Green Eternity: Lost and Running

Bert walked in from the back lounge, sliding his feet along the floor and humming to himself. He jumped as he realised I was awake and then spread his arms wide in welcome as his face lit up with a genuine smile.
“Jepha my main man, come here often?” Bert swapped his open arms for a sleazy smirk.
I twirled my hair around my finger and fluttered my lashes at him, playing along at his game.
“Oh no, no Mr. This is my first time,” I said in an unusually high-pitched voice.
Bert grabbed a beer out of the fridge and the kettle from the bench and sat down on the other side of the table, waving both objects around.
He poured hot water into my cup and opened the bottle of beer, leaning back to let the sunlight enter his bubble.
By the looks of him he had spent another night without sleep, his long black greasy hair was matted together with a substance I’d rather not think about, his bright blue eyes stared bluntly at me, Bert was intense, but that was Bert.
“I’m sorry about accusing you of being on drugs dude,” he looked down into his bottle of beer.
“It’s just that, well, it isn’t like you to be tripping out over dreams, you’re the soberest out of everyone, just shouldn’t be happening,” he paused again to swig from the bottle.
“Well I… am sorry, this must be so fucking hard for you” he put his hand on mine and searched for forgiveness in my eyes.
I searched for the words in my head; it’s not every day that Bert apologises to you.
While I was searching for the words in my head I found something else, Scarlett, tears welled up behind my eyes and forced themselves forward, breeching my comfort barrier.
“Bert, it’s so hard” I croaked and sought comfort in my cup of Green Tea.
Bert stayed completely still, not letting himself feel uncomfortable.
“Jeph, Jepha, don’t cry, everything’s okay dude, would you like to talk about it?” his hand reached for my arm as he tried to soothe me.
I shook slightly as I attempted to wipe the tears from my eyes.
“It was so real, so real, she was perfect, so perfect, everyone was so happy” the tears became too much to handle and I became a withering heap.
Bert abandoned his beer and moved next to me, taking me in his arms and swaying me from side to side.
We stayed like this for a while, time had no meaning anymore so I did not know how long, but I felt safe in Bert’s arms.
So safe.
But things couldn’t stay safe forever.
I snuck into the front lounge before Quinn and Dan got up, resorting to writing in my journal for lack of a stimulating thing to do.
Thyme had suggested I keep a diary so I can write down every part of the dream whenever I remember it and in the off chance that I go completely crazy the guys can read it for a bit of a laugh.
I flicked through the worn out pages and counted them, 135 pages – 43 days, I’ve never written so much in my life. Maybe one day I’ll look back on this and everything will become clear, yeah, right.
My hand shook as I scrawled down today’s thoughts.

April 20th ‘08
Today as one would say, is a new day, a fresh start, a clean slate.
It was just a dream, just a dream.
I feel so confused, so lost.
Scarlett.
What did that dream mean?
Did Scarlett try to tell me something?
Was it a sign?
Scarlett.
I love her.