Dark Waters

Sigrid

..::~^~::..

I was slowly riding Shadowmere towards Blackreach – which was north of Whiterun – when I was intercepted by a courier.

“Sigrid?” He called after me, riding up on a brown horse. We were at the bridge crossing just southeast of Whiterun, and the courier boy looked absolutely famished.

“That is I,” I said, not really having time for any distractions. But I knew I was subconsciously taking my time with getting to Blackreach.

“I thought so, they said I could find you on the steed made of shadows,” he said, looking fearfully towards Shadowmere. I tried to hide my grin as he carefully handed me the letter. It was obvious he was extending his arm as far as it would go so he could stay as far away as possible.

“He doesn’t bite,” I promised, “Unless I tell him to.” He let out a nervous laugh before he finally just handed me the letter.

“I was told to relay to you that it is urgent,” he said. I nodded again and flipped him a gold coin.

“For your troubles,” he caught the coin in his right hand, and then with his fist over his heart – the coin still in it – he bowed on his horse, and then rode off in the direction from which I had traveled. I quickly broke the seal on the letter, and unfolded it.

Sigrid,

You don’t know me, but I am Gerdur of Riverwood, sister to Ralof of the Stormcloaks. I have a friend of yours here, who seems to be asking for you. He is in poor condition, and I think you will be pleased to see him.

I am taking the best care of him that I can, but I feel you should come quick, for I don’t know how long he can hold out. He seems strong, maybe he will get better, after all.

Please come to Riverwood as soon as you can. You can find me at the lumberyard, and I shall take you to him.

Gerdur.

This could very easily be a trap. Somebody who wants the dragons to take over, and knowing I’m the Dragonborn, wants to kill me. Possibly, my days in the Dark Brotherhood could have caught up to me. It could be somebody who wants to kill me for all of my own assassinations. Even if it isn’t a trap, I do have to retrieve the Elder Scroll. I know I don’t have a lot of time….but I can’t help think about Nev. There is no friend that I have that I don’t know their whereabouts. It could also be Niruin. Nobody in the Guild knows where he went – not even Vitrin, and she was the last to have seen him. If this Gerdur woman has sought me out, telling me its urgent, either it is, or she’s leading me to my death. I looked up at the sun, which had just risen. It wasn’t even noon yet. I could go quickly see who it was, and then continue my journey to Blackreach.

I decided it would be best to follow up on this letter. After the bridge, I made Shadowmere take a left, winding up a pathway which eventually led to another bridge, and on the other side was Riverwood. Outside of the gates, I dismounted the horse, and walked into Riverwood. I didn’t want to draw any attention to myself. I walked towards the lumber yard, seeking out Gerdur.

I saw Faendal leaning against a fence. He’d been a good friend of mine, and often times when we met, he would teach me about archery. I was amazing at it, but he, however, was a god. I walked up to him, and he smiled at the recognition of me. His smile faded once he saw how beat up I was.

“Siggy-“ he started, but I didn’t say anything as I pulled him into a hug.

“Faendal, it’s been a while,” I said, pulling away from him.

“That it has. I can’t believe you’re here in the flesh,” his eyes looked me over, and he pulled me into another hug, “You’re not wearing Dark Brotherhood armor, Sigrid,” he whispered in my ear. It almost sounded like relief.

“Faendal, I’ve left them,” I whispered back, “We’ll have to catch up. I’ll tell you everything, but I’m here on official business right now. Do you know where Gerdur is?” I asked, and he pointed to a woman who was yelling at a bunch of men. The sight made me smile, “Thank you, Faen.”

“If you need me for anything, Sig,” he said in seriousness. I nodded at him, and he returned one. I walked over to Gerdur. She didn’t look at me as she greeted me.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“I’m Sigrid,” I told her, and her eyes widened as she looked at me.

“Right, follow me,” she said.

“Hold on, how do I know this is not a trap?” I questioned. She seemed fumbled, as if she didn’t know how to answer.

“I know you are the Dragonborn, Sigrid. Half of Riverwood does, in secret. We’d much rather have you alive, as the dragons keep terrorizing our village. Now, please, follow me,” she begged, and I nodded. I followed her to a house opposite to the village’s trader. She unlocked the house, and led me to a cot in a dark corner. There, I immediately recognized him, even without the cocky grin, and removed my helmet. His black hair had grown out, reaching past his shoulders. It looked like he’d recently shaved, so the hair didn’t cover his face. He was still recognizable. His piercing grey eyes looked defeated, almost empty, but there was a happiness to them in the moment. Most of all, he looked more thin. His hand reached out for mine, and I grabbed it immediately. Tears built up in my eyes. I was caught off guard, and was completely overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to say. A smile came to his face, and I couldn’t help but let one come to mine. The tears were now rolling freely down my face.

“Sigrid,” he breathed, frowning. His hand dropped mine so that he could wipe away my tears with his thumb. I placed my hand over his, and leaned my face into his palm. If only this moment could last forever.

“Nevaris,” It had been the first time I spoke his whole name since his death. This thought led me to confusion. I had watched him die….didn’t I? My head shot up, and I looked at him, my eyebrows furrowed, “I thought you were dead? I saw a head fall in front of me…I was sure it was yours,” my words were frantic, but no less, I couldn’t be happier that he was alive.

“It must not have been mine. It picked me up, however, and threw me against a building. I guess I was unconscious from that point until I woke up here. Gerdur said I had been out for a long time. I couldn’t remember anything until recently. I mean, your face was in my mind, always, but I couldn’t remember your name. As soon as I did, I had Gerdur find you. And here you are,” he said, and I grabbed his hand again.

“I promised to kill all of the dragons to avenge you,” I told him, and then I put my face closer to his, “I’m the Dragonborn. It’s my destiny to kill them, but I’m doing it for you.”

“The Brotherhood is letting you?” he asked.

“I left them,” I said, not wanting to talk more on that subject.

“I know you can do it. Kill all of the dragons…I bet you’re the only one who could,” he teased. He smiled again, and then it fell, “I missed you so much,” he said. More tears welcomed themselves, and fell down my face.

“I missed you, too,” I said honestly.

“Mostly, I love you, so much,” he said, nearly causing my heart to stop.

“Nev, I’ve never stopped loving you,” I said, and Brynjolf’s face made its way into my mind, and my heart fell through my stomach. But it was true, I’d never stopped loving Nevaris. I went on a Dragon killing spree for him. His hand dropped mine once against, and held the underside of my jaw. With his thumb, he traced the edge of my cheek as he propped himself up on his other elbow. He didn’t have to pull me in much until I started leaning in on my own, connecting my lips to his, wanting to be connected to him forever. Brynjolf’s face quickly disappeared, but was replaced with the Elder Scroll. The sooner I defeated Alduin, the sooner Nev and I could be together, peacefully.

Suddenly, that’s what I longed for. Peace. I wanted to live happily. Free of dragons, and assassins. All I needed and wanted was Nevaris.

After a long moment, I pulled away from him, “I must go,” I said as I rested my forehead on his, “But I shall return shortly. I promise. As soon as I found the Elder Scroll, I would come back to Nev before I returned to the Throat of the World.

“Do what you must, Sigrid. Just return to me,” it almost sounded like a plea. Maybe that’s because it was just that – a plea that I safely returned to him.

“No matter what, my heart will always find its way back to you,” I said, untwining our fingers, and kissing him on his forehead, before I put my helmet back on, and left the house. Tears threatened once more as I left Riverwood, and throwing myself onto Shadowmere. I collected myself as I rode north of Whiterun, to Blackreach. It was the only open entrance into the Tower or Mzarth, which was where the Elder Scroll was supposed to be housed.

The whole thing was a Dwemer ruin, the entrance to Blackreach being a small tower, with the face of a Dwemer guardian watching over the door. I held no fear as I entered. That was a lie, I was terrified. What if I couldn’t return to Nev? That was a large possibility. That why I couldn’t promise him that. In his face, it was obvious that I couldn’t.

I spent all day, and almost half of the night leading my way through Blackreach, and going through the Tower of Mzarth in search of the Elder Scroll. I’d almost given up hope when I had finally ran into the room, which held the scroll on the wall. I was finally a step closer to defeating Alduin.

I left the tower of Mzarth in a rush, the Elder Scroll in my body armor somewhere. I would go directly to Riverwood before I would head towards the Throat of the World. I needed to see him again. After all, Gerdur said she didn’t know how much longer he had. Even though I wanted a peaceful life with him after the defeat of the dragons, I couldn’t take the risk of not seeing him again.

As I started passing Whiterun, I smelled burning. Along with that, I heard screams in the distance. It could only have meant one thing. I kicked Shadowmere on the side, and we headed for Riverwood at full speed. I saw the glow of the flames before I saw the village. Everything was on fire. I rode into the village, quickly finding myself at Gerdurs house. There could be no way anybody in here could be alive. I kicked the door open, and flames engulfed everything. Even the corner that Nev had been laying. I started chocking on the smoke and ran out before I could be more affected by the fire. As soon as I was far enough away from the village, tears came to my eyes.

Finally, I let out my sobs. I had lost Nevaris twice. I didn’t even get to say a final goodbye. Shadowmere nuzzled his face against the side of my head, but I paid him no attention. I continued rocking back and forth on the ground. Anything inside me had just died. I had no more to go on for.

If I ever found out who did this, I would slowly skin them alive. I would cause them so much pain, to reflect the pain I felt now.

©Shannon