Status: Regular-ish updates
For Better or for Worse
V
The next day for Jack brought him pacing his around his room with his head in his hands as the memories of the night before replayed in his head. He had kissed Alex, not that he had meant to but he supposed that it didn’t really count for anything considering he was more than sober and more than aware of what he was doing when the deed was done. He felt terrible, he had barely been engaged for a day and he had already messed everything up, he groaned to himself and kicked his bed before sitting on it. The problem was that he didn’t even regret it, kissing Alex that is; he liked the feel of the servant’s lips against his own and he liked the way the boy kissed back almost instantly. As he was thinking about it even more, he was starting to realise how much he actually liked his employee. He liked the way he was shy and more than happy to do anything he said, he liked the way his lips curved up into a smile and the way he shifted from foot to foot. He loved Alex’s eyes and how big and round they were and how he could probably use them to get anything they wanted. He soon came to terms with the fact that he was falling for the poor servant boy, and he wasn’t going to do a damn thing about it.
He made his way along the corridor and to the stairs, his hands shaking a little bit. He had the feeling that he was going to run into the boy, and he knew how horribly awkward that was going to be. Of course, his fears were proved to be true when he walked into the drawing room to find Alex laying the fire, much like he was when they first met.
~~
Once Alex had fled Jacks room after their kiss, he felt sick to his stomach, he had just kissed his bosses son. He had just kissed the man whose father employed him, he had just kissed the man who was promised to another, a woman for that matter and Alex certainly wasn’t a woman. He slowly made his way to the servant’s quarter, his hands shaking a little bit, in fact his whole body was shaking with both fear and worry. Once he got back to his room, he sat down on the bed and took a few shaky breaths he didn’t know what to do with himself and he felt sick to his stomach. He was worried for his job, if he had no job then he couldn’t provide for his family, and if he couldn’t provide for his family then his family couldn’t eat, and if they couldn’t eat then they would get sick. He couldn’t even bare to think about what would happen after that. He shook the thought from his head and changed into his pyjamas, hopefully sleeping away his anxieties.
When he woke up the next day, he still felt sick. He got up and did the usual routine of washing, getting dressed and then starting his tasks for the day, his first job being to clean the kitchen ready for breakfast, he then was allowed to eat breakfast before moving onto the drawing room to lay the fire for when the family came in, and that was when he saw Jack, and that was also the time he felt his heart drop into his stomach. He glanced to his employer before taking a deep breath, deciding to be polite and talk to him.
“Good morning, sir” He finished laying the fire and moved on to clean the fireplace and the surrounding area.
“O-oh, good morning Alex” Alex couldn’t help but to bite his lip at the nervousness in the man’s voice.
Alex bit his lip gently and turned to face Jack, once again shaking with fear and worry. “I trust that you slept well last night and that you weren’t too ill this morning or during the night.”
The richer man only nodded and sat in the armchair next to the fire, resting his head in his hands. “Yeah, I’m fine I guess.” He sighed and shook his head and closed his eyes tightly for a few seconds before looking back to Alex, who just so happened to be looking straight at his employer. “Look, Alex. Last night…” He sighed a little bit, clearly unsure of how to continue.
“It’s okay” Alex shook his head and folded the sheet he was kneeling on to lay the fire and put it over his arm. “It’s okay, I understand. It was my fault, you were drunk and I should have pushed you away rather than let you continue and even kiss back.” He sighed and looked to him, he felt the colour drain from his face. “Please don’t dismiss me” He whispered and looked down to the floor, “I know what I did was wrong, but I really can’t afford to lose this job.” He breathed, tears quickly filling in his eyes as his body started to tremble.
“Alex” Jack mumbled and looked to the boy in front of him, his heart melting at the sight of the boy getting so upset, he almost couldn’t bear to see him that way. “I promise you that you’re not going to be dismissed.” He let his eyes wander over the boy before he stood up and walked over to the boy, he reached out with a shaky hand and pulled him into his chest. This was wrong, he knew it was wrong but he couldn’t bear to see the boy cry, not when his feelings were developing as quickly as you like. “I won’t let you lose your job, that kiss was between us okay? Nobody else has to know.” He mumbled and sighed gently.
Alex only froze in Jack’s arms but soon relax and cried against his employers shoulder, he needed to cry and that’s just what he was going to do. After a few minutes of tears, he finally looked up to Jack with a quivering lip. “You’re a very kind person, Master Barakat.” He whispered and held onto his superior’s casual suit jacket. “But I can’t help but to feel terribly guilty for sharing that kiss with you. You’re engaged to a very respectable lady” He bit his lip gently. “You may have kissed me, but I shouldn’t have kissed back and it was selfish of me to do so.” He took a step back from Jack. “You’re very kind for not telling anyone or dismissing me.”
“I don’t think you quite understand, do you?” Was the only reply that Alex heard. “I don’t think you quite understand what has happened.” Alex looked up to Jack, biting his lip unsure of what to say to the man standing in front of him. “I don’t think you understand why I’m keeping you here, I’m selfish and I don’t want you to leave. I don’t think you understand why I’m so stressed over a kiss, I have a fiancée. I don’t think you understand why I kissed you last night. Yes, you might argue that I was drunk but I once heard that a drunken man’s thoughts are a sober man’s feelings.” Jack took a breath. “I don’t think that you really understand that I have growing feelings for you, despite how wrong it is and how so many people may find it disgusting.”
Alex only stood with his mouth hanging open slightly, he couldn’t really believe what was happening, was Jack really admitting his feelings? He bit his lip gently and slowly started to comprehend what was being said before he spoke his next words. “I-I don’t know what to say” He breathed and shifted from foot to foot. “I do have growing feelings for you sir, but it would be very wrong of me to act upon them.”
“What if it is a mutual decision?” Jack suggested quickly, “What if we made a decision to act upon these feelings we have just for a while to see where it goes?” The richer man bit his lip gently. “We could do it all in secret, it would be the perfect romance. Please” He reached his hand out to stroke Alex’s cheek. “Please” He whispered.
Alex stood and deliberated for a few seconds before he finally nodded and looked up to Jack. “I will, but on one condition.” He whispered and took a small step closer to Jack.
“Anything” The richer man replied softly.
“You tell me right here and right now how we are going to do this without getting caught. The consequences of a servant and the person of the upper class being in any sort of casual relationship are horrible, but being in a romantic relationship with somebody of a higher class and of the same gender would bring about consequences which are not worth thinking about.”
Jack nodded and sighed a little bit, “We could meet at nights, maybe you could come up to my room and we could spend time together then, and times like now, the time we are spending together is completely private and just to us.” He bit his lip gently. “And like what we did last night, just go out to bars as friends, but we would know that it’s far more than that.” Jack looked to Alex and watched him for a few seconds, waiting for his reply.
Alex kept his eyes on Jack for a while before he glanced around the room and leaned up to brush his lips against Jacks for a few seconds. “I accept your offer, sir.” He bit his lip with a grin before scurrying out of the room before Jack could say anything.
Jack watched Alex leave the room with a grin, and for the moment he had no worries and no anxieties and no thoughts of his future. For the time being, Jack was happy.
He made his way along the corridor and to the stairs, his hands shaking a little bit. He had the feeling that he was going to run into the boy, and he knew how horribly awkward that was going to be. Of course, his fears were proved to be true when he walked into the drawing room to find Alex laying the fire, much like he was when they first met.
~~
Once Alex had fled Jacks room after their kiss, he felt sick to his stomach, he had just kissed his bosses son. He had just kissed the man whose father employed him, he had just kissed the man who was promised to another, a woman for that matter and Alex certainly wasn’t a woman. He slowly made his way to the servant’s quarter, his hands shaking a little bit, in fact his whole body was shaking with both fear and worry. Once he got back to his room, he sat down on the bed and took a few shaky breaths he didn’t know what to do with himself and he felt sick to his stomach. He was worried for his job, if he had no job then he couldn’t provide for his family, and if he couldn’t provide for his family then his family couldn’t eat, and if they couldn’t eat then they would get sick. He couldn’t even bare to think about what would happen after that. He shook the thought from his head and changed into his pyjamas, hopefully sleeping away his anxieties.
When he woke up the next day, he still felt sick. He got up and did the usual routine of washing, getting dressed and then starting his tasks for the day, his first job being to clean the kitchen ready for breakfast, he then was allowed to eat breakfast before moving onto the drawing room to lay the fire for when the family came in, and that was when he saw Jack, and that was also the time he felt his heart drop into his stomach. He glanced to his employer before taking a deep breath, deciding to be polite and talk to him.
“Good morning, sir” He finished laying the fire and moved on to clean the fireplace and the surrounding area.
“O-oh, good morning Alex” Alex couldn’t help but to bite his lip at the nervousness in the man’s voice.
Alex bit his lip gently and turned to face Jack, once again shaking with fear and worry. “I trust that you slept well last night and that you weren’t too ill this morning or during the night.”
The richer man only nodded and sat in the armchair next to the fire, resting his head in his hands. “Yeah, I’m fine I guess.” He sighed and shook his head and closed his eyes tightly for a few seconds before looking back to Alex, who just so happened to be looking straight at his employer. “Look, Alex. Last night…” He sighed a little bit, clearly unsure of how to continue.
“It’s okay” Alex shook his head and folded the sheet he was kneeling on to lay the fire and put it over his arm. “It’s okay, I understand. It was my fault, you were drunk and I should have pushed you away rather than let you continue and even kiss back.” He sighed and looked to him, he felt the colour drain from his face. “Please don’t dismiss me” He whispered and looked down to the floor, “I know what I did was wrong, but I really can’t afford to lose this job.” He breathed, tears quickly filling in his eyes as his body started to tremble.
“Alex” Jack mumbled and looked to the boy in front of him, his heart melting at the sight of the boy getting so upset, he almost couldn’t bear to see him that way. “I promise you that you’re not going to be dismissed.” He let his eyes wander over the boy before he stood up and walked over to the boy, he reached out with a shaky hand and pulled him into his chest. This was wrong, he knew it was wrong but he couldn’t bear to see the boy cry, not when his feelings were developing as quickly as you like. “I won’t let you lose your job, that kiss was between us okay? Nobody else has to know.” He mumbled and sighed gently.
Alex only froze in Jack’s arms but soon relax and cried against his employers shoulder, he needed to cry and that’s just what he was going to do. After a few minutes of tears, he finally looked up to Jack with a quivering lip. “You’re a very kind person, Master Barakat.” He whispered and held onto his superior’s casual suit jacket. “But I can’t help but to feel terribly guilty for sharing that kiss with you. You’re engaged to a very respectable lady” He bit his lip gently. “You may have kissed me, but I shouldn’t have kissed back and it was selfish of me to do so.” He took a step back from Jack. “You’re very kind for not telling anyone or dismissing me.”
“I don’t think you quite understand, do you?” Was the only reply that Alex heard. “I don’t think you quite understand what has happened.” Alex looked up to Jack, biting his lip unsure of what to say to the man standing in front of him. “I don’t think you understand why I’m keeping you here, I’m selfish and I don’t want you to leave. I don’t think you understand why I’m so stressed over a kiss, I have a fiancée. I don’t think you understand why I kissed you last night. Yes, you might argue that I was drunk but I once heard that a drunken man’s thoughts are a sober man’s feelings.” Jack took a breath. “I don’t think that you really understand that I have growing feelings for you, despite how wrong it is and how so many people may find it disgusting.”
Alex only stood with his mouth hanging open slightly, he couldn’t really believe what was happening, was Jack really admitting his feelings? He bit his lip gently and slowly started to comprehend what was being said before he spoke his next words. “I-I don’t know what to say” He breathed and shifted from foot to foot. “I do have growing feelings for you sir, but it would be very wrong of me to act upon them.”
“What if it is a mutual decision?” Jack suggested quickly, “What if we made a decision to act upon these feelings we have just for a while to see where it goes?” The richer man bit his lip gently. “We could do it all in secret, it would be the perfect romance. Please” He reached his hand out to stroke Alex’s cheek. “Please” He whispered.
Alex stood and deliberated for a few seconds before he finally nodded and looked up to Jack. “I will, but on one condition.” He whispered and took a small step closer to Jack.
“Anything” The richer man replied softly.
“You tell me right here and right now how we are going to do this without getting caught. The consequences of a servant and the person of the upper class being in any sort of casual relationship are horrible, but being in a romantic relationship with somebody of a higher class and of the same gender would bring about consequences which are not worth thinking about.”
Jack nodded and sighed a little bit, “We could meet at nights, maybe you could come up to my room and we could spend time together then, and times like now, the time we are spending together is completely private and just to us.” He bit his lip gently. “And like what we did last night, just go out to bars as friends, but we would know that it’s far more than that.” Jack looked to Alex and watched him for a few seconds, waiting for his reply.
Alex kept his eyes on Jack for a while before he glanced around the room and leaned up to brush his lips against Jacks for a few seconds. “I accept your offer, sir.” He bit his lip with a grin before scurrying out of the room before Jack could say anything.
Jack watched Alex leave the room with a grin, and for the moment he had no worries and no anxieties and no thoughts of his future. For the time being, Jack was happy.
♠ ♠ ♠
So this is kind of all over the place, but I kind of like it and I hope you all like it too. c: