Nothing Personal

Five months on in their relationship and Jack felt it was time they went to a gig together. His friend Rian had already invited him to see a local band with him at a local bar/music venue and he asked if Alex could tag along. Rian was fine with it and Alex seemed excited about meeting more of Jack's friends. It was all working out, only Alex forgot to mention one small detail: he did not do well in cramped conditions.

Jack picked Alex up at his house and they drove to Rian's to pick him and his girlfriend Cassadee up (she would be driving them all home and Jack and Alex were staying the night at her and Rian's house). At the bar they found a table to sit at while they waited for the band to play. The tables surrounded where the people who wanted to get involved could go and after just one beer Alex was anxious to get into it.

Jack went with him, keeping them near the edge incase either wanted to leave: it wasn't like it was a band they were that interested in. However Alex had other ideas. He let go of Jack's hand and had disappeared into the crowd of guys, and a few girls, who were trying to look tougher than they probably were, before Jack could utter a word to stop him. He shrugged it off and weaved his way back to his friends.

"Where's Alex?" Cassadee asked as Jack returned by himself.

Jack shrugged, "He disappeared into the crowd." He sat down on the chair his hoodie was hanging on the back of.

Rian frowned at the calmness of Jack's tone, "Will he be okay?"

"He's twenty-one years old I think he can look after himself."

"Stop worrying Rian." Cassadee hushed her boyfriend, seeing an argument coming on if she didn't stop it.

***

Alex was having a great time listening to the band play and moving with the rest of the people who had stood to watch. He wished Jack had stayed with him but he didn’t let it distract him from having a good time. He was too lost in the music to notice that the band announced their next song, telling everyone to start a sort of mosh pit, as much of a mosh pit as you could have in a venue as small as it. When someone pushed him towards it he pushed himself away again, making sure to make it clear to the people around him that he didn’t want to be a part of it. However not everyone seemed to pick up on it and he was shoved back in to the crowd. Alex realised, as he was being shoved, that he wasn’t exactly okay with this and he became aware of the fact he was finding it hard to breath and his head was feeling dizzy. He needed to get out. His heart rate picked up as he tried to remain calm, his hands shaking as he grabbed onto the people around him to pull himself out.

Even though he was out he was still shaking and he was trying to make his mouth create words as his mind raced, forgetting the way towards the table his boyfriend was at. Jack, that’s what he needed right now. He couldn’t control his hands properly as they took his phone from his pocket to text Jack, leaning against, what he hoped, was the side of the small stage, the band still playing, the world still going on around him as he felt himself losing control.

Jack received a text from Alex as he took a drink of his beer. The text was panicked and some words that had obviously been autocorrected by his phone but he got the gist of the message: Alex needed him, and he needed him now.

Jack was out of his seat and moving before either Cassadee or Rian had a chance to ask him where he was going. He kept a look out for Alex as he weaved through people, pushing them out of his way when there was too many. Nobody seemed to notice him. When he reached the back end of the bar and there was still no sight of his boyfriend he called him, biting his lip as the phone rang. “Alex?”

"Whe-where are y-you?" Alex’s words were shaken and stuttered, his breathing uneven. Jack’s assumption had been correct.

"Where are you baby I can't see you." Jack tried to keep his voice level and even, Alex didn't need the worry of thinking he was causing his other stress.

"I think- I think I’m by th-the stage. Very back,”

Jack took long strides in the direction Alex told him and found him standing alone, phone at his ear. He was visibly shaking. "What happened baby?" Jack asked as he pulled Alex into a hug.

Alex was still tense and pulled away from the hug, feeling suffocated. He shook his head, letting Jack know he couldn’t verbally tell him just yet. “I-I was pushed in-into the cro-crowd.”

"Hey now," Jack took Alex's hands and held them tightly, ceasing the quaking, "it’s okay. You’re okay now, Alex.”

“I sh-should-”

Jack let go of one of Alex’s hands and pulled him gently away from the stage and towards their table. “Shh, okay baby you can tell me later.”

Alex nodded meekly and tried to keep to Jack’s side as much as possible. Jack sat down at the table and Rian and Cassadee smiled as if they weren’t confused about what had just happened- Rian would text Alex tomorrow. Alex was still shaking though it was mostly in his hands. He tried to get Jack’s attention but he was caught up in his friends. “Jack?” Alex asked quietly, pulling gently on his sleeve.

Jack turned to face Alex and smiled, “Yeah?”

“Can-can we please go?” Alex felt terrible for pulling his boyfriend away from his friends but he needed to get out of the loud environment.

Jack frowned for a moment before he realised why Alex wanted to leave and it felt like a slap in the face. “Shit, yeah of course we can.” He turned to his friends and spoke loud enough for them to hear, “Hey we’re gonna go home, it’s been a long day. We’ll get a taxi.”

"What about your car?" Cassadee asked.

"I'll get it tomorrow." His friends nodded and said their goodbyes, saying how it was nice to meet Alex finally.

“Thank you.” Alex said it apologetically as they waited for a taxi to come along.

“I’m sorry about making you stay, I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay. I’m okay.”

Jack smiled and kissed Alex’s temple as he waved down a taxi, “Good, that’s all that matters.”