Trouble

I woke up to the sound of the shower running and smiled to myself, for the first time in a long time, Nathan and I were in a good place, he had moved in a week ago, and things had been going smoothly.
As I sat up, the shower stopped, and shortly after a shirtless and towel clad Nathan entered the room.
“Well good morning” I breathed.
Nathan chuckled lightly “Showers warm” he said.
“And you’re hot” I announced.
He rolled his eyes and turned, grabbing his clothes, giving me the perfect amount of time to jump up and grab him from behind.
“You should have woken me up, I would have joined you” I commented.
“Mmm, you looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to disturb you” Nathan shrugged.
“Promise me that next time, no matter how peaceful I look, you will wake me” I said.
Nathan chuckled lightly “Promise” He said.
I sighed, letting him go, this allowed him to turn to face me “What are you up to today? Work?” he asked.
“Mmm, this afternoon” I said “But if I get a better offer..” I began.
“I’ve got to get going” Nathan said.
I frowned “Where?” I asked.
“My apartment” Nathan sighed.
“Your apartment?” I frowned.
“I’m signing the papers over today, I’ve got to finalise, then I’ve got a few other things to do” Nathan shrugged.
“Oh”.
“Hence the reason I didn’t wake you, I can’t hang out this morning” Nathan sighed.
“Well, I’m just happy I got to see this” I said, motioning to a still shirtless Nathan.
“Glad I could put on a good show” Nathan said, rolling his eyes.
I sat on the edge of the bed and let out a breath “I’m planning on telling my mum about the baby today” I announced.
Nathan stopped what he was doing and turned around “Right” he said slowly.
“I was actually hoping you’d come with me” I sighed.
“Why don’t you ask Mark to come with you?” Nathan asked, he was frowning.
“Because I don’t want Mark to be there, I wanted you to be” I mumbled.
“Well like I said, I’m busy” Nathan said shortly, turning away.
I frowned “Why are you being rude?” I demanded.
“I’m not” Nathan muttered.
“Nathan” I frowned.
“You want to tell your mother you’re having a child, with a guy who’s not me, and you want me to go with you, I don’t see the point in that” Nathan snapped.
“I…” I attempted.
“It’ll be like the ultrasound all over again, I was sidelined, I felt like I was imposing on your moment with Mark and I don’t know if I can sit at breakfast with your mum whilst you tell her your ‘happy’ news” Nathan continued.
“Ok” I frowned.
Nathan turned away again, grabbing his things before going into the bathroom, when he came back, he was fully dressed.
“I’m going” He said.
“Fine” I breathed.
“I’m sorry” Nathan sighed.
“Are you?” I demanded.
“I’m just frustrated” Nathan breathed “This whole situation is frustrating for me, I feel like I’m not a part of it” he sighed.
My face fell slightly as he said this, it was what I was worried about, that he wouldn’t feel a part of this pregnancy, that he would feel distanced.
“But you are” I mumbled.
“I am now, but what about when the baby is born? What about when you and Mark are taking care of the child you share together?” Nathan demanded.
“I feel like we’ve already had this discussion” I pointed out.
“I know” Nathan breathed “But that thought is always going to be in my mind, I’m always going to have doubts, today, tomorrow, three years from now, so I’m sorry for being snappy, and I’m sorry I don’t want to be there when you tell your mother, I wish that this was something I could support you on, but today, today I just don’t feel all that supportive” Nathan sighed.
“If you feel that way then why did you move in here? Why are we even doing this?” I demanded, frustration getting the better of me “I don’t understand why you think we should even be together if you can’t support me” I added.
“I do support you, some day’s though, I’ll have that sense of doubt and today, today I just, I know what she’ll say, and I don’t want to be there for it” Nathan breathed.
“What do you know she’s going to say?” I demanded.
“She’ll encourage you to make it work with Mark” Nathan sighed.
“She won’t, not with you there” I pointed out.
“Do you even know your own mother?” Nathan demanded.
“Ok, so she’s opinionated…” I began.
“She’ll skin me alive Sim, I haven’t seen her since everything happened” Nathan breathed.
“I get that, but you know you do have to see her again eventually” I said.
“Mmm, but not today” Nathan said.
“But you are ok? I mean, we’re ok? Right?” I mumbled.
Nathan sighed sitting on the bed with me “I love you, I will always love you” he breathed “I’m worried, like I said before, we don’t know what will happen when you have this baby, when you and Mark are looking after the baby….” He began.
“You and I will be looking after this child Nate, Mark will be around, but ultimately, if you want to be, it’ll be you and me in this team” I breathed, cutting him off.
Nathan smiled, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to my forehead “I want to be” he said.