big smile.

“See you at Karaoke.” She walks away clearly pleased with herself.

A part of me wants to burst her bubble, the rage towards her building up. The part of me that loved Naomi so dearly, wants to leave her be. That part of me that loved Ally wants to fight for her. The part of me that treasures Lizzy wants me to give her a chance. I will let her be happy, I can play nice tonight and then tomorrow we go our separate ways. She will build her life with Aiden and I will start my career. Writing so many songs about the times I had here, all the good, the bad and the ugly. I can do this, I can make her think we can start again, just one last time. I can't let me think it though, I know the truth, there is no future for Ally and I. I square my shoulders and head over to Lizzy who is glowing.

“I am pregnant Vic.” She runs over and throws her arms around me, “if it’s a boy, I’ll name him Victor.”

I laugh, “I rather you not torture the poor kid.”

I could see it, just for a moment, it being me that Lizzy was having a baby with. Everyone being happy for us. Or even me and Naomi, starting a family. I feel like everyone is getting pregnant and married, I am just here, almost feeling like I am being left behind. I don't even have a potential girlfriend, which is good, because I need to get these girls out of my system first. I can't have this linger crap anymore, only Naomi can linger and that's because she was unfairly taken from me. Mike comes up from behind me, hits my back, jolting me from my thoughts. I guess that dream really put me on edge today.

“Come on let’s head to dinner with our parents before we head off to Karaoke. Mentally prepare for drama bro, the whole gang will be there, so something is bound to happen.”

I laugh and shake my head as we head towards our parents.