Paradise City

Insatiable - adjective; Impossible to satisfy.

That wasn't exactly the correct term for my recent behavior. I wasn't insatiable, because I was being satisfied. Oh, I was being satisfied every single night, and most mornings, and sometimes in the middle of the day too. I believe the term Dean meant to say was 'nymphomaniac'. I was indeed affected with excessive sexual desire. And to be completely honest, I was not happy unless I was getting some.

The good part about this 'problem' was that Dean didn't seem to mind. What guy would? There's a beautiful, eager young woman walking around your apartment naked and waking you up with morning head. In what world would a guy not want that? Besides, I was making up for lost time. Everyone my age in Tennessee had lost their virginity by the time they were sixteen. Somehow, I needed to compensate for the near seven years that they has on me.

"You're going to need to put some clothes on." He told me.

Okay, so maybe he had been a little irritable lately. I blamed it on the fact that he was exhausted. How much sleep could the man get when I was keeping him up most nights? I suppose I'd give him a break for today; his friends were in town. I couldn't keep him locked up, and I meant that literally; handcuffs had become my new favorite thing. So had sex on the kitchen counter, that was really fun.

My apartment was finished, but I had barely spent any time there. All of the space that I thought I would want, turns out I must not have wanted it that badly, because I was spending every second with Dean. There were nights where I'd playfully get up to leave, just to see if he'd ask me to stay. When he didn't, I'd start a stupid argument and leave, but I always found my way back to his bed before morning came.

I was sitting on his couch, completely naked, reading the newspaper. I had become significantly comfortable in my own skin, to the point that putting on clothes felt foreign. I also secretly hoped he would take the hint.

"Callie, please? They'll be here any minute."

By 'they', he meant Seth and Roman. Today was the big day. I would finally get to meet the men that Dean cared about more than anyone. I was excited, but more nervous than anything. Usually, I couldn't care less what anyone thought of me, but these two men meant the world to Dean. I wanted to impress them.

"Fine." I said with a sigh.

I threw on the clothes I had on last night and left, slamming his door a little too hard. I kept repeating to myself that he was just tired, that was all it was.

When I put on jeans, I felt too constricted. My legs felt like they couldn't breathe. Shorts were the same way, only it was my pelvic region that still couldn't breathe this time. I settled on a dress that I had picked up at a Goodwill. Most of my shopping was done there, or at Walmart, after Alisha and her cronies had demolished my closet. I barely had anymore $100 blouses. It was mostly back to cotton v-necks and ripped jeans.

As I was fixing my makeup, I could hear Dean greeting his friends. My face flushed; this was it, the time was now. After I finished, I pulled on my shoes and walked back over, knocking a few times on his door. I didn't want to use the key I had. He might not have told them that he gave some girl a key to his apartment. It wasn't a huge deal, he did say the reason he gave it to me was so that I could water his already dead plants when he left for the road again.

"This must be her?" A deep voice said on the other side of the door. He opened it to reveal a monster of a man. Big, and tall, and thick. I felt an inch tall standing next to him. Roman Reigns, the juggernaut. It was scary how much bigger he was in person than on the television. "Well hello, little lady."

"Hi." I peeped.

He extended an arm, offering me to come inside. I slid past him. Dean and Seth were sitting on the couch. I moved to sit on Dean's lap. It was silent for a moment and I chewed on my bottom lip. This is exactly what I was hoping to avoid.

Dean finally cleared his throat. "Uh, guys, this is Callie. Callie, this is Seth and Roman."

I instantly felt like I was the odd man out, which I was. The two med were practically looking at me like I had something on my face, and they were afraid to say it. Obviously, I wasn't what they had pictured when Dean told them about me. If he even told them about me. I couldn't help but think that maybe this was his first time mentioning that he had been seeing someone. Seth shook my hand, but didn't really say anything, which I found interesting seeing as Dean said I would get along with him the most. Roman was at least nice enough to ask me a few questions like where I was from, and if I watched wrestling prior to meeting Dean.

It was awkward to say the least.

"I'll be right back." I said.

I stood up and scurried off to the hallway bathroom, giving them a moment to talk about me while I wasn't there. I was smart enough to know that the men needed a minute, and that that was why the banter in the room went from lively to dead in the few seconds that I arrived.

"I'm starting to understand what you were saying earlier. She is a lot younger than you, dude." That was Seth.

"She's twenty-three, that's not a lot younger. I've been with girls that were eighteen." I cringed at Dean's words.

"Yeah, but she's twenty-three and you were her first. So when you complain about her only wanting sex, maybe you should've thought about it before you got yourself in this situation. I'm not telling you how to live your life, man. I'm just concerned that maybe you bit off a little more than you could chew with this one?"

Wait, Dean was complaining? And what did he mean that Dean 'bit off a little more than he could chew with this one'?

"I'm not complaining, Seth." He replied. "Everything was fine before I fucked her and now she is a completely different person."

Before he 'fucked' me? And here I was thinking that was the most special night of my life. What was I? Some fan that he met after one of his shows? Another eighteen year old girl that he fucked in the back of a rental car?

"And you think she's just using you?" Roman piped up.

I couldn't stand to hear anymore, and pulled the door open, stomping down the hallway. All three men shut up instantly. "Well, I'm going to let you guys catch up. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about." A fake smile was plastered on my face. "Dean, you can come get me whenever you're ready to go? It was so nice to meet you both."

Seth and Roman both awkwardly said their goodbyes. Dean just eyed me. I wasn't incredibly hard to read, he knew something was up. He should have known that I heard their conversation. Couldn't he have waited until I wasn't in the same room, or same apartment, or until he was back on the road with his besties until he started shit-talking our "relationship"? It didn't matter anymore, I left without saying another word.

"Oooh, Dean's in trouble!" I heard the two men say through the door. I rolled my eyes. This was all too childish. I graduated high school five years ago, yet this felt like a page right out of Maryville County High school. A few days ago I felt like I would be able to talk to Dean about anything, and that he would return the favor if he had any problems. Obviously, that wasn't the case. Obviously, he was having problems. One, I was too young for him. Two, he thought that I only wanted sex. And, just for the hell of it, his third problem was that I had changed into a completely different person after he 'fucked' me.

I called James to talk to him about the conversation I had just overheard. He told me that later, when Dean's friends were gone, that I should bring it up in an adult manner. No sarcasm, no name-calling, and he added that there was to not be any sex. No sex for at least a week. Here I was addicted to sex, or more the feeling that someone wanted me. Addicted to the feeling that I could get someone off and give someone as much pleasure as they gave me. I thought about not getting that feeling for a week and shook my head. That wasn't happening.

James asked me if anything had changed while were were having sex. The answer was yes. It was just as passionate as the first time, every time. But it was never the same. Something was always different. We'd go at it in the shower, on the bathroom counter, kitchen counter, in the tub, on the couch, on the floor, against a wall, his bed, my bed, doggy style, missionary, reverse cow girl, handcuffs, roleplaying. You name it, we tried it. That wasn't what he meant though.

He meant if anything changed in Dean while we were having sex.

Maybe I was just trying to spare my own feelings, but I didn't think so. Obviously something had changed if he felt the need to complain to his friends. James suggested that Dean and I might need a break. Not just from sex, but a break from seeing each other. That'd be hard, seeing as we were neighbors, but not sleeping with each other every night, and not being around each other 24/7 might be good for us. Distance does make the heart grow fonder, even if that distance is just a few feet across the hall.

"Just think about what I've said. I know you really like this guy, and I don't want to see it get ruined over a misunderstanding." James told me.

That's really all that it was. I'm sure if Dean and I just talked about it, everything would go right back to normal.

Raw was amazing. It really was a completely different experience when you're sitting in the crowd, than when you're sitting at home on your couch. Wrestling fans were something else. Dean and I sat up in a box, watching the action. Of course, I had no idea what was going on. He explained how a feud worked, and gave me the run down on how all of the current feuds started off. It wasn't hard to tell that he missed being in that ring.

He was almost cleared to go back. In a couple weeks he'd start travelling again, maybe start at a few live shows just to make sure. I wasn't worried, but I was. I didn't want him to forget about me; go back to sending me a postcard once a month. The man never used his cellphone. I had, in the past two weeks, only seen him on it when he picked up a call from Seth or Roman. He didn't own a laptop, probably would look confused if asked what a webcam was, or Skype. It was going to be difficult going weeks to months without seeing his face, or hearing his voice.

After the show, we hit up a bar in town. I met Roman's long-time girlfriend, Amanda, who everyone seemed to love. It struck a jealous chord in me, somewhere. She fit right in. Granted, she had been travelling with them for a few weeks, so she had the proper time to get acquainted with the group. I still felt like the odd man out, and at times, invisible.

"You look bored!" I hadn't even noticed that Amanda had come sit next to me at the bar. I was too focused on how much fun it seemed like Dean was having. I hadn't seen him interact with anyone other than when we were both out with Alisha's group, though he didn't really seem too into them.

"Sorry! I've just got a lot on my mind." I replied as I stirred my watered down drink.

"I've been there, many times. I'm not going to lie and say it gets any easier, because it doesn't." It was like she was reading my mind.

"Yeah, how do you do it? You and Roman have been together for what, four years?"

She nodded. "It's just takes a lot of communication. Roman and I are constantly on the same page. He loves what he does, and he's only going up from here. Dean's the same way. Their obsessed. There's nothing that you can do to change that, so you just have to go with it. He goes on the road, and he's gone for like ever! But when he gets home, it's all about us, and JoJo, of course."

I sighed.

"Well here," She handed me her phone. "Give me your number and we'll keep in touch. I promise I'll keep an eye on him when he comes back on the road."

Amanda was right; Dean and I would just have to get on the same page, because there was no way I could keep him in Vegas.

The car ride back to the apartment was silent. And not the good kind of silent, either. It was a tense, awkward silence, that we both knew was coming. I stopped in front of my apartment door, taking Dean by surprise.

"I think I'm just going to-" I trailed off.

"Are you okay? You've been in a mood all day." He asked.

I exhaled sharply, resisting the urge to smile. "No, I uh- I guess it's because I'm a 'completely different person' now, so I'm sorry if I seem moody."

Dean rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant-"

"Really, Dean? Because if I remember correctly, you said that ever since you fucked me, I turned into someone else. That hurt me. I mean- I thought that was, and I don't want to seem too cliche here, but I thought that was special." I hated using that term. It felt forced and childish. "And then you're ragging on me to your friends because I want to be with you!?"

"But you don't just want to be with me, Callie. All you want to do is fuck, constantly. Is it wrong of me to not want that sometimes? I can get that anywhere, and I have. I'm not the most innocent man in the world, I'm sorry if you got your fuckin' hopes up. You were really different than all those girls, and that's what I liked about you. It wasn't just sex all the fuckin' time. You wanted to actually spend time with me and get to know me, and not just because I'm "famous" or whatever. I mean, you're fuckin' beautiful and great in bed, but for fuck's sake it gets old."

"You couldn't have just said something, then? Maybe tell me that this was how you felt? You didn't think that would be a good idea?" I was really trying my hardest not to cry.

Dean laughed. "And hurt your feelings? You think I want to tell you 'no'? I'm only a man, tuts."

I bit down on the inside of my cheek. "So you just go along with it and make me think that everything is fine until you what? Go back on the road and you're finally free?" He didn't say anything. "Maybe I'm not the one who's a different person now. And you know what? You say that I'm the one who's too young for you, but it seems like you're the immature one. You should probably stick to eighteen year old sluts."

Before he could say anything else, I disappeared behind my door and slammed it shut. I leaned my back against the cool wood, sliding down it until I hit the floor. That definitely wasn't how I planned for that conversation to go. We were both too stubborn to actually listen to what the other had to say, and picked up on the smallest details that didn't mean anything and made them into something.

But I knew one thing, I had nothing to apologize for.

"Callie," he hit the door a few times with his fist. "Come on."

And I'd ignore him until pigs flew if that's what it took for him to realize that.