When I Looked at Her, I Thought of Only You.
Chapter Thirteen.
Kellin's POV*
To say the tension in the room was awkward would be an understatement, I mean what do you say to the guy that found you minutes from death?
By the lack of conversation I could tell Mike was feeling just as lost for words as I was.
"Uh, so how are you Mike?" I asked, deciding to break the silence at last.
"I'm ok and you?" He asked back, politely.
"Yeah, I'm okay." I sighed, I really didn't know what to say to him.
We sat in another awkward as fuck silence for a few more minutes until he spoke up again,
"So, Vic's been visiting you everyday.." He said, thoughtfully.
"Oh, really?" Clearly confused, why the hell would Vic even care?
"Yeah, Kellin. Look, he genuinely does really like you and I know its your choice to tell him to fuck off or whatever but you've not actually gave him a proper chance to show you that he really does care, all you've done is shut him out from the very first moment you guys met."
That shocked me a little, I never really thought of it that way. In my head I was only protecting myself from getting hurt but Vic hadn't actually hurt me yet. Yeah, he's said some horrible things which he claimed was an accident..
"Mike, you know what he's like in school. He's really horrible to people, he might care about me but I don't want to even consider giving him a chance until he changes the way he acts towards other people. I mean, look at me I'm in here because of the way other peoples actions affected me. Imagine what Vic's actions are doing to people. I just don't want to be around someone like that.." I trailed of, losing my train of thought.
I looked towards Mike and noticed he had a sad look about him, he just nodded and then got up to leave.
"I'll eh, see you around. Hope you feel better soon yeah?" And with that he was gone and I was left alone to think about everything, again.
~~~~
I was getting out of this dreadful place in a few hours, I've been in here for over a week and a half now and in that time only Mike had come to see me, apparently Vic had but I was never awake when he came up and as far as I know my father hadn't even bothered to come and see me, no surprise there then.
I was feeling a mixture of things, excitement to be going home and leaving this place, nervous because I'll be made to go back to school soon and no doubt everyone will know what happened, scared because who knows what my dads going to do to me once I get home.
I was on the verge of having a panic attack when Jenna came rushing into my room, we've became quite close over the past few days and she's been really helpful and I'm probably going to miss her the most out of the nurses that's taken care of me.
"Hey, Kellin honey! I've made you an appointment to meet with your therapist, and yes you need to go okay? It'll help you get better, I've also went and sorted out your medication for the next few days until you meet with them." Jenna said, quickly.
She really does do so much for others, I felt the tears prick my eyes, this is probably the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
"Thank you, Jenna. I'm really going to miss you." I say, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.
"Aw honey, I'm going to miss you too! Just make sure you get better, okay?" She smiled her brilliant white smile.
"Okay." I smiled back and for the first time in a long time it was a genuine smile.
~~~~
I've been home for three days now and my dad hasn't once brought up the subject of why I was in the hospital, not that I'm complaining or anything. It just feels weird that he's not taking the piss out of me or shouting at me or anything like that. He's also stopped drinking as much and he goes to AA meetings now. I still think I'm in some weird alternative universe, I like it though.
Vic's been to my door a few time's but I'm just not ready to see him yet, I know I'll have too eventually but I'm going to hold off on that for as long as possible.
I'm still dreading what everyone at school will say and do to me, children can be so cruel.
I have all that to look forward too in the morning.
~~
I'm surprised I'm up early enough to shower and eat breakfast before having to walk the short distance to school, its very unlike me to be awake this early and actually feel okay about it.
I packed my stuff into my schoolbag and left the house, doing up my hoodie as I crossed the lawn. The temperature had definitely dropped over the past few days.
It wasn't long before I was standing outside the big metal gates to hell -I mean school.- whatever today brings, I know I can get through it, I thought to myself. At least that's what my therapist says.
Sighing I walk through the gates and then through the big old double doors that lead into the corridor with the lockers.
Well, here goes nothing..
To say the tension in the room was awkward would be an understatement, I mean what do you say to the guy that found you minutes from death?
By the lack of conversation I could tell Mike was feeling just as lost for words as I was.
"Uh, so how are you Mike?" I asked, deciding to break the silence at last.
"I'm ok and you?" He asked back, politely.
"Yeah, I'm okay." I sighed, I really didn't know what to say to him.
We sat in another awkward as fuck silence for a few more minutes until he spoke up again,
"So, Vic's been visiting you everyday.." He said, thoughtfully.
"Oh, really?" Clearly confused, why the hell would Vic even care?
"Yeah, Kellin. Look, he genuinely does really like you and I know its your choice to tell him to fuck off or whatever but you've not actually gave him a proper chance to show you that he really does care, all you've done is shut him out from the very first moment you guys met."
That shocked me a little, I never really thought of it that way. In my head I was only protecting myself from getting hurt but Vic hadn't actually hurt me yet. Yeah, he's said some horrible things which he claimed was an accident..
"Mike, you know what he's like in school. He's really horrible to people, he might care about me but I don't want to even consider giving him a chance until he changes the way he acts towards other people. I mean, look at me I'm in here because of the way other peoples actions affected me. Imagine what Vic's actions are doing to people. I just don't want to be around someone like that.." I trailed of, losing my train of thought.
I looked towards Mike and noticed he had a sad look about him, he just nodded and then got up to leave.
"I'll eh, see you around. Hope you feel better soon yeah?" And with that he was gone and I was left alone to think about everything, again.
~~~~
I was getting out of this dreadful place in a few hours, I've been in here for over a week and a half now and in that time only Mike had come to see me, apparently Vic had but I was never awake when he came up and as far as I know my father hadn't even bothered to come and see me, no surprise there then.
I was feeling a mixture of things, excitement to be going home and leaving this place, nervous because I'll be made to go back to school soon and no doubt everyone will know what happened, scared because who knows what my dads going to do to me once I get home.
I was on the verge of having a panic attack when Jenna came rushing into my room, we've became quite close over the past few days and she's been really helpful and I'm probably going to miss her the most out of the nurses that's taken care of me.
"Hey, Kellin honey! I've made you an appointment to meet with your therapist, and yes you need to go okay? It'll help you get better, I've also went and sorted out your medication for the next few days until you meet with them." Jenna said, quickly.
She really does do so much for others, I felt the tears prick my eyes, this is probably the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
"Thank you, Jenna. I'm really going to miss you." I say, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.
"Aw honey, I'm going to miss you too! Just make sure you get better, okay?" She smiled her brilliant white smile.
"Okay." I smiled back and for the first time in a long time it was a genuine smile.
~~~~
I've been home for three days now and my dad hasn't once brought up the subject of why I was in the hospital, not that I'm complaining or anything. It just feels weird that he's not taking the piss out of me or shouting at me or anything like that. He's also stopped drinking as much and he goes to AA meetings now. I still think I'm in some weird alternative universe, I like it though.
Vic's been to my door a few time's but I'm just not ready to see him yet, I know I'll have too eventually but I'm going to hold off on that for as long as possible.
I'm still dreading what everyone at school will say and do to me, children can be so cruel.
I have all that to look forward too in the morning.
~~
I'm surprised I'm up early enough to shower and eat breakfast before having to walk the short distance to school, its very unlike me to be awake this early and actually feel okay about it.
I packed my stuff into my schoolbag and left the house, doing up my hoodie as I crossed the lawn. The temperature had definitely dropped over the past few days.
It wasn't long before I was standing outside the big metal gates to hell -I mean school.- whatever today brings, I know I can get through it, I thought to myself. At least that's what my therapist says.
Sighing I walk through the gates and then through the big old double doors that lead into the corridor with the lockers.
Well, here goes nothing..