Obsidian Crosses
Festival of Broken Dreams
It happened. It finally happened, I never thought it would. Jesus was now a bona fide emo and damn did he look good. This was one of my greatest accomplishments in my entire life. Jesus wouldn't let me cut or dye his hair, but I teased it so it looked fucked up and fucking edgy as hell. He also had black eyeliner caked around his eyes with a tiny bit of red thrown in for good measure. His outfit consisted of a white Fall Out Boy shirt, gray ripped skinny jeans, several studded wristbands and black converse. As Jesus was marveling himself in the mirror, I fixed up my hair. "Lookin' good, J-Christ." I said happily to him. He looked stunned. "And when you have your scars from your crucifixion, you'll have even more cred in our scene. We like showin' off our battle scars, you see..." I grabbed him and dragged him out on stage with the rest of the band. Billie Joe greeted him with a bear hug and a high-five (which Jesus looked confused by). Blink 182 was just finishing up their setlist with their national hit "All The Small Things" and was dousing the crowd with buckets of water. I love Mark Hoppus. His band's music is sooooo good! Rawr motherfuckers!
Tonight's Green Day was going to be extra special for a variety reasons. Besides having Jesus as an extra vocalist, I was going to be playing bass guitar while providing back-up vocals. I had always been a part of the band, but it was about time I had my chance in the spotlight. My guitar was checkered black and white with a cute skull etched into it that had X-ed out hearts for eyes (Cuz' I'mma heartless bitch XD). Jesus was looking super nervous, but I reassured him that Green Day was the best place for him now and that nothing would go wrong with us by his side. Ugh, I was beginning to get attached to my new emo friend and was almost sorry he had to die at the end of the week. Maybe I could convince Mike to just get crucified instead, I mean he is Jesus' biggest fucking fan. I grabbed the microphone and waltzed out on stage like the bad-ass that I am. The crowd started cheering crazily, and I took a sec to admire the crowd. Most of them had taken advantage of the merchandise booths earlier, so it looked like a rainbow of colored hair. Of course, several of them decided to cross the emo territory into the Juggalo trailer park err...kingdom, which was a damn shame. Peter was a lost cause though. He was now a permanent member of ICP and was last seen wrestling some fat bitch in the mud pit. There's no honor in that. "Are my sexy darklings enjoying the concert?" I asked the crowd. They cheered louder. "We have something heavenly lined up for all of you motherfuckers.... Green Day has a new temporary member. I give you JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!" I shouted and the audience into applause. Jesus blushed deeply for a moment, hesitantly took the microphone and Green Day burst into "Jesus of Suburbia". It was glorious.
As the concert raged on, I began to feel exhilarated just by being on stage with my favorite band. Billie Joe looked...stunning, to say the least, with droplets of eyeliner slowly running down his cheek and his fluffy black hair all spiked up. There was a tingling deep inside my chest as I watched him strum on his guitar wildly. I wondered what it would feel like if he strummed my bones. These thoughts were beginning to happen quite frequently, but it reminded me way too much of Pandora, so I usually just brushed it off. However, no one had ever made me feel quite so alive as Billie Joe and Pandora never did returned my affections. Then, I looked over at Jesus with his wild fluffy emo hair and ripped jeans and felt something similar. This was all so confusing to me... But, I was supposed to be a true blue lesbian through and through, so I brushed all of these petty feelings aside.
It was the ending song when something unexpected happened. Billie Joe wrenched the microphone away from Jesus and didn't smash his guitar, which is what he usually did. Another weird thing too, he was sober. Yes, Billie Joe had not drank a single drop of alcohol the entire day. His eyes were shimmering as they met mine. He cleared his throat. "Alright guys, this last song is something I've been thinking about covering for a while now. I think I'll let this song speak for itself, but this is dedicated to you, Heather Heartless! This song is called "Punks Don't Dance". Then Billie Joe gripped the microphone and began to sing
"First, you were a stranger, then not
Met you at the rock show, set it off
Pulled you on the stage with my band
Way to break the ice
All covered in piercings, pretty eyes
Favourite band is Green Day, I like that
Yeah, we had the best night when we walked away
You were looking back to see
If I was looking back to see
If you were looking back at me
Damn, it was the strangest thing
I knew it right away
You had the same Vans on as me
Take your shot, is it on or not?
Cause I'm feeling what we could be
Take my chance, I know punks don't dance
But I really think you like me
Sweet fever, come closer, game over
Take my chance, I know punks don't dance
But I really think you like me
Saw you at the drive-in, just friends
She looks like a pop-tart, toast that
Yeah, I know we moved on
So I walked away
You were looking back to see
If I was looking back to see
If you were looking back at me
Yeah it was the strangest thing
Do you remember when
You had the same Vans on as me?"
When the song had ended, Billie Joe had tears running down his cheek. The audience was hushed and an eerie silence enveloped everything. Then Billie Joe walked over to me, pulled a tiny box out of his pocket and got down on one knee. "Heather... I love you, you're my Gloria and my Whatsername and my Bonnie and my everything. I know you like girls, but..." His voice broke and trailed off. I didn't care. He called me a fucking "Punk" of all disgusting things! Doesn't he know who the the fuck I am. I'm EMO! Punk is an incorrect label and a fucking insult. But, Billie Joe continued to look at me, as if waiting for me to break the silence. I didn't grant him the satisfcation. "Heather...I can't be without you any longer. Will you marry me?" Billie Joe whimpered. I rolled my eyes and slapped him hard across the face. The entire crowd gasped and started booing me.
"Billie Joe, you obviously don't know who or what I am! So, the answer is and forever will be 'no'." I snarled. Billie Joe burst into tears. The crowd tried to pelt me with empty faygo bottles and rocks. Then, a look of pure unadulterated rage brushed over Billie Joe's face and he glared at Jesus.
"I fucking knew it! That messiah douchebag has the hots for you, doesn't he?!" Billie Joe erupted. "I saw you hugging him in the Jewish temple!" Then he grabbed his guitar and lunged at Jesus. Mike got in front and the full force of Billie Joe's guitar came crashing down on his head. I ran up to Billie Joe and wrenched him away from Mike. Goddammit, if Mike was dead, then his stupid family was going to sue and Green Day would be banned from producing anymore records. I couldn't let that happen. Thankfully, Mike was alive, though his right eye was hanging out of its socket. Reaching down, Billie Joe picked up a can of beer and began to chug it. He muttered something about sobriety not being worth it. His eyes were full of sorrow and self-hatred. If he wasn't murderous, it would have almost been hot. The crowds were getting panicked, I could tell.
So, I told Billie Joe to calm down. To wait one minute, at least, before he he decided to kill anyone. This only infuriated him more. "One minute? One fucking minute?! I AM GREEN DAY! I'm not some dumb Justin Bieber or crack-whore Ke$ha, do you all got that?!" Billie Joe spat. Then he ripped off his shirt, lunged into the crowd and started attacking the audience. Screams and the sounds of blood spilling filled the air. I looked over at Jesus, who looked very pale and distraught.
"Such ingratitude from humanity. Oh, must I save such an ungrateful race?" Jesus murmured to himself. Billie Joe must have heard him because he started yelling that all of this chaos was his fault, and the crowd took the bait. They started to scramble onto the stage, wielding axes and daggers. Shit, I wasn't ready to absorb the powers of Jesus now, and they were going to fucking cut him down. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope threw both me and Jesus over their shoulders and stole us away from the stage. They carried us to their tour bus and put us inside. A group of juggalos was guarding the door at all costs, braced with their trusty hatchets and enormous sizes.
"Protect this nigga' with your lives, fam'. He alone is your muthafuckin' salvation. Are you down wit dat?" Violent J stated solemnly. I gazed at him in wonder. I normally despised juggalos, but this man just saved my life. Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope walked over to Jesus and knelt down in front of him. "Oh great Milenko, we humbly worship you." They chanted. I rolled my eyes and started rooting around their fridge. But nothing looked appetizing. They had faygo, spam, a bag full of White Castle and some twizzlers. Gross! I shook my head and quietly snuck away into one of the other rooms. Green Day was doomed after all, even if I did absorb the powers of Jesus. There was no way Billie Joe was going to recover from his breakdown, not this time. Violent J pulled a set of scrolls, which looked like they were very ancient. It was an ancient manuscript, which ICP claims shows that Jesus (Or the Great Milenko) was going to be bring about the return of the Great Carnival, a place where everyone could be happy and fuck as many fat bitches as they want. It would work for the majority of low-life juggalos since they don't know what real music is, but I like my fat bitches more on the skinny side with a dash of vampircism. Plus, faggio (as I like to call it) sucks.
Jesus entered the room and sat down next to me. "How does it feel to have a bunch of clown-fags worshiping you?" I snapped wittily. "They are among my chosen people." Jesus stated. I looked at him incredulously. He placed his hand on mine. There was a soft smile on his lips.
"Heather...I could be the one true love of your heart, the sweet torture of your soul and the welcome martyrdom of your body..." Jesus whispered softly. Such poetic, dark words. I almost swooned. He must've known I was pathetically weak at this moment, because he wrapped his arms around me and brought his lips to mine. His tongue slipped something inside of my mouth and suddenly my entire world shifted. I felt more vast than the universe. I was soaring higher than an eagle and the room started to turn purple. My skin sang huskily and my eyes spied on Jupiter. Polygons swam in my vision. I looked over at Jesus. He was wearing a hat chock full of hallucinogenics. A smile danced on his lips and he brought a finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet. Together, we swam through the great horizon, higher and higher.
At some point, I fell asleep and lingered on the edge of consciousness. Jesus whispered gently into my ear. "Will you die with me?" My mind was annihilated. Who would've thought that Jesus derived all of his magic powers from magic mushrooms?
"Yes" I whispered. "I will die with you." And then, my mind fell into eternity.
Tonight's Green Day was going to be extra special for a variety reasons. Besides having Jesus as an extra vocalist, I was going to be playing bass guitar while providing back-up vocals. I had always been a part of the band, but it was about time I had my chance in the spotlight. My guitar was checkered black and white with a cute skull etched into it that had X-ed out hearts for eyes (Cuz' I'mma heartless bitch XD). Jesus was looking super nervous, but I reassured him that Green Day was the best place for him now and that nothing would go wrong with us by his side. Ugh, I was beginning to get attached to my new emo friend and was almost sorry he had to die at the end of the week. Maybe I could convince Mike to just get crucified instead, I mean he is Jesus' biggest fucking fan. I grabbed the microphone and waltzed out on stage like the bad-ass that I am. The crowd started cheering crazily, and I took a sec to admire the crowd. Most of them had taken advantage of the merchandise booths earlier, so it looked like a rainbow of colored hair. Of course, several of them decided to cross the emo territory into the Juggalo trailer park err...kingdom, which was a damn shame. Peter was a lost cause though. He was now a permanent member of ICP and was last seen wrestling some fat bitch in the mud pit. There's no honor in that. "Are my sexy darklings enjoying the concert?" I asked the crowd. They cheered louder. "We have something heavenly lined up for all of you motherfuckers.... Green Day has a new temporary member. I give you JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!" I shouted and the audience into applause. Jesus blushed deeply for a moment, hesitantly took the microphone and Green Day burst into "Jesus of Suburbia". It was glorious.
As the concert raged on, I began to feel exhilarated just by being on stage with my favorite band. Billie Joe looked...stunning, to say the least, with droplets of eyeliner slowly running down his cheek and his fluffy black hair all spiked up. There was a tingling deep inside my chest as I watched him strum on his guitar wildly. I wondered what it would feel like if he strummed my bones. These thoughts were beginning to happen quite frequently, but it reminded me way too much of Pandora, so I usually just brushed it off. However, no one had ever made me feel quite so alive as Billie Joe and Pandora never did returned my affections. Then, I looked over at Jesus with his wild fluffy emo hair and ripped jeans and felt something similar. This was all so confusing to me... But, I was supposed to be a true blue lesbian through and through, so I brushed all of these petty feelings aside.
It was the ending song when something unexpected happened. Billie Joe wrenched the microphone away from Jesus and didn't smash his guitar, which is what he usually did. Another weird thing too, he was sober. Yes, Billie Joe had not drank a single drop of alcohol the entire day. His eyes were shimmering as they met mine. He cleared his throat. "Alright guys, this last song is something I've been thinking about covering for a while now. I think I'll let this song speak for itself, but this is dedicated to you, Heather Heartless! This song is called "Punks Don't Dance". Then Billie Joe gripped the microphone and began to sing
"First, you were a stranger, then not
Met you at the rock show, set it off
Pulled you on the stage with my band
Way to break the ice
All covered in piercings, pretty eyes
Favourite band is Green Day, I like that
Yeah, we had the best night when we walked away
You were looking back to see
If I was looking back to see
If you were looking back at me
Damn, it was the strangest thing
I knew it right away
You had the same Vans on as me
Take your shot, is it on or not?
Cause I'm feeling what we could be
Take my chance, I know punks don't dance
But I really think you like me
Sweet fever, come closer, game over
Take my chance, I know punks don't dance
But I really think you like me
Saw you at the drive-in, just friends
She looks like a pop-tart, toast that
Yeah, I know we moved on
So I walked away
You were looking back to see
If I was looking back to see
If you were looking back at me
Yeah it was the strangest thing
Do you remember when
You had the same Vans on as me?"
When the song had ended, Billie Joe had tears running down his cheek. The audience was hushed and an eerie silence enveloped everything. Then Billie Joe walked over to me, pulled a tiny box out of his pocket and got down on one knee. "Heather... I love you, you're my Gloria and my Whatsername and my Bonnie and my everything. I know you like girls, but..." His voice broke and trailed off. I didn't care. He called me a fucking "Punk" of all disgusting things! Doesn't he know who the the fuck I am. I'm EMO! Punk is an incorrect label and a fucking insult. But, Billie Joe continued to look at me, as if waiting for me to break the silence. I didn't grant him the satisfcation. "Heather...I can't be without you any longer. Will you marry me?" Billie Joe whimpered. I rolled my eyes and slapped him hard across the face. The entire crowd gasped and started booing me.
"Billie Joe, you obviously don't know who or what I am! So, the answer is and forever will be 'no'." I snarled. Billie Joe burst into tears. The crowd tried to pelt me with empty faygo bottles and rocks. Then, a look of pure unadulterated rage brushed over Billie Joe's face and he glared at Jesus.
"I fucking knew it! That messiah douchebag has the hots for you, doesn't he?!" Billie Joe erupted. "I saw you hugging him in the Jewish temple!" Then he grabbed his guitar and lunged at Jesus. Mike got in front and the full force of Billie Joe's guitar came crashing down on his head. I ran up to Billie Joe and wrenched him away from Mike. Goddammit, if Mike was dead, then his stupid family was going to sue and Green Day would be banned from producing anymore records. I couldn't let that happen. Thankfully, Mike was alive, though his right eye was hanging out of its socket. Reaching down, Billie Joe picked up a can of beer and began to chug it. He muttered something about sobriety not being worth it. His eyes were full of sorrow and self-hatred. If he wasn't murderous, it would have almost been hot. The crowds were getting panicked, I could tell.
So, I told Billie Joe to calm down. To wait one minute, at least, before he he decided to kill anyone. This only infuriated him more. "One minute? One fucking minute?! I AM GREEN DAY! I'm not some dumb Justin Bieber or crack-whore Ke$ha, do you all got that?!" Billie Joe spat. Then he ripped off his shirt, lunged into the crowd and started attacking the audience. Screams and the sounds of blood spilling filled the air. I looked over at Jesus, who looked very pale and distraught.
"Such ingratitude from humanity. Oh, must I save such an ungrateful race?" Jesus murmured to himself. Billie Joe must have heard him because he started yelling that all of this chaos was his fault, and the crowd took the bait. They started to scramble onto the stage, wielding axes and daggers. Shit, I wasn't ready to absorb the powers of Jesus now, and they were going to fucking cut him down. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope threw both me and Jesus over their shoulders and stole us away from the stage. They carried us to their tour bus and put us inside. A group of juggalos was guarding the door at all costs, braced with their trusty hatchets and enormous sizes.
"Protect this nigga' with your lives, fam'. He alone is your muthafuckin' salvation. Are you down wit dat?" Violent J stated solemnly. I gazed at him in wonder. I normally despised juggalos, but this man just saved my life. Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope walked over to Jesus and knelt down in front of him. "Oh great Milenko, we humbly worship you." They chanted. I rolled my eyes and started rooting around their fridge. But nothing looked appetizing. They had faygo, spam, a bag full of White Castle and some twizzlers. Gross! I shook my head and quietly snuck away into one of the other rooms. Green Day was doomed after all, even if I did absorb the powers of Jesus. There was no way Billie Joe was going to recover from his breakdown, not this time. Violent J pulled a set of scrolls, which looked like they were very ancient. It was an ancient manuscript, which ICP claims shows that Jesus (Or the Great Milenko) was going to be bring about the return of the Great Carnival, a place where everyone could be happy and fuck as many fat bitches as they want. It would work for the majority of low-life juggalos since they don't know what real music is, but I like my fat bitches more on the skinny side with a dash of vampircism. Plus, faggio (as I like to call it) sucks.
Jesus entered the room and sat down next to me. "How does it feel to have a bunch of clown-fags worshiping you?" I snapped wittily. "They are among my chosen people." Jesus stated. I looked at him incredulously. He placed his hand on mine. There was a soft smile on his lips.
"Heather...I could be the one true love of your heart, the sweet torture of your soul and the welcome martyrdom of your body..." Jesus whispered softly. Such poetic, dark words. I almost swooned. He must've known I was pathetically weak at this moment, because he wrapped his arms around me and brought his lips to mine. His tongue slipped something inside of my mouth and suddenly my entire world shifted. I felt more vast than the universe. I was soaring higher than an eagle and the room started to turn purple. My skin sang huskily and my eyes spied on Jupiter. Polygons swam in my vision. I looked over at Jesus. He was wearing a hat chock full of hallucinogenics. A smile danced on his lips and he brought a finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet. Together, we swam through the great horizon, higher and higher.
At some point, I fell asleep and lingered on the edge of consciousness. Jesus whispered gently into my ear. "Will you die with me?" My mind was annihilated. Who would've thought that Jesus derived all of his magic powers from magic mushrooms?
"Yes" I whispered. "I will die with you." And then, my mind fell into eternity.