Let the Flames Begin

I meant what I said when I told Hayley I could live the rest of my life without having sex with her. Doesn't mean that I didn't want to have that part of her. Because, trust me. I did. All the time. I wished, more than anything that I could have her like that. Have that special piece of her. In the same breath though, she was still new to this whole, being with another woman thing. Can't say I blame her. It probably freaked her out feeling this way.

"Hayley? Hayley?" I called her name a few more times when I got home. I'd been helping mix a new album for a new band in town all day.

I sat on the couch for a few minutes before I decided to go find her. I checked all the rooms downstairs and even our bedroom. There was only one more room. My...Special room if you will. The room I wrote, sang, and sometimes I even recorded in.

"What the he---Hayley, why are you even in here."

"I got curious about where you disappeared too the other night and found the key in your night stand...this stuff, these lyrics...They're amazing Car."

"Thanks.." I whispered softly

"You're far more talented than I thought. These...Lyrics. These...Just all of this Carrie. Why'd you stop writing? Or singing for that matter?!"

"Do you want the honest answer? Or a bullshit answer to make it seem like it was okay?"

"Honest? I guess?"

"Because, when I left, it was when I fell in love with you and it literally caused a downward spiral, I missed practice, I'd get distracted and forget the lyrics that I wrote or how the beat was supposed to go and we just called it quits. That's when I got really into the recording side of it all and started the business."

"Sing this. Now. I wanna hear you sing it."

"No? I'm not singing Hayley. I haven't actually sung in years."

"I don't care. You sing this for me now or you're going to be playing make up for a year."

I signed grabbing my guitar. I was only used to doing this alone in this room, no one hear to listen or judge. I tuned it to the chords I'd be using for the song that I literally wrote maybe two days ago about Hayley.

"It’s really hard,
I can’t cry in your arms
‘Cause you’re not here
It’s not your fault
And if it was I wouldn’t care.

My heart is bigger
Than the distance
In-between us.
I know it ‘cause I
Feel it beating.

So strong it'll knock you down
So strong, so strong.

Over here,
I can't count the miles away,
From where I wanna be.
I bet your skin is warm
And that you're smiling.

Yeah, that’s what I always
Loved the most about you.
You’re so strong
Come and knock me down, hey.

Baby, if I’m half the man I say I am
if I’m a woman with no fear
Just like I claim I am
Then I believe in what you say
There’s nothing left for you to do
The only proof that I need is you.

I’ll get in my car
Drive it faster than I
Ever did before.
Head out west until I finally
Reach the shore.

And then I’ll swim out
To wherever you are
And we'll ride the undercurrent
Down to the floor.

Making friends with all
The unfamiliar creatures
And pushing back
All the unnecessary pressure.
Come up for air just so you
Know we won’t drown.

You’re so strong
The world can't keep us down, hey!

Baby, if I’m half the man I say I am
if I’m a woman with no fear
Just like I claim I am,
Then I believe in what you say
There’s nothing left for you to do
The only proof that I need is you.

So do you love me?
All you gotta do is say yes.
Now do you love me?
And I won’t ever second guess.

Now do you love me?
All you gotta do is say yes.
Now do you love me?
Then you already proved it.

Yeah, yeah, hey.

Baby, if I’m half the man I say I am
if I’m a woman with no fear
Just like I claim I am,
Then I believe in what you say
There’s nothing left for you to do
The only proof that I need is.

Baby, if I’m half the man I say I am
if I’m a woman with no fear
Just like I claim I am
Then I believe in what you say
There’s nothing left for you to do
The only proof that I need is you."

Hayley was tearing up by the end.

"That song..I love it. It just... My heart is so fluttery right now. I just..." Hayley walked slowly over to me placing my guitar beside me on the floor so she could sit on my lap.

She just looked at my like there was nothing else in the world time. It was the first time, ever that she'd ever looked at me like this.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything." I said softly brushing the hair from her face.

"I'm in love with you. I finally figured out where I'm supposed to be and it's right here, with you." she leaned down kissing me. There was so much fire, love, intensity, and so incredibly full of lust.

"Hayley..." I pulled away looking at her. "Do you realize where kissing me like that was going to lead? Something you don't want to get started with."

"Or maybe, if you're lucky enough we'll both find out."

It was like, a bomb went off inside of me, And I wasn't about to keep my hands to myself. The only thing that'd keep me from continuing is her telling me to stop. And se didn't.