Hardest Part of This Is Leaving You
The offer of a lifetime
'I think im losing my mind.' the thought to him self as he put the dress back in its place. 'Now where did I put those pajamas?' So when he found them (yes the ones which resemble a skelaton (sp). 'Ah, found them... ok... I really need to stop talking to myself.' he laughed as he took off his blazer. Then his tie, and shirt followed. After he fully undressed he got on his pj's. Then he climbed into his side of the bed and shut off the light. Within minutes tears were running down his cheek after putting his head on which what was Amy's pillow hoping to smell a hint of what was her smell. But as he figured Elle in an attempt to cheer him up. Had cleaned the house. He had to smile because the thought of such great friends was enough to take his mind of Amy for about a minute. Then he drifted of into an uneasy sleep.
*-Dream-*
"Gerard!!!!!!" He hurd Amy yell.
"Where are you?!" he said in a paniced(sp) voice.
"In he-" then he hurd a familiar voice in replace of hers.
"If you dont shut the fuck up he'll go to." he felt the heat of tears rush to his eyes because he couldent find her and he didnt know what was gonna happen to her. As he found the room he saw her in tears in the arms of the man who almost killed her 3 years ago.
"Let her go." Gerard said trying not to let his feelings show.
"Sorry thats one thing I will not do." As he pulled the gun to her head and pulled the trigger. "Well my work here is now done." he smiled and walked out to leave her there on the floor in a pool of crimson red. Gerard immidetly(sp) ran to his wife.
"Please dont leave me." he begged. "Please." he brushed the hair from her face.
"Never let go." She whispered as she passed.
"No, dont go please. I need you. Please dont.Amy hold on, you need to hold on for the baby and me, and your friends and family." he kissed her lips and sat there holding on to what was there no more.
*-End Dream-*
Chapter 8:
As he made his way to the hospitle someone called his cell.
"Hello?" Gerard said answering it while turning the corner.
"Hey baby." Sammie said from the other line
"Hey," he said in a surpirzed voice, and also not wanting to talk to her.
"Where are you?"
"Ummm... in the car. Why do you ask."
"Well I just wanted to say that I wont be in touch for a few days." She said as another voice whisered to her.
"Ummm...ok. Where yah going?"
"To...to...ummmm... New York."
"And it took you all this time to figure it out?" Gerard said pulling into the hospitle parking lot.
"What I just woke up."
"Okay well I gotta go." he said as he hung up the phone. He signed in and went into Amy's room. Only to find a figure sitting up in the dark.
"Who's there?" She said whispered like.
"Its me. Gerard."
"Oh, hey. I just thought it was Mike." She said then underneath her breath she said. "...again."
"He was here before?" Gerard said grabbing a chair and sitting next to her bed. As he turned on the light he noticed the bruses on her arm whick wernt there earlyer in the day. "What did he do to you?"
"Nothing." She said putting the blanket over her arms.
"Are you sure because the bruses on your arm dont look like nothing."
"Yeh," he said trying not to cry. "Its nothing."
"Okay. But remember im here anytime you need to talk. I dont care what hour it is." That brought a smile to her face. "Finally I got a smile from her." he laughed.
"I smile but not that much."
"Well you should alot more."
"And why is that?"
"Because your smile is very pretty." then he thought. 'SHIT!!!! That one comment might have just gave her a huge hint that I like her. Nice Gerard, very nice.'
"Really?" She smiled again.
"Would I lie to you?"
"Ummm... I dont know would you lie to me?" She eyes him.
"Me... lie... hahaha...never. But I never lie to my friends. I lie to my family...well to Rebecce. But in otherwords I dont lie."
"Ok...so you say." She laughed.
"Do you know where your gonna go once you get out of here." Gerard asked hoping she didnt say 'Back home with Mike.'
"Acually... I dont know." She sighed.
"If you want you can move in with us... I mean we have an extra room."
"Really?"
"Ofcorse... its better then that hell hole right?"
"Right. But I dont wanna interfear with your guy's lifes or anything."
"Dont worry, you wont be any trouble. But warning...Frank and my sister fight all the time."
"I think its sexual tention." They both laughed.
"But yeh and it gets kinda noisy."
"Anythings better then with Mike."
"Yeh true...So when do you get out?"
"Ummm," she thought for a momment. "Tomorrow."
"So I'll be picking you up tomorrow. Is there anything your gonna need from Mike's?"
"My Ipod, cloths, laptop, and notebook."
"If you want I'll get them now."
"NO-" Amy said sitting up to fast. "Oww."
"Are you okay?" He asked as some red liquid seeped into her gown.
"Yeh, im fine. Just tore a couple stiches."
"Do you need a doctor?" Gerard askes worried.
"Nah im sure im fine. Really."
"Okay." He sighed. "Well Im gonna go back home so you can get some sleep."
"Oh." She said dissapointaly. "Okay."
'SHE WANTS YOU TO STAY GERARD...SO DONT LEAVE!!!!!!!!' His head screamed.
"Well I guess I could stay longer." He sat back down. She just smiled. They just sat there and talked about nothing really. Well movies, books, music...but thats really nothing. Then the subject of alcohol came along.
"Its made me suicidal. So ive been sober for about 2 years now." He said rubbing his temple.
"Ive never really drunk. Well when I was really depressed then I would turn to it. But really never liked the taist."
"I didnt eather, but my mind and body thought I needed it to be the man I was...and I never wanna be that guy ever again." They both laughed and got off that subject. The next thing they remembered was waking up. Gerard resting hafe on her bed and hafe on the chair and Amy's head on his shoulder. 'Gerard, this might be the last time she is like this so DONT BLOW IT.' He did something that he never thought he would do ever. He bent his head down and kissedher lips. Just then she shifted I her sleep. He froze. 'Dont wake up." He prayed. But all she did was turn her body so she was facing Gerard. He just smiled and kisses her forhead and enjoyed what he thought he could never have.
When Amy finally woke up it was about time for her to be released.
"Good morning." Gerard said overly perky.
"I think someone had to much coffee this morning." Amy laughed as she got out of bed and stretched.
"Ummm...I got you something." Gerard said handing her a box.
"What is it?" She asked opening it. To reveal a new outfit.
"I just thought you wouldent wanna wear bloodstained cloths." He smiled shyly.
"I love it." She said giving him a hug. "Thank you so much. Ive never been treated so well by anyone before."
"Its no problem." He hugged her back. "Now comeone, I know that Mike's at work so I think its the perfect opportunity to grab your things."
"Yeh, well can I change first?"
"Yeh I guess." He laughes as she walked into the bathroom.
'I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling shattered
Shards of me too sharp to put back together;
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her
And I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.' She thought to her self as she looked at herself in the mirror. 'What guy will ever find me attractive. I mean... god I dont even know what I mean. I so owe Gerard for buying me this outfit.' She smiled as she walked out of the bathroom to find Gerard.
"Ready?" He asked.
"Yeh...I just hope Mike wont be there."
they signed her out and walked to his car. Gerard opened the door for her.
"Thank you." She smiled as she climed in.
"Its no prolbem." Gerard smiled back as he shut it.
As they made there way back to Amy Lee's old house. Amy got more nervous due to not knowing if Mike was there or not. 'If Mike is there im gonna die...literly. I dont wanna get Gerard into this mess. If he gets hurt im gonna blame myself...' She thought as the came to a stop.
"Where here." He said opening the door. When they were both about to open the door Gerard chimed in. "Ok so how long do you think i'll take?"
"Why nervous?" She laughed walking inside.
"No...ok yeh...but for you though." He gave her a smile. "Is there a way I can help?" He said following her upstares.
"Ummm... I dont think so. But if I think of something i'll let you know."
"Ok." Gerard said sitting on Amy and Mikes bed. Which sent a shiver up his spine. "Who's side is this?"
"What?!" She asked laughing.
"Whos side of the bed is this."
"Mine...why?"
"Because, I dont wanna sit on the jackass's side."
"Ok, oh and while your there can you reach under the matress and find my notebook?"
"Sure." He said finding it. Secretly began to flip through it. Finding this one note:
Dear diary,
I cant take life anymore. Save me from his life. My mine new and help me find my "Prince Charming". If there is such a thing. Ive giving up all hope on anyone loving me for me and treating me like im a human. So much for hapally ever after if there is even a happy begining. I wanna leave Mike but im to scared for my life. And if I get with someone new...ill be afraid for his. Why cant things ever be easy? Well I did meet some new friends today...atleast I think there my friends. Theres:
Mikey, Frank, Ray, Bob, and Rebecca...and I cant forget Gerard.
How can I forget him? I mean he's so nice, so welcomming. Everything I wish Mike was. When I looked into his eyes after Mike called I could see that he might have wanted to save me. But he has a girlfriend. Shes lucky...I do have to say that. Her and Gerard make a cute couple. I dont know why deep inside im...jelious. I wish that he would like me...and not just as a friend.
The wonds on my face are beginning to heal. But I know there gonna leave scars. They fade right? Yeh the phisical scars...not the mental, emotional scars:
I'd give anything to give me to you
Can you forget the world that you thought you knew
If you want me,
Come and find me
Nothing's stopping you so please release me
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
Nothing left to make me feel anymore
There's only you and everyday I need more
If you want me
Come and find me
I'll do anything you say just tell me
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
Anything for you
I'll become your earth and sky
Forever never die
I'll be everything you need
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
Tata...if I survive the night.
Amy
Then all of a sudden a voice broke is dase.
"Are you ready?" She asked sitting down next to him.
"Yeh comeon before Mike comes home." He grabbed her arm lightly so hshe wouldent be afraid and they both went downstares into his car to go back to his house and her new home.
*-Dream-*
"Gerard!!!!!!" He hurd Amy yell.
"Where are you?!" he said in a paniced(sp) voice.
"In he-" then he hurd a familiar voice in replace of hers.
"If you dont shut the fuck up he'll go to." he felt the heat of tears rush to his eyes because he couldent find her and he didnt know what was gonna happen to her. As he found the room he saw her in tears in the arms of the man who almost killed her 3 years ago.
"Let her go." Gerard said trying not to let his feelings show.
"Sorry thats one thing I will not do." As he pulled the gun to her head and pulled the trigger. "Well my work here is now done." he smiled and walked out to leave her there on the floor in a pool of crimson red. Gerard immidetly(sp) ran to his wife.
"Please dont leave me." he begged. "Please." he brushed the hair from her face.
"Never let go." She whispered as she passed.
"No, dont go please. I need you. Please dont.Amy hold on, you need to hold on for the baby and me, and your friends and family." he kissed her lips and sat there holding on to what was there no more.
*-End Dream-*
Chapter 8:
As he made his way to the hospitle someone called his cell.
"Hello?" Gerard said answering it while turning the corner.
"Hey baby." Sammie said from the other line
"Hey," he said in a surpirzed voice, and also not wanting to talk to her.
"Where are you?"
"Ummm... in the car. Why do you ask."
"Well I just wanted to say that I wont be in touch for a few days." She said as another voice whisered to her.
"Ummm...ok. Where yah going?"
"To...to...ummmm... New York."
"And it took you all this time to figure it out?" Gerard said pulling into the hospitle parking lot.
"What I just woke up."
"Okay well I gotta go." he said as he hung up the phone. He signed in and went into Amy's room. Only to find a figure sitting up in the dark.
"Who's there?" She said whispered like.
"Its me. Gerard."
"Oh, hey. I just thought it was Mike." She said then underneath her breath she said. "...again."
"He was here before?" Gerard said grabbing a chair and sitting next to her bed. As he turned on the light he noticed the bruses on her arm whick wernt there earlyer in the day. "What did he do to you?"
"Nothing." She said putting the blanket over her arms.
"Are you sure because the bruses on your arm dont look like nothing."
"Yeh," he said trying not to cry. "Its nothing."
"Okay. But remember im here anytime you need to talk. I dont care what hour it is." That brought a smile to her face. "Finally I got a smile from her." he laughed.
"I smile but not that much."
"Well you should alot more."
"And why is that?"
"Because your smile is very pretty." then he thought. 'SHIT!!!! That one comment might have just gave her a huge hint that I like her. Nice Gerard, very nice.'
"Really?" She smiled again.
"Would I lie to you?"
"Ummm... I dont know would you lie to me?" She eyes him.
"Me... lie... hahaha...never. But I never lie to my friends. I lie to my family...well to Rebecce. But in otherwords I dont lie."
"Ok...so you say." She laughed.
"Do you know where your gonna go once you get out of here." Gerard asked hoping she didnt say 'Back home with Mike.'
"Acually... I dont know." She sighed.
"If you want you can move in with us... I mean we have an extra room."
"Really?"
"Ofcorse... its better then that hell hole right?"
"Right. But I dont wanna interfear with your guy's lifes or anything."
"Dont worry, you wont be any trouble. But warning...Frank and my sister fight all the time."
"I think its sexual tention." They both laughed.
"But yeh and it gets kinda noisy."
"Anythings better then with Mike."
"Yeh true...So when do you get out?"
"Ummm," she thought for a momment. "Tomorrow."
"So I'll be picking you up tomorrow. Is there anything your gonna need from Mike's?"
"My Ipod, cloths, laptop, and notebook."
"If you want I'll get them now."
"NO-" Amy said sitting up to fast. "Oww."
"Are you okay?" He asked as some red liquid seeped into her gown.
"Yeh, im fine. Just tore a couple stiches."
"Do you need a doctor?" Gerard askes worried.
"Nah im sure im fine. Really."
"Okay." He sighed. "Well Im gonna go back home so you can get some sleep."
"Oh." She said dissapointaly. "Okay."
'SHE WANTS YOU TO STAY GERARD...SO DONT LEAVE!!!!!!!!' His head screamed.
"Well I guess I could stay longer." He sat back down. She just smiled. They just sat there and talked about nothing really. Well movies, books, music...but thats really nothing. Then the subject of alcohol came along.
"Its made me suicidal. So ive been sober for about 2 years now." He said rubbing his temple.
"Ive never really drunk. Well when I was really depressed then I would turn to it. But really never liked the taist."
"I didnt eather, but my mind and body thought I needed it to be the man I was...and I never wanna be that guy ever again." They both laughed and got off that subject. The next thing they remembered was waking up. Gerard resting hafe on her bed and hafe on the chair and Amy's head on his shoulder. 'Gerard, this might be the last time she is like this so DONT BLOW IT.' He did something that he never thought he would do ever. He bent his head down and kissedher lips. Just then she shifted I her sleep. He froze. 'Dont wake up." He prayed. But all she did was turn her body so she was facing Gerard. He just smiled and kisses her forhead and enjoyed what he thought he could never have.
When Amy finally woke up it was about time for her to be released.
"Good morning." Gerard said overly perky.
"I think someone had to much coffee this morning." Amy laughed as she got out of bed and stretched.
"Ummm...I got you something." Gerard said handing her a box.
"What is it?" She asked opening it. To reveal a new outfit.
"I just thought you wouldent wanna wear bloodstained cloths." He smiled shyly.
"I love it." She said giving him a hug. "Thank you so much. Ive never been treated so well by anyone before."
"Its no problem." He hugged her back. "Now comeone, I know that Mike's at work so I think its the perfect opportunity to grab your things."
"Yeh, well can I change first?"
"Yeh I guess." He laughes as she walked into the bathroom.
'I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling shattered
Shards of me too sharp to put back together;
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her
And I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.' She thought to her self as she looked at herself in the mirror. 'What guy will ever find me attractive. I mean... god I dont even know what I mean. I so owe Gerard for buying me this outfit.' She smiled as she walked out of the bathroom to find Gerard.
"Ready?" He asked.
"Yeh...I just hope Mike wont be there."
they signed her out and walked to his car. Gerard opened the door for her.
"Thank you." She smiled as she climed in.
"Its no prolbem." Gerard smiled back as he shut it.
As they made there way back to Amy Lee's old house. Amy got more nervous due to not knowing if Mike was there or not. 'If Mike is there im gonna die...literly. I dont wanna get Gerard into this mess. If he gets hurt im gonna blame myself...' She thought as the came to a stop.
"Where here." He said opening the door. When they were both about to open the door Gerard chimed in. "Ok so how long do you think i'll take?"
"Why nervous?" She laughed walking inside.
"No...ok yeh...but for you though." He gave her a smile. "Is there a way I can help?" He said following her upstares.
"Ummm... I dont think so. But if I think of something i'll let you know."
"Ok." Gerard said sitting on Amy and Mikes bed. Which sent a shiver up his spine. "Who's side is this?"
"What?!" She asked laughing.
"Whos side of the bed is this."
"Mine...why?"
"Because, I dont wanna sit on the jackass's side."
"Ok, oh and while your there can you reach under the matress and find my notebook?"
"Sure." He said finding it. Secretly began to flip through it. Finding this one note:
Dear diary,
I cant take life anymore. Save me from his life. My mine new and help me find my "Prince Charming". If there is such a thing. Ive giving up all hope on anyone loving me for me and treating me like im a human. So much for hapally ever after if there is even a happy begining. I wanna leave Mike but im to scared for my life. And if I get with someone new...ill be afraid for his. Why cant things ever be easy? Well I did meet some new friends today...atleast I think there my friends. Theres:
Mikey, Frank, Ray, Bob, and Rebecca...and I cant forget Gerard.
How can I forget him? I mean he's so nice, so welcomming. Everything I wish Mike was. When I looked into his eyes after Mike called I could see that he might have wanted to save me. But he has a girlfriend. Shes lucky...I do have to say that. Her and Gerard make a cute couple. I dont know why deep inside im...jelious. I wish that he would like me...and not just as a friend.
The wonds on my face are beginning to heal. But I know there gonna leave scars. They fade right? Yeh the phisical scars...not the mental, emotional scars:
I'd give anything to give me to you
Can you forget the world that you thought you knew
If you want me,
Come and find me
Nothing's stopping you so please release me
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
Nothing left to make me feel anymore
There's only you and everyday I need more
If you want me
Come and find me
I'll do anything you say just tell me
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
Anything for you
I'll become your earth and sky
Forever never die
I'll be everything you need
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
Tata...if I survive the night.
Amy
Then all of a sudden a voice broke is dase.
"Are you ready?" She asked sitting down next to him.
"Yeh comeon before Mike comes home." He grabbed her arm lightly so hshe wouldent be afraid and they both went downstares into his car to go back to his house and her new home.