Not Desperate

Chapter 31
It’s Been a Long Road

“Michael! Get whatever you want to take and get it in the bag. We gotta leave soon and if you forget something you can’t just come home and get it. Lori is not driving you back here every day.” Yvonne was exhausted. The past three months had really taken a toll on her mentally, emotionally and physically. Finally, she and Daryl had reached a point where they were ready to move on, and were starting a new journey this weekend. Rick and Lori had happily agreed to let Michael spend the weekend with Carl. The two boys had become very close in the last couple of months and were eager to spend time together. Daryl, Rick and T-Dog had worked at every opportunity to repair all the damage done to the cabin. They had even made some improvements, based on Daryl’s plans for the future. Speaking of Daryl, he should be arriving shortly.
“I got everything mom. It’s cool, stop freaking out,” he said from the other room.
She went into his bedroom and he was setting on the bed. “I am your mother and I will freak out whenever the hell I feel like it.” She smiled and pulled him up and into a hug. “So grab whatever else you’re taking and set it by the door. Daryl will be here soon and I don’t want to waste any time.” Within five minutes, all their bags were ready and Daryl was pulling into the driveway. As soon as he walked through the door, Michael pounced on him.
“Hi dad! I’m so excited! Carl and I are gonna play video games all weekend!” Michael had finally asked him, that night three months ago when Rick brought him and Yvonne back from the cabin, if he could call him dad. Daryl had cried and hugged him. He told him that he didn’t know why in the world he would want to call him dad, but if he really wanted to, he could.
“Hey buddy! I got something for ya to make Carl jealous.” From behind his back, Daryl produced a small, white plastic bag. Michael grabbed it as eagerly as a ten year old could and plopped down on the couch.
“Oh. My. God. Thank you! Thank you!” The young boy was beaming and holding his new video game for his mom to see.
“Ah, the new zombie shooting thing, huh?” she said and gave Daryl a glare.
“It’s based off that TV show he’s been watching. The one with that guy that carries the crossbow. Figured he’d like it since he’s been asking me to teach him how to use mine. Carl’s been asking too, but I’m saving my classes for Michael. Thought it would make him feel good to be able to rub it in Carl’s face. That Grimes boy’s got an attitude.”
“Daryl! That’s not very nice! Michael don’t you dare do that. That game doesn’t make you any better than Carl. There’s no need to make him feel bad.”
“Daryl’s right though mom. Carl’s been getting a little big for his britches.”
“Oh my god,” Yvonne said. “I don’t think you two are allowed to play together anymore.” She pointed to Daryl and her son. “Don’t make me have to separate ya’ll.” After Michael and Daryl promised not to pick on Carl, he loaded their bags in the bed of the truck, having to put some things in the backseat because his motorcycle took up too much space. When they arrived at Rick’s house, Michael grabbed the game and ran to the door. Luckily, Rick was walking out of it at the same time and the boy dashed past him and ran upstairs to Carl’s room.
“Well shit!” Yvonne exclaimed. “I’m so sorry Rick. I hope you didn’t get hurt by Hurricane Michael.”
Rick walked up and hugged her tightly. “He’s not near as bad as Hurricane Carl. How are ya sweetheart?”
“I’m doing good Rick. How are you?”
“Just fine. Lori’s in the kitchen if ya wanna see her before you leave.”
“Alright. Let me grab the boy’s bags.” Once she was inside and out of ear shot, Rick went to Daryl and shook his hand.
“How are ya holding up brother?” he asked as he slapped him on the shoulder.
“I’m okay. Nervous as fuck though. Haven’t been alone like this in months. I don’t want to put too much pressure on her. I gave her the option to stay home, but she wants to do this. She wants everything to be normal again. So do I. I’ve missed her so much Rick. I feel like I did before we was together. Even when we’re in the same room, I feel like she’s too far away. I just want to be with her again.”
“I know man. Ya’ll have come a long way in the past three months. Still having nightmares?”
“Yeah, not as often though. I been staying at her house a little more, and when I’m there, it seems like I sleep better than I ever did. I think she does too.”
“That’s great to hear. You still seeing that doctor?” Rick asked.
“I got one more session. He thinks I’m ready to be released, but he wants to see me one more time after this weekend. Guess he just wants to know that me and Yvonne are good.”
“I want ya to know Daryl, I’m real proud of ya. I know ya had it rough with Merle and your dad growing up, even though ya never actually told me. I hope this has helped ya a little bit. Never thought you would have agreed to see a psychologist, but I think it was a good decision.”
Daryl stared at the ground and gathered his thoughts. “I only agreed to it for Yvonne’s sake, at first. I knew she was gonna go to therapy and I offered to go with her, support her, but she wanted to do it on her own. She thought it would be better that way. So I decided to do it too, for myself. I didn’t want to see her go through anything like that without me, and I figure I had enough shit of my own to fill an hour, or two. I tell ya Rick, most of that shit, I’d forgotten about, but here we are. I think we both needed it, not just because of what happened recently, but old stuff too.”
“Well, you’re right. Here ya are, leaving for a weekend alone together. You still planning on asking her?”
“Yeah, but it all depends on how things go. I want to take her to the creek, thinking about doing it there maybe. She likes it and it’s got some good memories.” They heard the screen door open as Yvonne and Lori stepped outside, laughing.
“It’s good to see her smiling and laughing,” Rick said.
“Ya damn straight it is,” Daryl replied with his own smile.
Lori walked up to Daryl and gave him a hug. She leaned into his ear and whispered, “She’ll say yes, trust me.” He tried to hide the blush that crept up in his cheeks. He was trying to keep it a secret, but it was hard when everybody else knew. “Oh, and Daryl?” Lori added as she and Rick walked back to the house. “Carl’s already jealous. Good job,” and gave him a thumbs up.

Daryl had asked Yvonne the night before if they could stop by the cemetery on their way out of town. He wanted to talk to his brother for a bit. As he got out of the truck, Yvonne reached into the bag in the backseat and produced a bouquet of red, silk roses. “Thank you darlin’” Daryl said and kissed her forehead before he walked away. He arranged the flowers best he could, around the ones that Carol had left earlier in the week. He sat on the ground facing Merle’s headstone. “Don’t know exactly how to say this, but I think you would be proud of me. I’ve been seeing a shrink for about two months now. I know you’re laughing at me, but I really don’t care. I ain’t gonna say it’s fixed everything, but I’m dealing with all of it. All the shit that happened with Yvonne, losing you, it tore me up more than I thought, but I’m okay with it. I forgive you . . . for all the shit you did. All the drugs, the times you weren’t there when I needed you. I can forgive daddy now too. Michael calls me dad now, ya know. Freaked me out at first. Was afraid of what that meant. He already had shit for a dad, I didn’t want to make things worse, but I think I’m doing pretty good. Yvonne says I spoil him, but he deserves it, and I think I do too.” He stopped talking for a while and stared at his brother’s name on the granite slab. “I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna ask her to marry me. I never told you this, but I got mamma’s ring. Her engagement ring. I found it after the fire. Didn’t tell no one ‘cause I thought somebody’d try to take it away from me. It was the only thing left of her and I figured you and daddy wouldn’t want it. I only kept it ‘cause it made me think of her. Missed her so much and I didn’t ever want to forget her. Never thought I’d want to give it to somebody someday. Never thought I’d find me a woman and fall in love. But I did Merle. I found Yvonne and she’s mine and I love her. Guess you know what that feels like, huh. Carol misses the fuck outta you. Kinda worried about her sometimes. I think Sophia is the only thing keeping her tethered to this Earth. I keep watch over ‘em though, for you. I ain’t gonna let anything happen to your family Merle. They’re my family too.” He sat quietly for another minute or two contemplating what to say. “I’m taking her to the cabin. Rick, T and I put it back together after that bastard Shane tore it up. It’s the first time we really been alone together since it all happened. We ain’t been together since then. I thought I was gonna loose her, but I didn’t. She loves me too. Can ya believe that? You said nobody would ever love me but you. I love you brother, but you were wrong.” He slowly stood up and placed his hand over the words on the granite slab. “I gotta go, but we’ll come back to see ya on our way home. I want you to see how beautiful that ring looks on her finger.”
When they arrived at the cabin, Daryl suddenly became nervous. He had been running scenarios of his proposal through his head since they left the cemetery. He didn’t know how her husband had done it and was afraid he might do something wrong. He didn’t want to do anything that would remind her of him. This had to be perfect. He had reached a tentative agreement with his mind now and hoped that it would work. After all she had been through with David, he wasn’t sure she would give marriage another chance, even with him. Once they unpacked the truck and settled in, he suggested a ride on the bike. She had ridden with him only twice, but he knew she loved it. He had even bought her a helmet of her own and her own leather jacket to wear when it got cold. Of course she said yes to the ride and hopped on behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing tight. He rode her all around his grandfather’s property, which was technically his now. Merle’s half had gone to him in his will. They went by the outskirts of the property to the tree line that marked the end of ownership, to the creek where they had first made love. He stopped the bike on the edge of the creek bed and put up the kickstand. Helping her off, they sat on the grass holding hands.
“I was thinking that maybe, after we eat, we could bring the truck and come back down here, watch the sunset.” He kissed the palm of the hand and moved closer.
“I would love that. Maybe you can finally tell me about that dream you had.”
The dream. The one he had the night he met her. The one that took place at this very spot. “Shit. I forgot about that. Well, not really. I remember the dream, I just forgot I told you about it.”
“I’m glad I mentioned it then. You promised you would tell me all about it when we came back here.”
“Hell woman. That ain’t the only dream I ever had about you. It was the first.”
“And you still remember it?”
“Of course sweetheart,” he said and cradled her face in his palms. “That dream was the death of me. After that dream, I knew I had to see you again. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, thinking about that dream. I think that’s when I fell in love with you. Well, it was either the dream or the kiss in the truck.”
“That night seems so far away,” she said wistfully. “I’ll never forget the first moment I laid eyes on you. I was sitting on that curb wishing I was somewhere else. Then you found me and you took me away. I’ll never be able to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. You saved me and comforted me and put me back together and I don’t think I could ever make you understand how those things have changed me. You have made me feel beautiful and smart, and important. No one had ever given me that before.”
Daryl wanted to ask her right then and there, but had left the ring in his backpack at the cabin. “God baby, I don’t fucking deserve you. I never expected you to get in the truck with me that night. Never expected you to look in my direction. I figured that somebody like me, somebody that looked like me, would scare the shit out of you. But you sat with me and talked to me. No woman had ever been that kind to me before. I was scared to death that night. I thought it was a dream or something. You’ve given me confidence, love and supported me. I thought I was gonna lose you forever, but you came back to me. You let me come back into your life. I could spend the rest of my life showing you and telling you how much it all means to me, but it wouldn’t be enough.” They leaned into each other and kissed passionately. Daryl had to reign himself in or else his plan was going to go to shit. He reluctantly pulled away from her, both of them panting heavily. When Yvonne’s growling stomach made its appearance, they both laughed, easing some of the tension they had created.
“God that is embarrassing. Let’s get back to the cabin so I can fill up. Sounds like I’m on empty.”
“Sure thing darlin’. We’ll be back here soon enough.” As they stood, Daryl playfully slapped her ass. “Let’s go. I gotta get my woman fed.”
Dinner wasn’t much, just sandwiches and chips, but it was enough to satisfy them both. They cuddled and kissed on the couch for a while until it was almost time for the sun to set. Daryl grabbed his backpack, making sure the small box that held his future was still tucked safely inside, and led Yvonne to the truck. She spent the short ride with her head resting on his shoulder and her hand intertwined with his. When they arrived at the creek, he backed the truck in so the bed would be facing the sunset. He pulled blankets and a pillow out of the extended cab of the truck and laid them out on the back. As they settled in together with their backs against the back window, the sun dipped below the horizon. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” she said staring at the now pink sky.
“Not as beautiful as you,” he said, also staring straight ahead. His heart began to pound in his chest and his ears. “You can see this every night for the rest of your life, if you want.”
“That would be amazing Daryl. I can’t imagine a better way to end a day.”
“I can,” he said, “but that can wait a minute. I got something for you.” He scooted out of the bed and went into the cab to rummage in his pack. Pulling out the box, he put it in his pocket and went back to sit next to her. She eyed him with suspicion and a sly smile. She knew he wanted their first night back together to be special, and she was a little giddy inside with anticipation. “I love you Yvonne.”
“I know you do. I love you too, you know that.”
“I do.” He stuttered a bit getting the next part out. “When I said you could see this sunset every night for the rest of your life, I meant it. I never thought I’d find someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.” He lifted his hips slightly to pull the box from his pocket. “I know you had a bad marriage, a bad experience, but it don’t have to be like that. I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love and adore you, how much I love Michael. I want us to be a real family.” He picked up the box from where he had set it by his leg. He slowly opened it to show her the promise inside. “Yvonne Bradley, be my wife, please.” He looked at her then, her face was beaming and wet from tears of surprise and joy. She held out her left hand to him.
“I would be proud and honored to be your wife Daryl Dixon.” He slid the ring on her finger. It was a perfect fit, and the tiny, cheap, and more than likely fake diamond shone like a beacon in the moonlight. She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him until he choked. “I didn’t expect this at all!”
“The ring was my momma’s. It ain’t much and I’ll get you a better one, a bigger one, but I couldn’t wait that long to ask you.”
“No you won’t. This ring means more to me than anything you could buy me. I’m not giving it up. You’ll have to pry it off my cold, dead finger.” He laughed.
“Whatever you want sweetheart. I just want ya to be happy. I want to be the one who makes you happy.”
“You are the only one who has ever made me happy.” She lifted her eyes to him. “Would you like to make me happy right now?”
He rested his head on her shoulder and took a deep breath. “Yes baby girl. I need you.” He moved his lips slowly against her neck, his hands running up and down her arms. He licked a line up her neck, to her jawline and then her lips. They kissed slowly, their tongues dancing and sliding around each other. He took her bottom lip between his teeth and pulled lightly, expelling a deep moan from her.
“Move to the tailgate, on your back,” he said in a deep, dark voice, filled with desire. She shivered in his arms and hurriedly did as she was told. He followed her, crawling off the truck. He stood in front of her and parted her thighs, coming to stand between them, his hardness resting comfortably against her heat. He closed his eyes and ran his hands up her body from her thighs, to her stomach, ribs, breasts and arms. Up and down, over and over again. He inched her shirt up and pulled it over her head. He leaned over her kissing and licking every inch of her skin, spending more time with her breasts as he pulled the cups of her bra down and took each one in his mouth. He pushed them together and took long licks, getting both nipples at one time. Her breathing became shallow and her body squirmed beneath him. He licked the shell of her ear and whispered, “I need your mouth baby girl. I want to see those beautiful, full lips stretched around my dick.”
She moaned uncontrollably as he lifted himself from her. He took her by the hand and helped her to sit up, then put his arms around her waist to help her jump from the tailgate. She immediately fell to her knees before him, unlacing and removing his boots. She unbuckled, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and let them fall to the ground. Then she wrapped her hand around his erection through the fabric of his boxers and he hissed at her touch. He stepped out of his pants and kicked them to the side. Her eyes moved up to look at him. They were dark, seductive and full of possibilities. She tugged the last barrier down his legs and he kicked them away to land next to his pants. His fully erect, glistening cock sprung free. One hand massaged his balls gently while the other squeezed the base of his cock. A low guttural moan escaped from the depth of his chest followed by a string of curse words. “Fuck, baby girl. I missed this so much, missed you so much.” She licked the pre come from his engorged head, and licked her way down his shaft, pressing her tongue against the vein on the underside. When her mouth fully engulfed him, he staggered backward and held her head tight against him, so as not to be separated from her. They both recovered quickly and without missing a beat, her hands continued to massage and pump him as her mouth sucked him. He had to stop this. He wouldn’t last this way and still needed to taste her and be inside her. Reluctantly, and breathlessly, he said, “Gotta stop baby girl. Gonna come soon if you don’t stop, and I ain’t finished with you. I gotta taste you, make you come. I gotta be inside you, make you scream”
She hummed in approval and he jerked her mouth off him. “No, no baby girl. Already told you, ya can’t be doing that. Stand up.” She stood and he lifted her up, setting her on the tailgate. He spoke low into her ear as he took the rest of her clothes off. “I’m gonna lick your pussy, suck it, fuck you with my tongue and my fingers.” The smell of her arousal was intoxicating. He felt drunk, his mind was reeling from lust and desire. He peeled her pants from her legs and threw them in the pile with his. He removed his shirt, leaving him completely naked in front of her. He leaned his body over and rubbed his nose in the crotch of her lace panties, inhaling the scent of her wetness. And she was so wet for him, as always. He was still stunned that he could do this to her, turn her into fucking Niagara Falls. He rubbed her clit through the lace with the pad of this thumb. She moaned and whined at this touch. He wanted her in his mouth and couldn’t wait any longer. He pulled at the lace until it came apart in his hands.
He took two fingers and pulled her lips apart and placed a gentle kiss to her engorged clit. “Oh fuck! Daryl!” she cried.
“Does this feel good?” He licked her from bottom to top. “Do I make you feel good?” He sucked on her clit and pulled it with his mouth.
“Yes! Oh god yes! Please don’t stop!” she cried.
“Baby, I’m not gonna stop.” He pushes two fingers inside her. “I’m just getting started. I’m gonna make you come all night long. I missed you so fucking much.” He sucks on her hard nub and her hands fly to the back of his head. She twists her fingers in his soft hair, holding him in place. He kisses, sucks, licks and pulls at her with his teeth while adding another finger and increasing his speed. He hums as he works his mouth on her and her cries and moans get louder. She begins to shake and shutter when she feels the fire of orgasm in her belly.
“Fuck Daryl! I’m gonna come! Please! I’m gonna come!”
“Come for me woman. Come for me now.” She releases into his eager mouth and he laps her up like a kitten with milk. He doesn’t stop until her body has gone slack. He kisses his way up her body, as he did before, stopping at her breasts again, drawing each one into his mouth for a moment. With his face less than an inch from hers, he speaks. “I love you, and I promise that I will always be here for you, in every way you need me. I will love you like this every night for the rest of our lives.” He takes her mouth with his. She can taste herself on him, and he can taste himself on her. They moan into each other as their tongues collide. “I can’t wait any longer,” he says as he pulls his lips from hers. “Are you ready for me baby?”
“Yes,” she replies and wraps her legs around his waist. He pins her arms above her head with one hand, as he guides himself to her entrance with the other. Before he enters her, he says one last thing. “It’s gonna be like this forever, Yvonne. Me and you, forever. I can’t get enough of you baby. You’re beautiful and mine, and I will never get enough of you.” She gasps when his head breaches her chasm. He enters her slowly and when he is balls deep inside her, he doesn’t move. He gives her time to adjust to him and when she smiles and nods her head, he pulls out and thrusts back into her. He is so close already. Her tight walls squeezing him without mercy. He is panting and cursing under his breath. Her body is writhing beneath him. He is ready to come, but controls himself. He promised she would come all night and he is gonna keep that promise. He begins to rub her again and her cries become screams as his thrusts get harder and faster. “Let me touch you, please,” she begs him. He releases her arms and they wind around him to his back. She feels that pressure again, the fire has returned. She digs her nails into his back, within his scars, and drags them down. The pain is immense, but the pleasure of being inside her, of fucking her, of loving her again overshadows it. His body begins to shutter and he knows he is about to come, he can’t stop it this time.
“Baby, you have to come. Please,” he whines, desperate for his release. And when her second orgasm hits her, it’s like a tidal wave. She screams his name into the darkness. That sound, the sound of his name falling from her lips in pure ecstasy, is his undoing. He releases his seed into her, pumping harder and faster. Growls, followed by her name come falling from his own lips. When his body stops moving, he collapses on top of her without thinking. When he realizes he must be crushing her, he moves to roll to the side, but she holds him against her, laying his head to rest between her breasts.
They lay there, arms around each other. He listens to her heartbeat return to normal, as his does the same. He lifts his head and looks into her eyes. He pushes a strand of her soft, blonde hair behind her ear. “Give me five minutes darlin’, then we can head back to the cabin. I should be ready for round two by then.” She brings his face to hers and kisses his lips softly.
“You better be, Mr. Dixon.”