Not Desperate

Chapter 32
A Big Step

Daryl downed another shot. It was his third, and he was still pretty sober. Rick, T-Dog and Phillip were way ahead of him in this category. He was having fun though, shooting pool and drinking with his friends. The goal wasn’t just to have fun though, the guys were trying to calm his nerves. Tomorrow was going to be the biggest day of his life, a day he thought would never come. A day he had been told over and over his whole life he didn’t deserve. He had thought, for a while now, that he did deserve it. He deserved Yvonne and Michael and their love just as much as they deserved his.

“It’s your turn D,” T-Dog said and smacked Daryl’s ass with his pool stick. “Get your head outta your ass and scratch already so I can win this.”

“Fuck you T. I won the first game. You win this one and it’s a gift from me to you. Make yourself useful and get us a round of beers. You’re gonna have some time to kill till your next shot.”

“You’re an asshole Daryl,” he said as left in the direction of the bartender.

“Wow T, no one’s ever said that to me before,” Daryl said barely containing his laughter as he sunk the number nine ball in the left side pocket. This was the first night all the guys had been together for some time now, usually seeing each other in passing as they moved through town or an occasional lunch date. Phillip was now an official member of their club. Shortly after the incident, he decided to leave Woodbury, and when a spot as Rick’s partner came open, he transferred to the Senoia Sheriff’s Department. Daryl respected Phillip for what he had done for Michael and Yvonne and was now proud to call him a friend.

As the night went on, there was more pool, beer and a couple games of darts, but when Rick sent one sailing into the wall next to Daryl’s head, they were banned for the rest of the night. Regardless, they had fun. Daryl was teased relentlessly by T-Dog and Phillip for being pussy whipped and losing his freedom, and his manhood.

“Damn right she’s got ‘em,” Daryl said. “They feel a lot better when she’s holding ‘em anyway,” he said, too drunk to give a fuck and the whole table erupted with laughter. Rick was in no position to tease though, and instead, offered some drunken advice.

“When a woman says she’s fine, she ain’t fine. She wants ya to find out what’s wrong, and if ya can’t that means ya ain’t paying enough attention to her,” he slurred. “Women are stealthy too. They ain’t gonna give anything away. They make you work for every piece of information they have. Ya gotta be persistent, if ya stop asking them about shit, they’ll assume you don’t care about them anymore.” He patted Daryl on the shoulder. “Be vigilant man. Don’t give up, even when she curses you six ways to Sunday. And ya gotta talk to her about everything. Silence kills man.”

Daryl stopped him with a slap to the back. “You’re a wise man Rick Grimes. Thank you man. Thank you for being my friend, and my best man. I love you Rick.” T-Dog and Phillip decided to interrupt the lovefest before things went too far. “Alright y’all. Dixon already has a woman, so do you Grimes. Don’t want Lori or Yvonne to get jealous now do ya?” T said trying to pull the two men apart. “Besides,” Phillip added, trying to help Daryl stand up straight, “I don’t think Rick would look as good as Yvonne will in that dress.” Daryl turned to face his new friend. “She’s gonna be beautiful man. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. She deserves better than me.” As they walked outside to get in the cab, Phillip replied, “You’re probably right,” and shoved Daryl into the backseat. “What the fuck?!” he said as his head hit the seat.

Lori and Jackie were mixing the punch as Carol was setting up the buffet. Lori and Yvonne had been decorating and cooking all day, and now that Carol and Jackie had arrived, the wine punch was flowing. “You think the guys are drunk by now?” Jackie asked them.

“They haven’t been gone long, but I think Rick was halfway to shitfaced before they left, so yes, by now they probably are,” Lori said, filling everyone’s glass again.

“I think we better get into the food before we end up drunker than the men,” Carol said and made a beeline for the buffet table. It was all appetizers and desserts; crackers, chips, dip, tiny sandwiches, smoked sausage balls and a veggie plate, among many yummy chocolate things scattered around the table. They had thrown Yvonne a wedding shower about a month ago, but it had been very tame, giving mainly household items and decretive things for the cabin where she, Daryl and Michael would be living. Tonight, the girls had planned a surprise for her. All the gifts were hidden in the hall closet and after they had settled down with their food, Lori and Jackie excused themselves to retrieve the gift bags.

Yvonne almost choked on a sausage ball when she saw all the bags they were bringing in. “What is this?” she asked astonished.

“This is your bachelorette shower,” Jackie said, grinning from ear to ear. “We thought you might need a few things for the honeymoon. We got you stocked up.” Lori handed her the first bag and went to sit next to her.

“Oh my god. I don’t know what to say. Y’all didn’t have to do this, but thank you.” Carol cleared her throat, “You don’t have to say a thing hon, but you have to tell us what Daryl said when ya get back.” They all erupted into a fit of giggles as she reached into the bag. It was not at all what she was expecting. She pulled out a white lace bustier with a tiny bow at the cleavage and a matching white lace thong. “I thought you could were it under your dress tomorrow,” Lori told her. “You’ll feel beautiful inside and out,” she laughed again.

“You never told us where y’all are going on the honeymoon. Is it a big secret?” Carol asked as she handed her two more bags.

“It must be a secret, ‘cause he won’t even tell me. I think the guys helped him plan it, so they probably know. He just said to pack tiny clothes, one nice dress and my bathing suit.” She dug into the other bag and pulled out a red lace bra and panty set and another one in black. “Well, at least I have the tiny clothes part taken care of,” she laughed. “Lord Carol, do you think I’m gonna be wearing these long enough for it to be worth it?”

“Maybe, maybe not, but tell Daryl the shop won’t take them back if they’re ripped apart.”

“I don’t think he’s gonna give a shit either way,” Jackie said. “T sure as hell don’t.” The women were hysterical with wine fueled laughter at this point. Yvonne opened four more bags of lingerie which included a couple of corsets, stockings, a very nice pair of thigh high black leather boots, a nurse’s outfit and a French maid’s costume. When she had finished opening all her presents, she sat back on the couch and finished her fifth glass of punch.

“This is too much girls. You really didn’t have to do all this, but I love it. Thank you.”

“There’s one more thing,” Lori said and went back out to the hallway. She returned with a medium sized moving box and sat it on the floor in front of Yvonne. “We all went in for this one together. We didn’t know what you guys are into, so I hope that you can use a few of these. Maybe y’all can try something new.” Yvonne gave her a weird and confused look, then opened the box. The first thing she saw was three boxes of condoms. “These things may last longer than you think. I hate these things. I don’t make him wear one unless he has to.”

“Yeah well, Rick and I did the same thing until there was Carl. Keep looking, there are better things than that in there.” She pulled out a pair of handcuffs, a ball gag, a leash and collar, nipple clamps and blindfolds that match every outfit she had received. She just stared at the motley assortment of sex toys.

“I always wanted to try this stuff, but David would only do it his way. He didn’t know what he was doing, but didn’t care, I think. Is Daryl into this?”

“I don’t really know if he’s into it or not, but he would probably be willing to do it if he knew you wanted to try it,” Carol said. “You forget who his brother was.”

“Merle was into BDSM?” the three other women said in unison.

“Not all the time. He was afraid to bring it up at first because of what I’d gone through with Ed, but I found some of his toys one day and asked him about them. I trusted him, knew enough about him to know he’d never hurt me like Ed did. I’m sure Daryl had to have known too. Merle spent years trying to get him laid, he probably gave him a lot of unsolicited advice.”

“WOW, just wow,” was all Yvonne could say. “I need another drink and more food.” The rest of the night as spent laughing, and telling stories on their men. Carol’s by far were the most interesting, of course, and gave Yvonne lots of inspiration for her honeymoon week. They had all passed out in various spots in the living room by midnight. The wedding wasn’t until evening, so they would have plenty of time to sober up. Yvonne’s vibrating ass woke her in the wee hours of the morning, it was a text from Daryl.

-Hey beautiful. How are ya? Have a good night?

-Yep. Got some presents that I think you’ll like and learned more about your brother than I ever wanted to know.”

-Carol got shitfaced, didn’t she?

-Yep, we all did. I miss you. It’s not fair that I can’t see you.

-I know sweetheart. I wanna see you too, but when we do see each other, you’ll be my wife. I can’t wait. I love you so much.

-I can’t wait either. I love you too. Try to get some sleep. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.

-Yeah, so do you beautiful. Goodnight. Sweet dreams.

Daryl tucked his phone back in his jacket pocket and snuggled in next to Rick on T-Dog’s pull out couch. T and Phillip were on the floor next to them. The drunk was starting to wear off and his nerves were on high alert again. He was so very tired and the sounds of the three other men snoring were driving him crazy. He got out of the makeshift bed and grabbed his smokes, he stepped outside. He knew the nervousness and anxiety wasn’t from fear, it was from excitement. He had never been this happy before and never had anything as wonderful as this to look forward to. After three cigarettes and a lot of thinking, he looked at his phone, three o’clock in the morning. His eyelids were beginning to droop and he didn’t want the guys telling Yvonne that he had passed out on the back porch. He ground his cigarette into the grass and went back inside. He once again cuddled into Rick and closed his eyes, falling asleep almost instantly.

Yvonne woke up to the smell of bacon wafting through the house, and smiled without being conscious of it. She could hear conversation coming from the kitchen and rose from the recliner she had slept on. She followed her nose to the food. “Good morning,” she said and sat down at the table.

“Good morning Mrs. Dixon,” the trio said in unison. Lori sat a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of her.

“Damn Lori, this smells so good,” Yvonne said as she picked up her fork and dove in.

“Thanks! Rick and Carl say they just love my pancakes. I usually only make them on Sundays, but this is a special day, and I thought it would be a treat.” Once all the women were seated with food and fresh hot coffee in front of them, Yvonne asked, “Okay, so what the schedule for today?”

Lori picked up the itinerary she had written out and began to recite it. “It’s nine now, we have to be at the salon at one. I thought we could go shopping a bit before that. You’ll need a new bag for all your goodies from last night. Then after that, we’ll go pick up Sophia from her friend’s house and head for the salon. We’re all getting our hair and make-up done, then getting a manicure. We should get to the church by three-thirty at the latest and that will give up plenty of time to get ourselves dressed and have some bridal party pictures done. Rick and I are keeping up with each other today, so we will all be on the same page. The guys don’t have to do as much as we do and I’m afraid they’ll get lazy and lose track of the time.”

“Wonder if they’re even awake yet?” Jackie asked out loud.

“Only one way to find out,” Lori replied and grabbed her phone off the table and dialed Rick’s number. He picked up after three rings.

“MMmmmmmm?” he said into the phone. He hadn’t even looked at the screen before he answered.

“Good morning sweetheart, how are you feeling this morning?”

“Like fucking shit Lori. How the hell are you girls this fine morning?”

“Can you not be an ass when you’re hung over? Not my fault we can hold our liquor and y’all can’t. Anyway, just wanted to make sure you boys were still alive and Daryl didn’t skip town.”

“Yeah we’re still alive, barely. Daryl’s around here somewhere. Woke up with his arms around me, breathing down my neck. I think Phil got a picture, gotta confiscate his phone before he sends it out.” Just then, Lori heard Daryl yelling in the background.

“You talking to Lori?” he asked.

“Yeah, you want to talk to her?”

“Naw,” he said, “just ask her how her how my girl’s doing.”

“Would he like to speak to his girl?” Lori asked, smiling at Yvonne.

“I’m sure he would,” Rick replied and handed over his phone, going to look for Phillip’s.

“Hey Lori,” he said when he took the phone, “How’s she doing? Can I talk to her?”

“Sure Daryl. Hold on.” Lori handed the phone to the bride-to-be.

“Hello?”

“Hey darlin’. How are you? You doing okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just fine. How are you? You sound like you tied one on pretty good last night.”

“Yep, we all did. It was one hell of a night, woke up in bed with Rick this morning . . . . but I was thinking about you all night.”

“Well, that’s good to know. You’ll just have to be gentle when you break it off with him, your mine and I don’t want him getting jealous.” The rest of the girls laughed.

“Don’t worry, I think he’ll understand.” Yvonne could hear the smile on his face when he said it. “I can’t wait to see you later. I’m so nervous. I hope I don’t forget what to say.”

“Well, as long as you’re paying attention to the preacher you won’t, but if you do, I think everyone knows how we feel about each other.”

“Yeah, they do. Listen, we’re gonna pick up the boys before we get to the church, so don’t worry about that. Just do what you girls gotta do to get dolled up. I’ll be waiting at the altar for you.”

“I’m nervous too, but excited. I can’t wait to be our wife. I love you.”

“I can’t wait to be your husband. I love you baby. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Daryl handed the phone back to Rick, who had been unsuccessful in his quest to find Phillip’s phone. The guys were getting ready to go out for breakfast and pick up Michael and Carl before heading to the church. The girls were getting ready too. They packed their dresses and accessories into Lori’s SUV and headed to the shopping center to buy a bag for Yvonne’s honeymoon items. The shopping didn’t take long and they decided to pick up Sophia early and have lunch. They wouldn’t have the opportunity to eat until the reception, and Yvonne just knew that her stomach would make an appearance during the most solemn part of the ceremony. Everybody had salad, a last ditch effort to make sure they would fit into the dresses. They got to the salon about ten minutes before their appointment time. The owner was a friend of Jackie’s and she had offered her services at no cost for the entire bridal party. The shop was closed for the day, so the girls could get the full attention of the staff. To conserve time, hair and make-up were done at the same time and nails were done after. Even Sophia got everything done too. She was an honorary bridesmaid and would be wearing a smaller version of the dress the older women were wearing. There was laughter and champagne and more stories. By the time they left for the church, Yvonne had calmed down a bit and was focused on the end game, becoming Mrs. Daryl Dixon.

The men were enjoying their big country breakfast, the table was filled with eggs made every way, bacon, sausage, grits, fried potatoes, biscuits and gravy. They had almost turned it into a buffet by picking food off each other’s plates. They were still quite hungover, but the grease and bottomless cups of coffee were helping. Rick had never found Phillip’s phone, but knew he had it on his person. He kept a sharp eye on the man to see if he would take it out, but he didn’t. Daryl took his phone out of his back pocket when he felt it vibrate, it was a text from Yvonne.

-Tell T thanks for the pics.

“What the hell does that mean?” he said out loud.

“What happened?” Rick asked.

“I don’t know. It’s a text from Yvonne.” He passed his phone to Rick so he could read it.

“Shit!” he exclaimed, looking right at T-Dog. “It was you! I thought it was Phil.”

“You thought it was me what?” Phillip asked confused.

“I knew someone took a picture of me and Daryl ‘cuddling’ this morning. I thought it was you.”

“Wait, what?” Daryl asked confused.

“I took a picture of y’all this morning. You were so cute. You were the big spoon and you had your arms around Rick. It looked like you had your face buried in his neck. Thought your women would get a kick out of it. Don’t tell me she cancelled the wedding because of that?”

“No, uh, she said to tell you thanks,” Daryl said, still a little confused. “Can I see it?”

“Nope. She’s got a copy. Make her show it to ya. Embrace it guys. Don’t be ashamed of your love.” T was laughing like a maniac now and Phillip was trying to keep from doing the same. Daryl wasn’t bothered by it, just surprised. He’d woken up in worse places than Rick’s arms. Women did that shit all the time, didn’t they? He bet the girls woke up all cuddled together this morning. He didn’t understand why Rick was so upset about it.

“Come on Rick,” Daryl said, putting his arm around him, “I love you man, just not like that. You afraid Lori’s gonna be jealous?”

“Jealous of you,” Rick said as he almost burst into laughter too. “We better go pick up the boys, they’re probably chomping at the bit to get to the church.”

Both Michael and Daryl were quiet on the ride. Daryl could tell the boy was as nervous as he was, but wasn’t sure what to say to him. When they arrived at the First Baptist Church of Senoia, they grabbed their tuxedoes and headed inside to the Groom’s changing room. Before they walked through the door, Michael tugged on Daryl’s shirt stopping him from going inside. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” the boy said quietly. Daryl told the other’s to go on in, they would be along directly. The two went over to the steps and sat down.

“What’s on your mind, buddy?”

“I’m just a little nervous, that’s all. Are you nervous?”

“Yeah, I am, but I’m excited too. Never thought I’d have a family. This is a big step for all of us, but I’m happy. I’m happy that Yvonne is gonna be my wife and we’re gonna be together forever. I’m happy that you’re gonna be my son. I don’t really know how to be a husband or a dad, but I’m gonna do the best I can. I’m gonna try my best to make sure you and your momma are happy too.”

“I’m glad you’re my dad now. I don’t have to worry about mom any more. You take good care of us, and I just want to say thank you and I love you.”

Daryl reached over and pulled him into a hug. “I love you too Michael. Let’s go get ready. I think we’re gonna have pictures taken before the ceremony of just the guys. I want to get a few of just you and me too, okay?”

“Cool!” he replied and hugged his dad again, then ran through the front door.

Lori and Jackie were helping Yvonne into her wedding dress. She had chosen a white, strapless dress with lace crisscrossing down the middle. They heard the men arrive and Yvonne moved to look out the window, but Sophia stopped her. “It’s bad luck Aunt Yvonne. You can’t see him yet.”

“I just need to make sure he’s here. I have this fear that he’s gonna forget, or change his mind. Maybe the guys want me to think he’s here, so I won’t be upset.”

“Yes, they don’t want you to be upset until you get to the altar and see that he isn’t there. That’s their plan.” Jackie patted her on the knee and laughed. I’ll run out real quick and make sure honey.”

“Thanks Jackie. I know it’s stupid. I’m just real nervous. Last time I did this, I wasn’t and should have been.” Carol and Lori sat beside her on the bench.

“Being nervous is okay, as long as you’re not questioning your decision. You don’t need to question his.”

“I know Carol, but I can’t stop it. God, what I’d give for a cigarette.” The two women laughed.

“How about I go ask Daryl if he has four he can spare?” the older woman asked.

“Thank you, but I bet he’s smoked them all by now.

Grabbing Sophia as she walked out the door, Carol said, “I’ll try to get to him before he does.”

Yvonne took advantage of the fact that she and Lori were alone in the room now. “Thank you for being my matron of honor. It means a lot.”

“Are you kidding? I would have fought both of them for this. It means a lot to me too. I’m just so happy for you and Daryl. He’s been alone for so long, never interested in anybody really. Not enough to spend the rest of his life with them anyway.” When the two other women came back into the room, Carol was holding four cigarettes.

“I let Sophia stay with Michael and Carl. I told them they should go to the sanctuary and look at the flowers.” The four women snuck out the back entrance of the church and lit up. Yvonne’s was gone in under two minutes, but it had relaxed her somewhat. They returned to the bridal room with approximately thirty minutes to go before the ceremony was to start and there was a knock on the door.

“Momma, can I come in. I got something to show ya.”

“Of course baby, come in.” When Michael came through the door Paul followed him.

“Oh my god!” Yvonne exclaimed and ran to hug her former father-in-law. “I didn’t know you were coming! Thank you!” Paul pulled back from the hug and gave her a brilliant, proud smile.

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world. I thought, if it’s okay, I’d like to give you away. You don’t have anybody else to do it, do you?”

“Oh Paul! I would be honored if you would. I always wished that you had been my real father, ya know.” He put his arm around her one more time.

“I know honey. Me too.”

“Mamma?”

“Yes baby?”

“Would it be okay if I gave you away too? I just want Daryl to know how much I trust him.” Yvonne wiped tears from her eyes.

“Of course baby. I would be honored. I am so proud of you and I love you so much.” Lori and Carol rushed over with tissues to blot the tears away so her make up wouldn’t be ruined.

“Alright Michael,” Lori said to him. “It’s time for you to go and make sure Daryl is at the altar. We’ll be coming out soon.” He kissed his mamma’s cheek and dashed out the door. “We have to line up. As soon as we hear that music, head out. I’m in the front, then Carol, Jackie and Sophia. When they start playing the wedding march, you and Paul come out.”

“I know Lori,” Yvonne said grinning. “I’ve done this before, remember. I know how it works.”

Lori smiled back at her, “I know. I guess I’m a little nervous too.” When the music started, Lori and the bridesmaids walked out the door and into the sanctuary.