These Eyes Are Blind

“Oh fuck,” Frank says.

“What?” Gerard asks sleepily.

“Exactly.”

“Huh?”

“You’re here,” Frank says, and Gerard feels Frank pulling himself up. Mostly he notices the movement because he no longer feels the warmth of Frank leaning against his arm. He misses the contact as soon as it’s gone.

“I am?” Gerard asks, because he knows that’s true, but he’s not sure what Frank means by stating the obvious.

“You shouldn’t be there,” Frank says.

“Why not?”

“Because,” Frank says.

“Because why?”

“Just because,” Frank replies.

“Are you mad at me?” Gerard asks, feeling sad, as he finally decides to open his eyes and wake himself up. He’d rather not. Frank’s bed is comfortable. Mostly it’s because it’s Frank’s bed.

Frank pulls himself up and sits on the mattress, with his back facing Gerard. It’s almost like he’s staring at the wall, but he isn’t of course.

“No, I’m mostly mad at me,” Frank replies.

“I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have let you stay here,” Frank mumbles. Frank is terrified that he let Gerard sleep in his fucking bed. What was he thinking? The goal was to not get close to Gerard. The goal was to not want to be near him. His main goal in life right now was to not get attached to this stupidly bright haired guy, and now he’s gone and let his guard down way too much. He let the guy sleep in his bed. That is the opposite of not getting close. That is getting close. That’s getting really close.

The worst part about the fact that Gerard is right there is that Frank has the urge to grab him and cling to him. He’s not sure why. Gerard has a really warm presence and Frank is so sure that he’s the kind of guy who you really want to hug, but Frank does not want himself to want that. He does obviously want that because he’s human, but he wishes he didn’t.

“Frank,” Gerard says softly, almost sadly, and he puts a hand on Frank’s shoulder.

Frank tenses up when he feels Gerard touch his shoulder, and Gerard notices immediately. Gerard doesn’t know what to do though. He just woke up, and he’s fighting off the urge to grab Frank and kiss him. That’s not a good thing to think about a guy who keeps suppressing having any emotions for Gerard at all.

Gerard kind of hates the way Frank affects him, but in the kind of way that he’s happy about. He’d rather be angry at himself for not being able to kiss Frank than have never met him at all. That would be a million times worse. He doesn’t understand what it is about Frank that has him hooked though. Gerard just needs to see this story through. He needs to find out how or if his future has any interaction with Frank’s. Ideally, they’d intertwine, but Gerard isn’t optimistic about it. Especially not with the way that Frank keeps denying to either himself, or Gerard, or both of them, that he even enjoys Gerard’s company.

To both Gerard and Frank’s surprise, Frank doesn’t shake Gerard’s hand off of him. He doesn’t really do anything for a moment until he breathes in and sighs.

“Fuck,” Frank groans.

“What?”

Frank ignores Gerard’s question and instead asks a completely different one, “What color are the walls?”

“Uh?”

“Gerard, what color are the walls in this room?”

“They’re, um, sort of a light green. Why?”

“Because I can’t see them.”

“So you asked me?” Gerard asks.

“Yeah,” Frank says. “Why? Is there someone else I should’ve asked?”

“No,” Gerard says, because now he’s all confused too. It never really occurs to him just how much he underappreciates being able to see. Frank can’t see anything so he must be really curious all of the time.

“So is it like a Kermit the Frog green or more of a, um, I don’t know any other greens... like a Christmas tree green?”

“Not really either,” Gerard says, smiling, because he hadn’t anticipated that he’d have to describe a paint color to anyone today. “It’s sort of, like a, uh, I don’t know, just pale green. Not really an in your face color.”

“What’s it feel like?” Frank asks, “I don’t know what green looks like. I, uh, it’s just not coming to me.”

“Feel? Like, what’s it remind me of?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Gerard nods and thinks, “Well, I guess, it’s kind of like the color of a Christmas tree, but really pale. Uh, sort of a spring color. Makes me think about the time of the year when everything is starting to come into bloom. Summer’s almost there, but the air isn’t too hot yet.”

“What would it smell like if you could smell it?” Frank questions.

Gerard thinks for a few minutes and tries to come up with the right word to describe the walls to Frank, “I think, uh, sage.”

“That’s rather descriptive,” Frank notes.

“You told me to describe it to you!”

“Yeah,” Frank smiles, “and you did. Thank you. It means a lot.”

Gerard stops for a moment, trying to figure out whether Frank just thanked him. That’s got to be a first.

“Y-you’re welcome,” Gerard stutters.

Frank is very aware of the fact that Gerard's hand hasn’t left his shoulder when Gerard squeezes it lightly. "Hey, are you still mad?" Gerard asks quietly.

"I hope you aren't," Gerard says not giving Frank a chance to answer. "I mean, I don't fully know what's going on with you internally, but I hope none of it is regret. That was the most comfortable I've slept in a long time."

Frank sighs and drops his head down. He doesn't want this. Frank can't fight Gerard off when he's saying sweet things to him and treats him so nicely. Why can't Gerard just be a dick like almost everyone else he encounters, or at least just friendly like Patrick, Pete, Mikey, and Brendon? Why does Gerard have to like him, and furthermore, why does Frank like him back?

Gerard shifts on the bed, moving closer to Frank, and rests his chin on top of the hand that's on Frank's shoulder. Frank stops breathing, and Gerard is aware of it. That has to be a good thing right? I mean, of course Gerard doesn't want Frank to die, but Frank being breathless when Gerard touches him is a good thing. Gerard just stays there thinking of what to say or do, because Frank hasn't said anything in response to what he said.

Frank fights to compose himself enough to speak a sentence or two. With Gerard breathing in his ear like that, it's a bit troubling to do so.

"I don't really know what to say," Frank admits.

"Don't say anything, Frankie. You deserve to be happy, okay? I don't know why you think you have to push me away or something, but I'm not going anywhere. Not unless you truthfully tell me right now that there's no future with us. As friends or something more," Gerard inhales Frank's scent and smiles to himself. When did he become such a creep? "So is there no chance of a future with us?"

Frank finally exhales and turns towards Gerard, which is a bad idea, because Gerard's lips brush against his cheek. Gerard doesn't move, but Frank does, not before letting it linger a little longer though.

"I guess only time will tell," Frank whispers and Gerard's smile widens.

"I have time now," Gerard states.

"So?" Frank questions.

"So... how about you let me take you out to dinner to pass some of this time," Gerard asks coyly.

"U-uh, I-I don't think t-that's a good idea," Frank says breathlessly, because Gerard is now nudging his neck with his nose.

"I've already slept with you in your bed Frank. I think that should've been number one on your list of 'not good ideas'," Gerard whispers into his neck.

"Trust me, it is," Frank whispers back.

Gerard chuckles softly and fights the urge to full on kiss Frank's neck. Instead, he wraps his free arm around Frank's waist and squeezes him, taking a chance. "So let me take you out. Please, Frankie?"

Frank is going to die, right here and now, if Gerard doesn't stop. At least that'd be his get out of dinner free card. Frank can't understand for the life of him why he hasn't elbowed Gerard in his gut and pushed him away by now. Gerard is trying to mold himself into Frank, and truthfully it feels good, so that could be why. Frank knows the only way Gerard will let go is if he says yes to dinner, and right now he needs Gerard to let go or he doesn't know what he'll do, or let Gerard do.

"I have to get dressed," Frank replies simply. "You have to get out so I can get dressed." Frank doesn't want Gerard to let go, but he has to. He doesn't though.

"Won't you need help?" Gerard asks.

"No, not really," Frank says hoping that'll be enough to get Gerard to let go and leave.

"You need some clothes don't you?" Gerard asks while rubbing his nose back and forth against Frank's neck.

"Yes, and I need you to let go of me," Frank says as his breathing quickens. "You need to let go of me."

"If that's what you want," Gerard answers, and obviously that's not what Frank wants. That's not what he wants at all, but he can't actually allow what he wants either. That just isn't going to happen.

"Well you can't get my clothes holding onto me," Frank reasons, noting the hint of sadness in Gerard's answer. He doesn't like hearing that in Gerard's voice.

"You're right," Gerard says and squeezes Frank one last time before letting him go and moving back on the bed. "So do you know where your clothes are?"

Frank swallows and nods. He turns in Gerard's direction and points at his dresser. "My jeans are in the left second drawer. My shirts are in the right second drawer."

Gerard nods and stands to go over to the dresser. Frank listens as he shifts through the drawers. "Do you have anything specific you want to wear?"

"You're the one with the eyes, what do you want to see me in?" Frank asks a little more confidently than he should have.

Gerard chuckles a 'hm' and continues to sift through the many jeans Frank has. "I thought you said you were poor."

"I am, it's not my fault I've stopped growing. I don't really have to throw out old clothes, because I don't grow much. I have tons of clothes, from when I was like fourteen on up. Ask my mother, she has bins of them. She yells at me for having so many clothes that she has to store some away, but I just tell her it's her fault. If you don't want me to have so many clothes stop buying them. Am I right or am I right?" Frank asks with a shrug of his shoulders that makes Gerard laugh at how cute he looks.

"You're right," Gerard says as he checks out a nice pair of black jeans that Frank has. He throws them on the bed and moves to the shirt drawer. "What does she say when you say that?"

"She simply tells me that she can't neglect me and not buy me new clothes. I don't think it's neglect if I have tons of old ones," Frank shrugs again, but this time absently.

"I agree with you," Gerard says as he throws a white button up shirt on Frank's bed, followed by a long sleeve black shirt. "Do you have a say in what you pick out?"

"Oh yeah, I pick out everything. She explains it to me and I say yes or no. Sometimes she'll surprise me with things that she knows I'll like, like band tees and super hero tees, but anything else I pick out."

"You have great taste," Gerard states.

Frank chuckles quietly, "I know. Thank you anyway."

Gerard nods because he knows Frank can see him better now that the sun has started to set. "You have a lot of stripe shirts, are you aware of that?"

"Yes."

"Some of them are the same colors," Gerard says with a bit of confusion.

"Ah, yes, but are they all the same width?" Frank asks.

"What?" Gerard asks making a face.

"Pick up two stripe shirts that are the same."

Gerard turns back to the drawer and picks out two black and white striped shirts. He turns to Frank, holding them in the air.

“What colors?"

“Black and white,” Gerard says.

“Right, and are they striped the same?”

“Yes,” Gerard replies.

"Now, I'm the blind one here right? I can’t see those, but I can assure you that, although those are the same shirt, they are the exact opposite of the same shirt?"

"What?" Gerard asks, again in bewilderment.

"You're an idiot Gerard. One of those has the thin stripes and the other has to have the thick stripes. I even have one more in there that has medium stripes," Frank finishes with a nod.

"Are you kidding me?" Gerard asks as he notes that Frank is in fact correct.

"No."

"I am an idiot," Gerard sighs and puts the shirts back into the drawer and closes it. "Do you need any, uh, undergarments?" Gerard asks awkwardly like he didn't just damn near fuck Frank's neck.

"Just socks. Top right drawer. I showered before you showed up so I'm set on underwear. I have been walking around in these socks though, so I could use a new pair."

Gerard has the socks by the time Frank finishes speaking and he sits them on the bed. He takes them apart to make it easier for Frank and stands there with his hands on his hips. "Where are your shoes?"

"Closet. Black chucks please?"

Gerard chuckles and nods as he goes over to the closet to fish them out.

"This is why being blind sucks."

"Why?"

"Because you are bending over and I can't check out your ass," Frank jokes and laughs when Gerard stands up quickly. Frank knows because Gerard's head shoots up. Gerard is glad for a split second that Frank is blind, because he just turned a bright red.

"Oh man. Got them. Are you sure you don't need help?" Gerard asks as he sits the shoes down.

"I'm sure. If I do, I will call for my mother. You can go now," Frank stands up and starts pushing Gerard towards the door.

"Okay, okay. You're going to push me through it," Gerard opens the door and steps out of the room. "Don't keep me waiting too long."

"Yeah yeah," Frank says and shuts the door in Gerard's face.

Frank exhales loudly and runs his fingers through his hair. He didn't think he'd get the chance to breathe properly again. Frank walks over to his bed and sits down. He begins to wonder why he said yes to Gerard taking him out. Is this going to be considered a date or just going out to eat? Frank is in some deep shit, he knows he can't just drop Gerard now.

Gerard sits at the table and thanks Frank's mother for the mug of coffee she hands him. She disregards his thanks and sits at the table across from him. She sips her own coffee and then places it in front of herself, clearing her throat.

"So, why are you out here with me?" she asks.

"Oh, Frank's getting dressed," Gerard replies.

"Dressed? Are you two going somewhere?"

"Yes. I'm taking him out to dinner. That is if it's okay with you," Gerard adds quickly when Frank's mothers’ eyes widen comically.

"That's fine with me I guess, I just can't actually believe it's okay with Frank. What are you doing to my son?"

Gerard shrugs and chuckles nervously, "To be completely honest I'm surprised he said yes too."

"You listen here, Gerard, and you listen good, okay?" Gerard nods and she continues, "Whatever you have in mind for you and my son is none of my business. It will, however, become my business if you hurt him. Do you understand that?" She asks raising her brows condescendingly at Gerard.

"It was never in my plans to hurt Frank. I just want to make him happy, because he makes me happy," Gerard answers truthfully.

She smiles and shakes her head.

"What is it Ms. Iero?"

"I just never thought I'd see the day where someone would be willing to get to know Frank on an intimate level," She states. Gerard nods understandingly.

She must've seen the look on Gerard's face because she holds up her hand and begins speaking again, "I don't mean it the way you think. My son is handsome, I know that, but he's also blind. People are horrible in this world where they make people like him a target. It's a shame that they don't think blind people have feelings too. People treat my son like crap, albeit I know his mouth has a part in it, but some of the things they do just isn't acceptable even after he speaks a few harsh words. Not many people chase after the blind, cynical kid the way you’re doing, ya know? Not everyone understands him, because they don't try to. So forgive me if I didn't think my son could ever find someone in whatever way you like him."

"His smart mouth gives me life. I love it. He's funny and charming in his own cynical way. He is handsome, beautiful if you will. Basically, I just want to be in his life. You're probably thinking it's odd, because it's so soon, but there's just something about him. I hope this doesn't sound bad, but I'm glad no one tried to understand him, because then I probably wouldn't be taking him out tonight. He doesn't want to be with me, but I'm hoping I can change that."

"Oh Gerard," she chuckles, "He wants to be with you, okay? Stevie Wonder could see that. Shit, Frank can, that's probably why he acts like he doesn't. He doesn't want to want you. Surely you've seen this before. My boy has been through a lot. He doesn't let people in easily, but here you are, and that probably scares him. You aren't just offering friendship, you want him as a partner, and he's never had that before. Just give it time." She pats Gerard on his hand and he smiles warmly at her.

"Thanks Ms. I, you're pretty cool."

"You just remember what I said and I'll stay cool."

"I got it."

They both turn when they hear Frank curse and hit the wall with his cane, as if trying to get around. Frank's mother screws up her face, because Frank is pretty good with the hallway already, so what’s up? He appears seconds later and she sees what the problem is.

"Need help there honey?" she goes to stand, but Gerard stops her.

"You rest, I got this," he whispers and she almost melts. She whispers a thank you back.

"The strings keep getting tangled. They're somehow tangled in here. Looped wrong or something, I don't know. I should've just gone with my vans," Frank says annoyed.

Gerard stands up and walks over to him. He can tell how upset Frank is and it hurts his heart a little. He doesn't like when Frank isn't smiling, it bothers him a lot. Gerard only wants to see Frank smile.

"It's okay, Frankie. My stupid laces get tangled all the time," Gerard says.

"Yeah, but you don't have to go to your mom to help you, and you don't bump along shit to get there," Frank says angrily.

"Do you want me to buy you a pair of converse without the laces?" Gerard asks and Frank looks down, following the sound of his voice.

"That's possible?"

"Yeah. They're designed to not need shoe laces," Gerard explains.

"Sounds cool. My mom could invest in them for me."

"Gerard came up with it, I think you should let him get them for you baby," she cuts in.

"Is that your way of saying you don't want to buy me new shoes?" Frank accuses.

"Of course not, Frankie. Gerard just wants to help."

"God, I don't want any help! I just want these fucking shoes..." Frank stomps his foot angrily and makes his way over to a chair, awkwardly trying to avoid falling over his laces, and Gerard. Frank's mother looks at him worriedly, but Gerard gives her a reassuring smile. He somewhat knows how to deal with Frank's outbursts by now.

"Hey, you know who else hates laces?" Gerard asks.

Frank sighs and shakes his head, "I'm sure you're going to tell me."

"Mhmm. Superheroes. Think about it for a second. Have you ever seen any superheroes that had shoes that requires shoe laces when they're in costume?"

"I suppose I haven't."

"Exactly. That's another thing we can add to the list of why you'd make a cool superhero."

"Maybe I'll carry shoe laces around to shoe stores, and choke out each salesmen who doesn't try to persuade people to pick the ones without laces," Frank says.

"There you go. Can I be your sidekick?" Gerard asks as he starts to untangle Frank's shoe lace discreetly.

"I'll have to think about it."

Ms. Iero watches the whole exchange and smiles. She has never seen Frank calm down so quickly when he gets frustrated about needing help, or when things just aren't going accordingly.

"Oh come on, you know you want me on your team," Gerard teases and starts tying Frank's sneakers.

"I guess you could help out, but you'll have to do everything I say. That's just the way it has to be."

"You're the boss of this operation," Gerard jokes and Frank smiles.

"Right now I'm going to tell you that you have to get my coat. Are we walking or taking public transportation?" Frank asks, just now realizing Gerard doesn't have his car.

"Why would we do either of those things?" Gerard finishes the last knot on Frank's shoes and stands up.

"Well Brendon drove you here and I don't see, well hear Brendon anywhere."

"Frankie, Frankie, Frankie,” Gerard coos, “Brendon drove Mikey here. I drove my own car."

"Let me get this straight. You asked Mikey to do you a favor, but he had to get his own ride to do that favor for you?" Frank's baffled to say the least.

"Well, yeah."

"That's low."

"I don't like people in my car," Gerard says as if it's a no brainer.

"So why is this about to be my second time in your car?" Frank raises a brow at Gerard.

"You're not just people."

"Mikey's your brother."

"You're Frankie."

"So?"

Ms. Iero laughs quietly when Gerard puts his hand in his hair and tugs lightly.

"I guess you could say I like you on a different level than I like my brother. I want you next to me at all times, including in my car," Gerard sighs and places his hands on his hips.

"I still don't understand why."

"I'll explain it to you on the way to dinner or over dinner," Gerard puts his hand out for Frank, and Frank feels the movement. He even accepts to everyone's astonishment.

"What time will you be home, Frankie?" she asks.

"Shit!" Frank jumps and looks over at his mom. He snatches his hand from Gerard when he realizes she's watching, and scratches the back of his neck with it instead. "You have to make yourself known mother."

"Oh Frankie, you always know when someone's in the room. It must be pretty serious huh?"

"What?" Frank asks in confusion.

"You usually hear every little thing going on in a room, but you were oblivious to me still being in here. Have you found someone to take you off your game?"

"Oh mom please! I just... forgot. That’s all," Frank grimaces.

Frank's mother laughs and stands up, "I'm just saying son. So, what time shall I be expecting you back?"

“When Gerard drops me back off, that’s when I’ll be back,” Frank says, and then he reaches out to find Gerard, nearly hitting him in the nose.

“Ow,” Gerard says.

“Sorry, you’re shorter than I anticipated,” Frank replies, and tries to push Gerard in the general direction of the front door without pushing him into any furniture.

“Says you,” Gerard replies, frowning. He allows Frank to try to push him, but he’s not good at maneuvering, so eventually, Gerard just rolls his eyes and stops before Frank pushes him into something. “How about the guy with eyes leads the way.”

“Lead the way, Way.”

Gerard smiles and pulls Frank to stand beside him, where he then puts an arm around his waist. That is way too close for Frank though, judging by the way he squeals, and then pushes Gerard off of him.

“Sorry, Frankie,” Gerard says, opening the front door for him. Frank can’t see the guy, but he is positive that Gerard doesn’t look sorry at all.

“Yeah right,” Frank says, putting his cane out in front of him and stepping out of the house.

“Bye Frank!” his mother calls, and he pretends not to hear her. He does obviously. Frank’s got good ears.

“So where are you taking me?” Frank asks.

“Probably somewhere I can’t afford.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because you’re worth the crippling debt I’m about to put myself in,” Gerard replies, leading Frank to his car. Gerard gets the door for him, either because Frank is blind, or because that’s what a gentleman does on a first date. Probably both.

“This is not a date,” Frank declares, before he steps into the passenger’s seat. He’s trying to look at where Gerard’s eyes are, but he can’t see Gerard very well with the way that the shadow of the house is blocking most of the light.

“Call it what you will,” Gerard shrugs, and closes the door. He rushes around to the other side of the car, and sits down next to Frank.

“It’s not a date,” Frank mumbles again.

“No. It’s just two guys, one of whom who may like the other, and one of them definitely likes the other, who are getting dinner together.”

“I don’t like you.”

“No, but you’re kind of attracted to me,” Gerard says, and he starts the car.

“I can’t even see you,” Frank says.

“You don’t have to see me to be attracted to me.”

“Isn’t that, like the definition of the word?” Frank questions. Gerard shakes his head, and turns a corner, off of Frank’s street.

“Not technically. I guess that it’s one definition of the word, but that’s more of an aesthetic definition. You just find me alluring.”

“You’re cocky as fuck.”

“I’m not,” Gerard smirks, “but I’m not an idiot.”

“No, but you’re about as blind as I am if you think I like you.”

“Alright. Say whatever you want. Deny as much as you like. You’re not fooling anyone, Frank.”

“Would you just, ugh. I don’t know. Just... I hate you.”

“Sure.”

“I do,” Frank says.

“Frank, you’re smiling,” Gerard says looking at him, and matching his expression.

“No, I’m not,” Frank says, covering his mouth.

“Yes, Frank. Yes you are.”

Frank shakes his head, “no. I’m just... really proud of my gums.”

“You’re gums?”

“Yep,” Frank replies, “my gums are fantastic.”

“And your teeth are bright and shiny,” Gerard says.

“Are they?” Frank asks, and he runs his tongue along the back of his teeth. He can’t exactly tell what they look like though.

“They’re very bright,” Gerard says, chuckling. He’s not sure he fully understands what this conversation is even about.

“Brighter than your personality.”

“Hey!” Gerard says, but Frank is smiling even wider now. Gerard decides that if Frank teasing him is the easiest way to make him smile, than Frank can call him as many names as he likes. Gerard would even make him a list of names. Anything to see him smile.

“Gerard, can I ask you a real question?” Frank asks, changing the atmosphere in the car like a whip.

“Yeah?”

“Why are you so intent on getting close to me?”

Gerard stumbles for a moment, trying to find the right words, but he’s not sure they’re there, “I just... I don’t know, I just like you.”

“But why?”

“Because I do.”

“That’s not an answer,” Frank says.

“It’s the same answer you gave me earlier,” Gerard points out.

“Yeah but you know why already.”

“Do I?”

“I don’t get close to people, Gerard! Never! I don’t do that. I haven’t even talked this much to anyone besides my mother in practically ten years. No one cares enough to talk to me, for one thing, and I wouldn’t care to talk with someone who did talk to me.”

“But you’ve been talking to me.”

“Because you’re so damn pushy,” Frank says, folding his arms across his chest.

“You sure that’s the reason?” Gerard asks. He’s tempted to remind Frank of all the times he’s tried reassuring Frank that he’s not forcing him into anything. Gerard’s made it abundantly clear with everything he’s said to Frank, that he’s not telling the boy what to do. He always gives Frank the other option, the one to walk away, but Frank so far hasn’t taken that option. Frank’s made every single move he can to be nearer to Gerard. That’s not all in Gerard’s head, he’s sure of it, some part of Frank, maybe a part that’s unconsciously aware of it, is trying to get close.

“I don’t want to get close to people,” Frank says.

“If you want me to, I’ll take you home right now,” Gerard says quietly. He doesn’t want that in the slightest, but if Frank wants him to, he’ll do as asked. He’s not going to force Frank into anything. He’s been too steadfast on that principle, he’s not going to eat those words now.

Frank sets his face into a frown, trying to convince himself to pluck up the courage to tell Gerard to take him home. He doesn’t want that, but he knows that’s what he should say. He should tell Gerard to take him home. He should tell Gerard to stop trying to get close to him. He should get the hell away from this guy who has a cute tinny laugh, and an alarming talent for harmonizing with the radio station. That’s what he should do.

“No, I want to go to dinner,” Frank says, and curses himself internally. Why does he have no balls to tell Gerard to piss off? This is just insane. He needs to just say no to him, but he doesn’t want to say no.

“I’m glad,” Gerard replies.

“For the free food,” Frank clarifies, even though that’s not true. They both know it’s not true, but Gerard doesn’t point it out. Why would he? He’d just make Frank even more uncomfortable with his own emotions.

"Since I am going to dinner with you though I want a true reason for why you like me," Frank looks in Gerard's direction.

Gerard sighs and nods to Frank with a small smile on his face, "Okay, Frankie. I'll try my best."

Frank smiles sweetly and turns his attention back to the road. Gerard stares at Frank a little while longer before pressing down on the pedal.

When they arrive at the restaurant, Gerard rushes out of the car to get Frank's door for him. Frank pushes the door out swiftly and hits Gerard in his privates with the handle.

"Fuck, Frank! What the hell is up with you? I'm just opening the damn door, not proposing!" Gerard yells angrily. He can deal with Frank's words, but Frank hitting him in his nuts is an entirely different thing.

"Calm down. I didn't know you were there," Frank lies. He’d heard Gerard's light footsteps against the gravel. "And you know you yelling at me isn't going to make me fall to my knees and kiss it better." Frank sasses and walks away from Gerard, but close to the car for support on where to go.

Gerard stands there blinking away the image of Frank on his knees anywhere. The last thing he needs is the urge to get in Frank's anything. It makes him feel like a pervert a little bit. He closes the car door and rushes over to Frank. Gerard takes Frank's hand in one of his and places his other hand on the small of Frank's back.

"High step up," Gerard instructs and Frank complies.

"Thanks," Frank replies softly. "So where are we?"

"An Indian spot. Is that fine?" Gerard asks.

"Do they have food?" Frank asks in a slightly sarcastic tone.

"Yes."

"Okay then, this is just fine."

Gerard stops Frank at the entrance and opens the door for him.

"There's a clear walkway," Gerard tells Frank so he knows it's okay to just walk. Gerard rushes in behind Frank, and lets the door close.

They get a booth and sit down near the back of the restaurant. The place is dimly lit which makes Frank cringe. One, it's just a tad too intimate for a ‘not date’, and two, he can barely see in here. Frank slides into the booth with Gerard’s unwanted help, and then he sits on the opposite side of Frank.

"You look amazing in this lighting."

"Oh shut up, Gerard. Just read me the menu please and thank you. I'd like to get this over with as soon as possible."

"Wow. I'm going to pretend that didn't just hurt my heart," Gerard says.

"I meant so I can get your explanation on why you like me," Frank elaborates.

"It still sucks that you're only going through with this because you're on a mission for an answer."

Frank sighs and wishes he could roll his eyes at Gerard, "I kind of want to be here."

"That's better than nothing," Gerard says with a smile on his face.

Frank and Gerard order their food, and within half an hour, they have their plates. They both dig in and enjoy all of their meal. They even make jokes with each other and keep laughing. They’re really enjoying themselves together. Frank forgets to keep his shield up for most of it.

"This was some of the best food I've had in a long time. Don't tell my mother I said that though," Frank says seriously.

"Your secret's safe with me," Gerard does a small salute to Frank although he can't see him. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Gerard orders dessert for them and then pays the tab. He helps Frank with his coat and puts on his own before walking out with Frank around his arm. There are a few stares in their direction, but nothing worse than that, and Gerard’s glad. He doesn't want Frank's dinner ruined in any way.

They walk out into the night air and they’re hit instantly with flurries of snow. They walk slowly towards the car and Gerard sneaks a chance at holding Frank's hand. Frank stiffens, but doesn't pull away. He slowly starts to breathe again the longer Gerard holds his hand.

"So are you going to tell me why you like me now?" Frank asks, “You’ve been avoiding the subject for an hour.”

Gerard gives it a thought for a little while longer, trying to put his words together the best he can.

"There's just something about you. The first time I saw you I was glad there was nowhere else to sit. Your cynicism was a bit welcoming too. I’ve never met someone with your kind of wit. You have, like, your own brand of sarcasm. It's refreshing. You're funny and you're very very attractive. Plus, you have those badass Men in Black sunglasses, how could I resist?" Gerard chuckles and Frank laughs. "See? That right there... your laugh, brings happiness to me. Your smile lights up a room. I'd even go as far as saying a city. You light up my world, in a sense. To be put in corny words."

Gerard stops at the car and takes Frank's other hand in his, ignoring Frank's cane. He looks down at Frank and smiles. The look on Frank's face is one of confusion and it makes Gerard want to laugh. Frank just got an explanation and Gerard can tell he’s on the verge of asking for another one. Frank furrows his brows even more and tilts his head to the side; Gerard will never tire of seeing him do that.

"I don't get why though Gerard. Why the blind kid?" Frank asks and it breaks Gerard's heart.

"You being blind was never a factor, Frank. If anything, it's a blessing so you can't see what a loser I am."

"I can hear what a loser you are," Frank jokes with a pleasant smile on his face.

Gerard runs his index finger along one of Frank's smile lines, "I just want to be a part of what makes you smile like this."

Gerard leans forward and places a soft peck to Frank's cheek. Frank gasps lightly and looks up at where Gerard should be. He's pretty good with estimating his height now and he knows Gerard's still leaning forward a little. Frank stands there frozen in his spot and not because of the new fallen snow. Gerard holds Frank's chin and leans into his ear.

"Do you want to go home now?"

Frank’s heart is racing, and everything in his head is spinning like a top. Most of his thoughts are the kind that would force his mother to buy him a lifetime supply of soap.

The first thing that pops into Frank’s head at Gerard’s words is, ‘your place or mine?’ but then he realizes that he’s a blind virgin who’s never kissed anybody. Talk about a kick in the nuts.

“I-” is the only thing Frank is capable of saying.

“Yes or no would work,” Gerard says.

“Well where would we go if I said no?” Frank asks, and immediately regrets it.

“I don’t know,” Gerard says, “just somewhere.”

“I’m, uh, I’m cold,” Frank says as an excuse to evade the situation for at least a few seconds. He scrambles for the door handle and pulls it open, not sure if he’s going to hit Gerard with it again, or whether he wants that to happen or not.

A minute later Frank hears Gerard enter the car. It took him longer than Frank would’ve expected from a guy who can see, but he decides not to ask what took so long. He hears the car start with beeping from the dashboard, and he furrows his eyebrows.

“Where are we going?”

“Nowhere at the moment, I’m just turning the heat on. You said you were cold,” Gerard says.

“Oh.”

“You’ve asked me a lot of questions tonight, Frank,” Gerard says, “it’s time I ask one for myself.”

Frank’s only thought is ‘uh oh,’ but he huffs and gestures for Gerard to go ahead and ask whatever it is he has to ask.

“You’re so adamant to stay away from me,” Gerard starts, “Avoid liking me, or whatever it is you think you’re doing, and ultimately failing.”

“I’m not failing!”

“Just hear me out. So you don’t want to like me, right, because you don’t want to get close to people, because people are always hurting you, but Frank, what makes you think I’m going to hurt you? Why would I do that kind of a thing? I mean, obviously, I’ve owned up to it. You want me to make an official statement? I like you, Frank. Like, I like you in an ‘it’s going to kill me if we’re just friend’s' sort of way. I like you. There. You happy? So I’ve clarified that as much as I can, but you still don’t... ugh, I don’t even know. You don’t believe me? You don’t believe that I’m not out to hurt you? I’m not! I don’t want to hurt you. Frank, your mother is scary, I’m not stupid enough to cross her by hurting her son. I’m not going to hurt you, and that’s my guarantee. So why won’t you let me get close?”

“Just because,” Frank says.

“That’s not an answer.”

“It is though,” Frank replies.

“It isn’t!” Gerard says, “We’ve been trading that explanation off for the past few hours, but it doesn’t mean anything. You didn’t answer my question!”

“Well if you don’t like the answer,” Frank says, “ask a different question.”

“Fine. Are you ever going to move past this stubborn thing you have going and just admit to yourself that you’re not as emotionless as you try to be? I don’t want you to start thinking I’m arrogant, okay? That’s not what I want. So I won’t make this about me, but I’ll make it about Mikey. Or Brendon. Or those other two guys, Pete and Patrick. You can tell yourself whatever you like, Frank, but we both know they’re your friends. Putting off the use of that term doesn’t change anything. Striking oil and calling it water doesn’t change the chemistry of what’s there. You’re not fooling anyone, you’re just lying. You’re calling the oil water, when oil is going to make you a million times richer.”

“I think you should take me home now,” Frank states.

“This time you really didn’t answer my question.”

“You’re right. And I’m not gonna,” Frank replies.

“Fair enough,” Gerard huffs, starting the car.

The drive back is excruciatingly quiet. Gerard can literally hear the silence, which isn’t possible, but he can.

Neither of them even make the attempt to start talking until Gerard stops the car in front of Frank’s house. He parks it, but doesn’t turn off the car, because it’ll get really cold, really fast if he does.

“I pissed you off, didn’t I?” Gerard asks, sounding slightly broken.

Frank doesn’t respond.

“I didn’t mean to. I really fucking didn’t. God, I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to piss you off or make you angry. I crossed a line. I shouldn’t have done that. I feel fucking awful,” Gerard says, putting his head in his hands.

“Yeah, you crossed a line,” Frank finally says.

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’m so sor-”

“But you were right.”

“I was?”

“Yeah,” Frank says.

“Can you expand upon what you mean?”

“Nope,” Frank says, pushing the car door open, “Thanks for the free food.”

“Yeah,” Gerard says, looking at Frank confused. He stops the car to walk Frank to the door, and he’s way more than just surprised when Frank doesn’t tell him not to. He doesn’t say ‘I know my way’ or anything of the sort. He just sort of stands and waits there for Gerard.

Frank lets Gerard walk him to the door, but stops him before he enters the house.

“So,” Gerard says, “I have to work tomorrow.”

“At the mall,” Frank says.

“Yeah,” Gerard nods, “that’s where I work.”

“I know. And you have the obligation to buy me coffee if I ever visit you there, right?” Frank asks.

“Uh, I guess.”

“Well than you might be seeing me,” Frank says, grabbing the doorknob, “but I’m not going to be seeing you, obviously.”

Gerard grins, “You know, that’s never going to get old.”

“I don’t see why it would,” Frank says and then laughs.

“So, uh, one last question before I let you go,” Gerard says and Frank nods for him to go on, “if you accept that calling your friends acquaintances doesn’t make any sense, does that mean I’m your friend?”

“No,” Frank says resolutely.

“Oh,” Gerard says, the hopefulness draining from his voice swiftly.

“I’m not too sure what you are yet,” Frank finishes, “but certainly ‘friend’ is too mild a word.”

Gerard’s eyes widen a little and he looks at Frank exasperatedly, and starts, “whoa, wait. What does that mean-”

“Goodnight,” Frank says with a small grin as he closes the door on Gerard before he can say anything more.